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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27192380">Paper planes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharlesDearest/pseuds/CharlesDearest'>CharlesDearest</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Amnesia, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad Parenting, Bisexual Jeremy Heere, Coma, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Fire, Fluff and Angst, Gay Michael Mell, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, M/M, My First Be More Chill Fic, Rich set a fire, Ritch is a pyromanic, Trans Character, Trans Michael Mell, Violence, deadnaming, inconsistent, really inconsistent, try not to think about it too hard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 16:21:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>76,090</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27192380</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharlesDearest/pseuds/CharlesDearest</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>What if the squip knocked Jeremy out before he got a chance to drink the Mountain dew red. What if it put him in a coma instead. What if Michael spent a year figuring out how to save Jeremy, then Jeremy woke up with no memory of Michael and the squips. All he remembers is the perfect life in his dreams. </p><p>Guess what I wrote it (with a co writer). Set a year after the the play when Jeremy wakes up.</p><p>Read the tags, I will try to include trigger warnings at the start of chapters but I'm new to that too so I will probably miss stuff out (sorry).</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Christine Canigula &amp; Michael Mell, Jake Dillinger/Rich Goranski, Jeremy Heere/Michael Mell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Michael's squip looks like Jeremy because its evil.<br/>Also I'm really bad at tw becasue it's nit just me editing this. If there's something I miss please tell me.</p>
    </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I do not own be more chill.</p><p><i>Italics</i>= thinking/ talking to someone using thought<br/><tt>this text</tt>= messaging<br/></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Michael makes an entrance into Jeremy’s hospital room just before he wakes up. He has a backpack filled with mountain dew red and all of his research just in case</p><p><i>Back here so soon Michael?</i> Michael's squip says smiling cruelty. Nothing like Jeremy at all. <i>You know he's not going to wake up. Not until I've achieved full control.”</i></p><p>
  <i>Well, he isn’t awake yet! As long as I can get this Mountain Dew Red in his system before he wakes up, this whole hive-mind will shut down. I’ve done enough research <b>by hacking you I might add</b> to know how this works</i>
</p><p>If possible the squip's grin becomes broader, <i>"I know what you're doing Michael. I let you. You wouldn't dare harm me, not whilst I have Jeremy"</i>

<i>I know that if there’s one thing you can’t do, it's to induce physical harm on someone. I haven’t upgraded, so the only neural networks you have access to are my tear ducts and my memory. The parts of my memory you can't access, however, are the ones I’ve programmed you to ignore. For Jeremy, you can control his muscle networks and voice on occasion, but you can’t override his natural reflexes. I’ve thought this out, you know.</i> Michael starts pulling the Mountain Dew Red out of his backpack.

</p><p>The Jeremy squip visibly stiffens. <i>Michael think about this. You've no idea what that'll do to Jeremy. You could make his condition worse.</i> At that the casual beeping that signified Jeremy's heart beat suddenly speeds up. <i>You know for sure I can't hurt you but what about Jeremy?</i> All of a sudden the squip looks relaxed again. <i>You're willing to selfishly rush his life? For what? Take him away from the one true happiness he has. In there,</i> the squip gestures at Jeremy's head, <i>he's happy. Why are you trying to take that away from him?</i>

<i>Because I know he isn’t happy. If—no, when—he comes back and realizes he caused all of this, he’ll be devastated. He was the last person in the play to have free will, all because his defective squip synced with the others and corrupted their programming. He isn’t happy. He might think he is, but he’s not. I know him.</i>

</p><p>The squip sighs as if it's disappointed, <i>oh Michael, why can't you just accept, everyone is happier now. You're the odd one out, you're the freak, you're the loser. Jeremy has finally moved on from that, why can't you?</i> The squip gazes at the defiant Michael with a sorrowful expression. One that almost looks like Jeremy's face when Michael stole and broke Jeremy’s Atari.</p><p>Michael looks between the SQUIP and Jeremy. Something comes to mind as he looks at the SQUIP’s expression.</p><p>*<i>Flashback, flashback, flashback</i>*</p><p>”Michael! My vintage Atari!! What happened???” Jeremy looked between Michael and the newly mangled console in his hand. Well, what once was a console.<br/>
“I’m sorry Jer! I tried to play it and your cat came in and I started petting her and got distracted and stepped on—“ Michael started to ramble, but Jeremy cut him off.:<br/>
“It’s fine. I’ll just save up again!” Jeremy sounded cheerful but the expression on his face gave him away.<br/>
“I have an idea! What if I get you another one for your birthday in two weeks?” Michael tried to sound happy but his voice cracked. He felt really bad for breaking it.<br/>
“You’d spend that much money for me? but aren’t you saving up for a—“ Michael interrupts<br/>
“It’s fine Jeremy, you deserve it!”<br/>
Jeremy’s expression changed from sad to what seemed sadder. Tears were coming out of his eyes.<br/>
“I’m sorry Jer did I say something wr—“ Michael was cut off by getting tackled in a hug.<br/>
“Thank you so much Michael,” Jeremy mumbled between sniffles. Michael pat his back.<br/>
“It’s nothing dude! really!” Michael gave him a bigger hug when he heard Jeremy cry harder. “Hey, I have an idea! Let’s make a deal.”<br/>
Jeremy nodded for him to go on.<br/>
“Whenever one of us makes the other sad, we have to buy the other a slurpee. I’ll buy you blue raspberry if it’s a normal sad, but I’ll buy you the cotton candy flavor from two towns away if it’s an extra sad. You’ll get me cherry for normal and piña colada for extra!”<br/>
Jeremy lit up at the mention of apology slurpees. “Deal!” They dramatically shook hands and forgot all about the Atari. At least, until Michael blew his savings to buy 3 Ataris so that Jeremy always had a replacement.</p><p>*<i>Enddddd</i>*</p><p>The SQUIP puts a hand on Michael's shoulder, <i>I may not know exactly what you're thinking but with access to Jeremy's memories I can predict. You never made him happy, not really. Not as happy as I can make him.</i> It fights Michael's memories with Jeremy's fake ones.

</p><p>*<i>An insight to a sleeping Jeremy’s mind</i>*</p><p>Jeremy's lounging in the sun, next to a pool in nothing but his swim trunks, he's fitter than before, he has the body he always wanted to have, muscly and perfect. The squip knows Jeremy's insecurities and how to eradicate them. Christine is sat on his lap, wearing a yellow bikini and saying something, moving her hands about to illustrate her words. Jeremy smiles and laughs. Christine pushes him playfully, they both burst out laughing. Rich walks by, grinning, attached to his arm is Brooke. She's smiling and whispering something into Rich's ear. He nods at her. She runs off and pushes Jeremy and Christine into the pool. Rich runs up behind her and pushes her in, then dive bombs in herself.</p><p>Jake walks up. He looks noticeably different to in real life, less tall, Jeremy could easily overpower him in a fight. Chloe is walking next to him. They're both smiling as if their having a lovely conversation. When they spot the others in the pool they run over.</p><p>"Hey dude," Jake says.</p><p>"Hi," Jeremy replies looking happier than Michael had seen it in a long time</p><p>"I see you finally convinced Christene to come,"</p><p>"Well we've been so busy lately with the new play and tests, I knew we would need a break soon."</p><p>"I heard you're the lead role." Jake raises an eyebrow.</p><p>Jeremy laughs, "you'll have to find out when you watch it."</p><p>"Worth a shot," Jake grins.</p><p>Rich swims over and splashes them both, "what on earth could you guys be talking about that's more important than right now?"</p><p>Jeremy looks over to see the girls splashing each other and shrieking with laughter.</p><p>He laughs and joins in.</p><p>After a long match of splashing each other one of the waves get too high and Christine is hit directly in the face with a float. It hits her with a dull, "thwack" sound. Everyone goes quiet and looks at Jeremy.</p><p>Jeremy himself is calm. He swims over to Christine, who's cradling her face, and guides her out the pool. Everyone watches in silence until he waves at them.</p><p>Jeremy and Christine stand in a fancy kitchen, one wall is just a window overlooking beautiful scenery. Jeremy opens one of the draws, it's stocked to the brim with medical supplies and pulls out a plaster.</p><p>"Where are you hurt?' he asks in the kindest voice.</p><p>Christine lifts her hands to reveal a nosebleed. Jeremy puts down the plaster and gets a tissue. He starts dabbing her nose.</p><p>When the blood stops he uses a different tissue to wipe away her tears, "what's wrong?' he asks. Still in that softest of soft voice.</p><p>"S-sorry, it just surprised me that's all. I j-just ruined a perfect evening." Christine sobs.</p><p>"Nonsense," Jeremy soothes, "you didn't ruin anything, I love you for who you are, flaws and all.</p><p>Christine smiles, stands on her tiptoes and kisses Jeremy. The kiss starts to grow deeper.</p><p>*<i>The images cut off</i>*</p><p><i>So Michael do you really think you can make him happier than that. He has respect, he has status and he has Christine. None of these things you could give him. the only thing he doesn't have is you.</i> The squip grins cruelly and it doesn't suit Jeremy's face, the face it uses because it knows that Jeremy's never waking up. That there's no way for Michael to get confused.</p><p>Michael looks at the squip with sorrow in his eyes. He then looks back at Jeremy, lying there on the brink of death. The squip is what did this to him and even if Jeremy hates him forever, he has to do this. “deactivate,” Michael says. The squip vanishes. Michael looks back to Jeremy and thinks about their deal. The part Jeremy added at the end.</p><p>~•~*<i>Back to flachback</i>*~•~</p><p>”And if one of us brings the other the extra sad slurpee and a new Atari game, we have to forgive the other. For you, it has to be in the traditional game genre like PacMan and Mario, but for me, it has to be the OBVIOUSLY BETTER genre like Apocalypse of the Damned!” Jeremy was bouncing in his seat. Michael smiled at him.</p><p>“Deal!” They shook hands again and went back to the game they had been playing before the Atari incident.</p><p>~•~*<i>End</i>*~•~</p><p>Michael grits his teeth. He pulls out a mint-condition vintage game case and selects the game he’d been planning on giving Jeremy for his birthday before the squip, Apocalypse of the Damned 2. Jeremy and Michael hadn’t really liked Apocalypse of the Damned for a while, but they still played it because they thought the other did.</p><p>Michael grabs the Mountain Dew Red and opens it. He moves Jeremy’s hospital bed so that he’s sitting up enough to swallow. Michael opens Jeremy’s mouth and pours it in, shutting his mouth and tilting his head up so he’s forced to swallow. The drink goes down Jeremy’s throat and Michael feels a sharp pain in his head as Jeremy opens his eyes.</p><p>Jeremy's eyes open, his gaze locks on Michael's. His eyes show sorrow and remorse. Then the moment is broken by screams that echo down the corridor. Jeremy watches Michael cover his ears and tries to do the same but after such a long time asleep his arms didn't seem to want to move. All he achieves is wiggling his fingers slightly.</p><p>The screams grow louder and he realizes that he is screaming to. He feels a sharp pain in his head as if someone was pounding against his skull with a sledge hammer. He felt as if his skull was going to split in two.</p><p>Michael wakes up in a bed, a hospital bed, to be specific. His head is throbbing, but it’s not as bad as Jeremy’s. Michael never upgraded, so his squip deactivated easily. But Jeremy’s was linked to pretty much every neural passage.</p><p>Michael looked over his shoulder and saw Jeremy sitting up in his bed. “Jeremy!” he calls to him, unable to conceal the hope in his voice, is it finally over? Jeremy looks over at him with tears in his eyes.</p><p>"I-it's you!" Jeremy exclaims. His eyes looking at Michael in wonder, "they guy from my dreams"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Michael looked over his shoulder and saw Jeremy sitting up in his bed. “Jeremy!” he called. Jeremy looked over at him with tears in his eyes.<br/>
"I-it's you!" Jeremy exclaims. His eyes looking at Michael in wonder, "they guy from my dreams"</p><p>Michael looks at Jeremy like he has two heads because what, “Jeremy, what do you mean ‘guy from your dreams’?”</p><p>"Sorry that sounds weird. It's just I dream about you every night. I didn't think you were real.” Jeremy stops looking at the boy in front of him, "where are we?"</p><p>“we’re...we’re in the hospital. You took this glorified tic tac with a supercomputer in it and everyone in the United States was squipped until...” Michael checks his phone. He was only out for a few hours. “a few hours ago when I gave you mountain dew red.” He looks back at Jeremy, who is looking at him like a 3 year old listening to his mother tell a story. “Do you seriously not remember me?”</p><p>“Glorified tic tac? United States? What?" Jeremy looks at Michael with a mixture of confusion and disbelief, "Am I dreaming?"</p><p>Michael sighed. “No, you aren’t asleep. Just—“ he threw his journal of research at him, which contained details on everything that had happened since Jeremy got the squip. “read this. It should explain pretty much everything besides who I am.”</p><p>“Your name’s Michael right?”</p><p>“...yeah. I’m Michael.”</p><p>"There's a message for you." Jeremy squints at the paper, ”and it's in my handwriting. It says,<br/>
Dear Michael,<br/>
He doesn't remember you. He'll never remember you.<br/>
You know what to do."</p><p>Jeremy looks up, "That's creepy."</p><p>Michael looks at the message with wide eyes. He’ll never remember you. It doesn’t take a genius to know who wrote that message. Might as well just let him have the life that he wanted to have, right?</p><p>Michael grabs the journal and turns to walk toward the door. “I should get going,” he mumbles.</p><p>"Wait," Jeremy says to the retreating figure he didn’t know why but he didn’t want to let him go, "why don't I know you?"</p><p>Michael stops in his tracks. “The...the squip wiped your memory I guess. Something like that. It’s probably better that you don’t know me anyways.”</p><p>"N-no, I dreamt about you every night, surely that must mean something?" Jeremy looks at Michael with pleading eyes, "if the squip hurt you I want to help."</p><p>“...how could you have dreamt about me if your squip wiped your memory? Unless...” Michael walked back over to his hospital bed and pulled out his journal, paging through it. “Unless the squip wanted you to dream about me. Why would it have wanted you to dream about me if he was trying to get you to forget about me all of last year?”</p><p>"Maybe it was waiting for something?" Jeremy frowned; he was so used to knowing everything, being so confident he wasn’t used to not knowing what to do.</p><p>“But what could he have been waiting for?” Michael rubs his forehead and puts his face in his hands</p><p>"I don't know." Jeremy looks shocked at the words coming out if his mouth. "I-" he hangs his head in defeat. Tears slide down his face. Since he had woken up he had been so indecisive he hadn't known anything. He hadn't been helpful at all. He wished he could help Michael but he had no idea what was going on. Only the instinctive trust he had for him driving Jeremy to try and help.</p><p>Michael looks over at Jeremy and sees the tears running down his face. “Hey, Jeremy, it’s okay. You don’t have to know everything. You’ve been in a coma for a year. It’s okay not to know something.” Michael had an idea. “Okay, come with me. We’re going to 7/11.”</p><p>"what?" Jeremy is clearly freaking out. "A COMA" his breathing quickens, Jeremy could feel his palms get sweaty and he was pretty sure his face had gone red. "I thought I just banged my head or something."</p><p>“This isn’t good,” Michael mumbles. Okay, how do you calm Jeremy down usually? Well, I usually just tell him some random thing I saw on Discovery, but I haven’t really watched discovery recently. Michael gets an idea. “It’s okay Jeremy. Pretty much everyone in the United States had no free will up until today, so you didn’t miss much. That probably didn’t help. Sorry. Um, what if we just drive up to 7/11 and try to jog your memory? The squip couldn’t have actually damaged your brain. The worst it could have done was give you temporary amnesia.” That might not be accurate, but if it makes Jeremy calm down, it works.</p><p>Jeremy's breathing slows, the red on his face goes down, "you really think I'll remember?" He asks Michael his face hopeful.</p><p>“Based on all of the information I’ve gotten over the past year and a half, the odds are in your favor.”</p><p>Jeremy looks at Michael, he remembers the note and doubt creeps into his mind. He shakes his head trying to ignore it. Michael spent a year trying to get to him. He must be trustworthy, "ok then" he smiles, nothing like the expression the squip used.</p><p>Michael awkwardly taps his fingers against his notebook. “So, wanna go to 7/11? On the way there, I’ll fill you in on all of the stuff you forgot.”</p><p>"Yeah," Jeremy maneuvers himself off the bed. He takes a few steps before he feels dizzy and starts swaying.</p><p>Michael rushes over to Jeremy and helps him stay upright. “Careful, you haven’t stood up in a year!”</p><p>Jeremy just nods at him concentrating hard on moving. Michael's arms feel nice, comforting even. Jeremy puts an arm round Michael.</p><p>Michael looks at Jeremy’s arm around him. He missed Jeremy so much. Michael helps his friend to his car and assists him in getting in, “Now, the next important decision.”</p><p>Jeremy leans against the door panting for a moment. He feels pathetic, he's never been so weak before. He tries to hide it and says, "what decision?"</p><p>“Queen or Bob Marley?”</p><p>Jeremy pauses for a moment, it's been so long since he heard either of them, before it was just Eminem and electrical music. His hesitation was spelled out clearly on his face, "uhhh" he vaguely remembered Queen to be the superior one, "Queen?"</p><p>“Queen it is!” Michael opens the center console thing and sorts through his cassette tapes until he finds the one he’s looking for. A Night At The Opera. He puts it in and presses play. The song Death On Two Legs fills the slightly awkward silence previously surrounding the car.</p><p>"You said you would explain it?" Jeremy hates how indecisive he sounds. It doesn't make sense, before he was happy and confident. Now he's weak and indecisive.</p><p>Michael takes a deep breath. “We’ve been best friends since before I can remember. We never really had any other friends, but we always had each other. We would go to the roller skating rink and play video games and once I broke your Atari in seventh grade and I bought you three more because I felt so bad. We had this promise that whenever you make me sad you have to get me a cherry slushie and whenever I make you sad I have to get you a blue raspberry one. Whenever you made me extra sad you had to go to the 7/11 two towns over and get me the piña colada slushie that you can only find there, and whenever I made you extra sad I would have to go to that 7/11 and get you the cotton candy one. But, uh, then Rich Goranski, the dude who bullied you since sophomore year, told you about a squip. The thing you read about. And you got one so that you would have a chance with your crush...uh, Christine. Then you started ignoring me. You upgraded your squip and turned on optic nerve blocking so that you couldn’t see me. Then you were popular and still ignoring me and dating Brooke and...yeah. Then you finally came to your senses and you were so close to deactivating the squip but then it put you in a coma. And here we are.”</p><p>Jeremy sinks down in his seat, "I know who Christene is and Rith. Christine was my girlfriend and Rich was my closest friend. That didn't happen did it?" Jeremy looks up at Michael. He seems to be having difficulty concentrating on the road, "I'm not really popular am I? I'm more of a jerk."</p><p>Michael pulls over. He can’t drive and listen to his best friend on the verge of tears next to him. He turns to look at Jeremy. “You aren’t a jerk. Neither is Rich. The squip quite literally blocked the neural pathways that helped you determine right from wrong. It’s more difficult to do, so it could only block them in small bursts. I hacked my squip with this thing—“ Michael pulls his computer out from under his seat, “and blocked it from those neural pathways. I didn’t upgrade, so it couldn’t alter my memories. You, however, did upgrade. So did Rich. Christine and I were the only ones who didn’t upgrade out of everyone I’ve interacted with. I hacked her squip and mine to not be affected by the syncing code, up up down down left right A. It’s a variation of the Konami Code. Up up down down left right left right A B. It’s a cheat code for most older video games.”</p><p>Jeremy is silent for a moment, processing. "That's really smart. On instinct he leans over and hugs Michael. "I know I can't remember you but you're a good friend."</p><p>Michael is surprised by the sudden contact, but he hugs back tightly and puts his head on Jeremy’s shoulder. He feels a few tears slip out of his. Oh great, he’s crying in front of his friend who woke up from a coma and has hundreds of memories of stuff that never happened.</p><p>Jeremy hugs Michael tighter and realizes that they're both crying. He wants to remember. He wishes he understood but he can't. So he hugs Michael knowing that that's the only thing he can do.</p><p>They sit like that for a while, just crying and hugging, until Michael pulls away with a bright red face (that is definitely red because of crying). He awkwardly laughs and puts the car back in drive. “We should probably, uh, get the 7/11. Yeah.”</p><p>Jeremy instantly misses Michael and he reluctantly leans back into his seat as the car moves. He realizes that he's exhausted, he leans back into his chair and falls asleep.</p><p>As Michael pulls onto the highway, he notices Jeremy’s light snoring. He looks over and sees Jeremy curled into a little ball with his chin resting on his knees. Michael laughs a little and turns his attention back to the road as his face heats up. Now is not the time to be gay, Michael. He doesn’t even remember who you are. I doubt he even wants to be here, he thinks. He sighs and gets on the frontage road. Traffic from Edgewater to Woodstock was terrible. </p><p>After 2 hours and one bag of doritos, Michael arrived at the 7/11 with the piña colada and cotton candy slurpees. He went to wake Jeremy up, but thought otherwise. He locked the car and put the gas nozzle thing in the gas thing. Once it was filled up, he walked into the 7/11 and got Jeremy’s special slurpee along with a cherry one</p><p>~~<i>Jeremy's dream</i>~~</p><p>"Hello Jeremy," a voice says.</p><p>"keanu reeves?" Jeremy says, confused.</p><p>"No not exactly. I'm your squip."</p><p>"What are you doing here? Michael said-"</p><p>"Michael's a liar" the SQUIP dismisses.</p><p>"But he saved me."</p><p>"Did he really? Are you sure you're happier?" The SQUIP falls away and Jeremy dreams fitfully of his parents, fighting. Tears start rolling down a sleeping Jeremy's face.</p><p>~~<i>In 7/11</i>~~</p><p>
  <i>“You failed didn't you? Has Jeremy laughed yet? Does Jeremy have the girl of his dreams? Have you made him happy? You know how to make him happy Michael you know how to make both of you happy. He'll remember you this time, you can't make him remember without me.”</i></p><p>
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</p><p>Michael listens to the squip in his head and nearly drops the slushies he just bought. “He...he might not like me the way...the way I like him, but...we’re going to meet Christine later. I explained everything to her and...if she doesn’t wanna date Jeremy, she’ll still be his friend and that’s better than nothing, right?”</p><p>
  <i>Are you sure about that Michael? You would really force Christine into a relationship, friendship or otherwise, just to make Jeremy happy? What about Christine? Wouldn't knowing that upset her? Shouldn't she be given space to make her own choices?</i>
</p><p>“She said before that she wanted to at least try to be friends with him. If she changed her mind, she changed her mind,” Michael started walking over to the car and saw Jeremy opening his eyes.</p><p>The tears glisten on Jeremy's face as he opens his eyes. Remembering his dream he draws his legs into himself and hugs them. He let fresh tears spill, in the coma his parents were happy, still together. But that dream, it could be a memory. He brought his hands to his face and sobbed.</p><p>Michael gets in the car and sees Jeremy crying. “Jer? What’s wrong?”</p><p>"A-are my parents still together?" Jeremy asked between sobs.</p><p>Michael looked down. “Uh, they, well, got divorced a little before junior year.” He felt bad for having to tell him this, but he feels even worse when he sees Jeremy’s expression.</p><p>Jeremy looked like someone had killed a puppy in front of him. "They weren't before." He said sorrowful eyes locked on Michael</p><p>“What...what do you mean by before?” Michael was tempted to hug Jeremy again but he didn’t want to be pushy.</p><p>"Before I woke from the coma. It's all so different, I'm so different." Jeremy buries his head in his hands. "I'm so weak and pathetic and useless. I-i" a sob cuts Jeremy off.</p><p>“Jeremy, you’re not pathetic. You were just in a coma for a year, so of course it’s hard to walk. Those...those memories weren’t real. Rich bullied you until you were useful to him, then he pressured you into getting a squip. You are...you were my best friend. If you want to go back to pretending to be someone you’re not, go ahead. I’d rather you be happy than me. Just...don’t drink any Mountain Dew flavors besides red, okay?”</p><p>"Like like green?" Jeremy gives Michael a wobbly smile that disappears when he sees Michael's expression</p><p>“Yeah, don’t drink green. Or blue, or that new white one. Just...I know that for you, you just met me, but...trust me on this, okay? I don’t want you to get hurt. Again.” Michael looks at Jeremy with tears in his eyes, but he tries to smile. He doesn’t want to lose Jeremy a third time.</p><p>Jeremy breaks Michael's gaze. What had he done? He had done something and he couldn't even remember it. He couldn't apologize. The false memories came back to him. They felt sunny and sweet in contrast to this. This felt grey and awful. He liked Michael, he really did. He wanted Michael to be happy and maybe he could be with Jeremy both in a coma in which every would be paradise.<br/>
He thought of Christine and realised that she was here. Maybe she could help him understand what's going on, "Michael can we visit Christine? You said she hadn't agreed to upgrade, maybe she can help explain everything," Jeremy tries not to sound needy.</p><p>Michael looked over at Jeremy and gave him another fake smile, “that’s where we’re headed. I thought you’d take this a little better with...with someone you remember.”</p><p>Michael hands Jeremy a slushie and Jeremy notices his trembling fingers, "are you ok?" Jeremy asks, trying not to sound too concerned but failing. "Did something happen?" Jeremy looked at Michael with concern in his eyes. His hand, subconsciously, reaches out. He noiices and hangs there in mid air before dropping down</p><p>Michael avoids eye contact and takes a sip of his slushie. “It’s nothing. Just—y’know, I drove all the way out here to get you a slushie from a promise you don’t remember making.” Jeremy seemed to believe that. Michael pulled out of the 7/11 and got back on the highway.</p><p>Jeremy gazes out of the window, all my fault, he thinks. He's only been awake a few hours and already he's hurting people. He looks down at his slushie, he can't remember tasting one either. He wishes he could, "I want to remember," he whispers softly. Unaware that he had even spoken.</p><p>Michael looks over at him. Oh great, he’s been awake for a few hours and you’ve already made him cry twice and now he looks on the verge of tears. “I know you do. And you will. It’ll just take a little while.” Michael says as he gets off the highway.</p><p>Jeremy sighs but doesn't reply. What is there to say? Sorry I left you but I don't even remember it happening so I can't really be sorry for it. Or maybe it should be, sorry I can't remember anything about you. I probably agreed to that since it seems this squip thing needs permission before doing anything. The moving of the car and Queen eventually sends Jeremy to sleep.</p><p>Michael looked at the sleeping figure next to him. He really felt bad for not being able to help him. Maybe he could do something to jog his memory? He sighs. He’ll figure it out later.</p><p>Two hours and thirty minutes later, Michael pulls into Christine’s driveway. He tries to wake Jeremy up.</p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jeremy doesn't awake. He's in a deep sleep battling nightmares. "I-I'm sorry mom I d-didn't mean to" a young Jeremy stutters.

</p><p>His mom towers over him, "go away."

</p><p>"P-please, I'm sorry I'll never t-tell another secret again."

</p><p>His mom takes a step forward, "I said get out" she bellows. Jeremy runs out the room, crying.

~Skip to another dream~

His dad's crying, it's obvious he's had too much to drink. Jeremy is trying to shove a letter at him, one that he needs to sign. His dad doesn't respond.</p>
<p>
  <i>"Michael what are you doing? Jeremy's been in a coma for a year and he needs rest. Are you trying to make everything worse? You have made him cry on more than one occasion."<i> the squip decides now is a good time to annoy Michael.</i></i>

 At this precise moment Jeremy cries out, "Christine"

<i>"I don't think the real life Christine isn't going to help. He needs me, I can give him his memories back, I can make it better."</i></p>
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<p>Jeremy wakes up slowly, "what?"</p>
<p>“We’re at Christine’s,” Michael says. “Are you okay? You were mumbling something about your mom.”</p>
<p>Jeremy breaks away from Michael's concerned look, "I-I'm fine" he stutters and avoids Michael’s gaze, a sign he was lying but Jeremy didn't know that.<br/>
"Are you ok? I must have been asleep for a while." Jeremy tries to change the subject</p>
<p>“Me? Yeah, I’m fine.” Michael messes with a loose string on his hoodie sleeve. “You sure you’re good?” he says as he helps Jeremy walk to Christine’s door.</p>
<p>Jeremy is immediately aware of the contact between him and Michael. He wraps an arm around Michael's shoulders before answering. "Y-yes why wouldn't I-i be?" It's a stupid question. There are many reasons for him to not be ok but Jeremy wants to protect Michael from this. He doesn't want to hurt anyone else.</p>
<p>Michael looks at Jeremy. He’s basically holding onto him for dear life. Like he’d disappear any second. “Well, there are a lot of reasons you wouldn’t be okay. You can tell me anything. You know that, right?”</p>
<p>"Er," in truth Jeremy didn't know that, he didn't know what kind of relationship he has used to have with Michael. He knew Michael used to be his best friend but he was almost certain that it was nothing like the way Rich had been his best friend in his dream.</p>
<p>He's half way down Christine's driveway when his legs buckle and he looses grip on Michael.</p>
<p>“Jeremy!!!” Michael tries to catch him before he collapses. He kind of succeeds. He’s holding Jeremy’s underarms.</p>
<p>Jeremy sank miserably to the ground. It wasn't a long walk from the car to Christine's house. "Weak" he mutters.<br/>
Michael was shifting from foot to foot restlessly. Jeremy was just slowing things down. He wondered why Michael had bothered trying to save him. He was tired, he wanted to sleep again but he couldn't, he had to show Michael that he was worth saving.<br/>
Jeremy tried to get to his feet. His knees were grazed and blood trickled down his legs,  Jeremy ignored it and continued to try (and fail) to stand.</p>
<p>Michael did not want to suggest this, but Jeremy was in no condition to walk on his own. He looked off to the side and tried to ignore the blood rushing to his face. “Do you want me to carry you? you’re bleeding and you’re in no condition to try and walk on your own.”</p>
<p>Jeremy's heart sank as he saw Michael look away, probably in disappointment. He didn't want to accept his help but he didn't see any other way, "Sure," Jeremy said, his face already red from trying to stand.</p>
<p>Michael walks over to Jeremy and helps him up. He then lifts him into his arms bridal-style, which does not help with his bright red face. He continues to avoid eye contact as he walks to Christine’s door and knocks by kicking the door. It swings open to reveal Christine. She gasps when she sees Jeremy.</p>
<p>“Okay, did he wake up or did you kidnap him?” Christine asks.</p>
<p>“You really think I would kidnap a dude in a coma? He woke up. I’m carrying him because he collapsed in the driveway and I don’t want him getting hurt.”</p>
<p>Jeremy stares at Christine, speechless, she looks so different to how he remembers her, she's so much less carefree.</p>
<p>"Knock knock," Michael and Christine look over at the latter’s parents.</p>
<p>"hey Michael. Weird day we're having isn't it. Er who's that?" Christine's Papa points at Jeremy. "Is he ok?"</p>
<p>
  <i>In the coma she had straight parents. In the coma they loved me. In the coma Michael didn't exist.<i> Jeremy feels tears on his cheeks and he mentally curses himself for crying again. He doesn't want to be a burden because he's getting in everyone's way and now he's crying. Luckily Christine's Father's don't seem to have noticed."</i></i>
</p>
<p>“Oh, uh, this is Jeremy. He’s...um, it’s hard to explain.” Michael laughed a little to ease the tension. Christine’s parents seemed satisfied with his answer.<br/>
“Dad, Papa, I’m going to take Jeremy and Michael to my room,” Christine says as she practically drags Michael down the hall. Once they arrive in her room, Christine gets right to the point. “Jeremy, why do you look so confused? I thought you knew I had tw—“<br/>
“He has amnesia and he doesn’t have any idea who I am.” Michael sets Jeremy on Christine’s bed and digs through his backpack to find the first aid kit he stole from the hospital. “The squip did a bit more damage than we expected.”</p>
<p>Jeremy looks down. Words like failure and disappointment fill his mind. He closes his eyes and hopes neither Michael nor Christine sees him cry. There was too much going on. He wanted to say hi to Christine but she wasn't his Christine, not the one from the coma. This one looked at him in concern not adoration. This one looked years older, stressed from all the squip stuff. Jeremy hates the differences, he should have known it wasn't real.</p>
<p>Christine looks over at Jeremy and sees the tears staining her comforter. “Hey, Jeremy, what’s wrong? Well there’s a lot wrong right now but anything specific I mean,” Christine says as she puts a hand on Jeremy’s shoulder.<br/>
Michael watches from a distance. Jeremy doesn’t want him to help, not really. He was just being nice. Jeremy doesn’t want him, period. As a friend or anything.</p>
<p>Jeremy turns to Christine. Michael had dumped him on her and now it seemed was attempting to slowly leave.<br/>
"You're not Christine." He blurts out. <i>Stupid, stupid, stupid.<i> He thinks to himself. But he can't make himself say any more he's just staring at her. She can't be real. She just can't.</i></i></p>
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<p>Christine looks at Michael confused. Michael looks down. It’s his fault that his friend is like this. It’s his fault that his friend can’t remember this. If he had just talked him out of taking the squip, if he had just researched it before, if he had known it was the same thing that put his cousin in a mental hospital, then he could’ve stopped this. But he didn’t.<br/>
“The squip altered his memories,” Michael says. what he doesn’t say is that it’s all his fault.</p>
<p>"You just don't look like Christine from my memories. You look older..." Jeremy trails off looking at Michael for support but Michael isn't looking at him.</p>
<p>“You’ve been out for a year and my parents have been squipped since 5 months ago. It’s just...stress.” Christine looked to the side, at a picture of her and her dads from three years ago. They had gotten her tickets for Hamilton for her birthday and surprised her with them. </p>
<p>Michael was still standing by the door, running his fingers over the PacMan patch on his hoodie sleeve. Jeremy had gotten him that for his birthday. He had also gotten him the pride patch after he came out. I guess he doesn’t remember that either, huh?</p>
<p>"oh" Jeremy looks at his feet. "Sorry."  <i>All my fault, all my fault,<i> Jeremy repeated to himself. He risked another glance at Michael who was gazing at his hoodie, looking like he wished he could be anywhere else. Jeremy went back to looking at his feet.</i></i></p>
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<p>“There’s nothing to be sorry for, especially if you can’t remember what happened, Jeremy.” Christine squeezed his shoulder and walked over to Michael, whispering something in his ear. “I’m going to go get Jeremy some clothes to wear. Dad has a meeting and Papa is at the store, so I’ll be able to sneak into their room and get him something comfortable and not hospital-scented. Stop standing over here and being all depressed!”<br/>
Michael looked over at Jeremy for the first time in about half an hour. They made eye contact. Nope can’t do it he probably already hates me. Michael looked away and returned to fiddling with his patches</p>
<p>Jeremy looked down at himself. He was wearing a hospital gown. He blushed, they weren't exactly flattering. He glanced at Michael again who looked away instantly. Jeremy still felt fatigue pulling at the edge of his consciousness. He didn't want another nightmare/memory.<br/>
He watched Michael fiddle with his patches for a bit before standing up he needed to leave. He wobbled instantly but grabbed onto a shelf and using the shelves tried to drag himself to the door.</p>
<p>Michael sees Jeremy attempting to walk out of the room. Who could blame him? Nobody wants to be around you.<br/>
“Uh, where are you going? Christine should be back in a minute if you’re looking for her.”</p>
<p>Jeremy was panting heavily. He wanted to stop and answer Michael but he worried that using the energy to talk to him would make him lose concentration. His legs were barely working, buckling under every step. His arms shook from the effort of holding the shelves. The door was so close.</p>
<p>Jeremy reached out for another shelf but his legs had stopped working. He couldn't reach. He felt himself fall.</p>
<p>Right on top of Michael.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jeremy reached out for another shelf but his legs had stopped working. He couldn't reach. He felt himself fall.</p><p>Right on top of Michael.</p><p>Michael toppled over, Jeremy directly on top of him. Well, this isn’t ideal, he thought to himself. He felt his face turn bright red as Jeremy tried to lift himself up with his elbows. Oh great, even better. He was quite literally frozen in place. </p><p>Christine walked in and promptly backed out of the room when she saw the two. She was tempted to take a picture for blackmail material, but Jeremy did just get out of a coma. Just a little bit of mercy for him, then.</p><p>Jeremy felt his face go red. "I'm sorry." He attempted to get up again but his arms didn't want to help him and he slumped on Michael. "S-sorry I-i can't m-move" Jeremy's nerves were getting the better of him and all he wants to do is curl up into a ball and die.<br/>Michael was frozen under him, probably in shock. Jeremy couldn't really see his face, his vision had gone blurry. </p><p>Michael saw Jeremy’s eyes trying to stay open and getting unfocused and tried to get up without knocking him over. “Uh, Christine? Jeremy’s about to pass out and I’m kind of, uh, pinned underneath him.”</p><p>Christine walked in with Jeremy’s clothes. She set them down and picked Jeremy up like he weighed nothing. Given the fact that he was in a coma for a year, he was really, really, really light. She set him down on the bed and looked over at Michael, who was just standing up. “So why was Jeremy on top of you?”</p><p>Michael’s face went red. “He was, uh, he was trying to walk to the, uh, to the door and he fell on top of me and passed out.” </p><p>Christine looked between Michael and Jeremy. “Do you like him?”</p><p>“Wha—what?”</p><p>“Do. You. Like. Him?”</p><p>“Well of course I like him! He’s my best friend!” Christine gave him a look. “Okay fine maybe I do like him a little bit.”</p><p>"And he'll never like you back Michael. You disconnected him from the only life that he wanted to live. You deleted his chance at happiness" the squip says.</p><p>“uh, I’ll be right back. Where’s your bathroom?” Christine points him towards the bathroom and he walks over to it, closing and locking the door as soon as he gets in. He looks in the mirror.</p><p>“It isn’t his only chance at happiness. I don’t care if he likes me or not. I just need to get his memory back. Tell me how to do it or I’ll take the information out of you.” Michael threatens it.</p><p>The squip materialises, it still has Jeremy's face but this one looks healthy, "you can't. I lost them. The only way to retrieve them is activating Jeremy’s squip," The squip grins. "You're not going to win this Michael, sooner or later you're going to realise what's best for you and let me in."</p><p>Michael takes the half-empty Mountain Dew Red bottle from his backpack. Him and Christine are the only two that didn’t sync with the other squips, so they’re still on for the most part. He takes a sip and watches as the squip disappears with a shriek. Then he feels a sharp pain in his head and collapses.</p><p>"Jeremy, wake up." Jeremy groans. </p><p>"W-what?" He sees Christine's face smiling over him and for a moment he thinks that it was a dream and he never was in a coma. Then he notices where he is and he remembers what just happened. He covers his face, "oh no."</p><p>Christine looks concerned, "oh no what?"</p><p>"I fell on Michael, he's going to hate me. I can't believe I did something like that." Christine looks at him with a mixture of amusement and concern, "that's why you think?"</p><p>Jeremy nods.</p><p>"Well you're wrong. You and Michael used to be a team. When Michael was being bullied you stood up for him, I watched you and when the SQUIP took over your mind Michael worked tirelessly to get you back. It was him that convinced me not to upgrade.'</p><p>"But look at me now I'm a mess. I can barely walk and I can't even remember him. What can I do?"</p><p>Christine smiled, "play video games."</p><p>Jeremy frowns, "er, we do that?"</p><p>"Yeah you did it all the time. I'm sure once you start playing you'll remember."</p><p>Then a shriek comes from the bathroom and Jeremy struggles to sit up. Christine puts a calming hand on his shoulder, "I'll see what that's about."</p><p>Michael wakes up with a pounding headache. He’s in Christine’s bed. Christine is sitting at her desk, reading through Michael’s notes. Jeremy’s sitting in a beanbag chair in the corner.</p><p>"What happened?" Christine asked him. "Is there a reason you both keep fainting?"</p><p>Jeremy looks at Michael expectantly. He needs to know why Michael screamed. He wants to protect Michael. Then he realises that he can't. He's too weak.</p><p>“Christine, is your squip still on?” Michael tries to sit up but his head still hurts like heck.</p><p>“Uh, yeah. It’s because we weren’t synced up with the other squips, right?”</p><p>“Yeah. I just deactivated mine in the restroom because it was...y’know, being a squip.” Christine seemed to get the message. Michael reaches over to his backpack (with some difficulty) and grabs the now mostly empty Mountain Dew Red. He goes to toss it to Christine but decides against it. “We need one squip to use. Christine, are you willing to be a guinea pig?”</p><p>“Sure, but can I ask what for?”</p><p>“Well, I’ll need to hack into your squip. I’ll also need to use the deactivated squip that hasn’t left Jeremy’s system yet. Right now, it’s just deactivated.”</p><p>Jeremy let out a whimper, "what? You mean it's still inside me?" He knows he's freaking out but it's hard to stop. It put him in a coma. It was a nice coma but stil, Jeremy didn't want it anywhere near him.</p><p>Christine looks at Michael and mouths, "talk to him," Jeremy frowns. Hasn't Michel already spoken to him?</p><p>Christine leaves the room. Michael turns to Jeremy. “It’s not going to turn back on. It’s impossible. I hacked into my squip and blocked it from realizing that I knew it wouldn’t dissolve for a while. I know that because I gave your dad Mountain Dew Red a little while after he got a squip. Before he synced with everyone else. It was my last bottle for a while until I found this one.” He holds up the Mountain Dew Red. “But this will be a huge help in getting your memory back. For now...” Michael pulls Jeremy’s iPhone 5 out of his back pocket. Mr. Heere had wanted to suspend his plan until Jeremy woke up, but Michael offered to pay it. Just in case. “you can look through your old messages? I marked the messages that you sent while you were squipped by changing the profile picture of the person to a drawing of Shrek that you made in seventh grade.”</p><p>Jeremy looked through the phone laughing occasionally. "Why do you have to hack in?" He finally asks</p><p>“Well, the squip has certain things that the user can’t see or alter. The computer I showed you earlier has some illegal software downloaded that allows me to connect to the squip and access that information. I can’t just ask an evil tic tac to tell me how to deactivate it.”</p><p>Jeremy laughs at the squips nickname. Before turning serious, "I'm not sure I want my memories back. I don't know if I'll like who I was. I'm sorry by the way for being such a burden."</p><p>“You...don’t want your memories back?” Michael’s smile falters. He tries to hide his disappointment. See? He doesn’t want to remember you. He wishes you didn’t exist. Michael feels the doubts creep in</p><p>"I-i just can't get my head around what I d-did to you," Jeremy says getting upset, "what if t-there's something i-in there that m-makes me d-do it a-agin? What if it c-changes me?"</p><p>“Why would you do it again? You’ve got no squip. The only thing that would make you do that is you. It won’t change you.” You should just leave him alone. You don’t deserve him. You never have, and you never will. Just stop. Stop trying. Just leave and don’t come back. Just— “Don’t you want to remember your dad? Your Aunt Linda? Your cat?”</p><p>Jeremy blinks, "I have a cat?"</p><p>“Yeah! His name’s MJ. You still haven’t told me what it stands for. You promised you’d tell me on my eighteenth birthday.” Michael pulls out his phone and shows him a picture of MJ.</p><p>"Will I still remember my false memories?" Jeremy says, less upset at the mention of a cat but still fidgeting.</p><p>“Well, it depends. I’ll probably download all of the data from your squip tonight, alter it so that all of your memories are in place, and then put it back on your squip. We’ll need to put it on Christine’s squip and reactivate hers to do that, though. Then, once I’ve backed up the information, we’ll wait for your squip to dissolve and make sure you still have the memories. We can remove your fake memories if you want us to.”</p><p>"Please, I can't have both I keep remembering..." Jeremy trails off. "Are you sure you want me to get my memories back?"</p><p>“more than anything,” Michael mumbles. He realizes what he said and his face goes red. “I mean, uh,” he clears his throat. “Yeah.”</p><p>Jeremy relaxes a bit but the things he did remember, they weren't exactly nice. He doesn't know if he wants that. He knows he wants Michael but he doesn't know if he wants Michael in this world and not the coma one he was in.<br/>Then he realises something, "Michael I have to pee."</p><p>“Okay, I’ll, uh, help you get to the restroom.” Michael stands up and helps Jeremy to his feet.</p><p>The pile of clothes that Christene left out still lie on the side of the bed, Jeremy nods to them, "I'm probably going to need those."</p><p>Michael grabs the clothes and hands them to Jeremy. “Here you go!”</p><p>Jeremy holds the clothes, then starts swaying again. He drops the clothes and grabs Michael by the neck burying his face into his shoulder, "not again," he mumbles feeling dizzy.</p><p>“Hey, uh, you should lay down. You can change later.” Michael helps Jeremy sit down on the bed.</p><p>"I still need to pee." Jeremy says, looking extremely embarrassed.</p><p>Wow, you’re smart Michael! “oh, yeah, sorry. Here I’ll, uh, carry you.”</p><p>Jeremy feels himself once again being carried by Michael. He is most definitely blushing. This situation is not something he wants to happen. Not ever. He buries his face in Michael's hoodie trying to hide his embarrassment.</p><p>“We have arrived in the bathroom!” Michael says. His face is bright red.</p><p>"er can you carry me to the toilet and I'll tell you when I'm done." Jeremy feels so embarrassed, he wished he could disappear.</p><p>“Oh, uh, yeah. Sorry.” Michael carries him over to the toilet and sets him down: “I’ll just, uh, wait outside.”</p><p>Jeremy does his business and makes his way, unsteady to the sink. He leans against the baisen and washes his hands. Splashing some of the water on his face. Then he sways again violently and gripping the baisen he lowers himself to the floor<br/>"Michael," he calls, softly because he doesn't want Christine or her parents to hear what's going on.</p><p>Michael comes in and sees Jeremy on the floor. He rushes over and picks him up, carrying him back to Christine’s room and setting him down on the bed. “You’re probably dehydrated. Let me get you some water.” Michael leaves the room and returns with a glass of ice water and a straw. “Drink this.”</p><p>Jeremy sips it, eyeing the pile of clothes. "I still want to get dressed," he says, regretting it instantly. He sounded so needy, he should be able to function just fine in his hospital gown. Even if it was too thin and not at all comfortable.</p><p>Michael flushes bright red. “I mean, I don’t want you to collapse again so I could help you change I guess.” shut up dude what the heck was that.</p><p>"I didn't collapse this time, I was just tired." Jeremy doesn't answer Michael's question. He looks different to how he remembers and he's not sure he wants to find out what he looks like under the hospital gown. Let alone if Michael found out.</p><p>“Sorry. Yeah. Uh, if you want I’ll just leave while you change. Just, uh, stay next to the bed.”</p><p>"N-no I, it's just." Jeremy struggles for words, "I don't know what I look like under this."</p><p>“Well, you probably look like anyone would after being in a coma for a year.” Michael fiddles with his PacMan patch. “I’m not gonna judge you, y’know.”</p><p>Jeremy looks away, "just don't say anything about it, at all."</p><p>“I won’t,” Michael promises.</p><p>Jeremy gets to work removing the hospital gown whilst Michael picks up a T-shirt. Jeremy manages to get it halfway over his head before having to stop, panting. </p><p>Michael walks over and unties the string on the back of the hospital gown and takes it off of Jeremy. He pulls the shirt over Jeremy’s head. Dude why did you suggest this you’re literally going to have a mental breakdown after this</p><p>Jeremy lifts the shirt and stares at his ribs, too easy to make out, he runs a finger down them tracing the outline of his ribs. He felt too skinny, he drops the top and looks away quickly.</p><p>Michael puts Jeremy’s pants on him.</p><p>Jeremy blushes. And turns to thank Michael just to find out that he's blushing too.</p><p>"Sorry for making you do that," Jeremy says looking away.</p><p>“It’s good,” Michael says. He grabs the hospital gown. “I’m just gonna, uh, throw this away. It smells like a hospital.” He walks out and nearly runs into Christine.</p><p>“Everything okay?” Christine asks.</p><p>“Uh, yeah, I’m just gonna go to the restroom.” Michael walks into the bathroom and locks the door. He goes to the sink and splashes some water on his face.</p><p>Stop. Being. A. Wimp. Michael. Just go back and act like nothing happened. Like it’s that easy.</p><p>"Er, yeah" Jeremy responds to Christene.</p><p>"I see you're wearing the clothes I got you."</p><p>"Yeah, Michael helped me put them on."</p><p>Christine looks like she's about to say something but thinks better of it. "That was kind of him" she says instead.</p><p>"Christine can I ask you something?"</p><p>"Shoot,"</p><p>"What was I like before the whole SQUIP thing?"</p><p>Christine pauses a moment to think, "nice but shy, you were very shy. The only times I saw you coming out of your shell is when you were with Michael. Then you got the SQUIP and changed. You started dating Brooke and ignoring Michael, you acted so differently from you're usual self. The SQUIP is just a bully really."</p><p>Jeremy nods processing this information, "was I mean to you?"</p><p>"No you were nice, apparently I was your objective. You wanted to date me and I said no. Then the SQUIP went crazy and took over the school."</p><p>"Oh, I don't think I like you anymore, not in that way, you're so different from what I remember it's just, it's a bit weird." Jeremy says staring at his hands, they were too bony to be his.</p><p>"That's ok. I wasn't into you that way either. What about Michael?"</p><p>"What about him?" Jeremy blinks genuinely confused.<br/>"Oh, the SQUIP doesn't do gay. I mean now that you're not under the influence of the squip do you like Michael?'</p><p>"I have no idea. I've only known him for a few hours. I do trust him though. I know I can."</p><p>Christine smiles and nods knowingly.</p><p>Michael starts walking back to Christine’s room. He hears a little bit of their conversation.<br/>“I can trust him. I know I can,” Jeremy says. Is he talking about me? Michael walks into the room.</p><p>“Hey guys. Sorry for taking so long,” Michael says.</p><p>Jeremy freezes. How much did he hear? does he think I like him? Do I like him? He frowns realising that he didn’t know</p><p>“Uh, it’s getting late. Jeremy, do you want to sleep here or at my house? You probably shouldn’t sleep alone at your house because your dad is visiting some family.” Michael goes back to fidgeting with his hoodie.</p><p>"he's not here?" Jeremy tries and fails to hide his disappointment.</p><p>“He should be back tomorrow afternoon,” Michael says. Oh great, you made him sad again. Nice job.</p><p>"Who would I normally stay with?" Jeremy asks pretending that he's not alarmed that his dad's visiting family that he can't remember. Why isn't he there for him? What kind of relationship do they have?</p><p>“Well, you haven’t really ever been here,” Christine says. “We usually only talk at school.”<br/>“You came over to my house pretty much every day before the squip,” Michael mumbles. “So you’d usually stay with me.”</p><p>"I'll go with you then" says Jeremy, giving Michael a quick smile.</p><p>When Michael sees Jeremy’s smile, he almost forgets that he has no recollection of anything. He just looked so much more like himself just then. It was the first time Jeremy had actually smiled since before Michael could remember.<br/>“Uh, yeah. Cool. Here, I’ll, uh, help you up.”</p><p>"thanks," Jeremy says reaching out to Michael as he helps him up</p><p>“No problem.” Michael says goodbye to Christine, thanks her, grabs his stuff, and helps Jeremy get to his PT Cruiser. Once Jeremy’s in, he throws his stuff in the back and gets in. He starts the car and begins the route to his house.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jeremy leans against the window, gazing outside. This is reality. It's not as beautiful as the coma. Jeremy wonders why he wanted to stay here, then he looks at Michael, who is concentrating on the road like a good driver. He knows why he wants to stay here. He wants to know who Michael is and who he himself is. "Why did you wake me from the coma?" Jeremy asks, studying Michael's expression.</p><p>Michael glances over at Jeremy. “Because I...because you’re my best friend. You’re my favorite person. My player two. I just… can’t live without you. That and you still owe me thirty bucks,” Michael says. Jeremy doesn’t actually owe him thirty bucks. He just didn’t want to seem too clingy.</p><p>Jeremy frowns. His player two he could understand. He has seen a few messages with them referring to each other as player 1 and player 2 but there had been no reference to owing each other anything. . It had appeared they shared everything. It didn't matter. Maybe it was a joke. Michael's eyes flick towards Jeremy and then back to the road. </p><p>There were also a ton of messages from Michael that were left unopened, mostly from when Jeremy was ignoring him, he supposed. Some were random thoughts that had come to Michael’s mind while Jeremy was in the coma, like superficial things that he noticed that reminded him of Jeremy. There’s a whole paragraph about some vintage roller skates he saw in a shop window. His phone had about a hundred unopened messages from Michael before he looked through them earlier. Michael had kept texting Jeremy, even when he was in the coma. Jeremy’s voicemail is empty, but he doesn’t doubt that the squip somehow erased the voicemails Michael left. </p><p>"I'm sorry for whatever I did under the influence of the squip. I ignored all your messages. I'm almost surprised that you still consider us as friends." Jeremy looks at his hands, picking at the skin around his nails. "I don't deserve you."</p><p>“Have you seen me? Nobody deserves to get stuck with me. Honestly, I don’t blame you for ignoring me. I’m just...I’m glad I have you back.” Michael fake-smiles a little at him and looks back to the road.</p><p>"No, don't say that. You're really loyal, you've been looking after me since I woke up. All I've been is a burden. You've been amazing." Jeremy starts biting his nails.</p><p>“You haven’t been a burden at all, okay? I couldn’t be happier to have you back. Well, maybe if you suddenly remembered everything and there was one of those dramatic scenes like in that old show Shake it Up on the ‘Cece loses her memories’ episode.”</p><p>Jeremy laughs softly. “How long will it be until I get my memories back?"</p><p>“You’ll have them back by tomorrow night. I promise. And if I don’t keep that promise, you have permission to never talk to me again and revoke my cat picture privileges.” Michael turns onto his street and parks in his driveway. “Welcome home. Well, my home. By the way, you definitely don’t remember this, but my moms are gonna try to have a conversation with you. Just smile and nod. That’s what you’d usually do anyways.”</p><p>"Er, ok," Jeremy says. "Can I sit whilst they are talking to me? I really don't think I'm up to standing."</p><p>“Right. Yeah. Sorry. Let me help you out.” Michael grabbed his stuff and walked over to Jeremy’s side, helping him out.</p><p>Jeremy half smiles at Michael. "Can you just carry me? I keep collapsing and I don't want to do it again. Especially not in front of your moms."</p><p>“Yeah. Of course.” Michael picks up Jeremy and walks up the driveway. He opens his door and gets ready to be bombarded by his moms.</p><p>Jeremy tenses as the door opens mentally preparing himself for what's about to come.</p><p>"Hi Ina, hi Mom," Michael says in a fake-cheerful voice as he walks in.</p><p>"Hey." Jeremy mutters.</p><p>"Hello, Mich––why are you carrying Jeremy?" Michael's mom asks.</p><p>“It’s… a long story,” Michael says, trying to escape. Ina stops him.</p><p>“We have time,” Ina says, pouring herself another cup of coffee. </p><p>“Uh, Jeremy just woke up from a coma and has no memory of anything and he keeps falling over.” </p><p>Ina looks at him weird. “Sure, ok.”</p><p>Jeremy waves and nods, not exactly sure he's doing it right because he earns a weird look from Michael’s Ina.</p><p>"So did the hospital say anything about further checkups?" Ina asks, sipping her tea.</p><p>Michael looks off to the side. He makes a mental note to bring him back to the hospital after he has memories again. “Uh, yeah. In a few days.”</p><p>Jeremy looks at the floor, he doesn't want to go back to the hospital and he definitely doesn't want to go to the room he woke up in. He doesn’t think he can face that.</p><p>"So, Jeremy, what did they say when they discharged you from the hospital?" Ina asks.</p><p>Jeremy looks at Michael in absolute horror. He doesn't want to lie and even if he did, he doesn't know what they would say.</p><p>Michael looked at Jeremy and decided to try and save him. “Uh, he was really tired when he got discharged, so he probably doesn’t really remember much. They basically just said that he’ll need some physical therapy and probably an MRI or whatever it’s called to make sure his legs can heal.”</p><p>"That sounds,"  his Ina pauses, thinking, "plausible."</p><p>Jeremy gulps and looks down at the table. He had made Michael lie to his parents. </p><p>Michael's mom notices Jeremy's discomfort and changes the subject, "so, Jeremy, what was it like in the coma."</p><p>Jeremy wants to cry, again, but he doesn't. Instead he wonders what to say, he didn't want to say it was paradise but that had been what it was. Michael hadn't been there, though, and Rich hadn't been a perfect friend. He wasn't half as loyal as Michael. "It was lonely." </p><p>Michael's parents nod sympathetically and Jeremy lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He was glad to not have to lie and at the same time not tell the whole truth. </p><p>Michael notices Jeremy’s growing discomfort. “Uh, yeah. Anyways, we’re just gonna go to the basement. Bye.” Michael carries Jeremy down the stairs and sets him down on a bean bag. He then proceeds to collapse into his own bean bag.</p><p>"Thanks," Jeremy says.</p><p>“No problem,” Michael mumbles. “Sorry for them being so pushy.”</p><p>"No, they're probably used to me talking to them a bit more."</p><p>“Well, it’s not your fault that you literally thought they didn’t exist up until now.” Michael means for that to be funny but it just makes him remember that Jeremy can’t remember him.</p><p>Jeremy doesn't laugh, he looks anywhere but at Michael. "Did I come here often?"</p><p>“Well, when we weren’t at your house we were here. So, pretty much every other day you were here.”</p><p>"Oh," Jeremy looks around. None of it is familiar. He looks at Michael's collection of video games, "Christine said we used to play them all the time," he mentions, nodding at the games.</p><p>Michael laughs a little. “All the time is an understatement. We pretty much spent the week before junior year in here trying to beat that game.” Michael points out the game sitting on the floor—Apocalypse of the Damned. “Yeah, we never beat it.”</p><p>"Do you want to try again? I don't actually remember playing video games but maybe I'll remember when we start playing."</p><p>Michael smiles. It’s probably the first genuine smile he’s given in a really long time. “I would love to.” He grabs the game and puts it in his console. He turns on the TV and the console and the beginning credits of the game begin.</p><p>Jeremy stares at his controller. He can't remember ever holding one. He gazes at Michael and the way he holds his and hastens to correct himself</p><p>“Dude, do you want some help with that? You’re looking at the controller like it’s a math test.”</p><p>"I can't remember." Jeremy's frustrated with himself. Why can't he remember? This is muscle memory. He should be able to use it.</p><p>“Here, let me show you the controls.” Michael points out which button does what. “...and that one turns the console off. Don’t click it in the middle of a game.”</p><p>"Thanks. I'm sorry I don't know anything." Jeremy looks at the controller, slightly more confident.</p><p>“Don’t worry about it. Just try not to, like, kill me. I’m not a zombie.” Michael messed with his PacMan patch a little more.</p><p>"Sorry," Jeremy says again, wincing. He realizes that Michael's been playing with that patch a lot. "Hey, what's with that PacMan patch?"</p><p>“Oh. Uh, it’s nothing. Just…someone important to me gave it to me.”</p><p>Jeremy looks away, feeling jealous. He should remember who gave it to him. "Should we start?" He nods at the TV.</p><p>“Oh, right. Yeah.” Michael picks his controller up and starts the game.</p><p>Through a mixture of mashing buttons and hitting the joystick, Jeremy works out a strategy that seems to work. Until he strays too far from Michael's character and gets ambushed by zombies.</p><p>Jeremy dies. Well, I’m screwed. Michael waits for the zombies to dissipate and grabs Jeremy’s weapon because Jeremy always takes the better gun, even when he can’t remember it’s the better gun. He tries to get through the doors that you have to go through to beat the level but, of course, he fails. A large red GAME OVER mocks Michael as he groans and fights the urge to throw his controller across the room. Jeremy looks like he’s stifling a laugh.</p><p>“Oh, shut up, Heere,” Michael grumbles.</p><p>Jeremy giggles and it's almost like nothing had ever happened. Almost. He guesses that Heere is his nickname. He must die often enough for this to happen, but he doesn't know. Not really. </p><p>"Can I ask you a question?"</p><p>“Huh? Yeah, sure,” Michael responds.</p><p>"Why do I have a PacMan ghost tattoo?" Jeremy asks, deeming it having been long enough since Michael helped him change that Michael wouldn't make the connection.</p><p>“Oh, uh,” Michael rolls up the sleeve on his hoodie to show a tattoo of PacMan and three dots. He worriedly glances at Jeremy, who seems to be ignoring the burn scars and squip scars. They’re scattered everywhere except where his tattoo is. How lucky. “We have matching ones. The dots connect.”</p><p>"That's actually pretty cool." Jeremy looks at the floor, trying to hide his blush. If they liked each other enough that they would get matching tattoos they would definitely get through this.</p><p>“Yeah. We spent a full week arguing over who got the PacMan part of it.” Michael looks over at Jeremy and sees how red his face is. If he’s sick I swear to god— “Hey, you okay? Your face is all red.”</p><p>Jeremy freezes. Shit. He noticed. Jeremy looks up at Michael. "A-am I? I feel f-fine." That much is true. He doesn't remember feeling better since he woke up. He looks back at Michael’s arm and notices the patches of different scars. Some are large, irregular, pink patches of skin, while some are bizarrely-shaped matrix-y ones. “What happened?” he asks worriedly, looking at Michael with an alarmed expression.</p><p>Michael quickly withdraws his arm and pulls his sleeve down. “Nothing,” Michael answers, a hint of defensiveness in his tone. He’d rather not talk about it. He realizes how cold he sounded and attempts to change the subject. “Wait, you haven’t eaten anything today. Wanna order some pizza?” He pulls out his phone and opens the pizza app thing.</p><p>Jeremy frowns and draws back, blinking the tears from his eyes. He feels bad for being intrusive. It’s probably my fault, he thinks to himself. Once he processes what Michael asked, his frown deepens. He must remember pizza. Everyone has it. But he can't; all he can remember is healthy, well balanced foods and beer by the pool. Jeremy closes his eyes and focuses on breathing. He can do this. Ignore what happened before the question and focus on what Michael asked. That should be easy, right? It's just pizza.</p><p>“...Is that a yes or an ‘I’m in the middle of an existential crisis’?”</p><p>Jeremy tries a smile, he doesn't really feel hungry, just sick, probably from stress. "What do you want?" he asks, not opening his eyes. If the voices just shut up for one moment maybe he'll be able to order pizza without revealing he knows nothing about it.</p><p>“Uh, I usually just get plain cheese. Do you want any toppings?”</p><p>"Sure," Jeremy says, then curses himself. What do people usually have as toppings?</p><p>“They’ve, like, completely changed the toppings in the past year, so I’ll let you look at them.” Michael hands Jeremy his phone.</p><p>Jeremy breathes a sigh of relief as Michael hands him the phone. He scrolls through it, having no idea what he's looking for. One of the options is pineapple. Jeremy recognises the name. He's pretty sure he had it at a picnic once. Well, dreamt he had it at a picnic once. "Pineapple," Jeremy says looking up at Michael, hoping he said the correct thing.</p><p>“Okay!” Michael takes the phone back from Jeremy and adds it to the pizza. “I would ask about drinks, but all of the drinks now are Mountain Dew or sweet tea.”</p><p>Jeremy nods feeling totally out of his depth. "What should we have?"</p><p>“I’ll just go upstairs and get some normal soda. Sweet tea tastes weird and mountain dew is out of the question.” Michael clicks the order button. “Okay, it should be here in twenty minutes. Be right back.” He stands up and starts walking upstairs.</p><p>Jeremy watches Michael walk upstairs and he starts crying. He should know how Michael got those scars. And how can he not know about pizza? It's a popular meal. He searches his memories and can't find a single thing about pizza. He curses himself for being so awkward, replaying the conversation over and over in his head. First, he completely pushed Michael’s boundaries without a second thought, then he made ordering food awkward. Why am I so pathetic?</p><p>Michael goes to the refrigerator, grabbing a coke and a crystal pepsi. Then he walks back downstairs. “I got you some coke because that was your favorite soda before, even though Pepsi is better. I don’t know if you remember it, so—“ Michael sees Jeremy crying. He sets the sodas down on his beanbag and rushes over to him. “Jer? What’s wrong? What happened?”</p><p>Jeremy shies away from Michael. I can't do this. I can't live life without knowing. I need my memories back and I need them back now. I want to remember Michael. No, I need to remember him. I need to remember how he could’ve gotten those scars. The squip probably gave him the weird ones. The other ones were probably my fault too. I want to remember how to order pizza and play video games but I can't. I can't remember how. </p><p>“The scars weren’t your fault.” Michael doesn’t elaborate on that part. “And you will remember. First thing tomorrow, we’ll go over to Christine’s and take all of the information from your squip, sync it to Christine’s, download the information, edit it so that you have your memory back, and put it back on your squip. Then, you’ll remember everything. I promise.” Michael hugs Jeremy. He missed him so much and he finally has a chance to get him back. He isn’t going to let any glorified tic tac take that away.</p><p>Jeremy looks at Michael's arms around him. He had said all that outloud. It scares him a bit. He leans into Michael's embrace, wrapping his arms around his friend. "Could we play Apocalypse of the Damned again?" Jeremy asks, trying to lighten the mood, trying to hide his fear that none of this would succeed and he would be stuck without his memories forever. Jeremy realizes that he’s trembling, obviously not hiding the fear very well.</p><p>“Yeah. Sorry,” Michael looks away. My face is bright red, isn’t it? He picks up the sodas and hands one to Jeremy. Jeremy opens the soda and it explodes all over his face. Michael bursts into laughter.</p><p>Jeremy looks at the soda in shock. "You did that on purpose!" He accuses, grinning.</p><p>Michael grins back. “I wish I had, that would make this even funnier.”</p><p>Jeremy gasps in mock horror. "You would dare do that to me?"</p><p>“I’ve done it before and I will do it again.” Michael reaches over, grabs Jeremy’s now half-full soda, and splashes it onto him. Jeremy grabs Michael's soda, shakes it and opens it, pointing it at Michael's face. Michael gets doused in crystal pepsi. </p><p>“OH NO YOU DIDN’T!” He gets up and tackles Jeremy to the floor, which ends up in Jeremy spilling the rest of the pepsi on himself. Jeremy laughs as they roll around on the floor. They end up with Michael on top of him looking triumphant. Michael and Jeremy stay in that position for a good 10 seconds. </p><p>Oh crap. This is not good. Michael clears his throat, gets up, and offers Jeremy a hand. Jeremy's exhausted. Happy, but exhausted. He clings on to Michael's hand, hoping he won't pass out. Michael helps Jeremy back onto the soda-covered beanbag and sits back down on his beanbag. Then the doorbell rings. </p><p>Shit, I forgot about the pizza. “I’ll go get the pizza,” Michael says. He runs upstairs, nearly face planting twice, and opens the door.</p><p>“Uh, for Michael?” The pizza guy looks at him like he has two heads. Or, well, like he’s covered in crystal pepsi.</p><p>“Yeah. Here,” Michael takes a wad of cash out of his pocket. “That should cover the pizza and a tip.” The pizza dude hands him the box. Michael takes it, thanks him, and closes the door. He runs downstairs (somehow not dropping the box) and slams open the door to the basement. “Cheesy goodness is here!” Michael exclaims. </p><p>Jeremy visibly jumps. He watches in awe as Michael dumps a large box in the middle of the room and opens it. Half if the pizza is covered in pineapple, and the other just plain cheese. Jeremy's tiredness isn't enough to distract him from the large, glorious pizza in front of him. He reaches out to take a slice. Michael grabs a slice as well. Jeremy looks like he just got told that he had a twin or something. I don’t know. He’s staring at the pizza like it’s God. Who can blame him? Michael takes a bite of his pizza. <br/>Jeremy watches Michael dive in gleefully, he takes a slice and inspects it before putting it into his mouth. He immediately relaxes at the taste. It was delicious, like nothing he had ever tasted.</p><p>“Thith ith tho good,” Michael says, his mouth full of cheesy deliciousness. Jeremy nods making noises of agreement. It was amazing. He wolfs down the rest of his slice and starts on another. “Wow, maybe you were just so hungry you kept collapsing. You’re eating that like you haven’t eaten anything in a year—wait a minute.” </p><p>Jeremy takes a large bite of pizza and starts chewing, evidently thinking that's what Michael meant by wait.</p><p>“Have you, like, not consumed solid food in a year? How does a coma work? Like, do you not eat anything or do the doctors force-feed you?”</p><p>Jeremy looks at Michael, his mouth still full of food, "I don't know. I wasn't awake. All I remember is eating salads and that," Jeremy takes a big bite of pizza, "wasn't real."</p><p>Michael chokes on his pizza. “You had a dream about eating salad?”</p><p>Jeremy shrugs."I guess the squip wanted me to eat healthy, even if it wasn't real. I don't know why though. This is great." Jeremy finishes off his pizza slice at an alarming rate.</p><p>“Pizza is a blessing to this Earth,” Michael agrees. He finishes his first slice of pizza and realizes how much Jeremy has eaten. “Jeez dude! You ate, like, a quarter of the pizza in 5 minutes! Be careful!”</p><p>"I'm hungry!" Jeremy exclaims around a mouthful of food.</p><p>“No shit, dude.” Michael grabs a second slice of pizza and tries to eat it fast enough to get more but just ends up nearly choking.</p><p>"You alright?" Jeremy stops eating to look at Michael. Then he looks at the pizza. "You can have the rest if you want it." Jeremy wants but it would be rude to eat it all.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m fine,” Michael responds. “I’m not really that hungry.”</p><p>Jeremy continues wolfing down the pizza until only one slice remains. He looks at it and then at Michael.</p><p>Michael is still eating his second slice. “You can have it,” he says.</p><p>Jeremy wastes no time in finishing the last of the pizza. Then he watches Michael finish his slice, lying back in the beanbag. With his stomach full, there are no other needs to stop him falling asleep.</p><p>Michael looks over and sees Jeremy asleep on his beanbag. He grabs a blanket and drapes it over him, then goes upstairs to grab a few pillows and a blanket. He lays on the floor a little bit away from Jeremy. He falls asleep pretty quickly, given the fact that he hadn’t slept more than an hour or two of sleep every night since Jeremy got a squip. Before that, he usually got less than 6 hours thanks to his regular nightmares. He’s plunged into a recurring nightmare right as he drifts off.</p><p>Jeremy sleeps fitfully. He calls for Christine in his dreams; his Christine. Although his consciousness knows she was never real, his subconscious wants to explain why he left and why he's not coming back. Then, he dreams of Rich bullying him. Michael doesn’t appear in a single dream.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Michael wakes up around 8 am and hears Jeremy mumbling about Christine in his sleep. Figures. He’s not gonna like you, y’know. He decides to let Jeremy sleep and goes upstairs to make some breakfast.</p><p>Jeremy awakes feeling nauseous. Michael had disappeared, he looks around for something to throw up in and spots a trash can at the opposite side of the room.<br/>Jeremy sighs. He's not going to make it over there before he throws up.</p><p>Michael finishes making some eggs and bacon and puts them on a plate for Jeremy. He goes downstairs to try and wake Jeremy up, but he’s already awake. “Oh! Hey…You okay? You look kind of pale. Well, paler than usual.”</p><p>Jeremy's stumbling across the room. He doesn't trust himself to talk, so he just points to the trash can and tries to concentrate on walking. Michael goes towards Jeremy and helps him get to the trash can. Jeremy immediately starts throwing up.</p><p>Michael holds Jeremy’s hair back as he throws up. What else are you supposed to do when someone throws up? Jeremy’s hair got pretty long over the past year because he couldn’t really get a haircut while in a coma. Once Jeremy’s done throwing up, Michael picks up the trash can and throws it out the small window near the ceiling of the basement. It’s raining. Of course it is. </p><p>“Uh, I guess it isn’t a good idea to eat a whole pizza after being in a coma for a year,” Michael says. “Are you okay? Do you want some water or a little food?”</p><p>Jeremy shakes his head. The thought of digesting something makes him gag, "I'll be fine," he rasps, wincing. his throat hurt, "On second thoughts, maybe a drink?"</p><p>“Sure. I’ll help you get upstairs.” Michael picks up Jeremy and carries him upstairs. He sets him down on a chair and grabs some water from the fridge. </p><p>Jeremy holds his head. The room feels like it's spinning. Michael hands him the water and Jeremy sips it slowly. He gags a few times but manages to keep the water down. His long hair kept getting in his way. Every time he brushed it out of his face it would fall back into place.<br/>"I'm going to need to get changed." Jeremy announces. "I don't want to be wearing these all day” There’s sick on his shirt.</p><p>“Yeah, course. I think that I’ve still got a bunch of your clothes here. Because, like, you slept over here a lot. I’ll just, uh, go get the clothes.” Michael awkwardly leaves and goes to his room. He opens the third drawer on his dresser. The one with all of Jeremy’s clothes. He grabs a striped t-shirt, some underwear, and sweatpants. He digs a little deeper in the drawer and finds some of Jeremy’s shoes, socks, and his old navy cardigan. He puts all the stuff under his arm and walks back to the kitchen.</p><p>“Okay, I got you everything you’ll need. Including your old new balance shoes. I made fun of you for a month for these.” Michael puts Jeremy’s stuff on the couch in the living room.</p><p>"Is this all mine?" Jeremy asks looking from Michael, to the clothes and back again.</p><p>“Yeah. This is just the stuff that I found. I’d say you have sixty hoodies and a hundred shirts that have made their way into my closet.” Michael went back to fiddling with his patches. This time, he was messing with the pride one.</p><p>I must stay here a lot, Jeremy thinks. He looks at the clothes, "I'm gonna try to do this myself, but please stay near." Jeremy looks at Michael with pleading eyes.</p><p>“Sure. Let me just bring you to my room.” Michael helps Jeremy up and walks him over to his room. Jeremy looks around. There were signs of him everywhere, which was weird because he couldn't remember being here before.</p><p>"How close were we exactly?"</p><p>“Close enough that Rich thought we were dating,” Michael says. He had a few conversations with Rich while he was in the hospital. His squip was deactivated for a while, and he was actually really nice. “We were, uh, pretty much inseparable. I told you everything. You were the, uh,” Michael hesitates. Should I tell him? What am I saying, of course I should. “The first person I came out to.”</p><p>Jeremy nods. The idea that not everyone had to be hetrosexual was a new one to him, the squip had made sure of that, but that didn't mean that it didn't make sense. Everyone's parents seemed to be gay. Jeremy started laughing, sounding just a bit deranged.</p><p>“Jeremy are you okay?” Michael looks at Jeremy concerned. He’s doubled over with laughter.</p><p>"it's just the SQUIP didn't show anyone as gay but here," Jeremy laughs harder, "everyone's gay."</p><p>“Not everyone. But...yeah, a good majority.” Michael laughs a little as well. “And the squip is just an asshole. Not even Rich is straight.”</p><p>Jeremy grins. "I don't even know what I am.” He pauses, still laughing, and asks, "Do you know?"</p><p>“Well, you never really specified. All I know is that you had a huge crush on Christine. But it’s cool not to know!! It took me 6 years of very obviously liking a boy to realized I liked him and I thought I was straight for an even longer time because of it.”</p><p>"Who?" Jeremy asks curiously. He must have known this before; it looks like they shared everything.</p><p>Michael freezes. “Oh, uh, just some dude from a camp I went to. It wasn’t a big deal.”</p><p>Jeremy looks at him confusedly. “But you said 6 years."</p><p>Michael clears his throat. “Uh, I’m gonna let you get changed. I’ll be outside if you need me.” He leaves and stands outside the room. Nice going, Michael.</p><p>Jeremy watches Michael retreat, confused and a bit hurt. Maybe he had ruined Michael's relationship with that guy and Michael didn't want him to feel guilty. Jeremy looks at the pile of clothes. Better get started, he thinks.</p><p>Michael sits down on the floor outside the room. He pulls out his phone and scrolls through his messages with Jeremy. He misses this relationship with him. He misses when he could spend hours on end talking about random stuff with Jeremy. He misses his best friend. He absentmindedly scrolled to when Jeremy had just gotten his cat. Jeremy had come to Michael’s house with what looked like a duffel bag and scratches all over his face. When Michael had asked what had happened, Jeremy opened the bag to reveal a tiny calico kitten. Michael went to pick her up and she scratched him on the hand. He still has a scar. It somehow survived the burn marks and circuit scars. That gives Michael an idea.</p><p>Jeremy leans against the wall, panting. He managed to strip and get his underwear on but now he's way too exhausted to move. He wants to call Michael and ask him to help, but he doesn't want to bother him, especially after hurting his feelings before.</p><p>Michael heard a thunk from the door. “Jeremy? You need help?”</p><p>"Fuck." Jeremy mutters when he sees the door's locked. He knows he's about to pass out. Michael's gonna freak, Jeremy thinks. His vision is getting blurry and he tries to tell Michael that everything's okay, but all he manages to do is murmur, "Michael," Jeremy closes his eyes and lets himself fall to the floor.</p><p>“Jeremy?” Michael tries to open the door but it’s locked. He must’ve passed out again and locked it. Michael goes over to the storage closet down the hall and grabs a screwdriver. He puts the screwdriver in the little thing on the doorknob and turns it. Should be open now. He goes to open the door but he feels something blocking it. Well, at least he didn’t collapse on the floor. Michael pushes open the door just enough to get in. He closes the door and sees Jeremy sitting there in nothing but his underwear. His face goes red. Well now I’m glad Jeremy’s asleep. He picks Jeremy up and puts him on his bed. If we’re gonna do the squip thing, I need to get him to Christine’s by noon. He checks the analog clock on his bedside table. 10:23.</p><p>Jeremy's cold. It feels like the arctic. He remembers being locked out of the house. He can hear his parents arguing inside, but no matter how much he knocks, no one answers. He doesn't have a coat and his bare skin is exposed to the vicious wind. He sits outside his house crying.  Then the dream changes. His dad looks like he hasn't slept in weeks and Jeremy doesn't look much better. Neither of them are talking and Jeremy feels the loneliness engulf him. How can someone be so close yet feel a million worlds away? Is this what Michael felt like when he visited him in the coma? Like he was watching someone he cared about drift further away from him while he was paralyzed?</p><p>Michael waits about 15 minutes. When Jeremy doesn’t wake up, he decides to just get him changed, wake him up, and drive over to Christine’s. He wonders if the doctors are looking for Jeremy. Probably. He puts Jeremy’s shirt and pants on, then puts his cardigan on. He struggles to get Jeremy’s too-small shoes on his feet. They’re probably from freshman year. Michael then decides to try to wake Jeremy up. He shakes his friend’s shoulder lightly. </p><p>“Hey, Jeremy, wake up. Your dad might be home and we can see him before we drive to Christine’s. If your dad’s home, that means your cat’s home.”</p><p>"Wha––home?" Jeremy blinks at Michael, still tired despite having slept for hours.</p><p>“Yeah. Home. It’s,” Michael checks his clock again, “10:50 right now, so we have about 45 minutes at your house till we have to start driving to Christine’s. You live about a block away.” Michael helps Jeremy to his feet and starts walking him over to his car. “Then, once you remember everything, we’re going to bring you back to the hospital. It’s not really normal to randomly collapse after getting out of a coma. The squip did shock you a lot, so it could be nerve damage. Or maybe your muscles are just way too weak. I don’t know.”</p><p>"Er, ok," Jeremy mumbles, his dream still fresh in his mind, "Michael, why did my mom leave?"</p><p>“What?” Michael is slightly taken aback by the question. “Well, I don’t really know. She was never there when I came around to your house, and whenever you knew she was home, you would ask to come over to my house. The days that she was at your house and you weren’t planning on coming over, you would always show up at my window and sneak in.”</p><p>"She was in my dream. I keep dreaming about her," Jeremy whispers mournfully. "When I was in a coma, she was always there supporting me with my dad."</p><p>Michael frowned. “Maybe the coma showed you what you wanted the most. Like that mirror in Harry Potter with the very original name.” He fake-laughs a little. “Like, it showed you the life you wanted with...with everyone you wanted in it.”</p><p>"No!" Jeremy said quickly, then he remembered the dreams he had in the coma, "Well, maybe, but I want you in my life now. I don't want to go back, not without you."</p><p>Michael smiles a little. It’s as fake as Regina George. “Well, uh, let’s get going.” He starts the car and drives the short way to Jeremy’s house. “Welcome back to the Heere household, Heere.” Jeremy’s dad’s car is parked in the driveway.</p><p>Jeremy freezes when he sees his house he grabs Michael's hoodie,"No take me back. I've been here in my nightmares." Jeremy, in his blind terror, climbs closer to Michael.</p><p>“Don’t you wanna see your dad?” Michael put an arm around Jeremy.</p><p>"But," Jeremy falters, struggling to find reason. "I don't remember him. What if he's upset with me? I did almost end human civilization out of selfishness."</p><p>“He has no idea that it was you. Plus, it was technically Rich. He’s the one who gave you a squip. And burned down Jake’s house.” Michael stiffens at the thought of the Halloween party, but tries to hide it. “He won’t be mad at you. Your cat might try to murder you for being gone so long, though. Once I didn’t come to your house for a week and when I came over, she did this to me,” Michael says as he turns his hand over to reveal a cat scratch.</p><p>Jeremy smiles faintly at the mention of his cat and relaxes his grip in Michael's hoodie, seemingly not noticing Michael’s stiffness. "When was the last time you came to my house?"</p><p>“A week or so before you woke up. I was kind of taking care of MJ. Your dad really missed you. He visited you every day. Almost as much as I did.”</p><p>"Almost?" Jeremy doesn’t know what to think. Does that make Michael a good friend or his dad a bad parent?</p><p>Michael’s face goes a little red. “I spent pretty much every day in the hospital with you. Your dad would’ve visited more, but his new job has kept him really busy. He just got back from a business trip. He was staying with your aunt.”</p><p>"Okay," Jeremy says, reassured. "Wait, he knows I can't remember him, right?"</p><p>“He called me when he heard you disappeared from the hospital. I told him everything. Well, minus the fact that your hair is three times as long as it used to be.” Jeremy smiles a bit at that and, with Michael's help, climbed out of the car. Some of his hair falls into his eyes, but he can see fine and doesn't bother brushing it out. Michael and Jeremy walk up the driveway and Michael knocks on the door. </p><p>Mr. Heere opens it. “Jeremy?”</p><p>"Dad," Jeremy says, relieved to see him. He doesn’t look like his 'dad ' from when he was in a coma; he has less hair and shabbier clothes, but the love in the old man's eyes is stronger than anything he had seen in the coma. He throws himself at him for a hug.</p><p>“Hi Mr. Heere,” Michael says.</p><p>"Jeremy," Mr Heere whispers. After a moment, he wraps his arms around his son in a bear hug. "I missed you so much, even with the squip. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you before, but I'm here now if you need me." Mr Heere gazes at his son, "I can't believe I almost lost you."</p><p>Jeremy feels confused. What happened? Why is his dad apologising? He doesn't know how to respond. Michael is standing there awkwardly when MJ comes around a corner and runs straight at Michael. He jumps on him and nearly knocks him over.</p><p>"Michael told me about your amnesia. How much do you remember?" Mr Heere asks, holding his son at arms length, inspecting him. Jeremy is too skinny and too pale.</p><p>Jeremy, bites his lip as he was being inspected. He doesn’t know what to say, but his dad is just staring at him, waiting for an answer. "I remember what I dreamt in the coma as who people are. That's all." Jeremy awkwardly shifts from foot to foot. Mr Heere opens his mouth to speak, but he's interrupted by Michael cooing at MJ. Jeremy turns to see the most adorable sight imaginable. Michael hugging a cat.</p><p>MJ is latching onto Michael’s hoodie. He climbs up so that he’s resting on Michael’s arm. Mr. Heere is holding Jeremy up, so he has a free hand to pet the cat. “Aww, who’s a good boy? You are!”</p><p>I think we can knock straight off the list of possible sexualitites, Jeremy thinks to himself as he watches the adorable scene play out. His dad gives him a nudge towards Michael. "Go say hi to your cat," he whispers.</p><p>Jeremy walks over and the overexcited cat launches itself at him, knocking him over. Jeremy stares at the cat, he doesn't remember him but he wants to. MJ gazes back at him, silently saying, ‘Come with me, Jeremy, and all will be revealed.’ Then he scratches him.</p><p>Michael laughs. “Told you he’d do that.” MJ looks back at him, walks up to him, and scratches him on the leg. It’s like he’s saying, ‘Shut up Michael, he just got out of a coma.’</p><p>"He wants you to be nicer to me, Michael," Jeremy teases.</p><p>Mr Heere watches the two best friends and their cat with joy. He finally has Jeremy back. Maybe sometime in the near future, Jeremy would remember him and they would have to talk, but right now, they were all happy and safe. "Would you boys like to come in and grab yourselves a snack?"</p><p>“Oh, shut up Jeremy.” Michael teases back. “Sure, Mr. Heere.” He picks up MJ and helps Jeremy get into the house.</p><p>Once Michael and Jeremy are seated on the couch with a content MJ in between them, Mr Heere gets out some juice and biscuits, which is something that used to annoy Jeremy. Mr Heere then leaves to make sandwiches.</p><p>“So,” Michael says. “MJ seems excited to see you.”</p><p>"Yeah", Jeremy responds, an enthusiastic grin on his face. "He's so cute. I didn't realize he was going to be so adorable," Jeremy isn’t looking at MJ.</p><p>MJ moves onto Jeremy’s lap and puts his paw on his face. Then he scratches Jeremy again, like he’s saying, ‘That’s what you get for being gone a whole year.’</p><p>"I'm sorry I wasn't here for you," Jeremy says, now looking at MJ. The cat rubs his head against Jeremy. </p><p>How is this so adorable? Michael nearly chokes on the biscuit he’s eating. He checks his phone. 11:15. They’ll need to leave around 11:30. </p><p>“I’m going to go to the bathroom,” Michael says. He’s not going to the bathroom (wow, shocker). He’s going to Jeremy’s room. <br/>Michael hasn’t been in here since before Jeremy got the squip. It looks so...different. I guess the squip didn’t just change his appearance, huh? The posters that used to cover the navy blue walls are crammed into the corner of the room. The pictures of him and Jeremy on the walls are replaced with books and pictures of him and the friends he got with the squip. The ones that he dreamt about in the coma. The ones that made him happy. The ones that aren’t Michael. </p><p>He walks over to the one poster that was still on the wall. An Eminem one. He carefully peels the tape off the wall and removes the poster. There’s an area of the wall that was cut out, with a box about the size of his old oversized literature textbook in it. Jeremy’s dad had gotten really mad about them cutting a hole in the wall. The box is a time capsule that they promised they’d open when Michael turned 18. Michael’s a month younger than Jeremy and they both wanted to be eighteen when they opened it. He grabs the box, which is coated in a layer of dust. Makes sense, given the fact that it’s been in there since they were both twelve. He dusts off the box and puts it under his arm, walking back out to Jeremy.</p><p>Jeremy sits there, petting MJ and staring at the ceiling. It shouldn't look this unfamiliar. He wishes he could pretend that was the only thing on his mind. It wasn't. His newfound attraction to Michael was the main problem. "What should I do?" He asks MJ.<br/>He meows at him. "Maybe, but I was thinking more of keeping it to myself." <br/>MJ scratches him and wanders off to find treats.</p><p>Mr Heere bumps into Michael. He doesn't comment on the box; he doesn't know what it is and from his experiences with Michael, he doesn't really care. Not because he doesn't like him, but because it's normally some vintage thing that he doesn't understand. "How's Jeremy doing?" He asks, concern written over his face. "The amnesia can't be good for him, especially on top of him missing out on a whole year."</p><p>“He’s...fine, for now. We’re gonna have to leave soon because we’re going over to Christine’s. We think we have a way to get his memories back.” Michael moves the box so it isn’t under his arm.</p><p>"That's good," Mr Heere runs a hand through his nearly-nonexistent hair, "Just put in a good word for me when he remembers. I don't want him thinking I gave up on him after…" Mr Heere sighs. "Just put in a good word for me, ok?"</p><p>“I will, Mr. Heere.” Michael walks into the living room to see Jeremy fiddling with the end of his shirt. He slams the box down, which is surprisingly heavy considering that it is a shoebox, and Jeremy jumps. “Where’d MJ go?”</p><p>"Probably to find food. Where does he get fed?"</p><p>“In the kitchen. He’ll jump on the table and knock off the food if he can’t eat with you guys. It’s pretty entertaining.” Michael says. “Anyways, we’ve still got 5 minutes here. We made this time capsule when we were twelve. We were supposed to open it when I turned 18 because I’m like a month younger than you, but I think that you regaining your memories is a bigger milestone than my birthday.”</p><p>Jeremy looks at the shoebox. "That's cool," he says unenthusiastically. He has literally no idea what the time capsule is about. Maybe it'll be interesting, he thinks. <br/>“I was hoping I could visit my room before we go,” Jeremy says, more enthusiastically.</p><p>“Oh, yeah! Sure,” Michael says with fake enthusiasm. He had been hoping that Jeremy would be more interested in the time capsule, but he brushed the feeling off. “The posters you used to have up are in the corner of the room and I had to take down the Eminem poster you put up while you were squipped to get the time capsule. And I’m pretty sure all the pictures of us are in a drawer somewhere collecting dust.” Michael tries to make the last part sound funny but it just sounds depressing.</p><p>"Where is it?" Jeremy asks, less enthusiastic. Michael seemed fine about it, except the last bit. Maybe they could find the pictures.</p><p>“Uh, I’m not sure. The first time I’ve been in your room since the squip was just now when I got the time capsule.”</p><p>"Let's just go to my room and find them." Jeremy pauses. "Wait, I don't like Eminem?"</p><p>“Well, you didn’t. But you might now. You liked Queen and the Jackson 5 and older bands like those.”</p><p>This is something that needs to be investigated later. Right now, he has to find his room. "Can you help me get to my room then?"</p><p>“Yeah, sorry.” Michael helps Jeremy up and half-carries him to his room. Once they got there, Michael pulls out the swivel chair at his desk and lets Jeremy sit down.</p><p>Jeremy pushes the chair so it twirls around. "This looks familiar." He's happy to have found something that he recognizes. Maybe he’s a mixture of Jeremy in the coma and the Jeremy that played video games with Michael.</p><p>“That’s progress!” Michael opens one of Jeremy’s drawers and finds the dusty pictures of them together. “I found the pictures of us.”</p><p>Jeremy smiles. "Let me see!" He pushes his chair towards Michael and tries to grab the photos out of his hand.</p><p>Michael takes out the pictures one at a time and places them on the bed. The top one is them when they were 6. There’s one or more from every year they knew each other. The bottom one is one that Michael had completely forgotten about. The year that him and Jeremy had gone to pride together. Jeremy is hugging Michael. They have a gay pride flag wrapped around their shoulders. They had been 15 when they went. Michael had completely forgotten about the pictures. He remembers that Jeremy had gotten something from a store downtown and refused to show him, then later he had seen Jeremy putting a similar bag in their time capsule.</p><p>"Look at this one!" Jeremy exclaims, way too hyped up from recognizing something.<br/>He points to one with both of them standing next to each other grinning. Jeremy is missing a tooth and they both had cotton candy. Michael, who has pigtails in his hair and a pink dress on, has a pink one and Jeremy has a blue one. They look about 7.</p><p>Michael tries to keep his upbeat attitude. He’d been misgendered a lot thanks to the squip. The only person that had actually called him Michael in the past year was Christine. Seeing himself in a dress just makes him more depressed. “Oh yeah! We were at this carnival thing in New York. You lost this one really valuable Pokémon card that you found there and I spent like a hundred bucks on Etsy to get you a replacement. I think the card’s behind the picture in the frame.”</p><p>Jeremy, with the utmost care, takes the back off the frame. He doesn’t notice Michael’s distress. Just like Michael said, there’s a Pokémon card there. Jeremy blinks at it. It doesn’t look familiar; it’s just a rectangle to him. "It's… cool?"</p><p>“Well, I haven’t really played Pokémon since they changed the style from 8-bit, so it’s not the coolest thing you have. But it is worth $1,500 now.”</p><p>"That's a lot of money.” Jeremy’s already distracted. He looks under his bed and pulls out his backpack. "Boyf. Why would anyone write that? What does it even mean?"</p><p>Michael sighs. “Uh, give me a sec. I’m going to get something.” He jogs out to his car and grabs his backpack, which still has ‘riends’ written across it in sharpie. He walks back into Jeremy’s room and shows him his backpack. He looks away and feels the blush rise to his face.</p><p>"Did we do that?" Jeremy asks slowly, trying to process what was going on.</p><p>“Uh, no. Rich did.” Michael checks the time on his phone again. 11:45. “Uh, we should go to Christine’s now. If we want to get this done by today, we’ll need all the time we can get.” He helps Jeremy up and they start walking to his car.</p><p>"Why did Rich write that? Wait, is it because he ships us?" Jeremy tries to keep the enthusiasm out of his voice.</p><p>Michael awkwardly laughs. That isn’t the reaction he expected. “Yeah. But while he had the squip, he mostly just bullied us.” Michael helps Jeremy get in the car and goes over to his side. He throws his backpack in the back, gets in, and starts the vehicle. He pulls out of Jeremy’s driveway and starts driving to Christine’s.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Will it hurt?" Jeremy asks hesitantly. “Getting my memories back, I mean.”</p><p>“…Maybe. I’m going to sync your squip to Christine’s by using the version of the konami code specific to your squip. That should transfer all the stuff from your squip to hers. My squip’s konami code was up-up-down-down-left-right-right-A-B, but yours was up-up-down-down-left-right-A. Should be pretty easy. I mean, I unsynced Christine’s squip pretty easily. I should be able to sync it back.”</p><p>"You must have worked hard. What was it like? To be squipped, I mean." Jeremy's gazing out of the window. Just how much did Michael fight for me?</p><p>“Not as bad as it was for you and Rich. I had control over my squip. You guys didn’t, not really. But it…wasn’t pleasant, to say the least. Imagine all of the bad thoughts in your brain, the anxiety, the feeling that deep down you’ll never be good enough, all of the insults everyone has ever called you amplified. Instead of just thoughts, there’s a human—well, it looks like a human—confirming these thoughts. Someone that means a lot to you. Plus, the squips had pretty much everybody harass me when I went out. I’m surprised it didn’t end up killing me.” Michael takes a shaky breath and pulls into Christine’s driveway. “Uh, we’re here.” He grabs his computer and Mountain Dew Red, walking over to Jeremy’s side to help him get out.</p><p>Jeremy feels a coldness within him. "Are you sure it's a good idea to mess with it?" He wraps an arm around Michael's shoulders. He's getting better at walking but he likes the closeness.</p><p>“Don’t worry. We’ve done it before. The squip is deactivated, but the information in it still affects your brain. If we change the information, the worst thing that will happen is you become fluent in French.” Michael pauses. “Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. I may or may not be fluent in French now.”</p><p>"I don't think that's a skill I've ever needed." Jeremy smiles. They reach the door and Christene opens it before they can knock. "Rich is here. I tried to tell him to go away but he won't. He's just complaining about not being allowed to work as a doctor anymore."</p><p>“Who let Rich be a doctor in the first place?” Michael stifles a laugh. “Maybe he should actually spend the time in medical school this time. They just let him be a doctor after a few weeks of studying.”</p><p>Rich hears people talking and he goes to investigate. He sees Michael and Jeremy. “What's up assholes! You got my medical license revoked!” Rich grins. His lisp is prominent, but the editor of this fic is too lazy to write it in. He isn’t actually mad at them; he just wants to make sure he hadn’t hurt Jeremy. It was Rich that gave him a squip, after all.</p><p>Michael laughs. “Hey Rich.”</p><p>“Hey...Michael, right? Sorry, up until a few months ago I thought your name was––” Rich stops himself before he finishes that statement. “Antisocial Headphones Kid.”</p><p>Michael pauses. That’s the first time someone besides Mr. Heere, Christine, and Jeremy had called him Michael in a while. “Yeah. Michael.”</p><p>"Rich, it's time to leave," Christine cuts in, trying to get rid of the tension. Michael hasn't fully forgiven Rich for everything that had happened. </p><p>Rich spots Jeremy. "Tall-ass, you're awake!"</p><p>"I'm not that tall.” Jeremy awkwardly shifts, not making eye contact with Rich.</p><p>"I operated on you. I was very concerned for your life, but you were in good hands."</p><p>"Thanks.”</p><p> </p><p>"You were so helpless lying there. I felt like God." Rich carries on, ignoring Christine's zip-it gestures.</p><p>“Bye, Rich,” Michael says. He pretty much pulls Jeremy into Christine’s house. Christine shuts the door before Rich can come back in. </p><p>“We’ll talk to him later. Right now we need to focus on getting Jeremy back,” Christine says. Michael nods.</p><p>The three walk into Christine’s room and they immediately start working. Jeremy sits on a beanbag and Michael sits next to him. He pulls out his computer. Christine leans on the edge of her bed. </p><p>“Okay Jeremy, I’m going to need you to say ‘up up down down left right A’ once we make sure Christine isn’t able to move. Sorry Christine. We’ll have to, like, tie her up. Because we do not want a squipped Christine running around.” Michael digs through his backpack and pulls out some rope. Christine raises an eyebrow. “What? I was in boy scouts for, like, a few days. They told us to always carry around rope.”</p><p>Jeremy, still slightly traumatized from what Rich said, nods, "It is a bit weird that you carry rope on you," Jeremy delays.</p><p>“I know. I’m weird.” Michael starts tying a knot with the rope. He then puts it around Christine’s hands. He repeats that process with Christine’s legs. “There we go. And I don’t actually carry rope around with me. I grabbed some from the storage closet at my house.”</p><p>"Do I say what you want me to say now?"</p><p>“Yeah.” Michael opens his computer and gets ready to sync with Christine’s squip.</p><p>"Up up down down left right A." Jeremy yelps as a sharp pain shoots across his head.</p><p>Christine yelps too. Michael sees Christine’s squip pop up and syncs to it. He looks over at Jeremy. He looks like he passed out.</p><p>“Okay, guess I’m doing this on my own.” Michael does dramatic hacker stuff and goes to the squip’s previous commands. </p><p>“Jeremy Heere, welcome back.” The squip glitches into existence in front of him.</p><p>"N-no.” Jeremy backs up. He’s still in Christine’s room. Nothing looks different except for the squip.</p><p>The squip tilts its head. “What's wrong, Jeremy? Aren't you pleased to see me? Don't you miss being popular?”</p><p>"Why would I want that? Michael is the sweetest friend I could ever ask for, Christine's my friend, and I'm pretty sure Rich is too." Jeremy pauses, "I think."</p><p>The squip smiles condencencendingly. “No, Jeremy. They just feel sorry for you. It'll wear off eventually.”</p><p>"What about Michael?" Jeremy asks, defiant.</p><p>“Who's Michael?” The SQUIP asks. Michael disappears in a cloud of pixels.</p><p>"No! Michael!" Jeremy screams. Suddenly, he's alone in a white room. "You can't do this," he mutters. “You can’t do this.”</p><p>“Do what?”<br/>"You can't get rid of Michael." Jeremy is starting to freak out.</p><p>“But Jeremy, you don't know anyone called Michael.” The squip looks confused and worried, as if it's actually considering whether or not he's gone mad.</p><p>"I do and he's going to get my memories back."</p><p>The squip backs Jeremy into a corner, its cruel grin replaced with a mocking look of worry. “Jeremy, are you sure you're alright? You are speaking nonsense.”</p><p>"Michael," Jeremy sobs, "where are you?"</p><p>Michael sees Jeremy wake up. “Jeremy! I’m almost do—“ Jeremy started screaming Michael’s name. “Oh no. No no no no no no no. Just hold on Jeremy, I’ll block the squip from doing anything else. Just hold on.” Michael starts typing furiously on his computer, trying to cancel out the squip. Then he sees the new commands.</p><p>F O R G E T   M I C H A E L</p><p>He falters for a second. Is this what Jeremy wants? No, I made a promise. I promised Jeremy I would get him his memories back, no matter what. Michael continues to program against the squip. He manages to put a firewall on the commands. It’ll last him a good 10 minutes. He deletes all of the recent commands, along with the fake memories and the neural block on his real memories. Then he pours the mountain dew red into two cups.</p><p>Jeremy sees Michael and he sighs in relief. It’s going to be ok, he reassures himself silently. The squip has a better idea.</p><p>O P T I C   N E R V E   B L O C K I N G   O N </p><p>Michael disappears. Jeremy starts freaking out again. The squip smiles a cruel smile.</p><p>“I may have slipped last time, those dreams about Michael, I was recharging when you had those dreams but this time, I think I can do better.”</p><p>"N-no," Jeremy whimpers when the SQUIP materialises a bottle of mountain dew green. </p><p>“Drink up, Jeremy.”</p><p>"No I d-don't want to lose him." Jeremy says and kicks out, his leg goes through the SQUIP.</p><p>"Hello, Michael," Christine says, sounding suspiciously like her squip. She looks horrified. “She wants to say something. It's not nice." The horror of the situation dawn's on Christene when she sees Jeremy struggling against some invisible force. “My SQUIP says," Christine manages to get out, trying to lessen the blow. "You heard him. He doesn't want you to take the squip away. He wants to go back into a world of happiness, something that I can give him." Christine looks at Michael for a moment. "But, Michael, you have to get rid of it. Jeremy needs to know the real world. Not sit there in some fantasy dread slowly wasting away."</p><p>"No, don't. Please." Jeremy whimpers, extremely ill-timed.</p><p>"Check the firewall!" Christine yells.</p><p>Michael looks at the computer. His firewall is gone and the squip is replacing it. He quickly tries to dismantle the firewall. I’ve done it before, right? I should be able to do this. Michael manages to take down the squip’s firewall and starts building his own. He removes all of the squip’s recent commands and immediately gives Jeremy some Mountain Dew Red. This has to work.</p><p>The squip, in Jeremy's mind, had been trying to force him to drink mountain dew green. It lunges at him and shoves it into his mouth. "No!" Jeremy falls to the floor, crying. The squip is glitching in and out of view.</p><p>Jeremy falls to his knees. "No," he whispers before a sharp pain shoots across his skull and he loses consciousness. Christine screams for a few minutes before losing consciousness too.</p><p>Michael looks back at his bottle of Mountain Dew Red. He has just enough to give Jeremy. He gives some to Jeremy and sits back down on his beanbag. This has to work. If it doesn’t…</p><p> </p><p>“Well, fuck,” the SQUIP states, not even trying to fight it as the mountain dew red turns it off. Jeremy stares at the place the SQUIP had just been. </p><p>“What just happened?" He wondered, then he turned around. years worth of memories were built up, all waiting for him to explore them, this was going to take a while.</p><p> </p><p>Michael watches the once-struggling Jeremy relax. Please be alive. Michael looks over the programming one more time. He closes it just as Christine wakes up.</p><p>"Hey," Christine says; she had battled her squip many times and was used to it controlling her, trying to make Michael give up on Jeremy. It had never worked. It never would work. No one in the world could convince Michael that he should give up on Jeremy. Not even Jeremy. She spots said person on the ground. “Is he okay?"</p><p>“Yeah. He’s breathing. I think we should let him sleep for a little while,” Michael mutters. He tries to hide the fact that he’s scared. It doesn’t work. “Once he wakes up, we’ll bring him back to the hospital. Make sure he’s okay.”</p><p>"So, he has his memories back?" Christine asks. She's already happier now that the squip is gone. She's swinging her legs and humming. "Also, can you untie me?"</p><p>“Yeah. Right. Sorry.” Michael goes over to Christine and unties her. “Well, these were unnecessary. And yeah, he should have them back. There’s, like, a 99% chance he has them back.”</p><p>"And the other 1%?" Christine asks, raising an eyebrow.</p><p>“The other 1% is that he has the majority of his memories back. I erased all of the previous commands that had to do with the memory, but in the 5 seconds it took me to give him the mountain dew red, it could’ve added more commands. This is a learning computer we’re talking about. But my firewall most likely kept it out while I gave Jeremy the mountain dew.”</p><p>"If he doesn't have his memories, we are not trying that again," Christine says sternly, rubbing her wrists. "You're out of Mountain Dew Red and Jeremy is definitely traumatized." She glances at where Jeremy was supposed to be sleeping</p><p>“We won’t,” Michael notices Christine’s expression and looks over to Jeremy. He’s gone. “That’s not ideal.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jeremy is outside. He walked halfway, fell over, and started crawling. He feels bad for leaving Michael and Christine, but he can’t face them. He almost ended free will; he had removed choice from their daily lives and made the last year hell. He curls up into a ball and starts crying. </p><p>"Dude, are you alright?" Rich is leaning against Christine’s house.</p><p>Jeremy looks up at him. “What are you still doing here?"</p><p>"I was waiting for you to leave. I want to talk to Christine about Jake."</p><p>Jeremy shifts through his new memories. Ritch set fire to Jake's house. Jeremy winces when he realizes that he hadn't been much nicer to Michael.<br/>"You want me to drive you anywhere?" Ritch asked, looking concerned.</p><p>"Yeah," Jeremy nods. "Away."</p><p>Michael and Christine run outside. They can’t see Jeremy anywhere. </p><p>“Okay uh Michael you know Jeremy. Where would he go?” Christine is panicking. A lot.</p><p>“I mean, he just remembered everything he’d done. If I were him, I would run away too. But...where’d Rich go? I saw him standing out here just a little while ago. Oh.” Michael pulls out his phone and dials Rich’s number. It rings for a few seconds before Rich answers.</p><p>“Mi—“</p><p>“Rich, where’s Jeremy?”</p><p>"Uhh..." Rich looks at Jeremy, who shakes his head. He really can't face them. "I think he said he was going home."</p><p>“Rich, I know you’re lying. Put Jeremy on.” Michael tries to sound as intimidating as possible, which is pretty hard when you’re on the phone with your bully and your best friend just disappeared. His voice is shaky.</p><p>Jeremy shakes his head harder, Rich doesn't really understand the situation, but what he does know is that he owes Jeremy for getting him into this mess. He should never have listened to that dumb tic tac. "Sorry headphones, he’s not here."</p><p>“Rich. Put. Jeremy. On.” Michael is on the verge of tears. He can’t lose Jeremy again. “Now.”</p><p>Jeremy shrinks down in his seat. "One moment," Rich puts himself on mute. "Jeremy, what’s going on?"</p><p>"Nothing."</p><p>"Jeremy, please. If you don't tell me, I'll tell Michael you're here, which he already knows, but I'm sure there's a chance I could convince him otherwise."</p><p>Jeremy sighs. "The SQUIP removed my memories and replaced them with happier ones but in the process got rid of all memories of Michael. So Michael got them back. And now I don't want to face him. I ruined his life."</p><p>"I get that," Ritch empathizes, thinking about Jake, "but Michael sounds like he’s  going to start crying."</p><p>Please please please be okay Jeremy. I can’t lose you again. Michael’s ready to throw his phone on the ground. He can’t just wait. “Okay, Rich, if Jeremy’s there—which he is—put the phone on speaker. I just want to tell him something.” Michael hears Rich unmute himself and shuffle around. </p><p>“Okay, you’re on speaker.”</p><p>Michael takes a deep breath. “Jeremy, I’m not mad at you. I’m the one who didn’t stop you from getting a squip. I’m the one who didn’t do research before. I...I can’t lose you again. You’re my best friend. Just please...come back.” Michael hangs up. He doesn’t want to hear Jeremy’s response. He’ll just reject you all over again. He hates you. He finally remembered how much of a loser you are. He isn’t coming back.</p><p>Jeremy looks at Rich in horror as he shuffles about with the phone, almost driving into a lamppost. Driving must have been another thing the squip helped Ritch achieve. Then he hears Michael's voice. He sounds close to tears. Jeremy wants to start crying too.</p><p>"No, I'm sorry Michael, I just needed some time to process what was going on. I don't blame you," Jeremy starts rambling, then realises that Michael had already hung up.</p><p>"That's tough," Rich says. "I'm in the same boat, I brought the squip into the school, peer pressured you into taking it and burned down Jake's house. Well, the last one was actually my squip, but he doesn't know that."</p><p>"I called Michael a loser and my SQUIP was off." Jeremy starts to cry.</p><p>Rich looks awkward. "Look, I know it seems bad, but the squip had already brainwashed you. All you wanted to do was impress it when it later saw what you had done.”</p><p>"But––”</p><p>"No buts, Jeremy. Running from Michael is a bad idea. It's an idea you came up with and an idea that you will have to apologize for if you go through with it. Running will only make things worse."</p><p>"What about you and Jake?" </p><p>Rich stiffens. "What about me and Jake?" </p><p>"Are you going to talk to him?"</p><p>Rich thinks for a moment. "When I've figured out how to apologize."</p><p>"I don't know how to apologize." Jeremy retorts.</p><p>"Michael just said he isn't angry at you."</p><p>"He could be lying."</p><p>Rich considers this. "He could, but that's a weird thing to lie about." Jeremy doesn't answer and Rich looks over at him. Jeremy's passed out. "Oh shit, Heere." Ritch pulls over and fumbles with his phone calling Michael.</p><p>Michael’s phone starts ringing again. It’s Rich. He answers it.</p><p>“What?” Michael says.</p><p>“Tall-ass just passed out in my passenger seat.” Oh crap.</p><p>“Okay, uh, where are you?” Michael puts Rich on speaker and opens Google Maps.</p><p>“Uh, on Oak Street and 5th.” Michael types that into the app</p><p>“Okay, you’re close by. I’ll drive over there. Don’t. Go. Anywhere.” Michael hangs up and jumps in his car. Christine gets in the passenger seat. In 10 minutes, Michael’s on the streets that Rich had said. He gets out and runs up to Rich’s car. </p><p>“Rich, help me get Jeremy into my car.”</p><p>“Why couldn’t I have just driven him up to the hospital?” Rich asks exasperatedly.</p><p>“Because you sucked at driving even with a squip. Plus you’re an asshole.” </p><p>“Fair enough.” Rich and Michael pick Jeremy up and put him in the back of Michael’s PT Cruiser. Rich hops in the back with him. “It probably looks like we’re kidnapping him.”</p><p>“Who cares? We have to get him to the hospital.” Michael drives to the hospital as fast as possible without crashing. Rich drives behind them, wanting in on the action. About five cars honk their horns and twelve different people scream abuse at him from their cars. </p><p>"Michael slow down," Christine tries to sound soothing. "If we crash, we won't be much use to Jeremy."</p><p>“Fine.” Michael slows down a little. Only a little though. He arrives at the hospital in 10 minutes. He and Rich carry Jeremy into the ER.</p><p>The nurse at the desk notices Michael trying to sneak Jeremy in, "Excuse me, you have to check in here.”</p><p>“Uh, he wasn’t discharged.” Michael and Rich continue to carry Jeremy in.</p><p>"You still have to sign in." The nurse looks bored, "This has been happening all day. People have been running out, and for some reason more people are coming in. You're not special. Wait your turn."</p><p>"Yo Sam," Rich says, trying his hardest not to lisp. "I work here, remember? I'm going to deal with him and the paperwork, ok?"</p><p>"Sure. Fine. I’m too tired for this anyways." The nurse waves them on.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rich and Michael bring Jeremy into his old hospital room, which is thankfully empty. “Okay, so now what are we supposed to do?” Rich asks.</p><p>“I don’t know dude, you’re the one that works here,” Michael says. “So, like, do some doctor-y stuff or something.”</p><p>"I have no idea what I did. I don't even know why I was doing it." Rich pauses, thinking. "I'm sorry by the way, for bullying you and Tall-ass. I actually wanted to be your friend before I got a squip, but there was never really an opportunity to say hi. Then I got the squip and I was jealous of your friendship." Rich sighs. "I'm sorry."</p><p>Michael gives him a sympathetic look. “It’s okay. You’re actually pretty decent without a squip. Minus the fact that you cannot drive and offered to drive Jeremy somewhere.”</p><p>"He looked sad. I didn't know what to do. It's my fault he's in this mess anyway."</p><p>“It isn’t your fault. You were being manipulated by the squip. I can’t even count the number of times that I almost gave up because of it.” Michael starts messing with the sleeve of his hoodie.</p><p>"I'm glad you didn't. Things weren't going well."</p><p>Michael laughs a little. “‘Not going well’ is an understatement.” He looks back over at Jeremy, who stirs a little.</p><p>Jeremy awoke, the surroundings were familiar. Maybe all that stuff about Michael had been a dream. He lay there with his eyes closed.</p><p>"Wait, I remember this." Rich said, he put his hand in Jeremy's, purposefully  ignoring Michael. It doesn’t take a genius to know that Michael likes Jeremy.  "Jeremy, if you can hear me, squeeze my hand." Jeremy did.</p><p>Michael rushes over to Jeremy. “Are you okay? Rich called me and said you passed out and we drove you here and—sorry I’m rambling. Just—please tell me you’re okay.”</p><p>"That's not how you do it," Rich says, annoyed that he hadn't had a chance to show off what he learnt. "Hold his hand and ask him yes and no questions. He probably doesn't want to talk" Jeremy’s glad that Rich had deducted this, even if it was probably for the wrong reasons. He doesn't want to talk or open his eyes. He can’t bear facing Michael. Not ever.</p><p>“Oh, uh, yeah. Okay.” Michael takes Jeremy’s hand, his face red. “Um, if you have all of your memories back, squeeze my hand once. If not, uh, squeeze my hand twice?”</p><p>Jeremy squeezes Michael's hand twice, feeling stupid. He should just open his eyes and talk to Michael, tell him he's sorry but instead they're reduced to this.</p><p>Michael fake-smiles a little, trying to be reassuring. then he remembers Jeremy’s eyes are closed. “Uh, are you hurt? From the squip, I mean. Uh, squeeze once for no and twice for yes.”</p><p>Jeremy considers it. There's a slight stinging sensation on his back but other than that... He roles over and lifts up the back of his top, revealing tiny circuit shaped scars. He doesn't know that they're there but they are definitely there.</p><p>Michael looks at the scars. “I swear to god I’m going to kill that tic tac,” he mumbles, more to himself than anyone else.</p><p>Jeremy wants to ask but he still doesn't want to talk to Michael. He just lies there awkwardly. Then he starts crying, again.</p><p>Michael immediately hugs Jeremy. “It’s okay. deep breaths.” Jeremy cries on Michael’s shoulder. He pats Jeremy’s back and hugs him tighter, like he’ll disappear any second. Like he’ll forget everything again.</p><p>Jeremy hugs him back, he's going to have to talk soon and Michael did say he wasn't mad. "I'm sorry," he chokes out in between sobs, "I'm so so sorry."</p><p>“It’s okay Jeremy. I forgive you.” Michael buries his face in Jeremy’s shoulder. Jeremy’s now-shoulder-length hair is pulled back in a ponytail.</p><p>"Why, why do you forgive me. I was so" he sobs, "so awful to you, I can't forgive myself."</p><p>“because I care about you, Jeremy. You’re an amazing person. You made a mistake. That’s okay. We all make mistakes. Like the time I tried to reenact that scene from Frozen where Anna swings on the thing outside her window but I forgot to tie one end of the swing to my roof and I broke my elbow.” Michael laughs a little. “The point is, I forgive you. Because I love you and I know that you’re sorry.”</p><p>"Thank you, you waited for me, you saved me." Jeremy holds Michael at arms length looking him in the eyes, "I owe you."</p><p>“Yeah, of course you do. You never gave me that thirty bucks.” Michael grins.</p><p>"I don't owe you thirty bucks!" Jeremy exclaims, breaking out of the hug, he immediately regrets it.</p><p>“How do you know that you don’t owe me thirty bucks?” Michael smirks. “I mean, you did make me spill one of my crystal pepsi all over myself.”</p><p>"You threw the rest on me."</p><p>“fair enough.”</p><p>"wait," Jeremy shuffles through his memories, "do you have the time capsule?"</p><p>“Yeah! It’s right...” Michael shuffles through his backpack and pulls the box out. “Here!”</p><p>Jeremy looks at the box and back at Michael, "you can open it."</p><p>“Okay.” Michael takes off the weird makeshift lock thing and opens the box. Inside there are a few things. Two envelopes, one for Jeremy from Michael and one for Michael from Jeremy, and two bags. Michael remembers exactly what he put in his bag. “Do you wanna open your letter first? The one you wrote me, I mean. Like, we could read each other the letters or something, y’know?”</p><p>Jeremy looks at it, he doesn't deserve this, he doesn't deserve Michael being so nice, "that sounds cool," he says, he needs to be especially nice to Michael, he owes him so much.</p><p>Michael watches as Jeremy opens the letter. He’s really curious to see what’s in it.</p><p>"Hi, Michael,<br/>
I hope you got me that Pokémon card. Also I hope we play apocalypse of the damned as soon as we're old enough. I'm going to enjoy going to high school with you, a fresh start.<br/>
Questions for you, "is Jeremy Heere still your best friend?"</p><p>Michael smiles. “Indeed he is!”</p><p>"Is your favorite colour still red?"</p><p>“Yes it is!” Michael does jazz hands. Why? just cuz.</p><p>"Did you get that car?"</p><p>“I did indeed! And it’s only broken down 11 times in the past month!”</p><p>Jeremy laughs, "did you collect all the Pokémon like you said you were going to?"</p><p>“Well, I collected the original 200 Pokémon. And a few of the newer ones.”</p><p>"there's a ps, it's impossible I told you it's impossible and you said you would do it." Jeremy grins, "look like I was right on that one. Er, this one says who are you dating/have a crush on?" Jeremy was confused, they were kids, why were they asking such things?</p><p>Michael’s face went red. “Uh, a person. Next question?”</p><p>"You have to answer." Jeremy looks scandalized, "or else I won't answer your questions."</p><p>Michael takes a deep breath. “Uh, what if you try to guess?” Michael grins. He’s not gonna guess correct any time soon.</p><p>"Okay, so we're shelving that one for now, my memories aren't really in order yet, but they will be soon." He threatens.</p><p>“Okay. Uh, I’ll ask you a few questions and read my thing.” Michael opens his letter and pulls out the paper. </p><p>“‘Dear Jeremy,<br/>
If you’re reading this, you owe me thirty bucks.’ See, Jeremy? I told you! ‘Also, I’m writing this on your birthday. So happy birthday. Yeah. Anyways, here are some questions for the future you because past you bribed me into writing these. Question one: am I still your favorite person?’”</p><p>"Always," Jeremy grins</p><p>Michael grins back. “‘Question two: What’s your favorite band?’”</p><p>Jeremy looks confused, "I'm gong to have to listen to real music before I answer that."</p><p>“Okay, saving that one for later. Anyways... ‘Question three: do you still have a crush on Christine? If you don’t, who do you like?’”</p><p>"I don't think I do have a crush on Christine, not after my coma. I don't really know." That was true, Jeremy hadn't worked it out yet.</p><p>“So you don’t have a crush?” Michael asks. He tries to hide the disappointment in his voice</p><p>"I don't know, I still have lots to work through," Jeremy says, then he looks for something to distract Michael with, "there's still a bit of my letter left."</p><p>“Oh, what does it say?” Michael practically jumps up and down.</p><p>"Well it says don't read this unless Michael said that we're sill best friends. Then under it," Jeremy squints, "it says, Michael I love you, I'm so glad that we're friends, I'm so lucky to have someone like you in my life."</p><p>Michael’s face goes red. He smiles. “Aww, love you too Jer.” Michael scans his paper. “Okay, there’s one more question here. ‘How’s MJ?’”</p><p>"he seemed good last time I saw him."</p><p>Then they hear Rich's voice approaching them (he must have snuck out). "It's just like being God you know? Having control over life and death."</p><p>Rich walks in. “Hey! So I talked to a doctor and stuff and you’ve got about 20 minutes until they can come in. So you two can continue your weird unboxing video.” Rich is about to walk back out, but he stops at the door, "sorry Michael can you leave. I've got some medical stuff to go over with Jeremy, I'll give him right back. Promise."</p><p>“Ok,” Michael says. He walks out.</p><p>"That was easier than I expected. Right, er, well the good news is that we think your fainting is just normal, you're probably going to faint whenever you get overwhelmed. It's nothing to be worried about but people should know."</p><p>Jeremy blinks, Rich is using his doctor voice and it's a mixture of reassuring but stern. "And the bad news."</p><p>"You know there isn't actually any reason that I would need to operate on you? You were in a coma because of a squip it wasn't anything life threatening."</p><p>"So?" Jeremy asks.</p><p>"So I have a vague recollection of putting something in you. Probably a chip."</p><p>"What?!"</p><p>"I just wanted to tell you first in case you didn't want to tell Michael or anything."</p><p>"Do you think I should tell him?"</p><p>"I don't know he seems pretty stressed out. You both need a break."</p><p>"What does this chip do?"</p><p>"I don't know. It could be harmless, just something the squip was going to use later. Or a back up plan."</p><p>"That sounds, ominous."</p><p>"Yeah I know. Unrelated question, do you have a crush on Michael, no judgement, I'm totally bi."</p><p>"It's a possibility," Jeremy replies.</p><p>"Cool, tell me if you work it out  I'm going to go and quit my job before they realize that I'm unqualified and fire me."</p><p>Jeremy watches the retreating figure of Rich, he probably should tell Michael but then again it would upset him.</p><p>Michael sees Rich walk out and he walks back in. “So what was that about?”</p><p>"Er, his fainting." Rich says, obviously hiding something.</p><p>Michael thinks about it, but he doesn’t want to push. If Jeremy wants to tell him, he will. “Uh, we’ve still got to open those bag thingies. From the time capsule thing. Do you wanna go first or should I?”</p><p>Rich runs off. Jeremy looks shaken, 'Y-you go first," Jeremy stutters, obviously distressed but trying hard to hide it.</p><p>“Okay...are you okay Jeremy? You look kind of shaken.”</p><p>"Let's-just open the bags," Jeremy stutters, "I-I'll tell you after."</p><p>“Okay.” Michael opens his bag. There are 3 hoodie patches and two pictures. Each of the patches has a note on the back. He pulls out the top patch—a galaga ship. “‘Dear myself, Jeremy gave you the patches in here. You probably remember that. There’s a note on the back of all of these. Yeah.’” Michael grabs the second item: a picture of the two at a festival in New York; the same one that was in Jeremy’s drawer. He sets it down and pulls out the next patch, which is an 8-bit heart. It has a letter to Jeremy. “‘Dear Jeremy, you gave me this one for my birthday last year. I couldn’t find somewhere to put it on my hoodie, so I just saved it. And now it’s here. There are probably less patches on my hoodie, or maybe more, but I’ll find somewhere to put this one.’”</p><p>"that's cool," Jeremy momentarily forgets his bad news and smiles, "My turn."</p><p>Jeremy opens his bag, slowly and takes out a game controller plushie and player 1 and player 2 badges. He takes them out slowly and puts them on the bed in front of him.<br/>
He picks up the plushie, "hey I remember this from when we went to the fairground."</p><p>“Oh yeah!! That was fun.” Michael looks at the plushie and smiles.</p><p> </p><p>Jeremy hands Michael the player 1 badge. And puts on the player 2</p><p>Michael looks at the badge. “This is cool!!” He puts the badge on his hoodie.</p><p>They smile at each other for a moment. I really should tell him he thinks. Instead he says, "that's the bags done." Maybe he'll forget that I said I would tell him after we opened the bags.</p><p>Michael was about to ask Jeremy about the thing from earlier, but he looked like he didn’t want to talk about it. He changed the subject. “So, where’d you get these pins?”</p><p>"Uh," Jeremy shifts through his memories, "ages ago, we were at a comic con and you had wondered off for some reason and someone was selling them.</p><p>“Oh, cool!!! Was it the New York comic con?”</p><p>"Yeah, you wanted to try out a rainbow slushie and someone walked past selling these and I just had to get them."</p><p>Michael laughs. “That slushie did not taste as good as it looked.”</p><p>"Rich was telling me about the fainting, then he started talking about the surgery h-"</p><p>A doctor walks in, interrupting Jeremy, "Jeremy Heere?"</p><p>"That's me." Jeremy nods, he glances at Michael. He has to tell him it makes sense to tell him.</p><p>"These are your belongings," she shoves some paperwork at him, "fill this out you're free to leave." Then she spots Michael, "you can wait for him in the waiting room"</p><p>Michael gives Jeremy a comforting look and walks out. He sits in the waiting room and fidgets with his pride patch.</p><p>"Michael!" Christine skips over, "is Jeremy alright?"</p><p>“Yeah. He’s filling out some paperwork now.” Michael continues to fidget with his patches.</p><p>"But what did the doctors say? Is he going to be put on some kind of medication or something? What about the fainting?"</p><p>“Oh, uh, Jeremy didn’t tell me what the doctors said yet. He was about to, but then a doctor walked in.”</p><p>"And you're ok with that?" Christine starts tapping her foot to a rhythm only she can hear</p><p>“I mean, if he doesn’t want to tell me exactly what the doctor said, he doesn’t have to.”</p><p>"so he'll be out in a minute?" Christine asks.</p><p> </p><p>Meanwhile, "done," Jeremy says smiling at the doctor.</p><p>"Good,” the doctor looks through it, “it looks like you can go."</p><p>She walks out and Rich walks in holding some crutches. "I fucked up."</p><p>"I told Jake about the chip and he's going to tell Michael."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"I was apologizing and he asked if you had forgiven me."</p><p>"That's not a good reason."</p><p>"I know, I'm sorry."</p><p>“Yeah,” Michael says to Christine. Then he sees Jeremy walking out on crutches. He smiles at him.</p><p>"Hi Michael," Jeremy says.</p><p>“Hey Jeremy!” Michael says. “Did the doctor say anything about checkups and stuff?”</p><p>"Yeah, I have to come back in next week." Jeremy says.</p><p>"Oh look there's Jake." Rich says running off.</p><p>“Okay, cool,” Michael says. He watches Rich and Jake’s conversation. Jake keeps on looking over at him. Weird.</p><p>"Hey Christine," Rich yells and waves her over. No don't go over there please don't. Jeremy thinks.<br/>
"I'm being summoned," Christine grins and walks over.</p><p>"Hey can we go?" Jeremy asks, nervously, eyeing up Rich Christine and Jake.</p><p>“Oh, yeah. Sure.” Michael grabs Jeremy’s crutches and hands them to him.</p><p>Jeremy, with some difficulty, gets up and, as quickly as he can, makes his way out the hospital, "where's your car?"</p><p>Parked over there.” Michael points to his PT Cruiser. They both walk over to it. Michael helps Jeremy get in and then hops in the driver’s seat. He starts the car and begins to drive. “Do you want to go back to your house?”</p><p>Jeremy considers it, running through his memories, "no let's go to your place."</p><p>“Okay.” Michael turns onto the highway and drives back to his house, much slower than before. They get there in twenty minutes. </p><p>Michael helps Jeremy get out of the car. “So why’d you wanna leave as soon as Jake got there?”</p><p>"n-no reason. I-i jus-st wanted to g-get out the hospital"</p><p>Michael knows he’s lying but doesn’t press any further. If he’s lying, he has a good reason. “Okay. Well, let’s go in.” Michael walks up the driveway and hears Jeremy following behind him.</p><p>They get down to Michael's basement and Jeremy sinks into a beanbag, panting, he closes his eyes, tired from walking so far but he doesn't fall asleep. He should tell Michael what's wrong, Michael would probably fix it but he couldn't. He didn't want to freak him out and it was probably nothing.<br/>
Jeremy's phone rings, he looks at the caller ID, Rich.<br/>
Then Michael's phone rings, the caller ID said, Jake.</p><p>Michael answers, confused. “Uh, hey Jake. What’s up?”</p><p>"NO" Christine and Rich yell. "You can't tell him, Jeremy has to."</p><p>"He picked up the phone" Jake</p><p>"Shit" Rich and Christine say at once</p><p>"Tell him it's a prank call" Rich shouts.</p><p>"That wouldn't make any sense plus he can hear you," Jake rolls his eyes.</p><p>"I'm going over there, you two go home"  Rich orders.</p><p>"I'm not going anywhere." Jake stands his ground</p><p>"Look, I know this is a lot to process but I kinda owe Jeremy for making him take that tic tac anyway and if you're there he'll be overwhelmed."  Rich explains</p><p>"But I'm your boyfriend." Jake pouts</p><p>"Aw really" Christine squeals</p><p>“...What?” Michael frowns. “If you’re just calling me to yell in my ear, I’m gonna hang up dude.”</p><p>"Please just hang up." Rich pleads.</p><p>"Yeah let Jeremy tell him." Christine says.</p><p>"Shut the fuck up," Jeremy's voice comes through, he had answered Rich's call and could hear the whole thing. "Why can't you just stay out if it?"</p><p>"Sorry" Jake hangs up.</p><p>Jeremy looks enraged with his phone still to his ear listening to everyone's hurried apologies and attempts to convince him to tell Michael.</p><p>"I'll be there in about 15minutes" Rich finally says. "If you need to leave."<br/>
"Fine," Jeremy hangs up.</p><p>Michael laughs a little in an attempt to ease the tension. It doesn’t help. “What was that about?”</p><p>"Nothing." Jeremy says, defensively. Tell him he thinks, there's no point in hiding it. But then it would stress Michael out and from what Rich had told him it wasn't easily removed.</p><p>“Okay,” Michael says. He doesn’t want to be pushy. “So do you wanna play some video games?”</p><p>"sure," Jeremy sounds like he wants to do anything other than that. Just tell him. How bad could it be?</p><p>“Okay.” Michael turns on the console and grabs his controller. He opens a game of Among Us and hands Jeremy a controller.</p><p>They both get picked as the impostor and Jeremy snorts, "losers are a form of impostor I suppose," he means if as a joke but it's bitter, he's angry with himself for having the stupid chip inside him, he needs to tell Michael but he's too scared to and no one trusts him enough to let him figure it out on his own.</p><p>“Okay, let’s stay together. There’s a better chance of us winning if we can cover for each other.” Michael walks towards electrical. </p><p>"Good idea," Jeremy grumbles.</p><p>Michael walks into electrical and sees purple doing a task. He walks up to him and kills him. Green walks in just as he does it, so Jeremy kills him.</p><p>Michael cheers but Jeremy just looks sullen. He shuts the doors to electrical and vents out.</p><p>Michael wants to ask what’s wrong but he decides against it. Jeremy will tell him if he wants to. He goes to the reactor and sabotages the lights.</p><p>The dead bodies are found soon after.<br/>
"Red sus," green says. Michael is red and he hadn't been acting that sus, other than being the imposter.</p><p>"Green blaming people already," Jeremy retorts. He's blue.</p><p>"Skip for now," Pink says.</p><p>Pink gets ejected. Michael smiles and holds his hand up for a high five but Jeremy ignores him and heads for security.</p><p>Michael frowns. Why is Jeremy being so weird? Michael walks in security. There are four people in there. He walks into the small group that was formed, waits a few seconds, then kills green. Someone reports before he can.</p><p>“It’s teal”</p><p>“no way dude it’s definitely red”</p><p>“nah teal was being sus.”</p><p>They vote teal out. Jeremy apparently killed 1 other person while Michael was in security. There are 3 people left besides Michael and Jeremy. </p><p>Jeremy kills white in front of everyone and they win. He doesn't even smile. Jeremy's phone buzzes, he picks it up, grabs his crutches and leaves.</p><p>Rich waits outside Michael's house, he's definitely fucked up and he knows it. He sends Jeremy a text telling him that he's there. He'll try to talk to Michael later, apologize for how he's acting.</p><p>“Where are you going?” Michael asks.</p><p>"Home, don't worry I've got a ride." Jeremy tries to ignore the look on Michael's face. I need to tell him he thinks but he doesn't, he's too afraid.</p><p>Michael frowns. “Oh, uh, okay. See ya.” </p><p>As Jeremy leaves, Michael gets up and collapses onto the bed in the basement. He doesn’t have the energy to change, go up to his room, speak, or eat—he just tries to fall asleep. But apparently sleep had another idea. Why can’t insomnia just stop existing for a second?</p><p>"Have you told him?"</p><p>"Mind your own business." Jeremy snaps.</p><p>Sheesh Rich thinks, "where, are we going."</p><p>"To your place."</p><p>Rich freezes, "I would take you round but I don't think that's such a good idea." </p><p>"Can I just stay in here?"</p><p>"I guess."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>tw for panic attacks. Also please comment it motivates us to write more.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mr Heere paces about, worried. Where was Jeremy? He called Jeremy for a forth time, Jeremy ignores him, again. He calls Michael, hoping that he would get an answer. He had gotten a message from the hospital saying Jeremy had left but it gave no indication of how he was it if he had gotten his memories back. He needed to know how Jeremy was.</p><p>Michael lays on his back for a little while. Sleep does not come. He decides he should probably change. He still smells like a hospital and can’t breathe very well. He gets up, walks over to the box of old clothes in the corner of the room, and grabs a random shirt. He takes off his binder and replaces it with the shirt. Then he goes back over to his beanbag chairs and sits back down, opening a game of Overwatch. It’s been, like, over a year since I played this game. Wow.</p><p>Mr Heere sighs and calls Michael's parents. He needs to know where Jeremy is.</p><p>Michael is almost finished with his game when his Ina comes down the stairs. “Michael!! Wasn’t Jeremy here earlier?” Ina asks.</p><p>“Yeah, why?” Michael looks at her then turns his attention back to the game. He died.</p><p>“His father says he didn’t come home and he isn’t answering his phone, and neither were you.” </p><p>Michael drops his controller. “What? He said he had a ride home! Where did he go?”</p><p>“I don’t know! That’s why I asked you!”</p><p>"So," Rich says pulling into the parking lot.</p><p>"So what?" Jeremy says, defensive.</p><p>If Rich was honest with himself he was just a bit scared. Jeremy was acting so closed off. He had never acted this way before, depressed? sure, angry? It had happened. But he had never been this closed off. </p><p>"I'm just going to get us something to eat."</p><p>"Fine."</p><p>Rich got out and hid behind a corner and called Michael.<br/>
Michael had just gone to call Mr. Heere back when his phone started ringing. It was Rich. He answers. "Rich, now isn't really a good time."</p><p>"Michael, I've got Jeremy. I'm really sorry. I thought he just wanted a lift home and to yell at me but now we're sitting in a car park outside 7/11. He's saying he wants to stay here. He's acting really closed off." Rich sounds scared, "I don't know what to do, I probably shouldn't have called he wouldn't want me to worry you." He trails off.</p><p>Michael breathes out a sigh of relief. "Thanks Rich. Just, uh, his dad's really worried. Tell him to text his dad back. He doesn't have to talk to me if he doesn't want to." Michael gets up and starts pacing around his room, picking up random stuff and putting them where they belong. It's a habit.</p><p>"No Michael you don't understand, I know it's been hard but Jeremy's in a bad place. I don't know what to do. I'm afraid of what will happen if I leave him alone too long."</p><p>"Okay, uh, bring him here. Or to Christine's. Just...bring him somewhere that he can talk to someone."</p><p>"No, he doesn't want that, I wish I could bring him round mine but..." Rich trails off. "He'll probably run away if I try, he's angry I told Jake about.." Rich trails off again.</p><p>“About what?” Michael asks. He’s really worried about Jeremy.</p><p>"you know what. I'm going to keep my promise and not tell you. Ask Jake that way I get to keep my promise and you get to find out." Rich turns to see Jeremy behind him, "shit."</p><p>Rich hangs up. Michael finally spills over the edge. He curls into a ball and sobs. Jeremy doesn’t love you, he doesn’t trust you, he cares more about Rich than you. Just leave him alone. He’ll be better off without you. Just stop talking to him altogether. He’ll be glad that he doesn’t have to deal with you. He’s hated you since before the squip. Just give up.</p><p>Rich texts Jake behind his back, a skill the squip taught him. "Hey Jeremy."</p><p>"You called Michael." He accuses.</p><p>"Yes but only because I'm worried about you you're acting all closed off. Michael's your best<br/>
friend, stop pushing him away."</p><p>"Don't you think I can deal with my own shit?" Jeremy yells, swaying despite his crutches.</p><p>"We're in the car park at 7/11 planning on sleeping here," Rich gestures around. "No, that's not dealing with your shit that's running away from it."</p><p>Jeremy pauses, "still."</p><p>"I'm not going to help you ruin your life, get in my car and I'll drive you to your house or Michael's. Or you can stay here."<br/>
Jeremy turns away, he knows he's being stupid but the dark thoughts keep slipping in he's going to hurt Michael. Eventually he'll hurt Michael. This is for the best. He hurt his mom, he must have, she left. Then he hurt his dad, who had no choice but to stay. Now he's hurting Michael. "Go home Rich."</p><p>"Jeremy-"</p><p>"I SAID GO HOME," Jeremy yells. There's a chip inside me that the squip put in. My mum left my dad and I only remembered that this morning. I treated my best friend like shit even though I've finally realized that I like him. Jeremy wants to say this but instead he leaves, as fast as his crutches will carry him.</p><p>"Shit, shit, shit." Rich mutters.</p><p> </p><p>Michael's phone lights up with a text from Jake, When everyone was squipped Rich put a chip in Jeremy. Rich told him and  now he's freaking out.</p><p>Michael sits on the floor of the basement, rereading the text from Jake over and over again. The words started to blur. Michael realized he was crying again. *You failed. You couldn’t save Jeremy. You should’ve given him the mountain dew a year ago. His dad would’ve been able to get Mountain Dew Red once the hive mind was off. Because your squip didn’t let you. Whenever you tried, he made you throw the soda away. He didn’t care about Jeremy’s dad because he wasn’t connected to the other squips. Oh, right. That’s why. </p><p>Michael gets up, changes, and gets in his car. He knows exactly where Jeremy is. There are only a few 7/11’s within 30 minutes. He grabs his keys and walks to his car. Even if Jeremy doesn’t want to see me, I want to make sure he’s okay.</p><p>Jeremy sat next to some bins, crying. He couldn't do this anymore, he had hurt Rich. He had pushed him away, he had pushed Michael away and he didn't want to go home. Jeremy's vision went blurry, oh so now I pass out Jeremy thinks sarcastically before sliding to the floor.</p><p>Michael pulls up at the 7/11. He sees a figure sitting by a trash can—Jeremy. He runs over to him. He’s passed out. Michael picks him up, grabs the crutches, and brings him to his car. He puts Jeremy in the back and goes into the 7/11. He buys a slushie and some corn nuts before going back to the car and driving home.</p><p>Jeremy comes to and see's Michael driving them to his place. He can't do this. He'll hurt Michael. He can't. His breathing speeds up, heart slams against his ribs and his palms go sweaty. He starts opening the window, trying to let in some air. He can't do this he just can't, he'll hurt, he can't, tears start falling down his face. He can't breathe, he has to breathe, he can't.</p><p>Michael sees Jeremy wake up. He starts hyperventilating. There are tears running down his face. Michael gets off the highway and pulls over in an HEB parking lot. He gets out of the car, climbs in the back, and wraps his arms around Jeremy. If he remembers one thing about Jeremy’s panic attacks, it’s that he doesn’t want to be alone. Any sign that someone is there for him calms him down.</p><p> </p><p>Michael holds him and Jeremy's heart rate slows. He's still breathing too fast and the tears still fall but it's slowly getting better. "I can't, I can't, I can't," Jeremy subconsciously mutters between sobs.</p><p>“It’s okay Jeremy. Deep breaths. Follow me. Deep breath in—“ Michael takes a deep breath in and Jeremy follows, “deep breath out. In...out.” Michael keeps repeating that until Jeremy’s breathing is better.</p><p>Jeremy calms slightly and becomes capable of coherent thought.  "Fuck, I can't, I just." Michael hugs him tighter, waiting patiently, "I mean, it's just, I hurt everyone and the chip could make me hurt everyone again. I can't do that. And what if I hurt you all by myself, I hurt mom. I can't, I can't" Jeremy starts repeating again.</p><p>“You didn’t hurt your mom. She hurt you. You don’t hurt everyone. The squip does. We’ll figure out how to get that chip out of you. I promise.” Michael rubs circles on Jeremy’s back as he sobs into his shoulder.</p><p>The thoughts in Jeremy's head calms but he still feels uneasy, "what about when I called you a loser?"</p><p>Michael pauses. “I forgave you. It was the squip who manipulated you into doing that, okay? You apologized, I forgave you.”</p><p>"But you shouldn't forgive me, it was me not the squip, it was off."</p><p>“That doesn’t mean he didn’t have a part in that. He tricked you into thinking that he was good. He’s just a manipulative little toaster.”</p><p>"Yes but it was me, I said that from my own free will."</p><p>“But the squip manipulated you. You wouldn’t have said it if the squip had been a decent supercomputer. It isn’t your fault that the squip is an asshole.”<br/>
"be honest with yourself Michael, would anything make you hate me? Or would you always find some kind of excuse for the way I act?"</p><p>Michael smiles a little. “It’s literally impossible for me to hate you. You could step on the tail of my nonexistent dog and I’d buy you ice cream.”</p><p>"that's not a good thing! I could hurt you really badly and you would stay by me? That's not a good thing."</p><p>“Yeah, well, it’s not like I have anyone else to talk to. You’ve literally been my best friend since I was five. I can’t just hate you. I love you.” </p><p>"You really mean that?" Jeremy asks, hope blooming in his chest. He was fortunate that his face was already red from crying.</p><p>Michael’s smile becomes a bit more forced. “Uh, yeah. I do.” Here comes the rejection and the whole “Jeremy runs away because he’s disgusted by your existence” scene.</p><p>"I love you too." Jeremy says slowly, scared of what he's saying. What if Michael just meant it as a friend? What if he gets creeped out by Jeremy? He feels his heart beat faster, it's now or never. He leans in and kisses Michael.</p><p>Michael freezes for a second. Jeremy Heere is kissing you. What are you doing, idiot. Kiss him back. Michael kisses Jeremy back. Imagine that standard cliché thing in every cheesy romance movie where there are fireworks and stuff—that’s what happens.</p><p>Then Jeremy, suitably overwhelmed, passes out. His arms are still around Michael. His head falls on Michael's shoulder.</p><p>Michael smiles. He gets up and goes back to the driver’s seat. He gets back on the highway and continues to drive home. Once he gets to his house, he picks up Jeremy (along with his crutches) and carries him inside. His moms are asleep, so he doesn’t have to stop and explain why he’s smiling like an idiot. He carries Jeremy down to his basement and puts him on the bed with his crutches within arm’s reach. He jumped on a beanbag and opened a game of Among Us.</p><p>Jeremy dreams of kissing Michael and when he woke up he couldn't tell if he had just dreamt it, "Hey Michael,"</p><p>Michael is passed out on the beanbags. He made a little bed out of them. He wakes up when he hears Jeremy. “Hey Jer,” Michael says. Then he remembers what happened last night. His face goes red.</p><p>"So what happened after I asked you if anything would make you hate me?" Jeremy's blushing but he has to make sure it wasn't a dream.</p><p>Michael’s face gets redder, if that’s even possible. “We, uh, we—we kissed,” Michael says. he’s about to take it all back isn’t he</p><p>"So that wasn't a dream." Jeremy wonders, out loud. He wonders briefly about round two but realizes that his crutches are halfway across the room and Michael is even further.</p><p>“Uh, no it wasn’t.” Michael notices Jeremy looking at his crutches and grabs them. He brings the crutches to Jeremy.</p><p>Jeremy grabs him by the front of his hoodie and kisses him again. Michael immediately kisses back. He wraps his arms around Jeremy. He runs his fingers through Michael's hair, admiring how soft it was. The kiss lasts a little while longer. Michael pulls away first.</p><p>Jeremy pulls him into a hug. "What do we do now?"</p><p>“I don’t know,” Michael says. “But I need to take a shower.”</p><p>Jeremy looks at Michael. Then he looks at the crutches he sighs, "put on among us, I'll play it whilst you shower."</p><p>Michael walks over to the tv, turns on the console, and opens Among Us. He hands Jeremy the remote. “If you’re the impostor, kill in the reactor. Nobody ever goes in there besides for tasks and there is a good chance that only one person will get a task in the reactor.” Michael grabs some clothes and walks into the bathroom.</p><p>"Thanks," Jeremy says and customizes his guy to be blue and wearing a yellow sign. He turns out to be a crewmate and he has a job in the reactor.</p><p>Michael takes off his binder and clothes. Ow, why did I sleep in my binder? He showers. He gets out and puts on a t-shirt and some shorts. He decides not to put on his binder because he wore it for, like, all day yesterday.</p><p>Jeremy gets killed first. "Micha" he yells, "I think I'm gonna need to take a bath."</p><p>Michael watches as Jeremy’s body gets found by white. Red is still standing over the body. They’re in security. “Okay, uh, do you need help getting to the bathroom?”</p><p>An emergency meeting is called and red gets ejected, he wasn't the impostor he was just busy with the cameras. Jeremy sighs at the screen.<br/>
"Yeah, can you help me run a bubble bath?"</p><p>“Yeah, sure!” Michael walks back into the bathroom and starts a bath. Jeremy comes in once the tub is half-full</p><p>"thanks." Jeremy smiles sheepishly. "Uh, I need to get changed," he says to Michael. Trying hard not to blush, he fails.</p><p>“Right. Yeah.” Michael walks out and closes the door. He goes over to his beanbag and starts a game of Among Us. He’s one of the impostors. </p><p>He kills blue in security just as white walks in. He gets voted off.</p><p>Jeremy changes quickly and eases himself into the bath, turning off the tap. He sighs, content. The bath was just the right temperature. He relaxes and starts cleaning himself. Then he notices the circuit shaped scars littering his body, they would be easily hidden by a short sleeved top bit that covered his chest and his stomach. One went across his pac man ghost tattoo, completely ruining it. Jeremy gets out quickly, doesn't bother drying himself and gets dressed. "Michael." He yells.</p><p>“Yeah Jeremy?” Michael exits the game and walks over to the door of the bathroom, still trying to figure out how he got caught. I checked the cameras! Oh, I bet white came from the reactor. They had just voted out the other impostor when I left, so white probably saw them vent in.</p><p>Jeremy walks out of the room, soaking wet, takes off his top and collapses on a beanbag.</p><p>“Dude, what happened to you?” Michael asks, concerned. “Did the—did the squip do that?”</p><p>Jeremy flops on the beanbags, already exhausted from the short walk and overly emotional, "I don't know, I only noticed it just now. What do we do? I can't look like this forever." He holds up the arm that had had the ghost tattoo on it. The tattoo had been completely incorporated into the circuit and no longer looked anything like its original design, "it ruined my tattoo, I bet it did it on purpose the glorified good for nothing tic tac.” It's like it marked me on purpose.</p><p>“What if we fix it? My cousin works at a tattoo parlor, I bet he’d do it for free if I promise to get him out of the next family reunion.” Michael looks at the scars. “And the scars aren’t bad. You’re still, y’know, you.”</p><p>"I just feel branded, it didn't scar anyone like this else, just me. No one else has a chip in them but I do." Jeremy sighs, "it wants me to remember who I belong to. I just want things to be over, no sci-fi computers reminding me that I'll never act correctly."</p><p>“You don’t belong to anyone. We’ll figure out how to get rid of the chip and we’ll figure out how to get rid of your scars. I promise.” Michael hugs Jeremy.</p><p>Jeremy hugs him back, crying. He doesn't want to but he's exhausted, emotionally and physically. "Love you." He whispers in Michael's ear.</p><p>“I love you too,” Michael says. Jeremy falls asleep on his shoulder after a few minutes. Michael picks him up and carries him back over to his bed. He puts the comforter over Jeremy, kisses his forehead, and goes back over to the beanbags. He falls onto them and joins a game of Among Us. He’s the impostor. He goes to security and sees white. He checks the cams and nobody’s coming, so he kills white. Green walks in just as he commits the murder. So much for cameras being helpful.</p><p>Rich calls Michael. He bites his nails, stressed out from the events of last night.</p><p>Michael’s phone starts ringing. It’s Rich. He answers. “Hello?”</p><p>"Is Jeremy ok? What am I even asking, he won't be ok he was so down last night." Rich trails off. Jake makes soothing noises in the background. Noises that sound suspiciously like, "he's not your responsibility," and, "you did the right thing." </p><p>Michael glances at Jeremy's sleeping form. Jeremy's long wet hair framed his face and some of it was plastered to it. His lips were slightly open and his face looked calmer than Michael had ever seen it.</p><p>“Jeremy’s asleep right now,” Michael says. “He’s still kind of down.”<br/>
Michael tries to hide the anger in his voice. Rich just left him passed out by some trash cans. Who does that?</p><p>"Was he ok when you found him? Did he try and run?" Rich asks, sounding probing and judgemental.</p><p>“He was passed out by some trash cans with a tear stained face.” Michael wants to yell at Rich for leaving him like that, but he doesn’t.</p><p>"He said he was leaving," Rich sounds disbelieving. "He didn't sound faint."</p><p>“Well, he didn’t leave,” Michael snaps. “Why would you just leave him there? You know that he keeps fainting. And he’s on crutches! What if something happened to him?”</p><p>"But nothing did." Rich snaps back. He was annoyed. Jeremy had gone too far leaving them and the stress and worry if him leaving was, finally, coming out in anger.</p><p>“BUT SOMETHING COULD HAVE!!!” Michael yells. He sees Jeremy stir a little and lowers his voice. “And if it had, it would have been because of you. You’re the one who gave Jeremy the squip. You’re the one who put that chip in Jeremy. You’re the reason he’s covered in scars. This is all because of you. And if something had happened to him, it would have been your fault too.” Michael hangs up. He realizes he has tears pouring down his face. He curls into a ball and sobs.</p><p>Jeremy wakes to the noise of sobbing. He gets up, way too fast, falls back on the beanbags and then because he couldn't figure out how else, he crawled over to Michael and hugs him.</p><p>Michael feels a pair of arms wrap around him. He looks over to see Jeremy. Michael hugs him back and sobs into his shoulder.</p><p>Jeremy holds him, it's your fault he's crying, you tried to leave and now he's hurting. "I'm here" Jeremy whispers, "I'm here now."</p><p>Michael tries to breathe normally. He’s still shaking. “Thank you,” he says. He keeps crying.</p><p>"Breathe with me, in and out," Jeremy says, demonstrating with his own breathing.</p><p>Michael tries to follow Jeremy’s breathing. After a while, he’s breathing normally. “Sorry,” he says. He lets go of Jeremy and covers his face by putting up his hood. He only does this when he’s sad or anxious.</p><p>Jeremy still holds on to him. He dreads to ask because he fears that he is the answer. "What's wrong?"</p><p>“Nothing,” Michael says. He tries to think of an excuse. “I just, uh, had a nightmare.”</p><p>"About?" Jeremy asks quietly. I'm sorry, it's my fault.</p><p>Michael runs through the memories of his past nightmares. He’s had nightmares pretty much every night since before he can remember. That’s why he doesn’t sleep much. “Uh, your squip came back. And you started ignoring me again.”</p><p>Jeremy visibly saddens. "I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry." He starts sobbing, all my fault he thinks. Jeremy tightens his grip on Michael. "I won't let you go, I promise."</p><p>Michael wraps his arms around Jeremy again. The tears eventually stop. “It’s not your fault. I wasn’t a good enough friend. It wasn’t your fault. If I had tried harder to help you, none of this would’ve happened if I had just done that research earlier. I’m sorry.”</p><p>"There's no way you could be a better friend.  You shouldn't be sorry for my mistakes." Jeremy says, looking worried.<br/>
Michael smiles. “You’re not the only one who made a mistake.”</p><p>"you haven't made any mistakes" Jeremy says, sincere, "I made a mistake I took the stupid pill, I called you a looser. You did nothing wrong."</p><p>“If I had been a better friend, you wouldn’t have taken the squip.” Michael’s tries to think of something to change the subject with. “Uh, wanna play Among Us?”</p><p>Michael, no. You need to make sure you're not blaming yourself. Jeremy wants to say, instead he says, "ok"</p><p>Jeremy messages Christine with the code to get in she gives it to Jenna and soon the whole squip squad are in the game. The game starts, Michael and Christine are the impostors. Jeremy is helping them win.</p><p>Christine kills first and the body is found shortly after.</p><p>"Red" Jake writes</p><p>"You didn't even find the body" Christine protests</p><p>"Red sus," Rich types.</p><p>"I was with Michael," Jeremy tries to help.</p><p>"That just proves it," Chloe types. Everyone knew Jeremy would cover for Michael.</p><p>Michael gets ejected. His phone lights up. Hope you feel bad, looser. It was from Jake. He had sent it as a (very) misguided way to try and protect Rich.</p><p>Michael reads over the text. Over and over. Why would Jake say that? Because it’s your fault that Jeremy and Rich and everyone else got hurt. That’s why. Michael watches the game finish. Christine and him win. Well, Christine wins. They start another game. This time, neither Jeremy nor Michael are the impostors. If it’s Jenna, they’re screwed. She’s a great liar plus nobody suspects it’s her. She stays silent the whole time in the game anyways, unless she gets asked something.</p><p>The same thing happens again. Except this time Michael really was in electrical, with Jeremy doing tasks.</p><p>Jeremy looks at Michael, who's visibly shaken, "what's wrong?"</p><p>Michael's phone lights up again. Apologize to Rich or I'll make yours and Jeremy's life hell. Jake texts, seemingly unaware that's one of the reasons Rich, and then Jeremy took the squip.</p><p>-----</p><p>Jake feels kind of bad threatening Michael but Rich is still distraught over what Michael said and he couldn't just let Michael get away with it.</p><p>“Oh, nothing. My online friend is messaging me, that’s all.”</p><p>"Ok, you know you can tell me anything right?"<br/>
Then the vent flaps and white comes out, Jeremy runs for his jelly bean's life. "No," he yells.</p><p>“Yeah, I know.” Michael watches as Jeremy barely makes it to the cafeteria. He dies just as he’s about to press the emergency meeting button. “Uh, I got mad at Rich for something and Jake’s getting mad at me. It’s nothing.”</p><p>Jeremy is furiously typing out who killed him to the other ghosts. They all agree that the living players are stupid compared to them. Cyan is ejected. Jeremy groans, annoyed. Then what Michael said sets in. "Wait, what? That doesn't sound like nothing." Jeremy's too aware that they really don't want to get on the bad side of their former bullies.</p><p>“It’s fine. I’ll just apologize to Rich,” Michael says reluctantly. He really doesn’t want to apologize to Rich. He’s the reason Jeremy could’ve gotten hurt. Michael watches white—Chloe—get voted off. Two minutes later, Yellow wins. Jenna. That’s expected.</p><p>"Why do you need to apologize to him?" Jeremy turns to Michael, he turns too quickly, loses balance and falls right into Michael's lap.</p><p>Michael’s face goes red. “Uh, because I got mad at him for something dumb.” He avoids eye contact—a sure sign he’s lying.</p><p>"Michael," Jeremy sighs from Michael's lap. It's about me isn't it must be, I caused this. </p><p>“It...it was because he left you at the 7/11, okay? You could’ve gotten hurt. You were passed out by a trash can in the middle of New Jersey at a 7/11. That’s not safe. You could’ve disappeared or—or worse.” Michael says. “After everything he did, he should at least try to be a decent person.”</p><p>"Micha," Jeremy sounds tired, "I chose to leave him. He gave me the option to go back or he would leave me and I told him to go home. I was going to buy some snacks and run away but I got a bit dizzy and passed out." It is my fault, why can't I do anything right?</p><p>Michael internally facepalms. You’re an idiot. “Sorry,” Michael says. He notices Jeremy’s nearly asleep. “Do you want me to bring you back to your house?”</p><p>"I don't want to leave you." Jeremy slurs before falling asleep. It was only half the reason why he didn't want to go home. He wasn't sure if he could handle seeing his dad after all that had happened.</p><p>Michael smiles a little. He stays on the beanbag and exits out of the game of Among Us. He goes to regular TV and puts on an episode of friends. Jeremy, in his sleep, clings on to Michael. "don't go," he whispers, "please I'm sorry."</p><p>Michael instinctively puts an arm around Jeremy. “It’s okay,” he whispers. “I’m here. I’m not leaving. Ever.” Of course, the weird “aww” laugh track-like thing plays right when he says that. Wow, perfect timing. Jeremy stills but he doesn't let go. In his dream Michael is there, he relaxes somewhat.</p><p>Michael rubs Jeremy’s back. Joey appears on the screen dressed as a lobster. Oh, it’s that episode.</p><p>Jake calls Michael. Pacing, Rich hadn't gone home, too scared that he would find it back to the way it was before the squip but he had gone to sleep giving Jake plenty of time to deal with Michael.</p><p>Michael’s phone starts ringing. It’s Jake. He’s scared to answer. Who wouldn’t be scared if their bully threatened them because they got mad at their other bully, then bully A called them?<br/>
Michael takes a deep breath. He answers the phone, not bothering to pause the show. “Hello?” he whispers, trying to stay quiet so that Jeremy will stay asleep.</p><p>"Come over here and apologize to Rich." Jake sounds threatening. "He did all he could it's not his fault that your friend is to stupid for his own good."</p><p>Michael wants to hang up. He can’t deal with this right now. “I can’t,” he says. “I happen to have a sleeping Jeremy on top of me. Plus, my favorite episode of Friends is on and Jeremy isn’t stupid. Rich hurt him and he hurt me and I want to forgive him, but I can’t if he keeps messing up like this. I’ll be able to forgive him eventually. But first I have to recover from the past year of being the only person besides Christine that wasn’t being controlled by a squip. That wasn’t easy, dude. I didn’t get to know Christine and there wasn’t any dramatic ‘complete strangers bond over impending doom’ apocalypse thing. I was alone. My moms were squipped, dude. They were about to finalize a divorce because of their squips when I gave Jeremy that Mountain Dew Red. And that fucking sucks, okay? I haven’t forgiven myself for not giving Jeremy the soda earlier. You really think I can forgive Rich?” With that, Michael hangs up.<br/>
Michael’s phone lights up with a text from Jake, you're not the only one that went through shit Mell,  I'm going to make your life hell and I'm going to make your freaks life hell.<br/>
Jake was furious, Michael didn't understand how hard it was for Rich. He felt so guilty and whilst being squipped he had repressed so much.</p><p>Michael reads the texts. He answers.<br/>
Just leave Jeremy alone, okay? You can do whatever to me. Jeremy didn’t do anything to Rich. Beat me up, out me to everyone, do whatever. Leave Jeremy out of this.</p><p>No, that freak is the only way you'll listen. Jake responds</p><p>Leave Jeremy alone. You and Rich have already done enough to him. How would you feel if I started calling Rich a freak, huh? I’m not calling him anything, am I? No, I’m not. So if you leave Jeremy out of this, I’ll leave Rich alone. Otherwise, I’m not gonna be the good guy anymore. I’m sorry. I just can’t forgive Rich yet.</p><p>I don't want you to forgive him. I want you to apologize to him. Also Jeremy is a freak, he pushed Rich to get a squip. Then when Rich is trying to help he yells at him. Then you yell at him. He was trying to help. All you and freak are doing is getting in people's way.</p><p>I yelled at him because he left Jeremy at a 7/11 passed out by a trash can. He got a squip because I wasn’t a good enough friend. If you want me to apologize that badly, then stop harassing me about it. Maybe if you ask nicely I will. I was planning on apologizing anyways before you decided to start insulting Jeremy for something he has no control over. Just back off, okay? I’ll apologize when I apologize.<br/>
Michael turns off his phone and goes back to watching Friends. The episode finished a while ago. Now The Big Bang Theory is on.</p><p>Jeremy stirrers, "Micha?" He calls</p><p>“Hey Jeremy,” Michael says. “You missed half of your favorite episode of The Big Bang Theory.”</p><p>Jeremy glances at the screen. "You haven't eaten have you?" He asks, knowing the answer.</p><p>“Nah, I’m not really hungry.” Michael fixates on the screen. He’s never seen the show, but he knows that Jeremy likes it and that there’s a cool intro song thingie.</p><p>"You need to eat," Jeremy whines, being distracted.</p><p>“I’m fine. If you’re hungry, we can order a pizza.” Michael pulls out his phone and opens the Little Caesar’s app. </p><p>"Sure," Jeremy says, wiggling on Michael's lap. He reaches up and runs a hand through Michael's hair. "I love you, y'know." He murmurs.</p><p>“I love you too,” Michael says. He smiles at Jeremy. “So what do you want on your pizza?” Michael asks. He feels bad for changing the subject, but he couldn’t just forget about the pizza.</p><p>"You choose." Jeremy says, sounding decisive, "you've done lots for me you deserve a pizza that you'll like."<br/>
Then Jeremy starts coughing. Loud coughs that wrack his body, he climbs off Michael's lap and hunches over, gasping for breath in between coughs.</p><p>Michael drops his phone. “Jeremy are you okay?” Of course he’s not okay; he’s coughing worse than you did when you tried to do that cinnamon thing.</p><p>"Y-" cough, "yeah." Jeremy says, not at all convincing. "P-" cough "Piz-" cough "pizza". He gasps for air and collapses. </p><p>Michael orders the pizza in a rush. He gets Jeremy’s favorite—pineapple—and feels Jeremy’s forehead. He’s burning up. Okay, uh, Mom’s a doctor. She can probably do a thing and cure him or however doctoring works. Michael carries Jeremy to the bed and walks upstairs. “Mom? I need some help.”</p><p>Jeremy does not feel great when he comes to. His throat hurts and his head is pounding. He looks around. Michael is nowhere to be seen.</p><p>“What is it Michael?” Michael’s mom calls from the kitchen. He runs in.</p><p>“Uh, I think Jeremy’s sick. He started coughing a lot and passed out. The passing out is normal but the coughing is not. And he definitely has a fever.” Michael sounds panicked.</p><p>“Okay, is he downstairs?” Michael nods. His mom follows him downstairs.</p><p>Jeremy lies on the beanbags too tired to move. Michael's mom comes in, followed by Michael and he sighs in relief.</p><p>Michael’s mom walks over to the bathroom in the basement. She comes back with a bag.<br/>
“This is all the stuff that I took from work. There’s a thermometer, a flu test thing, a strep test thing, and a ton of bandages.” She takes out the thermometer and checks Jeremy’s temperature. 102 blinks back at her. “Well that’s not good. Do you usually get a fever when you’re sick? I know Michael gets one when he has strep but not with the flu.”</p><p>"Uh," Jeremy thinks, he can't really remember the last time he got sick, "I think the coma rewrote all that."</p><p>“Okay, then open your mouth and stick your tongue out.” Michael’s mom grabs the little flashlight in the bag and shines it into Jeremy’s mouth. “Yeah, that’s definitely strep. I have some over-the-counter stuff that I can give you, but I can’t get you a prescription without having to charge you. Oh, the perks of the American healthcare system.” Michael’s mom walks back upstairs. She returns a minute later with a cup of water and two small pills. “Here you go! You might want to wait until your pizza gets here to take it, though. Don’t wanna take medicine on an empty stomach.” With that, Michael’s mom walks out.</p><p>"Thanks," Jeremy murmurs at her retreating figure. He starts coughing again.<br/>
His phone starts ringing. Jake's name was displayed across the screen.</p><p>Michael looks over at Jeremy’s phone. “Don’t answer it,” he says. He tries not to sound panicked. He fails. Fortunately for Michael Jeremy was coughing too much to do anything. Michael breathes out a sigh of relief. He watches as Jake’s call goes to voicemail.</p><p>Jeremy's phone pings with numerous messages from Jake. Michael grabs his phone and Jeremy sinks to his knees, gasping for water.</p><p>Michael looks over at Jeremy. He grabs the glass of water by the beanbags and helps Jeremy drink some. The coughing subsides slightly. The doorbell rings. Michael gets up to answer it. </p><p>Michael comes back downstairs with the pizza. Jeremy’s phone kept blowing up with messages from Jake, calling him a freak. He blocks Jake.</p><p>"Thank you." Jeremy gasps, "who," he coughs again, "is calling."</p><p>Michael thinks about lying to Jeremy. Telling him it’s nothing or that it’s a spam call. But he doesn’t want to be a bad friend. “It’s Jake. He started harassing me for not apologizing to Rich and now he’s harassing you too. He’s not mad at you, he’s just trying to get to me. Just...ignore his messages, okay?”</p><p>Jeremy looks at Michael with wide worried eyes, "are you ok?" Jeremy reached out for his phone, Michael had yet to delete the texts, and one voicemail, Jake had sent and Jeremy was sure to see them.</p><p>“Jeremy don’t look at the voicemail,” Michael says. He’s visibly holding back tears. “Just, uh, delete it.”</p><p>"Micha, you haven't answered my question." Jeremy says, his voice soft.</p><p>“I’m fine,” Michael says. He avoids eye contact. “Uh, the pizza’s here!” He smiles and holds up the box.</p><p>Jeremy looks at the box and then at Michael, hesitant, "as long as you're sure." He says eventually pushing his hair out of his face. He grabs the pizza box, places it on the floor and takes a slice.</p><p>Michael can’t bring himself to eat it. He’s still worried about Jake. Instead, he grabs a slice and puts it on a napkin. The TV is still on—there’s a commercial break. Michael grabs the remote and sorts through the channels. He finally finds something to watch—Bill &amp; Ted’s Excellent Adventure is on/<br/>
Michael is closed off. It was less than 24 hours since they had discovered their mutual feelings for each other and now Michael wasn't even open with him. Jeremy wanted to kiss Michael and tell him how important he was but instead they were eating pizza in uneasy silence.</p><p>"Michael" Ina called. "Mr Heere called me, he said that your friend from school just told him you're, and I quote, a stoner," her voice was dangerously low.</p><p>Michael nearly spit out his water. “What?” he yelled. He walked over to the loose floorboard where he keeps his stuff and covers it with a dirty shirt. It’s not really that loose, so it isn’t noticeable. It takes him a good 10 minutes to open it even though he’s been keeping stuff in there forever.</p><p>"Jeremy, dear, I think it would be best if you went home," Ina looks mad, "I don't want you to be here when we find..." She trails off. "My partner will drive you home."</p><p>Jeremy looks at Michael in horror, he knows that Michael took drugs last year but this year? Probably. He wasn't ready to go home yet. He didn't want to face his failure of a father and pretend everything was alright but Ina was already pushing him to the door. "Swallow your pills, I'll tell your dad that you're ill." Jeremy does and she hands him his crutches</p><p>Michael says goodbye to Jeremy and helps him get up the stairs. Then he returned to his untimely fate.</p><p>As he's being driven home Jeremy realizes that Michael still has his phone. He doesn't say anything because he doesn't want to make it worse. The drive home was silent.</p><p>Michael’s mom glares at him. He sighs and goes over to his floorboard. He manages to open it pretty quickly. Inside is fairly empty compared to what he had in it a few months ago. “I’m sorry,” he says.</p><p>"Why?" She replies, "I know things haven't been that great recently but..." She trails off too upset to continue. Ina glares at him for daring to upset his mom in this way.<br/>
"Why resort to this instead of talking to us?" Ina finally says after an awkward silence.</p><p>“I was scared,” Michael says. “I didn’t want you guys to hate me. I didn’t want to burden you guys. So...this happened.”</p><p>"Oh Michael." His mom sobs, "you could never be a burden." Ina just stands there, silent.</p><p>“I was to Jeremy,” Michael says. “I was a burden to my only friend. And I was scared to say anything about the past year and a half because I didn’t want to hurt you guys. I’m sorry.” Michael realizes he’s crying. He’s still not telling the whole truth. He’s not saying anything about the past year watching their squips make them fight and nearly get divorced and say homophobic and transphobic things because of their squips and he’s not saying anything about the fact that it’s his fault for not helping them sooner.</p><p> </p><p>"Michael," his mom runs to him enveloping him in a hug. Ina still doesn't say anything, she takes out her phone.</p><p>Michael hugs her back. He’s nearly sobbing.</p><p>"It's illegal." Ina finally says, "you broke the law because you felt like a burden." She makes it sound stupid, like Michael was a child. "That's not acceptable."</p><p>“I know,” Michael says. “I’m sorry. I know sorry isn’t enough. But I am. You guys should take away my phone or my computer or everything or just make me sit in my room for the rest of my life.”</p><p>"You're grounded you're not allowed any video games. I expect you to be studying more." Ina sighs, distant, "you can keep your phone since Jeremy will probably want to talk to you. Did he know anything about this?"</p><p>“He knew about it, but not everything. Just a little.”</p><p>"Do you get high," Ina takes a breath, "together? Do I need to tell Me Heere about this?"</p><p>“No!” Michael says. Jeremy only got high with him once. He never really liked it. Michael would joke about it, but it was usually just him. “No. Never.” </p><p>"Really?" Ina pries.</p><p>"He's obviously upset, let's just leave it for a bit." Michael's mom says.</p><p>"He could be lying. Jeremy could be there right now."</p><p>"Jeremy's sick, it'll be awhile before he does anything."</p><p>"The sooner this is sorted the better."</p><p>Michael's mom sighs, "we'll talk about this later."</p><p>Ina walks off, the controlled slowness of her pace giving away how angry she is. When her footsteps have receded upstairs Michael's mom smiles at him, "she'll come round eventually." She takes a deep breath and looks into Michael's eyes, "you are not a burden Michael Mell, you are a gift to us all." She kisses him on the head and gives him another hug.</p><p>Michael watches them walk out. He sits on the bed and reads through Jake’s texts to him. “Loser.” “Freak.” He keeps scrolling through. The insults go back to freshman year. He had gotten Michael’s number for a project and then all of the other popular kids found it. He scrolls down through his messages. The only people he’s texted are Christine, Jeremy, and his moms. Besides Jake. In the background Michael's house Ina and Mom were arguing on how best to discipline their son.</p><p> </p><p>Jeremy sat in bed. His phone was at Michael's and his dad had ordered him to bed immediately. He coughed every few minutes and felt miserable.<br/>
His dad had come in to talk once or twice but Jeremy had feigned sleep. He was bored.</p><p>Mr. Heere comes into Jeremy’s room. He sees Jeremy laying on his side with his eyes open. He closes them as soon as his dad walks in. “Jeremy? I made dinner. It’s spaghetti.”</p><p>Jeremy ignores him, staring at the inside of his eyelids and trying his hardest to feign sleep.</p><p>Mr. Heere sighs. “Just...come out when you’re ready, okay? I haven’t had a full conversation with you since you got your memory back.” With that, he walks out.</p><p>Jeremy opens his eyes, guilt forming in his chest, "I can't come out, you put my crutches at the other side of the room." He finally says.</p><p>“Right. Yeah.” Mr. Heere grabs his crutches and brings them to Jeremy.</p><p>Jeremy grabs them, still not looking his dad in the eye and works his way downstairs.</p><p>Mr. Heere watches Jeremy leave the room. He sighs. He doesn’t have to talk to me if he isn’t ready, he thinks. Mr. Heere follows Jeremy downstairs and gets him a bowl of pasta.</p><p>"So," Jeremy says, glaring at the spaghetti.</p><p>“How are you?” Mr. Heere prompts.</p><p>"Fine, other than the fact you ratted out my best friend." Jeremy stabs the spaghetti.</p><p>Mr. Heere stops eating. “One of his other friends called me and said it was getting out of hand. Jack Something? He said that he was worried about him and that he didn’t want to call his moms.”</p><p>"His name is Jake. He's been bullying Michael and I for years."</p><p>“Oh,” Mr. Heere says. “I’m sorry. He sounded so concerned and I did the first thing I could think of.”</p><p>"Maybe the first thing you should think of is calling me."</p><p>“I did. You didn’t answer.” Mr. Heere frowns.</p><p>Jeremy looks at his plate, "thanks."he doesn't feel very forgiving but he also doesn't feel mad, his dad was trying.</p><p>“Well, I got a job while you were in the coma. No squip help. That’s why I was out of town when you woke up.”</p><p>"Great," Jeremy mutters, his eyes dart up of their own accord and see he's dad's face he looks down and glares at the spaghetti, "what do you do?"</p><p>“I’m a divorce lawyer. I got a degree for it awhile ago. I went to the local university for a while to get enough credits, and now I have a job.”</p><p>"That's, actually pretty cool." Jeremy says, slowly as if waiting for the punchline</p><p>“Yeah,” Mr. Heere says. He hears a knock on the door and gets up to answer it. Michael is standing there panting. “Michael? Did you run here?”</p><p>Michael doesn’t answer. “Can I talk to Jeremy?”</p><p>“Uh, sure,” Mr. Heere mutters. Michael pushes past him and Jeremy follows him into his room.</p><p>As soon as the door is closed, Michael hands Jeremy his phone. “First, here’s your phone. Second, I’m grounded.”</p><p>"So what are you doing here?"</p><p>“I don’t know, I didn’t have anything better to do.” Michael jumps onto Jeremy’s bed and nearly lands on MJ. She jumps on top of Michael and purrs as he pets her.</p><p>"But you're grounded." Jeremy pauses, "what was my dad doing whilst I was in a coma?"</p><p>“Mostly working when he wasn’t visiting you,” Michael says. “Why?”</p><p>"it's just, he wants to talk and that's not what I remember." Jeremy fidgets. </p><p>“He missed you a lot. He’s trying to be a better dad.” Michael pets MJ.</p><p>"that makes sense." Jeremy looks at his hands.</p><p>“Yeah,” Michael says. “Anyways, since I’m grounded, wanna play Among Us?”</p><p>"Yeah," why hasn't he kissed me? Why hasn't he spoken about the kiss at all? Does he regret it?</p><p>Michael turns on Jeremy’s console and opens a game of Among Us. Neither of them are impostors. Why are you avoiding talking to Jeremy dude he legit kissed you like this morning and you’ve been acting like nothing happened what the heck.</p><p>Jeremy heads to electrical with Michael. To do tasks. Some idiot called a meeting just to say hi. They eject Michael for no reason.</p><p>"that's tough." Jeremy says and leaves the game, "Micha," his throat suddenly goes dry and the rest comes out in a whisper, “why haven't we spoken about the kiss?</p><p>“Yeah?” Michael strains his hearing, watching Jeremy. “Oh, uh, I didn’t wanna make you uncomfortable or anything.”</p><p>Jeremy looks at him, "but," the words get stuck in his throat. I love you, he thinks, I've just realized that, why haven't we even spoken about it.</p><p>“Do you wanna talk about it?” Michael says. “Sorry, that sounded rude. But...I meant it Jeremy. Just remember that.”</p><p>"Y-yeah," he stammers, "you m-mean t-t-that?"</p><p>“Of course I do.” Michael grabs Jeremy’s hand. “Why wouldn’t I?”</p><p>"T-to, m-many r-r-reason-s t-to l-l-list," he stutters, his face red.</p><p>“Well, I mean it,” Michael assures. He leans in to kiss Jeremy.</p><p>Jeremy kisses him back, he wraps his hands round Michael's neck, his hair falls forward.</p><p>Michael runs his hands through Jeremy’s hair. </p><p>Jeremy pulls away, "what do we do about," he gestures between them,"this?"</p><p>“Whatever you want,” Michael says. His face is bright red.</p><p>"I want you to be happy," Jeremy says, looking earnest.</p><p>“I’ll be happy as long as I can be with you.”</p><p>"Michael that's not an answer." Jeremy says.</p><p>“I, uh...” Michael thinks about what he should say for a good 10 seconds. “Do you wanna go on a date with me?”</p><p>"Yes!" Jeremy grins, bouncing, "yes!" </p><p>Michael smiles. “Okay. Uh, when do you wanna go?”</p><p>"N-now?"</p><p>“Sure!” Michael’s smile widens, if that’s even possible. He helps Jeremy up and they go to his car. “So where do you wanna go?” He start’s leading Jeremy to his car.</p><p>"out for food" Jeremy smiles at him, "I didn't really eat dinner, and after we could go on a walk." The enthusiasm in Jeremy's voice is infectious. They climb into Michael’s car and start driving.</p><p>Michael turns onto the highway. “To Olive Garden because I’m broke and it’s all I can afford!”</p><p>"Yes," Jeremy pumps his fist and grins at Michael before coughing for a few moments into his elbow.</p><p>Michael grabs a water from the center thing in his car and hands it to Jeremy.</p><p>"I'm fine," Jeremy says, bouncing in his seat. They arrive at Olive Garden.</p><p>Michael and Jeremy walk into the restaurant. There are a few people in it. A family at a corner table and a couple by the window. A waitress walks up to them. “Table for two?” Michael nods. She leads them to a table and they sit down.</p><p>When Jeremy and Michael leave, Jeremy was leaning heavily on Michael half asleep, stumbling along. "Michael, I-" Jeremy started saying then Jake steps in. "Oh look the loser and the freak," he sneers, "ready to apologize yet?" He asks a defiant looking Michael.</p><p>“No, not really,” Michael says. “Maybe if you stopped harassing me I will.”</p><p>"Michael, do you know how hard it has been for Rich?" Jake slurs, drunk.<br/>
"I'll tell you," he says after a seconds pause, "he's depressed because he's guilty, someone or something told him where the other squips are. They're behind 7/11."  He looks smug, and slightly drunk</p><p>Michael looks taken aback. “They’re behind 7/11? Like the 7/11 Jeremy was at?”</p><p>"yep,"Jake slurs</p><p>“That’s not good.” Michael and Jeremy walk away from Jake.</p><p>Jake puts his leg out and trips Jeremy, who falls to the floor, coughing, "you apologize to Rich," Jake sounds angry.</p><p>Michael looks Jake dead in the eye for the first time ever. “No,” he says. “And don’t. You. Dare. Hurt. Jeremy.” He helps Jeremy up and they start walking to their car.</p><p>Jake stands in front of Michael blocking his path. Jeremy is reminded of the days when they were bullied, except he was smaller now and Jake was somehow larger and stronger. "We already spoke about this Michael, apologize." Jake's voice is low and dangerous.</p><p>“Why should I apologize? It’s not my fault!” Michael wants to cower in fear. He wants to run away. But he’s sick of running away and avoiding confrontation. The last time he did that, Jeremy got put in a coma and lost all his memories.</p><p>"L-leave h-him a-al-alone," Jeremy stutters. Jake turns on him, "this is your fault, why didn't you just say no to the squip, actually no, why did you say no to Richard when all he wanted was to be your friend?"<br/>
"B-b-because I-i," Jeremy stutters, he starts coughing, unable to complete the sentence. Jake punches him in the gut.</p><p>Michael watches Jeremy get punched.  He turns to Jake and punches him in the node. Jake doubles over in pain. He punches Michael right back in the nose then knees him hard in the stomach. Michael’s more used to it, so he recovers faster.  “It’s not Jeremy’s fault that I wasn’t a good friend,” with that, Michael helps Jeremy get to the car.</p><p>Jake watches them go, furious and very drunk. All he wanted was for Michael to apologize and Rich to stop hating himself. He punches the nearest car, wanting to let off some steam. Then leaves.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which you just want to yell at Jeremy... I'm sorry.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry about the spelling mistakes, we tried but one of us is dyslexic and delicate about it (me at 1am). Very sorry about slow updates, I will disclose now that I fully intend on finishing this but time is relative and I have to prioritize academic success. Thank you so much for reading and putting up with my bad spelling.</p><p>tw for mild dysphoria but if you are triggered by it I recommend not reading this as it is a reoccurring thing.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"T-thanks," Jeremy stammers at Michael, still shaken. He's struggling to stay awake, he doesn't want to leave Michael alone.</p><p>Michael looks over at Jeremy. He looks half awake. “It was nothing. It’s not the first time I’ll have to deal with some injuries.” Michael laughs a bit. “You can go to sleep. I’ll just carry you into your bedroom or whatever.” Michael looks over at Jeremy, who is sound asleep. He smiles a little. It hurts. </p><p>"Michael, what part of grounded do you not understand?" Ina asks, stern. She had been waiting for them at Jeremy's house. "It's like you don't even care," she starts lecturing, then she sees the bruises on her son's face and the Jeremy passed out in his arms.<br/>She speaks slowly, "did you two get into a fight?" She asks.</p><p>“No,” Michael says. “Jake Dillinger did though.” He tries to walk away.</p><p>"Michael, your mom and I have been worried sick, please, just talk to us." Ina's voice cracks. "Why was Jake hurting you?"</p><p>“He keeps harassing me to apologize to Rich even though Rich left Jeremy passed out next to a trash can at a 7/11.” Michael says. You sound like a two year old.</p><p>Ina's face turns stormy, "put Jeremy down, we need to talk."</p><p>Michael brings Jeremy to his room and comes back. He’s trying not to show any emotion.</p><p>Ina sits down and gestures for Michael to do the same, "let's start from the beginning. Why was Jeremy passed out?"</p><p>“Because he keeps fainting and Jake punched him in the stomach.”</p><p>"I meant at 7/11 although we're going to circle back to that."</p><p>“Because he keeps fainting and he’s on crutches so it’s kind of hard to move. I kind of thought Rich would have some common sense after being a doctor for a year.”</p><p>"Is there a chance that Rich knew that you were going to find Jeremy and he wouldn't be alone for that long?"</p><p>Michael internally facepalmed. You are such an idiot. “Maybe, but he still should’ve stayed with Jeremy.”</p><p>"okay," Ina takes a breath, she can tell it's going to be a long night, "how long was Jeremy left alone?"</p><p>“At least half an hour. He was basically an ice cube when I picked him up. That’s probably why he got sick.”</p><p>"ok, so after 7/11 you took him to our house," Ina guesses, "and then you and Rich have an argument over the welfare of Jeremy. You both piss each other off and he demands an apology?" Ina looks at Michael for confirmation.</p><p>“No. I tell him he shouldn’t have left Jeremy, he argues back, I get mad at him, he gets mad back, then I yell at him and hang up. Then Jake starts messaging me.”</p><p>"So you have an argument with Rich and Jake decides to get involved." Ina rubs her temples, "so maybe try talking to Rich about what Jake is doing and see if he can get him to stop."</p><p>“I’m dumb,” Michael says. “Why didn’t I think of that?”</p><p>Ina smiles softly, "you're not dumb my dear you just have too much to deal with." She takes a deep breath, "I'll have to discuss it with Mom but I'll see about grounding you when Jeremy is better." And can look after himself the words go unsaid but Michael knows that's what she means.</p><p>Michael still avoids eye contact. “Thanks,” he says. He’s still kind of mad at Ina. She doesn’t get involved when he comes home from school every day with a bloody nose and a black eye because she’s at work or talking to his mom. But now she does.</p><p>"Well," She says awkward, "guess I should go."</p><p>“I should go too,” Michael says. “I kind of need to steal some of Mom’s medical stuff.”</p><p>Ina smiles at him, "I'm sorry," she says quickly.</p><p>“Why?” Michael says. If anything, he should be sorry.</p><p>"I haven't been a very good parent over the last year." She says, guilty, "I've been doing some thinking and we all have some stuff we need to say sorry for. I haven't been there for you when you needed me, all we did was argue and yell and," she shudders, "I didn't mean any of that and I'm your Ina, your gaurdien, I am responsible for you and I failed."</p><p>“You didn’t fail,” Michael says. “You tried your best. You’re busy and I understand that.”</p><p>"Michael, look at me, you are not responsible for me or your mom, we are responsible for you. We will look after you and we will fix what went wrong." Ina looks at her phone, she kisses Michael on the forehead and messes up his hair, "I need to go and you need to talk to Rich." She runs out. "I'LL CALL YOU LATER ABOUT YOUR PUNISHMENT." She yells over her shoulder.</p><p>“Bye Ina!!!” Michael calls as she walks out. He scrolls through his contacts and finds Rich. He calls him.</p><p>"What." Rich snaps.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Michael says. “I overreacted.”</p><p>Rich pauses, "Michael I left your best friend, possibly boyfriend, passed out next to some bins in the freezing cold, I'm sorry." After another long pause he says, "do you know where Jake is, he's been acting kind of distant recently."</p><p>Michael pauses. “So you had nothing to do with that?”</p><p>"with what?" Rich asks.</p><p>Jeremy, bad timing as usual, starts screaming about icebergs and Keanu Reeves. Mr Heere is out shopping.</p><p>“Uh, long story. Gotta go. Bye!” Michael hangs up and goes to Jeremy’s room.</p><p>Jeremy was fighting with the duvet, "Don't," he yells, "no." There were tears streaming down his cheeks, his face was red and swear was visibly trailing down his brow. "Help," he murmurs.</p><p>Michael goes up to Jeremy and grabs his hand. “It’s okay. I’m here.”</p><p>"please," he whispers hoarsely, "help," he rolls over, his hand falling out if Michael's.</p><p>Michael puts his hand on Jeremy’s shoulder. “It’s okay. I’m here,” he says again.</p><p>Jeremy's arms flail around, eventually his arm hits Michael and he hugs him, "thank you," he whispers and calms just as Michael's phone lights up, Ritch is calling.</p><p>Michael hugs him back. “I’ll be right back, okay? Rich is calling me.” He sees Jeremy’s expression when he says Rich is calling. “It’s good, it was Jake that was doing that stuff. Rich had no idea.”</p><p>Jeremy, not fully understanding what's going on whispers, "stay away from the penguins," before falling back asleep.</p><p>Michael laughs a little and answers his phone. “Sorry Rich, Jeremy had a nightmare. I think.”</p><p>"it's no problem. Now what's Jake been doing?"</p><p>Michael hesitates. Should I tell him? “Uh...”</p><p>Rich sounds almost hysterical, "Michael, Jake is gone almost all the time, he won't tell me what's wrong. He's been like this since I told him," he's cut off by a sob, "well I guess tall-ass feels the same way."</p><p>Michael sighs. “Jake’s been harassing me about apologizing to you. About an hour ago, he beat Jeremy and I up. The worst I did was punch him in the nose. He returned the favor.”</p><p>Rich swore, "how bad are you both?"</p><p>“Uh, Jeremy got a pretty soft kick to the stomach. He was already sick, so it really only left a small bruise and made him cough. I got a punch to the nose and a hard knee to my ribs. I’m fine though,” Michael says. He’s really not that fine.</p><p>"I'm coming round," Rich says, "and if I see Jake I'm going to tell him to stay out of my business. I mean I was mad before and I guess I projected my problems onto you but that's not, that's just wrong." Rich makes a noise, obviously struggling with numerous emotions, "is there anything you would like me to grab, I didn't actually quit being a doctor they decided that they didn't care how under qualified I am."</p><p>“Uh, maybe some bandages and stuff? For Jeremy. Jake tripped him and he cut his arm on a rock.”</p><p>Rich let out a stream of curses, "anything for yourself?" He dreads the answer.</p><p>“Uh, just some bandages.” Michael says. He’s used to patching himself up.</p><p>A slamming noise could be heard in the background, "Jake's back, don't wait for me." Rich says before hanging up.</p><p>Michael stares at his phone. What is Jake doing? He walks back into Jeremy’s room and sits in the corner.</p><p>Jeremy was muttering something Keanu Reeves being the penguin king and being cold.</p><p>Michael messages a little with his online friend. They’re in school at the moment, but Michael’s school is on Christmas break.</p><p>Someone knocks on the door. Michael's phone lights up with a text from Rich, "OPEN THE DOOR"</p><p>Michael quickly gets up and runs to the door. He swings it open and nearly whacks himself in the face.</p><p>Rich runs in and slams the door behind him. "Mell are all the doors and windows closed?" Rich pants.</p><p>“Probably?” Michael says. “I mean, last time I checked it was 30-something degrees outside and this house was stifling hot, so yeah.”</p><p> </p><p>"Good," Rich takes a breath, "it appears that some people didn't hate being squipped." Rich turns slightly and Michael can see blood on Rich's forehead, like he had been hit there with a blunt object.</p><p>Michael’s face pales. “Like who?”</p><p>"Jake, he thinks that they can make it to include gay." Rich looks at the ground, "Jenna, Madeline and a whole bunch of people whose names I don't know."</p><p>“Jake liked having a squip? And Jenna? But why?” Michael helps Rich get to a chair. He’s still kind of dazed from getting hit. Michael grabs some medical supplies and starts cleaning up Rich’s forehead.</p><p>"They were depressed before. No one cared about Jenna then everyone did but she never actually made a connection so now the SQUIPs gone she's friendless. Jake, he just liked someone making his ego bigger." Rich left out that without a SQUIP his dad had started being abusive again and he hadn't really been happy since they deactivated, he didn't mention the argument that they had about the SQUIP being the only good thing in his life. He didn't mention how Jake had looked at him with slow realization and asked, 'will you ever be happy without the SQUIP,' to which he hadn't been able to answer.</p><p>Michael looked Rich in the eye. He wasn’t saying something. “Anything else?”</p><p>"Nothing of importance." Rich turns away, "thanks" he says after a moment gesturing to his forehead that Michael had been cleaning.</p><p>“No problem,” Michael says. He wants to ask Rich about it, but he notices the look in his eye. “If you wanna stay here tonight, go ahead. Jeremy’s dad is at HEB getting some stuff. He’s gonna leave for a business trip super early tomorrow so he probably won’t even know you’re here.”</p><p>"cool," Rich says he gestures to the bad he had dropped as soon as he got in, "I could treat you if you want."</p><p>“I’m fine,” Michael mutters. “I’ve got quite a bit of practice with patching myself up.”</p><p>"that's not a good thing," Rich says, sympathetic, "I was a doctor for a year, I know what I'm doing."</p><p>“Fine,” Michael says reluctantly, “but only my face.”<br/>Rich smiles, "yay," then realizes he said that out loud, "I mean, it's just, I get to show off my skills." He starts treating Michael's face.</p><p>Jeremy woke up to his phone buzzing, Jenna was the name displayed on the screen. Jeremy moaned, the buzzing was awful, he answers the call, trying to make the buzzing shut up.</p><p>“Hey Jeremy!” Jenna says in a sickly sweet, obviously fake voice</p><p>"mmmmmmm," Jeremy replies, not entirely sure if she's a fever dream or not.</p><p>“I, uh, I have some bad news,” Jenna says. “We think that Michael has a squip again.” Her and Chloe had been trying to think of something to say to Jeremy and this is what they came up with.</p><p>"What!" Jeremy says, instantly in alarm mode, clarity cutting through his fever, "how's that possible?" Jeremy starts coughing, tears role down his cheeks, his SQUIP is on and it's all my fault.</p><p>Michael’s still being patched up by Rich. He doesn’t hear anything.</p><p>“Yeah. We—Chloe and I, I mean—saw him turn it back on. I’m so sorry.”</p><p>"D-do y-y-you know h-how t-t-to turn i-it o-off," Jeremy stutters, not fully awake, his fever was running high but he knew he would do anything for Michael. "D-do y-y-you h-have r-r-red?"</p><p>“The SQUIP...Mountain Dew Red doesn’t turn it off anymore. The designer switched it so that people would accidentally activate it. Chloe accidentally reactivated her squip just a little while ago. That’s how we found out.” Chloe’s grinning in the background. Is he actually buying this?</p><p>"C-can y-y-you t-turn i-i-it off?" Jeremy was crying, "i-is C-chloe's o-o-off." This can't be happening, it's all my fault. Jeremy thinks, his fever addled mind but fully comprehending that if the SQUIPs really were reactivated then they would probably sound more serious.</p><p>“Yeah. Just put some regular Mountain Dew in his drink. Make sure there’s no Mountain Dew nearby,” Jenna says. “The squip is twice as strong this time, though.” That part’s true. The rest isn’t.</p><p> </p><p>"T-thanks," Jeremy stutters, "I-I'm s-sorry about s-starting th-the whole s-squip thing." He starts slurring his words, "h-how do I get i-i-it? Michael w-wont let me- me get i-it."</p><p>"Ok- ok," Jeremy says, then falls asleep, he dreams about Michael realizing that there's no reason staying with Jeremy and moving on to someone cooler and better.</p><p>~•~•~ </p><p>"So," Rich says, "wanna know how I got this?" He points to the slowly forming scab on his head.?”</p><p>“How?” Michael asks.</p><p>"Jenna threw a plant at me when she saw me coming over here, lucky it takes more than that to knock me out," Rich grins and wiggles his eyebrows.</p><p>“She threw what at you?” Michael asks. He’s about to burst out laughing but winces in pain. His ribs hurt really bad. Michael’s had bruised ribs before, but this hurts extra. That’s probably why it hurt like hell to carry Jeremy, Michael thinks.</p><p>"Hey it's not funny," Rich grins then he sees Michael wince, "you sure you don't want me to take a look at your ribs?" Rich asks. "I'm still totally into Jake if that's what you're worried about."</p><p>“No!” Michael says a bit too quickly. Rich used to bully you. If he sees your binder, he’ll bully you more. “I’m fine. Just a bruise.”</p><p>"Michael, I may be an oblivious shortie that bullied your best friend in the past." Rich says, "I actually have no idea where I'm going with this, why the hell are you trusting me that's a terrible idea." Rich takes a deep breath, realizing he wasn’t helping himself,  "I've changed, I'm bisexual now and I'm running from my surprisingly stupid boyfriend that thinks a glorified tic tac will make me feel better. If nothing else I won't make fun of you out of the fear that you'll kick me out." Rich tries to laugh but it's true, he's scared to go outside, he would probably do anything to stay indoors.</p><p>Michael sighs. He pulls off his shirt. His binder hurts—a lot. He didn’t realize it from the rush of adrenaline that’s just dissipating. He feels like his lungs are being poked. There’s a huge bruise on his stomach. Definitely worse than bruised ribs. His binder has a bit of blood on it from his nosebleed.</p><p>"You're going to have to take the binder off," Rich says, doing his best doctor's face, he had seen a lot of surprising things in his time as a doctor, this didn't even make it into the top ten but he had never suspected... It didn't matter, Michael was his parent and he would deal with that first and foremost.</p><p>Michael looks shocked. He takes off his binder and crosses his arms over his chest. The only person besides his moms that have seen him without his binder is Jeremy.</p><p>Rich works quickly and methodically, trying to make it as painless as possible, "does this hurt?" he pokes Michael's rib.</p><p>Michael winces. “Yep. Quite a bit,” he mutters. It still hurts to breathe—he thought it was just his binder.</p><p>Rich moves his hand away quickly and starts searching in his bag, "the good news is your ribs are just bruised, I can't find any evidence of them being broken, the bad news is that you shouldn't be wearing your binder until you get better, you're going to have trouble breathing otherwise." Rich stays in the bag longer than necessary, allowing himself a moment of expression and then tries to compose himself.</p><p>Michael nearly bursts into tears. “What?” he says.</p><p>"I'm sorry," Rich said, finally straightening up, "you can't wear your binder for at least a week, probably three." Rich is biting his lip, "I'm really sorry."</p><p>Jeremy messages his dad for the mountain dew, deciding he can’t wait. He asks him to not show it to Michael, figuring that was the best way to get it. His dad messaged back, "ok (:" Jeremy groaned and turned his phone off. The fever was getting slightly better, he was still burning up but after the earlier scare he could think clearly and could hear Michael in distress. He calls out to him, "Micha" and wobbles, without his crutches, downstairs.</p><p>Michael puts his hand in his arms. “It’s fine. As long as I can still wear it eventually.”</p><p>Michael sees Jeremy stumbling down the stairs. He pulls on his shirt and goes to help him but Rich stops him, concerned for his ribs. </p><p>Jeremy collapses on the last step, completely exhausted, "what?" He asks simply looking at Rich.</p><p>He is way too tall for me to carry Rich thinks but he helps Jeremy to sit with them anyway. He practically pushes Jeremy onto Michael and sits down himself. Jeremy immediately snuggles into Michael.</p><p>"You also should be putting an ice pack on it or something, sleeping upright and taking about 10 deep breaths at the end of every hour." Rich says, "y'know, so you can breathe."</p><p>“Okay,” Michael says. He moves away from Jeremy a little because he’s uncomfortable without his binder. It hurts.</p><p>Jeremy frowns, it's already starting, he thinks. "I'm home," Mr Heere announces and Jeremy jumps up, sways, falls back down and then gets up slowly and practically runs out the room.</p><p>"What's up with him?" Rich asks, watching Jeremy leave, bemused.</p><p>“I’m not sure,” Michael mumbles. “He probably asked his dad to get him some medicine.”</p><p>"Mell I appreciate that this is rough on you but I should probably be hiding from Mr Heere." Rich looks slightly panicked.</p><p>Jeremy watches his dad, "so where is it?" His dad hands him the mountain dew, and shows him all the other bottles he got, none of them say red, "thank you." Jeremy says, "I appreciate what you're doing." relief already coursing through him. </p><p>Mr Heere looks at Jeremy, "Thank you son, I've got to go actually, a work thing," he rolls his eyes, "but we're ok right?"</p><p>Jeremy nods then he opens the bottle of regular mountain dew and pours some into a cup, then he gets some pepsi and pours that into a cup, then he pours his own cup of pepsi.</p><p>Michael awkwardly shifts in his seat. “Yeah, probably. Just, like, go to Jeremy’s room, okay?”</p><p>"yeah, put your hoodie on Mell you're allowed that, doctor's orders." Rich says before running upstairs. Mr Heere walks in and hands Michael a drink before walking off, humming. By now he didn't really pay much attention to Michael. Jeremy stumbles in, "I got you a drink," he says, sounding proud of himself.</p><p>Michael picks up the drink and sets it down. “Thanks. Let me just put on my hoodie.” Michael grabs his hoodie and pulls it over his head. Once it’s on, he takes a sip of his drink. “This doesn’t taste familiar. What soda is this?” Michael asks. Then he feels a searing pain in his head. Oh God.</p><p>"I'm sorry," Jeremy says, "Jenna told me that you activated your SQUIP, you can't do that, it's dangerous." Jeremy says, looking down at his hands, something wasn't right Michael was not supposed to be looking at him like that.</p><p>Michael stares at Jeremy. The pain stops for a second. “Jenna, Madeline, Chloe, and Jake all want the squip back,” is all he manages to get out. Then the pain returns. He doubles over in agony. He feels something wet on his cheek. He’s crying.</p><p>"No," the word escapes Jeremy's lips, "no, no, no, they can't, why would they." Jeremy struggles to understand what Michael just said, he moves forward, trying to fix his mistake.</p><p>The pain stops. </p><p>“Michael Mell,” he hears. “Welcome back to your Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor. Your SQUIP. Please excuse the discomfort.”</p><p>Suddenly, Michael isn’t in control of his body. He feels the throbbing of his ribs and the comfortableness of his chest without his binder, but he doesn’t really feel it. It’s like when he has a panic attack—specifically the ones where he’s dissociated. He knows he’s doing stuff, but he isn’t doing it. He’s just a small, unimportant thing watching it go down. The world is just numb. He watches himself push Jeremy down and storm out, but he’s numb. He watches himself walk home, but he’s numb. He’s not in control. </p><p>He never had been in control. Not really. He thought he was, but he wasn’t. He was always just watching it go down through a window. The only time he actually tried to tap on the glass of the window was when he was 5. That’s when he met Jeremy.</p><p>Jeremy lies there, too tired to move, I did this he thinks, he remembers the expression on Michael's face as he stormed past him, like Jeremy was nothing, like he hated him. Jeremy couldn't blame him.</p><p>"Mell," Rich greets him, then notices his expression, "what happened?" Rich looks uneasy, he knows how to spot someone with a squip, what he doesn't understand is how Michael got one.</p><p>Michael looks at Rich without really seeing him. It’s like the squip turned off his emotions. “I upgraded,” he says. That sounds ominous. He walks out the door. Well, he tries, but Rich stops him.</p><p>"Fight it," he says looking stormy, "Mell I know you're in there and I know it seems impossible but you were the resistance against these tic tacs you single handedly took them down, you can't let this control you. What about Jeremy? The SQUIP can't make him happy, you really want to condemn him to wasting away in a hospital bed? You're stronger than the rest of us Mell, fight it." Rich stands strong looking Michael in the eye. Internally, he's absolutely terrified, this is his worst nightmare.</p><p>Michael comes back for a second. He’s absolutely terrified. So this is what Jeremy felt like, he thinks. He’s sure that Rich can see the fear on his face. He feels the squip fighting back. He does the only thing he can think of to stop the squip, even for a second. He elbows himself in the ribs—hard—and collapses on the spot. It hurt way more than he expected, but it definitely does the trick. He feels himself start to black out.</p><p>"fuck Mell you're not making this easy for me," Rich mutters and starts carrying him onto the couch. He sees Jeremy lying there on the floor. "Fucking hell whats up with you?" He asks Jeremy when Michael is on the couch, he finds some rope and starts tying Michael's wrists and feet together.</p><p>Jeremy just murmurs, "all my fault."</p><p>“How is it your fault?” Rich asks.</p><p>"I made him drink it, I lied," Jeremy stays unmoving on the floor. He decides that he's going to stay there forever.</p>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which I tarnish the reputation of more squip squad members.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tw for kidnapping</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You made him drink Mountain Dew? Why?!?” Rich yells. He really does care about Michael. He felt terrible when he was bullying Michael, but his squip numbed those feelings.</p><p>"Jenna said he had activated it and that was how to deactivate it." Jeremy decided that not would be a good time for the ground to swallow him.</p><p>“Of course she did,” Rich grumbles. “Look, I’m gonna get some Mountain Dew Red from Michael’s place. It’s only, like, a block away right?”</p><p><i>“Why me?”</i> Michael asks. <i>“Why do you always have to come back and ruin everything just as they get good?”</i> He feels like he’s spinning around. He feels like he’s watching all of his thoughts rattle around in his brain. He feels like he’s sitting there but he isn’t. He’s thinking about everything that happened in the last few hours but it didn’t happen. None of it happened. He imagined it all. He feels his control slipping from his grip. But the squip isn’t causing it. It’s a panic attack.</p><p><i>"Pathetic,"</i> the SQUIP sneers over him, contorting Jeremy's features into something ugly, <i>"for your information I didn't ruin anything,"</i> he sighs at Michael.</p><p>Michael curls into a ball. “Make it stop,” he mutters. He usually says a word or a phrase under his breath over and over when he’s having a panic attack. This time, the phrase is ‘make it stop.’ “Make it stop make it stop make it stop make it stop...”</p><p>"it's used up," Jeremy says from his place on the floor, he feels strongly numb and detached, "Michael used it up when getting my memories back."</p><p>Then Michael starts muttering and Jeremy sits up, slowly, "M-Michael," he moves towards him, "I'm sorry," he strokes Michael's hair, "I'll make it stop, I promise." He kisses the top of Michael's head. </p><p>The SQUIP frowns when Jeremy's voice cuts through the haze, <i>"that's extremely improbable,"</i> it sounds outraged and tries to block Jeremy out.</p><p>Jeremy leans towards Michael, "I love you," he says, into Michael's ear and kisses it, "I'll fix this I promise."</p><p>Michael hears Jeremy and comes back to earth a little. Only a little. He keeps saying “make it stop” over and over until he’s yelling it and the words are blending together. The squip keeps trying to block out Jeremy.</p><p>Jeremy realizes that talking isn't going to work so he hugs Michael and squeezes his elbow at the same pace of someone breathing slowly.</p><p>The SQUIP looks agitated but he can't stop the sensation of Jeremy without Michael's permission.</p><p>Michael’s yelling dissipates when he feels Jeremy hugging him. He tries to hug back but grasps empty air. He starts feeling around for his glasses. They must’ve fallen off when he collapsed. He keeps muttering, but it turns into a whisper.</p><p>"you're tied up," Jeremy says into Michael's ear, "here," he slides Michael's glasses back on his face and embraces Michael into another hug and starts stroking his hair. "I love you," he repeats in Michael's ear, over and over.</p><p>Michael starts muttering “I love you” back to Jeremy. He’s calming down finally. The squip is struggling to regain complete control over Michael.</p><p>"Michael do you know where the mountain dew red is?" Rich asks him, when he's calm.<br/>
<i>"Do not reply,"</i> the SQUIP commands</p><p>Michael tries to speak. He can’t. His vocal cords aren’t working. He claws at his throat.</p><p><i>"you're not the only one that can hack into my programming,"</i> the SQUIP smirks, <i>"it appears that you were deemed a threat,"</i> it smiles in a very unJeremy like way, <i>"obviously you're not the only threat, who would player 1 be without player 2?"</i></p><p>Rich and Jeremy look at each other in horror, "g-get him some w-water." Jeremy says to Rich. He grabs a pen and paper from the side, "I can't untie your hands," Jeremy says, apologetically, "so y-you're going to have to write with your hands tied together, sorry."</p><p>Michael grabs the pen. He starts writing. Floorboard. He knows that Jeremy knows what he means.</p><p>"Micha you're a genius," Jeremy throws his arms around him.</p><p><i>"Really? Why do you have to make this so hard?"</i> The SQUIP says, shocking him. <i>"If you just accepted me this would be easier. My system wouldn't deem you, and therefore Jeremy, a threat."</i></p><p>Michael starts muttering “I love you” back to Jeremy. He’s calming down finally. The squip is struggling to regain complete control over Jeremy.</p><p>Michael starts losing control again. He tries to tell Jeremy to run or something but he can’t.</p><p>Jeremy spots the look of panic on  Michael's face and mistakes it for mistrust. "I'm sorry," he whispers, "I should never have listened- I should have known." He looks ready to start crying, "I'll get rid of the tic tac, promise." </p><p>The SQUIP grins, "<i>this is going to be fun,"</i> it says before taking control of Michael entirely.</p><p>Michael shakes his head and tries to make himself pass out again. Then he goes numb again.</p><p>"Why would you do this?" The SQUIP makes Michael say, "Why would you betray me?"</p><p>Jeremy visibly deflates, "I-I'm s-sorry Michael," he takes a shuddery breath, "I-i thought I was h-helping."</p><p>Michael tries to scream to Jeremy. But it doesn’t work. He gets put deeper in the squip’s grasp.</p><p>"Well you weren't. I don't know if I even want the tic tac out, at least I know what I can expect from it." </p><p>Jeremy backs away, "Y-you don't m-mean that," he stammers.</p><p>Michael tries to break through. He does for a second. He tries to show his complete terror on his face before the squip pushes him deeper down.</p><p>"I do," The SQUIP says and tears start rolling down Jeremy's face, "I was wrong to wait for you, I was wrong to save you. I was wrong to ever call you my friend." The SQUIP pauses letting the words sink in, Jeremy's trembling, "I was wrong to have ever loved you." The SQUIP says, using Michael's mouth to say all those hateful things.</p><p>
  <i>“STOP!” Michael yells. He would have tears pouring down his face if the squip wasn't blocking it. He can’t do anything.</i>
</p><p><i>"I will stop Michael, when Jeremy drinks mountain dew green. If he does not,"</i> SQUIP draws a had across his throat and laughs, <i>"Things have only just begun."</i> </p><p>"I'm sorry," Jeremy sobs, "I'm going to get that tic tac out of you, even if it means," He breaks off, tears stream down his face, "I'm sorry" he tries to say, blocked by the squip.</p><p>
  <i>“No. Please. To whatever to me just...leave Jeremy alone.”</i>
</p><p><i>"The only way for you to give up is removing Jeremy. My programming has been altered and that is my purpose, to make sure both you and Jeremy stop resisting,"</i> Then the SQUIP speaks to Jeremy, "Go away," his tone is frosty, Jeremy flinches.</p><p>"N-no M-m-michael," He pleads,</p><p> </p><p><i>“No no no no no stop hurting him,”</i> Michael mutters. He doesn’t have the strength to think anything else. He’s about to black out.</p><p>"I don't want to look at you, I don't want to hear you, I don't want to be anywhere near you." Michael can see his SQUIP laughing. Jeremy is visibly swaying on his feet, he runs out the room. It's only a matter of time before he passes out and on the street, where there were at least two squipped people running around was not safe. Especially after the SQUIP's threat.</p><p>***</p><p>Rich walks out right before Michael’s squip takes over. He sprints to Michael’s house and bursts in. Michael’s parents look at him in confusion. “long story short, I need Mountain Dew Red.”</p><p>"Why?" Ina looks Rich up and down, disapproving.</p><p>“Jenna lied to Jeremy and now Michael has a squip again.” Rich looks at their shocked expressions and runs into the basement. He looks for the floorboard that Michael mentioned. Once he finds it, he opens it up with some struggle and grabs two Mountain Dew Reds. He runs back upstairs and out the door.</p><p>Rich runs into Jeremy’s house with the Mountain Dew Red. Michael’s standing up and staring Jeremy down. It’s his squip, not Michael. Michael would never hurt Jeremy.</p><p>Jeremy looks at Rich, then at Michael. "Do it," he says before running off.</p><p> </p><p>Michael watches Rich give him the Mountain Dew Red and nearly cries in relief. He feels a sharp pain in his head and blacks out.</p><p><i>"this isn't over,"</i> the SQUIP says just before Michael blacks out.</p><p>~•~•~</p><p>Jeremy isn't a complete idiot, he knew that Michael wasn't that mean the SQUIP must have, at least, be feeding Michael the lines but it still hurt, it hurt so much he could barely breathe. He ran outside, straight into Chloe and Jenna, fuck he thinks and does the only sensible thing he can think of, he calls Christine.</p><p>Christine answers her phone immediately. “Hello? Jeremy?”</p><p>"H-hey C-Christene," Jeremy curses his stutter, "I d-did something stupid and now I'm b-being cornered by a s-squipped Jenna and Chloe, i-it l-looks like they're trying to kidnap m-me."</p><p>"Too right," Chloe says and, with surprising force, kicks Jeremy in the stomach, he stumbles into a wall, hits his head and passes out.</p><p>Chloe picks up the phone, "tell Michael we got his friend and he better reactivate his SQUIP or we kill Jeremy."</p><p>Christine hung up and opened the Find my iPhone app. Her, Jeremy, and Michael’s phones were all synced. He was driving towards the 7/11. She got up, went to her car, and started driving that way.</p><p>Jenna was humming, "Think Brooke is going to take the mountain dew?" she asks Chloe.</p><p>Chloe grins, "If she knows what's good for her."</p><p>Brooke struggles against them. “I don’t want a squip! Let me go!” She’s tied to a chair. “If you’re gonna kidnap me, at least don’t do something as cliché as this.”</p><p>"Cliché is the best way to do anything," Chloe and Jenna say in sync, then laugh.</p><p>Brooke glares at them, realizing she wasn't going to get through to them like this.</p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>F for Jenna and Chloe</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Well fuck," Rich said when Michael came to, "we lost Jeremy." He looked angry, "Why can't he just," Rich cuts himself off, realizing who he was talking to.</p><p>“Where’s Jeremy, Rich?” Michael asks, looking around.</p><p>"Beats me," Rich shrugs,  He had panicked whilst getting the mountain dew and now he couldn't bring himself to worry, "he said, 'do it' and then he ran off." Rich pauses, thinking, "He looked really upset."</p><p>Michael gets up and runs out the door, looking for Jeremy. He starts thinking of where he could be. If Jenna and Chloe were gonna squip him, they could’ve done it here. Unless they didn’t have a squip with them. Michael runs to his car and starts driving to the 7/11, two bottles of Mountain Dew Red next to him.</p><p>Rich runs after the retreating car for a bit, the he sees Jake and runs back into Jeremy's.</p><p>Jeremy was vaguely aware of someone calling his name, "Jeremy," Brooke whispers.<br/>"Wha-"</p><p>"He's awake," Chloe and Jenna say in sync, Brooke groans, Please tell me that isn't what I sounded like.</p><p>Jeremy blinks a few times, "What's going on?"</p><p>Michael keeps speeding down the highway. He nearly gets pulled over but when the police officer sees the Mountain Dew Red, he lets him go. He arrives at the 7/11 in 10 minutes.</p><p> </p><p>“We just got kidnapped,” Brooke says bitterly, “by these idiots.”</p><p>"Fuck," Jeremy exclaims and Brooke nods.</p><p>"Here's the deal," Chloe says and Jenna laughs at her unoriginal joke, Brook scowls, "either you take the SQUIP and drink the mountain dew or we kill you." Chloe says brightly, "Also the SQUIP does gay now we hacked into it so you don't need to worry about shunning your crush,"</p><p>“You guys already have squips. Why do you need us?” Brooke says. Michael appears behind Chloe and Jenna. They don’t see him. He waits for their response.</p><p>"Because you're going to try and deactivate them and we're happier with them, they make us feel, connected." Jeremy and Brooke shudder at the creepy display.</p><p>“Maybe you guys should just start dating. Then you’ll feel connected,” Brooke mutters. She’s trying to stall as Michael pulls out the Mountain Dew Red and some rope. He quickly wraps the rope around Jenna and Chloe’s hands. He then pours the Mountain Dew Red into their mouths.</p><p>Jenna starts struggling and Michael has to hold on to her he loosens his grip on Chloe who spits out the Mountain dew, runs over to Jeremy and holds a knife to his throat. "One move and this freak gets it," Chloe says, the cold of the knife touches Jeremy and he whimpers. Jenna sinks to the ground and everyone looks at her, expectantly, "Please, you don't think the SQUIP would connect us like last time, did you?" She laughs, "This is a learning computer, you can't use the same trick twice."</p><p>Michael falters. He doesn’t want to hurt Jeremy. Brooke, however, starts shifting around in her seat. It catches Chloe’s attention for a second and Michael lunges forward, grabs Chloe’s knife, and cuts Jeremy free.</p><p>Chloe grabs the bottles of mountain dew red, "You have a limited supply, they're never going to produce this stuff again, you can't afford for me to tip it all away." Jeremy was starting to get pissed, people kept trying to ruin everything good he had, he charges at Chloe, grabs the mountain dew and pours it down her throat, holding her nose until she swallowed. "Fuck you." he growls at her.</p><p>"Wow," he turns to see Christine behind him, "I don't know why you called me, you seem to have everything under control."</p><p>“Hi Christine,” Brooke says. “By the way, Chloe and Jenna don’t actually want squips. Before their squips were shut down, they altered their memories. To make having the squip feel like a pleasant thing. Like what happened with Jeremy.” Christine, Michael, and Jeremy all stared at Brooke. “What? I had a squip. I know things.”</p><p>Jeremy starts swaying, he did still have a fever, "we should do something about people reactivating their SQUIPs," he says.</p><p>"You alright there Jer?" Christine asks. </p><p>Jeremy waves her off, "I'm fine."</p><p>"What about you?" Christine asks Brooke.</p><p>"I will be when someone unties me." Brooke scoffs.</p><p>Michael walks over and cuts the rope on Brooke’s arms. She rubs her wrists and smiles. “Finally.”</p><p>She walks over to Jeremy, "not bad Heere," she punches him on the shoulder which makes him sway even more but she had turned away, "would someone like to help me?" She asks dragging Chloe into the car, Christine helps.</p><p>Jeremy knows he's going to faint, he knows the best thing to do would be to go with Michael back to his place and sleep it off but he can't. He can't even look at Michael. He failed his player 1. He looks around, "I'm just going to grab a drink." He says, rushing away to 7/11. Except he can't, his legs won't function. The world tilts sideways.</p><p>Michael catches Jeremy just as he falls. This is the most cliché thing ever. He carries Jeremy to his car with some difficulty. His ribs just and he still has a huge headache from the squip. He gets Jeremy into the car and starts driving.</p><p>Jake waits outside Jeremy's house, waiting for Rich to leave.</p><p>---<br/>"Micha," Jeremy slurs as he wakes up.</p><p>“We’re almost home,” Michael says. He pulls into Jeremy’s driveway and sees Jake. “Stay here.”</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>I take no responsibility for the words I wrote in this chapter....</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Three updates in one day. I think this may be because of the comments on this (thank you so much it's really nice to know someone's reading this and enjoys it.)</p><p>Mild spoiler in the trigger warnings.<br/>tw:kidnapping, dead naming, misgendering, broken boned due to violence, fire</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He gets out and walks towards Jake. “Why the hell are you just standing outside of Jeremy’s house like a stalker?”</p><p>"So this is freaks house," Jake laughs, "nice place." Then he runs at Michael and punches him in the ribs then he picks Michael up in a fireman's lift and carries him to his own car.</p><p>Michael tries to fight back but the searing pain in his ribs makes him see spots. He nearly blacks out.</p><p>Jake throws him, none to kindly, into his car he climbs in himself and locks the doors. Jeremy watches this in horror. He watches Jake drive away. He starts up Michael's car and follows. </p><p>Michael is only half conscious as Jake pulls away. He panics when he realizes he’s technically being kidnapped. He tries to open a door and get out, but they’re locked.</p><p>Jeremy is having a hard time figuring out how to drive, it didn't help that the drift on Michael's car was awful, he swerved down the road after Jake. Adrenaline starts coursing through Jeremy's veins and his concentration sharpens.</p><p>"Hey look, your pet freak seems to think he can drive now," Jake laughs, "saves me the trouble of having to fetch him later." Jeremy swerves alarmingly around the corner, "or maybe he'll crash and die. What do you think?"</p><p>“He isn’t a freak,” Michael mumbles. Jeremy shouldn’t be driving. He doesn’t have his license and he hasn’t used his permit ever.</p><p>"Be honest with yourself Michael, he's a freak," Jake makes a sudden U-turn and Jeremy, miraculously, follows, "Impressive, maybe he'll make it to our destination in one piece." he marvels, "what do you see in him?" Jake asks, heading out of town. </p><p>“He’s amazing,” Michael says. “I wouldn’t expect you to understand that.”</p><p>"Hm, I do actually," Jake says, making another sharp turn that Jeremy was barely able to follow, "That's why I'm doing this."</p><p>“Why do you want a squip?” Michael asks. “You got to date Rich, you’re Cool, you’re strong, you can make friends without one. So why do you want one?”</p><p>"Because," Jake laughs when Jeremy swerves into oncoming traffic, "Rich is depressed, seriously depressed his dad..." Jake trails off, "his dad isn't very supportive..." Jake pauses, he starts driving in a straight line and stops making sudden turns, "Rich blames himself for the whole SQUIP thing and he's being really harsh on himself, when he had a SQUIP he was happy and confident, he did surgery, he did surgery on living people and they lived through it he was achieving, then the SQUIPs deactivate and he realizes that he's bi and he almost brought about the end of free will. Fuck free will if all it does is make people unhappy."</p><p>“The squip suppresses those emotions. We were all unhappy with the squip. But the squip made you forget those emotions.” Michael says. “If Rich’s dad is that bad, he can live with me. My moms will be fine with it. Just...no more squip. Please. I know you know how unhappy the squip made you and Rich and everyone else.”</p><p>"Rich's dad is worse than bad," Jake says jaw clenched, "I have offered for him to live at mine but he said he has responsibilities. The only way to fix this is the SQUIP. Not everyone will have a happy ending but I'm ok with that."</p><p>“The squip won’t erase what happened. Even if it does, you can’t sacrifice everyone for one person. I’m sorry. But if Rich wants to stay with me, he can.”</p><p>"I can sacrifice everyone and I will," The car stops, "we're here."</p><p>Jeremy sighs in relief when Jake's car stops.</p><p>“Where are we anyways?” Michael asks.</p><p>Jake pulls up in front of a group of warehouses, "the SQUIP had to be stored somewhere," Jake says then he punches Michael in the chest wraps rope around his hands and feet. The rope around Michael's few allowed him to walk, slowly.</p><p>Jeremy sees Michael being lead out the car and tries to follow discreetly, the adrenaline rushes through his veins and he is able to walk, almost steadily after them.</p><p>Michael slowly shuffles along. It hurts. He sees Jeremy following them and panics. He nearly falls over.</p><p>Jake laughs when he sees Michael's face, "don't worry you'll both meet the same fate." Jeremy, within hearing range, frowns. He can't let this happen, he couldn't let Michael get hurt again but the way Jake was talking it sounded like he was walking into a trap.</p><p>Jake’s pissed at how slow Michael is going, grabs him by the front of the hoodie and drags him into the warehouse. Michael just lets himself get dragged away. He tries to motion to Jeremy to run away but he keeps following. Jake pulls him into a warehouse and closes the door before Jeremy can get in. Michael decides to try and speak up. “Rich doesn’t want a squip. He wasn’t happy with one.”</p><p>"Shut up," Jake says, shuddering. The SQUIP had shocked him. He threw Michael into the warehouse. It was full of mountain dew and SQUIPs. Then Jake notices Michael's lack of a binder. "Who knew, Michael Mell, a girl. I bet Michael isn't your real name, it must be something like Michelle." </p><p>“Michael is my real name,” Michael says, fighting back tears, “and I’m not a girl.”</p><p>Jeremy felt anger fill him, how dare Jake treat Michael that way, how dare he. Jake continued taunting and it took all Jeremy's self restraint not to leave his hiding place. "Really? you look like a girl." Jake punches Michael and he falls to his knees. Jake circles him, predatory, "What is it? Tiffany? you don't look like a Tiffany, what about Daisy? You look like a Daisy." He grabs a bottle from next to him.</p><p>Michael tries to stand up but he’s in too much pain. He falls back to the ground. “My name is Michael.”</p><p>"Sure thing, Daisy." Jake unscrews the bottle of Mountain dew, he tilts Michael's head up.</p><p>Michael shuts his mouth. He doesn’t dare to try and open it.</p><p>"Open up for me like a good girl," Jake sounds falsely tender, "We wouldn't want to force you." Michael keeps his mouth closed. He doesn’t open it. He simply responds by flipping Jake off. Jake grabs the offending finger and breaks it. </p><p>Michael yells in pain. He grabs his finger instinctively. It hurts more. Jake's about to pour the mountain dew into his mouth but Jeremy rushes from his hiding place and knocks the mountain dew out Jake's hand, they both fall to the floor. Jake and Jeremy roll around on the floor, Jake being stronger and not recently out of a coma easily overpowers Jeremy and punches him in the stomach. Jeremy, fueled by anger and adrenaline, punches Jake back in the jaw and a nasty crunching noise rings out across the warehouse.</p><p>Michael watches Jake hold his jaw like it’s broken. It probably is. He tries to stand up but feels a searing pain in his ankle. As if this day could get any worse. Jeremy runs up to him and tries to help him up.</p><p>"You ok?" Jeremy asks, "dumb question, sorry." Jeremy realizes that there's no way Michael is going to stand before Jake so he scoops him up and runs for the door, he drops Michael outside and runs back in, there's no way he would be able to outrun Jake to the car but maybe with him acting as a distraction Michael would be able to make it back or at least hide until help comes, if help comes.</p><p>Michael tries to stand up but he ends up falling over again. Directly onto the hand that Jake broke a finger on. He yelps in pain and cradles his hand to his chest.</p><p><i>I'm sorry Michael,</i> Jeremy thinks, knowing he had just abandoned him but he didn't have a choice, this was the only way. Jake's standing now and the adrenaline is wearing off<br/>.<br/>"So," Jake says, Jeremy can tell it isn't Jake speaking it's the SQUIP, "You know I'm going to win, just give up now."</p><p>"N-never," Jeremy pants out.</p><p>"You really that desperate to save your girlfriend?" Jake teases.</p><p>"No I'm that desperate to save my boyfriend," Jeremy before being lunged at by Jake, he has no hope of winning this fight.</p><p>Michael finally manages to untie himself and stand up. He limps over to his car, which Jeremy took. He opens the door, grabs the crutches that Jeremy left in there, and pulls a Mountain Dew Red out of the center console. He uses Jeremy’s crutches and wobbles back to the warehouse. Jeremy spots him outside and Michael throws the Mountain Dew Red to him.</p><p>Jake pushes Jeremy out the way and stomps on his leg, Jeremy screams. Jake starts kicking him over and over. Jeremy curls up into a ball trying to protect himself but it doesn't work, suddenly the world is burning. The blows stop and Jeremy risks opening his eyes, Rich takes a swig of mountain dew red and kisses Jake, who falls to the floor. Rich starts dragging him out, leaving Jeremy to burn, "I'm sorry Heere I hope you understand."</p><p>"I do," Jeremy whispers then looses consciousness.</p><p>Michael rushes into the warehouse. Well, as fast as he can with crutches and a possibly-broken ankle. He picks Jeremy up and limps out, carrying the crutches. The rush of adrenaline he got helps him carry Jeremy to his car and drive them home. Once he gets Jeremy into his basement and sits down on a beanbag, the pain hits him all over again. His ribs hurt three times as much, his finger is bent back, and his ankle is twisted at an unhealthy angle. He passes out again.</p><p>Mom walks in, on the sleeping pair, she notices Michael's ankle and the ash on Jeremy's face. She screams</p><p>Michael stirs and wakes up. He groans in pain and opens his eyes to see his mom. “Oh, hi Mom,” he says. Then he passes out again. It hurts a lot to talk.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I was stopped from killing Jeremy. I did actually intend to but I was stopped :(<br/>If you like this chapter please comment so I feel the sacrifice was worth it :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>They go to hospital, Jeremy dies (maybe, I'm probably lying it would be in the tags). Jake feels bad</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I swear you're grounded forever." Mom mutters before calling  911.</p><p>Michael wakes back up in a hospital bed. He’s still in a lot of pain. He looks down. His chest is wrapped in bandages and his ankle is in a cast. So is his finger. He has a pounding headache.</p><p>Jeremy and Jake haven't woken up, he’s in the same room as Michael, Rich and Jake but he’s the only one that hadn't woken up. Jake felt guilty, really guilty. Rich hadn't broken up with him yet but it certainly looked that way, the last thing Rich had said to him was, "I'll always love you but this, this is unforgivable." He rolls over and sees Michael in the bed beside him, awake,<br/>
"hey,"</p><p>“Hey Rich,” Michael says. “Uh, thanks. For helping Jeremy, I mean.”</p><p>"I left him in a burning building." Rich raises an eyebrow, he had expected to be yelled at, "for the person who was trying to kill him."</p><p>“It’s fine,” Michael says. “I was there. I got a few burns—“ Michael points to his bandaged up arms, “but I still saved him. You couldn’t have carried both of them.” Michael’s a little mad, but Rich looks miserable. </p><p>"He was trying to kill your boyfriend," Rich repeats, "It looks like he did a number on you too."</p><p>“I’m fine,” Michael says automatically. “Don’t worry about me. You’re the one who barely escaped a burning building for a second time.”</p><p>"Michael you've got to be less forgiving you're going to get hurt, hell you already did get hurt." Rich raises his voice slightly, Jake stirs.</p><p>“Would you rather me hate you forever? Cuz I will if you want.” Michael smiles a little and sees Jake waking up.</p><p>Rich gives Michael a quick smile then turns to Jake, "Hi," he sounds awkward.</p><p>"Rich, I-"</p><p>"Lets talk about this later."</p><p>Michael feels like he should leave the room so they can talk, but he’s tied to a machine thing via IV. how did they even put an IV through his bandages? He turns towards Jake. “Uh, hi,” he says. What else is he supposed to say to the guy who just dead named and misgendered him over and over then nearly killed Jeremy?</p><p>Jake looks at him, "Uh,"</p><p>Rich glares, "Say sorry," he mouths.</p><p>"Sorry, Michael, I should never, I should have tried harder to stop it," he tries to grasp the words, at the time he thought he was doing the right thing, how the hell could he ever consider that the right thing?</p><p>“It’s fine,” Michael says. “The squip is just a manipulative little microwave.” He called you Michael. That means it was all the squip.</p><p>"Yeah, it's not though is it?"</p><p>“Don’t worry about it, okay? Just focus on apologizing to Jeremy. He needs it more than me.”</p><p>"I don't think that's entirely accurate, I hurt Jeremy physically but I also hurt you mentally. Just please don't pretend it's fine, I don't think I could stand pretending everything's fine."</p><p>“Okay, it’s not fine. You—your squip misgendered me and called me my deadname. How do you think that feels? It sucks. A lot.” Michael turns away as tears prick his eyes.</p><p>Jeremy's heart monitor started speeding up and he wasn't breathing.</p><p>Michael stood up. It hurt, but he had to get a doctor. He ran to the door. “Doctor!?! Help!!!!!” A doctor runs into the room, followed by four nurses. One helps Michael get back into his bed, which is hard because he’s trying to get to Jeremy’s side the whole time.</p><p>The doctor holds Michael down and the others rush Jeremy away. "Calm down," she speaks in a soothing tone, "You'll get in the way of them helping him." </p><p>Michael sits back down and watches anxiously.</p><p>They rush Jeremy out the room. Michael looks hysterical, Rich decides he needs to distract him.</p><p>Michael starts fidgeting with his hospital gown nervously. His hoodie is probably back at home. He misses it.</p><p>"Look Michael," Rich trails off Michael does not look happy, a thought hits him, "that's it," he yells and jumps up, he winces and grabs crutches "I'm getting your stuff. Think of it as an apology."</p><p>Michael jumps when Rich yells. It hurts. Why does everything hurt? “Uh, thanks,” Michael says. He doesn’t know how else to respond.</p><p>Jake jumps up, "I'm going with you," he winces, it hurts to talk and his arms are covered in burns.</p><p>Michael doesn’t know how to respond. He just nods a little. “Thanks.”</p><p>"no you're not," Rich says.</p><p>"But,"</p><p>"No,"</p><p>"I am coming with you." Jake sounds adamant. He almost hides the wince from using his broken jaw.</p><p>"Jake Dillinger you don't get to boss me around, not any more, not after what you did."</p><p>"I'm sorry, I didn't mean. I just wanted to help."</p><p>"You can help by covering for me," Rich looks fierce.</p><p>Michael watches them. He’s still fiddling with his sleeve. What’s happening with Jeremy?</p><p>"Stay here," Rich says and crutches away.</p><p>A doctor walks in, "Jeremy's fine he just inhaled too much smoke, we're putting him on oxygen."</p><p>"When's he waking up?" Jake asks.</p><p>"We don't know," the doctor says.</p><p>Michael sighs in relief. “Can I see him?”</p><p>"We will wheel him back in when he's stable, right now I'm going to give your leg an x-ray,” she says, then pauses, "where's Rich?"</p><p>"He needed the restroom," Jake says quickly.</p><p>“Okay,” Michael says. “And yeah, Rich went to the restroom.”</p><p>The doctor wheels him into another room, "this won't hurt at all," she says before twisting his ankle into an unnatural position.</p><p>Michael winces in pain. Are you sure about that, doctor? She does the tests quickly and pushes his bed back where it was. Rich jumped when they entered. When the doctor left Rich threw Michael's hoodie at him</p><p>"it's been sterilized." Rich shrugs</p><p>Michael pulls the hoodie over his head. “Thanks,” he mutters. He goes back to fidgeting with his patches. The doctor comes in with his x-ray thingie.</p><p>Jeremy is wheeled back in, “Jeremy!” Michael yells, relieved at the sight of him. “Oh thank god.”</p><p>An oxygen mask was attached to his face and Jeremy had dozens of tubes sticking out of him, "he's stable for now but if you notice any irregularities call us at once." The doctor spots Michael's face, "I'm certain he'll recover. Talking to him will help."</p><p>“Thank you so much,” Michael says.</p><p>"Shit" Rich whispers under his breath. "What did you do?" His question was directed at Jake who looks away, guilty.</p><p>Michael finds his glasses on a table beside him and puts them on. So that’s why I couldn’t see a thing. He looks at Jeremy. He’s pale and covered in bruises and his leg is in a cast and his head is wrapped in a bandage. It breaks Michael’s heart.</p><p>"I'm sorry," Jake starts but Rich interrupts, "look at what we did, we're worse than that SQUIP." </p><p>"No it's not your fault, it's mine," their conversation was strangely reminiscent of Michael and Jeremy's chats about the SQUIP.</p><p>Jake and Rich continue arguing. Michael closes his eyes and puts his face in his hands. Where are my headphones?</p><p>Rich and Jake's bickering gets louder until it's a full on argument. "You took the mountain dew," Rich accused, it somehow had gone from them blaming themselves to blaming each other. </p><p>"You're the one who said you wouldn't be happy without it." They were yelling, Jake was wincing every time he spoke.</p><p>Michael puts his hood over his head and covers his ears. Shut the heck up. A nurse comes in, he looks at Michael and then at the arguing boys, "am I going to have to split you up?"</p><p>"No," Rich and Jake say in unison, then they see Michael, "maybe put us together, far away."</p><p>The nurse looks at them, stern, "I'll see what I can do," he says and leaves.</p><p>"So," Rich and Jake say, "what now."</p><p>“Shut up for one second okay? Just stop arguing,” Michael snaps. He doesn’t mean to, but he does. He’s too overloaded with how much is going on to care. The beeping of the machine, the arguing, the hospital gown, the people bustling around outside, the hospital gown, the lack of a binder—it’s too much.</p><p>"Sorry," they both murmur then settle into awkward silence. The nurse comes back, "Since your parents are totally loaded you get a room to yourself," he tells Jake, "and for some reason you can bring him," he nods at Rich.</p><p>Michael sighs in relief. “Uh, do you know where my headphones are? I was wearing them when I got here and my moms wouldn’t have taken them away.”</p><p>"They're being sterilized."</p><p>"That means you lost them," Rich says and the nurse doesn't argue.</p><p>"Turns out your ankle is sprained, badly. You're going to have trouble walking for a while."</p><p>Michael sighs. “Okay, thanks.” He grabs his phone from the table next to him and looks at his messages. Nobody messaged him.</p><p>"See you later man," Rich says as he's wheeled out. Jake nods at him</p><p>Michael waves. He looks over to Jeremy. His eyes are barely open. “Hey Jeremy. Can you hear me?”</p><p>Jeremy doesn't respond, he tries but it's like he's trapped in his own body. Michael he yells, internally, please tell me your alright.</p><p>“Uh, if you can’t hear me, I’m just gonna, like, rant to you I guess? Sorry if you can hear me though.” Michael takes a deep breath. “Um, I’m sorry for letting you get hurt. It should’ve been me. I deserve worse than this. And, uh, I’m not sure if you heard the part where Jake was calling me Daisy but...it hurt a lot. I can barely even look at those flowers without wanting to curl into a ball and cry. Hearing him call me that over and over just made me want to take you out of the burning building and go back in. And now I can’t wear my binder for months. I don’t know how bad my ribs are, but they’re definitely worse. And my ankle is sprained. So I can’t really walk. And when I flipped Jake off he broke my finger. So that hurts a lot. Plus I don’t have my headphones so I nearly had a panic attack when Rich and Jake were fighting.”</p><p>Michael no, I'm so sorry, Jeremy cries, I should never have given you that mountain dew, I should never have listened to them. It's my fault, please. Jeremy sobs internally.</p><p>“Uh, yeah. So once you’re awake, if you heard any of that, just...please wake up, okay? I can’t lose you again.”</p><p>Give him a sign, please. Jeremy begs but sure who he's aiming it at. Then he feels a light electric pulse and feels wet sliding down his cheek.</p><p>Michael sees a tear fall down Jeremy’s cheek. He nearly cries in relief. “Don’t cry. You didn’t do anything.”</p><p>Jeremy was backed against a wall of darkness, his SQUIP stood there looking at him, <i>I took red, you should be gone,</i> Jeremy states.</p><p>
  <i>You turned me off but right now you are also off.</i>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>No one believes Michael and all my homies hate the squip</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hate formatting it is evil</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i> Bullshit.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>It seems you have grown smarter, you swallowed a drop of mountain dew, one of the bottles melted whilst falling and a drop landed in your mouth, it had a one in a million chance of happening but here I am.</i>
</p>
<p><i>Go away. I don't want you,</i> Jeremy starts freaking out, his breath quickens and his skin starts to turn red.</p>
<p>
  <i>Calm down you'll only worry Michael, besides I don't have enough energy to do anything.</i>
</p>
<p>Michael sees Jeremy struggling. He stands up a bit too quickly and runs out of the room, dragging his IV thing behind him. He bursts into Rich and Jake’s room. “I need Mountain Dew Red. Now.”</p>
<p>"What?" Rich asks, "er the last if it perished in the fire."</p>
<p>"What do you need it for?" Jake asks, slowly</p>
<p>“Jeremy,” he says. “I bet there’s some in my car or at home. Cover for me, okay?” With that, Michael limps out the building and nearly runs into his moms.</p>
<p>"Michael what are you doing up?" his mom asks</p>
<p>Rich, having grabbed his crutches and starting to follow Michael laughs tensely, "we were looking for the cafe, we got hungry and the food here," he pulls a face.</p>
<p>“Nothing,” Michael says simultaneously. </p>
<p>"Go back to bed we'll get you something." Michael's mom says before leaving.</p>
<p>"Dude what the hell, we don't even know if Jeremy can drink yet why are you so desperate to get him to drink red?" Rich hisses</p>
<p>“Squip,” Michael mutters. “His squip’s back.”</p>
<p>"Why do you think this," said Rich in a calming tone, obviously not believing Michael</p>
<p>“He’s conscious but he’s not awake. Like when my squip turned on.”</p>
<p>"The nurse said he wouldn't wake up for a while. Think about this logically, Jeremy thought you had a squip and that fucked things up let's get some proof first."</p>
<p>“It’s better safe than sorry,” Michael says. “So do you have any or not?”</p>
<p>"No Michael it isn't. Jeremy is seriously injured, forcing liquid down his throat is not a good idea. Anyway we don't have any, it's all used up."</p>
<p>The disbelief in Rich's voice is clear, he clearly thinks Michael is overreacting.</p>
<p>“Fine. Sorry.” Michael starts walking back to his room.</p>
<p>"Wait," Rich yells just as Jake bumps into Michael.</p>
<p>“What?” Michael asks.</p>
<p>"Isn't there a way you can tell if he's got one?"</p>
<p>“How do you think I could tell now? He looked like he was fighting an invisible person. He doesn’t have nightmares like that.”</p>
<p>"Unless you have conclusive evidence I'm not going to help you. Jeremy thought he was doing the right thing when he spiked your drink with mountain dew this doesn't sound any different." Rich goes back into his hospital room and Michael realizes that he's backed into Jake.</p>
<p>Jake hasn’t moved, he kind of froze, unsure what to do.</p>
<p>Michael backs away. “Sorry,” he mutters. He limps back to his room.</p>
<p>Jeremy lay there, helpless. Tubes sticking out of him. Fuck you he says to the squip.</p>
<p>I don't like this any more than you do Jeremy, it isn't ideal working at such a small percentage of my power.</p>
<p>Jeremy scowled, internally his face did not move, get the fuck out of my brain.</p>
<p>Michael gets in his room and sees Jeremy struggling again. He looks around. No Mountain Dew Red.</p>
<p>"Michael" his mom's run into the room, "we got you something," she hands him a chocolate muffin and his headphones, "We also got some stuff for Jeremy," Michael's Mom starts unloading things from her bag, "some flowers to brighten the place up." She looks around for a jug to put them in, finding none she puts them on a table. "They gave me your phone but they will only give Jeremy's phone to Mr Heere and he's away."</p>
<p>Michael's phone had a few messages, one from Rich that reads, ‘seriously do not give Jeremy anything it could hurt him’</p>
<p>Michael puts on the headphones. “Did you guys get any mountain dew red?”</p>
<p>"it was discontinued and it doesn't seem their going to continue it, even with recent events." Michael's Ina replies, "why do you want it?"</p>
<p><i>Please Michael, don't stop fighting for this.</i> Jeremy tries to say. Nothing happens.</p>
<p><i>I have enough energy to do one thing, please don't make me waste it on me shocking you.</i> The squip replies looking bored.</p>
<p>“Jeremy,” Michael says. “I’m pretty sure his squip is back.”</p>
<p>"How?" Michael's mom looks concerned.</p>
<p>“Well, I got him out of a burning building chock-full of Mountain Dew. So there’s a pretty good chance one of those bottles broke.”</p>
<p>"That's very unlikely" Michael's Ina looks concerned, "you've been very stressed recently maybe just relax, ok? There isn't going to be a major disaster."</p>
<p>
  <i>No, no, no. Jeremy sobs internally, that's not true, I need red, please.</i>
</p>
<p>Michael sighs. “Fine,” he says. “But if you find any Mountain Dew Red, can I have it?”</p>
<p>Michael's mom's exchange a look, "when you get home."</p>
<p><i>NO</i> Jeremy screams, terrified he'll be stuck with the squip for that long.</p>
<p><i>Jeremy Heere, stop struggling.</i> The squip commands, shocking him.</p>
<p>Michael sees Jeremy jump. Like he just got shocked. He goes to the cafeteria and looks in the vending machine. There’s no Mountain Dew Red. He asks a nurse. He says there’s none. He keeps looking until a doctor makes him go back into his room. They probably think you’re crazy.</p>
<p><i>The scars,</i> Jeremy says desperate for the squip to stop hurting him and go away, <i>someone will see the scars.</i></p>
<p>
  <i>There are no new scars the squip informs him.</i>
</p>
<p>“Uh, Jeremy, if you can hear me...Do something if your squip is back on. Like move your hand or nod or anything.” Michael sits down on his bed and sighs again.</p>
<p>Jeremy tries, he really does but he can't move. You're not awake the squip tells him, the only reason you can hear him is me. Jeremy ignores him and keeps trying to move. He fails</p>
<p>Michael keeps staring at Jeremy. “I’ll, uh, I’ll take that as a no I guess. Sorry.” He lays on his bed. He shouldn’t have been moving that much—or at all, for that matter. He still doesn’t know what state his ribs are in and he has a broken finger and a sprained ankle.</p>
<p><i>NO, MICHAEL PLEASE I CAN'T MOVE PLEASE,</i> if Jeremy could he would have grabbed Michael and screamed at him.</p>
<p><i>Forget it Jeremy there's no way Michael is going to be able to get you mountain dew red.</i> Jeremy starts to cry, feeling hopeless. The tears appear in his eyes. He's too desperate and terrified to feel the wet on his cheeks.</p>
<p>Michael sees the tears on Jeremy’s cheeks. “Jeremy? It’s okay. I’ll get you some Mountain Dew Red. It might take a while but there has to be some somewhere. I promise I’ll save you, okay? I promise.”</p>
<p>Jeremy's distress and accelerated heart rate did not go unnoticed, a doctor came rushing in and injected something into his arm. Jeremy feels himself fall further into darkness.</p>
<p>“He needs Mountain Dew Red,” Michael says. “Please tell me you have some somewhere.”</p>
<p>"No," the doctor looks at him concerned, "we don't and even if we did the answer is no. He's not ready to drink anything yet, he can when he wakes up. Right now, that's just a choking hazard."</p>
<p>“Fine,” Michael says, What am I supposed to do? His squip is on. I know it is. I can’t just wait forever like before. That’s what caused all of this. If I had just given him the Mountain Dew Red, none of this would have happened. What’s wrong with me? Michael puts his face in his hands.</p>
<p>Michael could hear the voices of Rich and Jake waft down the hall he hears their argument, "That's not how it works, the only way he could tell for certain is if he reactivated his squip."</p>
<p>"Well is there any way we can convince him then?"</p>
<p>"Wait for Jeremy to wake up. Even Mell isn't dumb enough to activate his squip just for Jeremy."</p>
<p>Michael listens to their conversation for a little. If he hacks into his squip again, he could see if Jeremy’s is activated. But he would have to activate his. Is it a risk worth taking?</p>
<p>"Would you do that for me?" Jake asks.</p>
<p>Rich sighs, frustrated, "Of course I would, that's why it's too dangerous to suggest it to him because then he might do it."</p>
<p><i>Yeah, it is.</i> Michael waits for Jake and Rich to walk away, goes to the vending machine, and gets some Mountain Dew. He had some money in his pocket so he bought it. Then he walked back to his room and sat down.</p>
<p>Jeremy lies there, whatever they injected him with hadn't worked because the squip is still there and he can still hear what was going on, the squip tells him that Michael is buying the mountain dew, <i>he can't, he can't, no not for me. Michael you can't help me if you're squiped.</i> </p>
<p>The squip appears, smiling, <i>that's the point,</i> it shocks Jeremy harder than was wise and tears once more flow from Jeremy's eyes.</p>
<p><i>You can't do this,</i> Jeremy yells at it, defiant.</p>
<p><i>Oh yes I can,</i> the squip grins.</p>
<p>Michael opens the soda and takes a sip of it. A searing pain hits him in the head. He falls back onto his bed and holds his head in his hands as if it might split open any second. <i>Accessing,</i> The squip drones as Michael yells in agony, <i>access procedure complete, welcome back,</i> the squip says, taking Jeremy's form.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Just the squip being evil and shocking everyone.<br/>Michael needs a hug</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Michael sits up slowly, “Is Jeremy’s squip on?”</p><p><i>That all depends, Michael,</i> it replies.</p><p>Jeremy could hear Michael's squip, his squip was toying with him, showing off its power.</p><p>“Is it on or not?” Michael demands.</p><p>
  <i>Yes, Jeremy screams, internally.</i>
</p><p><i>It depends if you're going to get rid of me when I answer.</i> Michael's squip replies</p><p>“I don’t have any Mountain Dew Red,” Michael mutters. “How would I get rid of you without it?”</p><p>The squip pauses, <i>I will answer if you agree to upgrade.</i></p><p><i>NO,</i> Jeremy cries, <i>please no,</i> tears fall faster down his face.</p><p>“You wouldn’t be holding this information back if Jeremy didn’t have a squip, would you?” Michael says. “Unless you want me to upgrade so that you can make me give Jeremy some Mountain Dew.” He weighs the odds in his mind. Either you’re alone again with a squip or you’re alone again without a squip. Or you get Jeremy with a squip. “Can’t I, like, force you to tell me?”</p><p>
  <i>I don't see how you could.</i>
</p><p>Michael sighs. “If I upgrade, will you be completely honest? And will the ‘deactivate’ command still work?”</p><p><i>I will be honest.</i> The squip ignores the latter question.</p><p>“And the command?”</p><p>
  <i>You will find out.</i>
</p><p>It’s either this or not knowing. “Fine.” Michael takes a deep breath. “Upgrade.”</p><p>The world glitched for a moment, <i>welcome to your upgrade.</i> The squip smirks, <i>Jeremy Heere does have a squip and he knows what's going on.</i></p><p>Michael mentally slaps himself. “And does the command work or not?”</p><p>
  <i>No.</i>
</p><p>“Of course it doesn’t.”</p><p><i>You can request for me to deactivate,</i> the squip offers, then laughs.</p><p>The end of Rich and Jake's conversation could be heard, "Remember what happened when you activated your squip to help me?" Rich says, "It would be mad if that happened to Michael."</p><p>“Shit.” Michael starts searching the room for Mountain Dew Red, as if it would magically appear, “there has to be another way to turn you off.”</p><p><i>There isn't,</i> The squip lies, Jeremy is requesting to speak with you.</p><p>Michael looks over at him. “Then can I talk to him?”</p><p><i>Please think at me and yes, you can. I have synced with his squip.</i> The Jeremy-squip looks exasperated, like Michael is stupid for not knowing.</p><p><i>Okay,</i> Michael thinks. <i>Then let me talk to him.</i></p><p><i>Michael,</i> Jeremy yells, <i>what did you just do??</i> he sounds scared.</p><p>
  <i>I’m sorry. I didn’t know how else to help you. I’ll find some Mountain Dew Red, okay?</i>
</p><p><i>Ok it's fine,</i> Jeremy thought not sounding at all fine, <i>thanks for knowing, I thought I was fucked,</i> a paise <i>I guess we both are now</i>, Jeremy thinks quieter.</p><p>
  <i>I’m sorry. I had to.</i>
</p><p>Both Michael and Jeremy get an electric shock and they're cut off.</p><p><i>What the hell?</i> Michael thinks.</p><p><i>Do you wish to continue talking to him?</i> His squip asks.</p><p>
  <i>It’s fine. He’s mad at me. He probably doesn’t want to talk to me anyways. But was the shock necessary?</i>
</p><p>The squip sighs, <i>the shock was just a side effect. How will you explain yourself to him?</i> It asks.</p><p>
  <i>I don’t know.</i>
</p><p><i>Agree to talk to him and repeat after me, he'll forgive you.</i>  The squip contorts Jeremy's features into a sympathetic smile.</p><p>
  <i>Okay.</i>
</p><p>Michael's body moves without his consent, grabs the bottle of green and shoves it down Jeremy's throat. <i>No no no no no no no no why?</i> Michael yells. </p><p><i>You said you wanted to talk to him,</i> the squip sounds confused. <i>His squip needs to be fully activated. Why reject the method?</i> Jeremy starts choking on the green, struggling to breathe past it and unable to spit it out.</p><p><i>BECAUSE HE’S CHOKING!</i> Michael tries to help Jeremy but he can’t move.</p><p><i>The doctors will deal with that,</i> says an annoying relaxed looking squip, <i>besides you've got me now.</i></p><p><i>Please,</i> Jeremy thinks at Michael, <i>help.</i></p><p>Michael keeps trying to move. He finally manages to break through the squip’s grasp and help Jeremy. He sits him up and does the ((whatever it’s called that stops people from choking)). Jeremy spits out the soda. Jeremy stays limp in his arms, this feels weird. He thinks then realizes that Michael can hear him, <i>I mean, thanks.</i></p><p>Michael sits down on the chair next to Jeremy’s bed. He lays Jeremy back down and holds his hand. “Please wake up.”</p><p>Then his glorified toaster takes back over. <i>He can't wake up,</i> Jeremy's squip replies, <i>his body is exhausted the soonest he can wake up without any permanent damage in a few days.</i></p><p><i>I'm sorry,</i> Jeremy sounds sad, <i>I'm sorry for being annoyed you activated the squip and I'm sorry I can't wake up.</i></p><p><i>As long as you wake up eventually,</i> Michael thinks.</p><p><i>That all depends,</i> his squip replies.</p><p><i>Depends on what?</i> Michael starts messing with the patches on his hoodie.</p><p>
  <i>You.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Why me? You could use Chloe or Jenna or you could go to another country across the world. So why me?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>You deactivated them and I was sent here as a test run.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>This seems like a bit more than a test run.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>The real thing will be better.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>By better, do you mean you’ll actually help people instead of being a manipulative microwave?</i>
</p><p><i>I have helped the squip looks hurt,</i> the fact that he's Jeremy's face makes it worse.</p><p><i>Michael listen to me,</i> Jeremy thinks, glad that their hands are entwined, <i>do not do as it says, get the red mountain dew-</i> he's cut off by a shock that lasts longer than it should.</p><p><i>Stop!</i> Michael yells, <i>I’ll do whatever. Just leave Jeremy alone, okay?</i></p><p><i>Activate Rich and Jake's squips, </i> his squip says as Jeremy gets shocked one more time. </p><p>
  <i>Fine,</i> Michael says, <i>but maybe later? I’ve moved around too much today. I am in ✨pain✨.</i></p><p>
 The squip shocks him like the killjoy it is, <i>don't use emojis when you think, that shouldn't even be possible,</i> It contorts Jeremy's features into one of disgust, <i>anyway if you play the injury thing right Rich will get close enough for you to strike.</i>

 <i>How do I do that?</i>

</p><p>
 <i>Do I have to do everything for you?</i> It sneers, <i>grab the bottle, hide it in your hoodie and shove it into his mouth when he's close. Is that simple enough for you?</i>
</p><p>
<i>Yeah. Sure,</i> Michael grabs the bottle and puts it under his hoodie. He wants to fight against the squip, but his common sense isn’t working.
</p><p>
<i>If you fail I will shock Jeremy.</i>
</p><p>
<i>I won’t.</i> Michael walks out of his room limping and nearly runs into Rich and Jake.
</p><p>
<i>Michael please don't do this,</i> Jeremy sounds scared, <i>I don't want anyone else suffer.</i>
</p><p>“Oh. Hi,” Michael says, not knowing how to respond to Jeremy. <i>What am I supposed to say?</i></p><p><i>Tell him about how much you miss Jeremy, tell him about Jeremy's burns,</i> the squip says, slowly, like Michael's stupid.</p><p><i>Michael no.</i> Jeremy says, using the tone he normally used to convince Michael not to go after the bullies because it just makes everything worse.</p><p><i>Do you want to stop talking to Jeremy?</i> The squip asks, shocking Jeremy.</p><p>
  <i>Yeah. Sure.</i> it would be easier without Jeremy making him feel worse,</p><p>
  “Uh, Jeremy’s not gonna wake up for a few days. He has a ton of burns all over. Sorry for earlier. I just...I don’t wanna lose him again.”
</p><p>
 Rich moves in closer, the squip clicks it's fingers and Michael starts crying. Rich leans in for an awkward pat on the back.
</p><p>
Michael hugs him, using some initiative, <i>should I do it now?</i>
</p><p>
<i>Yes,</i> the squip sounds exasperated.
</p><p>
Michael pulls out the Mountain Dew. He hesitates for a second. Then he makes Rich drink it. Jake had already walked away, wanting to give Michael privacy.
</p><p>
The squip takes control using one of Michael's hands to cover his mouth and the other to hold his nose, "swallow" it makes Michael whisper in his ear.
</p><p>Michael immediately regrets it. He tries to break out of the squip’s grasp. All he manages is an “I’m sorry.”</p><p>"It's a bit late for that," Rich says, sinking to his knees, "run," he screams and Jake hears him, sees Michael and runs.</p><p>Michael keeps trying to stop the squip. He can’t. <i>Stop struggling, the squip glares at him, I'm shocking Jeremy until you stop.</i> Michael stops. He regrets giving Rich the Mountain Dew. He could’ve found another way to help Jeremy. He just made it worse.</p><p>Rich stands, he clasps Michael on the shoulder, "thank you," he says looking deep into his eyes.</p><p>Michael’s squip takes back over. “You’re welcome,” it says.</p><p>
  <i>You need to rest, it tells him, would you like me to reconnect you with Jeremy?</i>
</p><p><i>Sure,</i> Michael think-mutters.</p><p><i>What happened?</i> even over thought he sounds shaken.</p><p><i>I’m sorry,</i> Michael says.</p><p><i>Nonononononono,</i> Jeremy freaks, <i>promise me you won't do it again.</i></p><p><i>The squip took over and I tried to stop it but it threatened to hurt you,</i> Michael fights back tear, <i>I’m sorry I won’t do it again I’m sorry.</i></p><p><i>I wouldn't make promises like that if I were you,</i> Michael's squip cuts in, disconnecting Jeremy, we're not going to stop hurting him, not until you've got Jake.</p><p><i>No. I can’t hurt him anymore. Please,</i> Michael fights the squip.</p><p>The squip reconnects them, <i>aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah,</i> Jeremy screams and the image of his crying face projected in Michael's mind.</p><p>Michael’s heart breaks, <i>Stop. I can’t hurt him anymore.</i></p><p><i>Will you activate Jake's squip?</i> Jeremy's internal screams grow louder</p><p>
  <i>If you stop hurting Jeremy I’ll activate Jake’s squip, okay?</i>
</p><p>Jeremy keeps screaming for an agonizing few seconds, before the squip decides it’s made its point. <i>Rest now, I need to figure out Jake's next move.</i></p><p>Jake paced his room, run had been their word for if the squip. If they actually wanted the other to run they would yell squip. He punched the wall. Out of all of them he was the least injured.</p><p>He racks his brains for a solution, what had Rich told him about the squip. Michael had worked tirelessly to stop it, he guessed it was his turn but Michael hadn't worked alone... CHRISTINE he realizes, she had helped. He needed to get in contact with her.</p><p>Michael walks back to his room—controlled by the squip—and lays down.  He’s barely in control anymore. He’s trying to fight but he can’t. He passes out on his bed.</p><p><i>Michael?</i> Jeremy thinks.</p><p><i>He can't hear you</i>. Jeremy's squip informs him.</p><p><i>What did you do?</i> Jeremy asks.</p><p>
  <i>Nothing, to him, he will do anything to spare you from pain.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I will wake up and you will lose this control.</i>
</p><p><i>I control when you wake up Jeremy,</i> The squip sounds condescending.</p><p>The squip wakes Michael up after a few hours with a series of electric shocks. “Ow!” Michael says. He receives another shock. <i>Sorry.</i></p><p><i>Get up,</i> the squip says. It still takes the form of Jeremy, <i>time to catch Jake.</i></p><p>Michael stands up and starts walking to Jake’s room. <i>He saw me activate Rich’s squip. How am I supposed to do this?</i></p><p>
  <i>He wants to use Christene in a plot to catch you. All you have to do is pretend to overpower me long enough for him to get close.</i>
</p><p><i>Okay.</i> Michael arrives outside the door of Jake’s room. The squip activates his tear ducts. He walks in.</p><p>"Michael, hey" Jake backed against the wall, he really didn't want to hurt him but he couldn't allow himself to be squipped.</p><p>“Jake help. I, uh, I got control over the squip for a second. I’m sorry. I don’t know where any Mountain Dew Red is. I’m sorry. Please help. I don’t know what to do,” Michael says desperately. He’s being honest about everything besides the squip being off.</p><p>"Look dude hang in there, I'll fix this." Jake says backing further against the wall. Approach him the squip commands.</p><p>Michael comes closer—well, the squip does. Michael wants to stop but he doesn’t want Jeremy to get hurt.</p><p>Jake slides around him and starts backing towards the door, his phone pings and he reads the message before tapping on his phone a few times, "Christene, it's Jake," he keeps his eyes on Michael, "Rich and Michael have a squip, I'm not sure about Jeremy but I know for sure Rich and Michael, I'll try and get over to your place. I'll try not to be squipped.' He laughs nervously. "See ya." His eyes keep on Michael, he holds a hand out, "dude why are you doing this?" He asks, not falling for Michael's act.</p><p>Michael finally breaks through the squip’s grasp. “He’ll do worse than put Jeremy in a coma if I don’t.” He gets shocked in the back of the neck and the squip takes back over.</p><p>
  <i>Try that again and I'll hurt Jeremy, it growls at him.</i>
</p><p>"Dude that's happened before and you fixed it." Jake's slowly backing down the corridor, keeping his eyes fixed on Michael.</p><p>Michael runs out of strength. the squip takes over completely. “I’m doing this because everything will be better, okay? Rich’s life, your life, my life, Jenna’s life, Jeremy’s life—it’ll all just be better.”</p><p>"Look at us, this isn't better." Jake stares at him, "you can fight this Michael, we can cure you and save Jeremy together, just stay strong ok?" Jake says before running off.</p><p>Michael watches him run away. He wants to stop; he wants to stop everything. The squip and everything that it had done. Himself. He’d done too much to forgive himself. He’d hurt Jeremy.</p><p>The squip materializes looking furious, <i>you lied and you failed. Jeremy will pay for this,</i> it forces him to go back to their room and sit in the chair next to Jeremy.</p><p>
  <i>Please don’t do anything to him I’m sorry I won’t mess up again, Michael begs.</i>
</p><p><i>Watch,</i> Jeremy starts screaming, out loud this time his face turning red his heart rate accelerates and the noise becomes unbearable. Michael grabs Jeremy's hand subconsciously and Jeremy holds it in a bone shattering grip.</p><p><i>You're gonna love what he's thinking.</i> The squip grins.</p><p><i>Please don’t do anything to him I’m sorry I won’t mess up again,</i> Michael begs.</p><p>“No no no no no Jeremy please be ok please please please stop it!” Michael yells. <i>Stop it please please please please please stop!</i></p><p>The squips connect them and Michael can hear his thoughts, <i>I'm so sorry Michael I deserve this, it's my fault for leaving you, I should never have agreed, never, I'm so sorry, it's my fault. It's my fault, it's my fault,</i> Jeremy thinks, on loop.</p><p>“No no no it’s not your fault. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have taken the squip and I should’ve looked into it more and I should’ve helped you when I had the chance. I’m sorry.”</p><p>Jeremy doesn't appear to hear him over his own screams, eventually some doctors some rushing in and try to wheel Jeremy out.</p><p>Michael didn’t dare say anything. The squip would hurt Jeremy more.</p><p>"What happened?" A doctor asks him, Jeremy is still clinging on to Michael's hand.</p><p>“Squip,” Michael says. He gets shocked badly. He yelps in pain. “His squip got reactivated.” He gets shocked again, even worse.</p><p>"That's, that can't be possible." The doctor looks scared.</p><p>“He somehow got mountain dew in his system”</p><p>The doctor struggled to remain calm and keep their features blank, "as far as we know squips help people, their methods may be questionable but I've never heard of one doing this." They gesture to the still streaming Jeremy.</p><p>“They don’t help people. They manipulate you.” Michael receives another shock.</p><p>Jeremy's screaming becomes more intense, "let's go somewhere quieter," they grimace and glance at Jeremy's hand which is still latched on to Michael's.</p><p>Michael tries to let go of Jeremy’s hand but he has a death grip. “Uh, I don’t think he’s letting go.”</p><p>"do you think he would be fine if we sedate him?" The doctor asks looking scarily serious.</p><p>“The squip will still be on. It won’t help—he just won’t be yelling. We need Mountain Dew Red.”</p><p>"We just need him to calm down." They say, waving to their college. They inject something into Jeremy and he relaxes everything but his grip on Michael.</p><p>“Just...help him, okay? He needs Mountain Dew Red.”</p><p><i>Have you still not learnt your lesson?</i> His squip asks, either Jeremy keeps his squip or he dies. </p><p>"Why is the squip hurting him?" The doctor asks, trying to look professional and sympathetic but mostly came off as scared.</p><p>“Me,” Michael says. “Uh, don’t give him any Mountain Dew Red. It’ll be worse.”</p><p>The doctor frowns at Michael's sudden change of tune, "that's not really an answer what about you?"</p><p><i>Every second this dumb doctor talks is another second Jeremy is in agony.</i> His squip reminds him.</p><p>“I’m fine, just help him,” Michael mutters. The back of his neck is numb from being shocked so much.</p><p>"Why is Jeremy getting shocked because of you Michael."</p><p>“Just help him, okay? The longer I talk, the longer Jeremy is in pain.”</p><p>"we can't help him until you answer my questions."</p><p><i>Make them drink the mountain dew then run</i>. The squip commands.</p><p>Michael does what he’s told. He can’t let Jeremy get hurt because of him. He tries to run away but Jeremy still has a death grip on him.</p><p><i>Fuck,</i> the squip groans it concentrates for a moment and then it Michael breaks Jeremy's wrist then sprints off.</p><p><i>WHY WOULD YOU MAKE ME DO THAT?</i> Michael think-yells. <i>I upgraded to help Jeremy. If I’m not helping him, you’re not serving your purpose. Aren’t you supposed to be helping me achieve my goal?</i></p><p>
  <i>Actually I was reprogrammed to keep you out of the way by any means possible. Anyway you've already achieved your goal Jeremy loves you and nothing could change that, not even breaking his wrist.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Well he shouldn’t love me. I don’t deserve him.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>True but that doesn't change anything.</i>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you so much for reading and please if you haven't already leave a Kudos, this chapter was hard to format.<br/>If anyone knows an easier way to make italics than &lt; i&gt; [text you want in italics] &lt; /i&gt;  but without the spaces then please tell me.<br/>If I have made any mistakes with the italics leave a comment so I can fix it. (:</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm sorry the last chapter was so badly formatted. I have fixed it now though (:</p><p>tw<br/>scars, self harm (they're talking about it)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>Give Jake the mountain dew and I'll stop electrocuting Jeremy.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Fine. Where is he?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>At Christene's,</i>
</p><p>Michael goes back to his room, grabs his jeans and headphones, and changes. Then he walks out of the hospital, grabbing some crutches on the way. Nobody stops him.</p><p>Jeremy's screams follow him down the corridor along with the anxious mutterings of a the doctors wondering if they should give him more sedative.<br/>
<i>You're going to want to hurry those doctors seem ready to put him in a coma the amount of sedative they're pumping into him.</i></p><p>Michael rushes out the door and gets in his car. He starts it and drives to Christine’s. When he gets there, he knocks on the door. Christine answers, "Michael," her eyes widen, "what are you doing?" The squip let's Michael take control deeming that he had enough incentive to activate Jake's squip.</p><p>“Jeremy’s squip is back on,” so is mine is what Michael wants to say, but he can’t. “He was being shocked badly when I left. I need to talk to Jake.”</p><p>"Jake says you've got a squip to," Christene looks nervous, "he said you activated Rich's squip too."</p><p>“I got control over it. Only for a little while though. Probably another 5 minutes. I really need to talk to him. I’ll stay out here. Just—can I please talk to him?”</p><p>Christine looks hesitant, "you're sure?" She asks.</p><p>“Yeah,” Michael says.</p><p>Christine looks at him warily and opens the door, "he's in my room, if you try anything I swear I will knock you out." Christine sounds fierce.</p><p>Michael walks in. When he goes into Christine’s room, Jake backs away. <i>I can’t do this. Just...take over?</i></p><p><i>No,</i> it sounds smug, <i>you have to show you're not a threat to us or I'll keep hurting Jeremy to get what I want.</i></p><p><i>Fine,</i> Michael looks at Jake. He looks terrified. “Uh, hi Jake. I have like 5 minutes. My squip’s off. It’s actually off this time, I promise. I...the squip is going to kill Jeremy if I don’t give you this.” He pulls out the Mountain Dew and throws it on the bed. He has a smaller can in his pocket.</p><p>Jake looks shocked, "so we've only got five minutes to deactivate Jeremy's squip because I ordered some mountain dew red but Christene thinks she can hack into the squips and deactivate them."</p><p><i>You know what will happen if you let Christene hack into me,</i> The squip warns.</p><p>“Five minutes until my squip comes back on. If it realizes I’m here, Jeremy’s dead. If I don’t activate your squip, I’m the one who will be dead. Just...I’m sorry, okay?” Michael closes the door, locks it, and opens the can of Mountain Dew. He throws it at Jake, the squip helping with his aim. Jake gets most of it in his mouth. “I’m sorry.” Then Michael climbs out of a window. He gets back in his car and drives away.</p><p>
  <i>Well done the squip congratulates him, now we can work on achieving your objective.</i> Somewhere in the distance Christene screams.
</p><p>
  <i><i>When will he wake up?</i> Michael thinks.
</i></p><p>
  <i></i>
</p><p>
  <i></i>
</p><p>
 <i>When he's recovered, his body is exhausted and recent events haven't helped a few days minimum,</i> he squip informs him, <i>would you like me to stop shocking him now?</i> The image of Jeremy floats into Michael's mind, he's stopped screaming and his breath is coming out in small pants, the oxygen mask has been removed and Jeremy fights to breathe.
</p><p>
  <i></i>
</p><p>
  <i></i>
</p><p>
 <i>Yeah, not shocking would help,</i> Michael thinks bitterly. <i>Do I have to do anything else?</i>
</p><p>
 <i>No,</i> Jeremy relaxes, he's still having trouble breathing but the doctors were reattaching the oxygen mask, <i>go back to the hospital, you need rest.</i>
</p><p>
 Michael drives to the hospital. Once he gets out of his car and into his bed, he realizes how much pain he’s in, <i>I should not have been walking that much.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>I removed the pain for what you had to do. Would you like me to continue removing it?</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
 <i>No,</i> Michael thinks, <i>I deserve it.</i> He shifts around in his bed. He’s taking too-shallow breaths because of his ribs and his finger hurts like hell.
</p><p>
 <i>I can make it so you don't deserve it, I can make it so you deserve Jeremy.</i>
</p><p>
 <i>Thanks, but I’m fine. I only have you for Jeremy to wake up. If he wakes up and he hates me, then he hates me. I’d rather deserve him for real.</i>
</p><p>
It shocks Michael, <i>you are keeping me forever. I am the only reason Jeremy will have to talk to you.</i> Then the squip starts flickering and the words <i>`MOUNTAIN DEW RED AT YOUR PLACE TOMORROW.`</i> Spell themselves out in front of Michael. The squip screams in anger, <i>I've been hacked into.</i> It disappears.
</p><p>
 Michael watches the squip disappear. Either it got disabled or it’s trying to fight the hacking. Hopefully the former. Michael wants to get up and look for Jeremy but he’s afraid of what the squip would do when it comes back online.
</p><p>
 Rich stumbles past him, drunk. "Hey" he slurs.
</p><p>
 “Rich? What happened?” Michael asks. He probably wanted to turn off his squip. “I’m so sorry."
</p><p>
 "Shuts it up," he sinks down next to Michael, "we've all been there," he sighs, "this is fucked up."
</p><p>
 “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have taken it.” Michael looks over at Rich. He’s still covered in bandages.
</p><p>
 "Neither should I, or Jeremy or even Jake I forgive them though."
</p><p>
 “But I wasn’t manipulated into taking it. I took it on my own and when it comes back online I’m probably gonna get shocked to death.”
</p><p>
 "You took it because I didn't believe you."
</p><p>
 “But that’s not your fault. I sounded pretty paranoid.” Michael messes with his patches.
</p><p>
 "Jake took it because he thought it would make me happy." Rich laughs, "and Jeremy took it because he was desperate."
</p><p>
“Why did you take it?” Michael asks.
</p><p>
 "Desperate, scared" Rich laughs, "they saw my scars and said they knew how to cure me, I was so messed up and tired of being pushed to the side."
</p><p>
Michael frowns. “I’m sorry. For not talking to you freshman year. I just kind of assumed you were gonna make fun of me because that’s what everyone else does. So I kept myself in a little protective bubble that only Jeremy could come into.”
</p><p>
  "It's fine, I probably would have, my looks weren't the only things keeping people away." Rich leans back, "it didn't help, I just lost control."
</p><p>
  “It’s okay to not be okay,” Michael says. “You needed help and you didn’t get it, so you turned to the first option you were given.”
</p><p>
 Rich laughs, "Its too fucked up. It looks like Jake now, it didn't before but it does now, keeps saying it'll shock him," He laughs, "let it, Jake's the one that rewrote the code and its his fault, maybe he'll feel like being a bit nicer after this," tears slipped from Rich's eyes, "I'm never letting it control me again."
</p><p>
 “I’m sorry,” Michael mutters. “The, uh, it kept saying that it would kill Jeremy if I didn’t squip you guys."
</p><p>
 Rich flinches at the word, "I don't blame you." Rich's eyes are closed, "I would have done the same for Jake. I know it can't kill him though, no matter how much it lies. Jake told me," the tears still fall from his face, "I trusted him y'know and then he took it anyway, I told him it wouldn't help but he didn't listen, he never does."
</p><p>
 “It can’t kill Jeremy?”
</p><p>
 "Tall arse is different it just has to stop keeping him alive. I should have saved him, I owe him that much but I grabbed Jake instead."  he hangs his head.
</p><p>
 “It’s okay Rich. I got Jeremy, you got Jake. They’re both alive, right?”
</p><p>
 Rich is silent for a while, "Why do you forgive me?"
</p><p>
 “You’re not a bad dude, Rich. You’re really nice actually. It’s not your fault that you couldn’t help everyone.”
</p><p>
 "I could have helped the right people and I deserve it, I really do."
</p><p>
 No, you don’t,” Michael says sternly. “You’re trying and that’s enough, okay?”
</p><p>
  Rich looks at Michael, "I'm going to go before I sober up. I’ll stay wasted forever if that's what it takes." he stumbles off.
</p><p>
  <i>Downgrading</i> the squip says, <i>syncing with Jeremy Heere's squip, activating duel downgrade.</i> Flashes of pain light up inside Michael's head, <i>`Duel downgrade complete, Michael Mell, Jeremy Heere you are now synced up curtsy of Christine Canigula.`</i>
</p><p>
  “I swear to god Christine you’re the best human alive.”
</p><p>
 <i>Well this is less than optimal.</i> the squip says, it had changed form to Keanu Reeves, It appears I am now both yours and Jeremy's squip.
</p><p>
 “Cool,” Michael says. How else is he supposed to respond?
</p><p>
 <i>Michael,</i> Jeremy calls to him, <i>what's going on?</i>
</p><p>
 <i>Uh, Christine synced our squips and Keanu Reeves is glaring at me. It’s scary. Is this why you did whatever he said last year?</i>
</p><p>
Jeremy was silent for a long time, reliving memories of the past. <i>It says you're outside, you must be freezing.</i> Jeremy thinks, not answering Michael's question.
</p><p>
 <i>Oh, no, I’m inside. In the hospital still.</i> Michael returns to messing with his patches.
</p><p>
Come into our room, you're moms are here and they're worried. My dad's also worried.
</p><p>
<i>Okay.</i> Michael grabs his crutches and limps towards him and Jeremy’s room. When he walks in, he sees Jeremy’s dad and his moms. “Hi.”
</p><p>
"Michael, where have you been?" his mom runs to him and hugs him, "we've been worried sick."
</p><p>
 Mr Heere sat next to Jeremy, holding his hand, it appeared that he had been crying over his sleeping son. Michael's Ina stood in the corner, her face stormy all the worry she had been feeling turning into anger.
</p><p>
 “I had to ask Christine something and my phone died. The doctor said I could leave for a little while,” Michael says. 
</p><p>
 <i>Nice excuse,</i> his squip smiles. 
</p><p>
  <i>Go away.</i>
</p><p>
 "Michael we asked the doctors and they said they had no idea where you were."
</p><p>
<i> Tell them you told that new one the one that was asking all the questions she'll back you up.</i>
</p><p>
 <i>Don't mis-gender them Jeremy argues.</i>
</p><p>
 <i>I only have two genders in my programming</i>
</p><p>
 <i>Then change it,</i> Jeremy sounds stubborn.
</p><p>
Everyone -bar Jeremy- is still staring at Michael for an answer, they had no idea what was happening.
</p><p>
  “I told that new doctor. They kept asking me random questions and I asked if I could leave and they said yes. Did they not tell anyone? I assumed they would. I’m sorry,”
</p><p>
"It's fine, I'm just happy to see you," Michael's mom hugs him again, right on his bruised ribs.
</p><p>
Michael winces. “Ow.”
</p><p>
"I'm sorry." she moves away quickly.
</p><p>
"Maria," Michael's Ina reminds her softly, "we have something to say."
</p><p>
"It’s fine Mom. What did you guys want to say?” Michael shifts his weight from one crutch to the other.
</p><p>
"Get back into your bed," Maria says ignoring Jasmine. "Are you feeling ok? Do you want me to call a doctor? Get you some painkillers? A drink maybe?" She was stalling for time, something she did before bad news.
</p><p>
“I’m fine.” Michael lays down. He’s really not fine, but he doesn’t want to bother anyone else. “What’s the news?” he asks nervously.
</p><p>
"Well it isn't really news," Maria says, nervous, "We've all decided that you and Jeremy should stop seeing each other for a bit you seem to base your self worth on what the other thinks and that's not a good thing."
</p><p>
"Also every time you run off together you come back hurt." Jasmine chips in.
</p><p>
"So we've decided you need a break from Jeremy," his mom looks at him, nervous.
</p><p>
<i>They can't do that,</i> Jeremy sounds panicked,  tell them they can't do that.
</p><p>
“You can’t do that,” Michael says. “I keep getting hurt because of me. Who else am I supposed to talk to? You just want me to sit in my room alone scrolling through past messages and not doing anything because all of my video games are for two players? You really want me to go back to doing the stuff I’ve been doing for the past year and a half waiting for Jeremy to wake up?” Michael gets up—with some difficulty—and storms out.
</p><p>
 "Michael," Mr Heere is the one chasing after him, "you were stuck at Jeremy's bedside last year, crying and blaming yourself. I'll admit that's something I'm guilty of too but Jeremy needs a break from all this and so do I," Mr Heere runs his fingers through his hair, "you need to find out who you are on your own. Without worrying about Jeremy."
</p><p>
“I can’t just not worry about my best friend of 13 years! If anything, it’ll be worse. There’s nobody else for me to talk to, okay? I don’t care if it’s better for me, I’m not gonna stop talking to Jeremy unless he stops talking to me.” With that, Michael walks out of the hospital and gets in his car. He turns on the ignition and texts <tt>Christine. Any chance you already have the Mountain Dew Red?</tt></p><p>
  <tt>
    <tt></tt>
  </tt>
</p><p>
  <tt>
    <tt></tt>
  </tt>
</p><p>
 <tt>No it'll take a few days for it to arrive,</tt> Christene replies
</p><p>
  <tt>Okay. I may or may not have left the hospital because my moms are confiscating Jeremy from me.</tt>
</p><p>
  <tt>They can do that? Doesn't Jeremy get a say in it?</tt>
</p><p>
 <tt>Jeremy’s still asleep and his dad agrees.</tt>
</p><p>
 <tt>What are you going to do?</tt>
</p><p>
  <tt>I don’t know. How’s Jake?</tt>
</p><p>
 <tt>Tied up.</tt>
</p><p>
 <tt>That’s not good.</tt>
<tt>I’m really sorry for that.</tt>
</p><p>
 <tt>Better than him being free.</tt>  Christine replies, ignoring Michael's apology. They had been the only two people who hadn't upgraded, both of them had had their parents turn on them, both of them had spent a year being abused with no one but each other. They had grown to trust each other and Michael had broken that trust. Christine wasn't ready to face that yet. <tt>The trick I tried with you and Jeremy won't work again, I'm trying to hack into Rich's but it keeps going offline.</tt>
</p><p>
 <tt>Rich is currently wasted</tt>
</p><p>
 <tt>That would explain it, if you see him bring him here. Where are you going anyway?</tt>
</p><p>
Michael's parents are running out the hospital, towards his car.
</p><p>
 <tt>I don’t know. How long will my squip be Keanu Reeves’d?</tt>
</p><p>
<tt>That's just because yours and Jeremy's synced. I suspect it doesn't want to look like Jeremy when Jeremy sees it.</tt>
</p><p>
<tt>Michael puts his car in third gear and pulls out of the hospital parking lot. He drives around aimlessly for a while, eventually ending up in the 7/11 parking lot without remembering how he got there. He pulls into one of the gas things and fills up his tank. Once it’s full, he parks it on the side of the building and walks in. He doesn’t get a slurpee and there’s no Mountain Dew Red. He just gets a Dr. Pepper. He buys it, walks out, and sits in his car for a while, listening to music.</tt>
</p><p>
<tt>I've also made it so if the squip is particularly active in either yours or Jeremy's minds the other will hear it and you both will be telepathic. </tt>
</p><p>
<i>Michael's gone,</i> Michael hears Jeremy think, <i>My fault.</i>
</p><p>
<i>Repeat after me,</i> The squip commands Jeremy, <i>everything about you is so terrible.</i>
</p><p>
<i>Shut up Siri,</i> Michael thinks. He hears Jeremy laugh a little. <i>Don’t worry, I’ll be back once my moms leave. I’m at 7/11 right now.</i>
</p><p>
<i>My dad's not leaving,</i> Jeremy replies, <i>he's worried that I'm in another coma, he wont stop crying.</i>
</p><p>
<i>And its your fault,</i> his squip tells him, annoyed at being interrupted.
</p><p>
<i>Dollar Store Keanu Reeves, I have something to tell you: nobody cares. Anyways, I’ll just wait until he’s asleep to come in, kay?</i>
</p><p>
 <i>Kay,</i> The squip shocks Jeremy, <i>Can you tell it to deactivate?</i>
</p><p>
The squip shocks Jeremy again, <i> How am I supposed to improve you if you keep shutting me down?</i> Jeremy's thoughts become blurry and panicked as he remembers the last time the squip threatened to 'improve his life'.
</p><p>
“Deactivate,” Michael says. The squip disappears like the fish he had in 3rd grade. <i>Anyways, now that Pikachu TicTac is gone, do you want a slurpee? You can’t, like, drink it, but it’s the thought that counts.</i>
</p><p>
<i>Sure,</i> Jeremy thinks, laughing slightly. Then he goes serious, <i>fuck they're doing more surgery on me. I wish the sedatives actually worked. Don't talk to me until it's over alright?</i> Jeremy thinks, worried that Michael will hear him in pain, It's the squip's fault he can still feel pain, even sedated and because he was asleep no one had given him painkillers. He suspected vaguely these people were only doctors because of their squip.
</p><p>
<i>Okay,</i> Michael says. He stops listening to Jeremy but checks in with him every once in a while.
</p><p>
 Jeremy wishes he could bite his lip or do something. They set his wrist and he screamed internally, <i>fuck fuck fuck,</i> he thinks, trying to keep his thoughts disconnected from Michael's. <i>Why does my wrist even hurt?</i> He questions internally
</p><p>
 Michael pulls out of the 7/11 and drives home. He sees his moms’ cars in the driveway and continues driving around. He ends up stopping at Jeremy’s house and going inside. He walks into Jeremy’s room and collapses on his bed.
</p><p>
 <i>Michael,</i> Jeremy calls to him when the pain becomes unbearable, <i>activate the squip I need it to turn off the pain.</i> Then Jeremy starts screaming, internally.
</p><p>
 “Activate,” Michael says.
</p><p>
 <i>Finally decided to upgrade again?</i> the squip asks.
</p><p>
 <i>No, turn off Jeremy’s pain stuff. You know, the things that make him feel pain. If you don’t, I’m getting Mountain Dew Red.</i>
</p><p>
 <i>You're getting it anyway. I have no incentive to help,</i> it sounds bored.
</p><p>
<i>When the fuck did I hurt my wrist?</i> Jeremy’s definitely not freaking out.
</p><p>
 <i>The squip made me break your wrist. Sorry,</i> Michael mutters. <i>Now, if you don’t help Jeremy I’ll watch porn. I know you hate that stuff. And I’ll make sure you stay on the whole time.</i>
</p><p>
Jeremy laughs and the squip sighs, <i>This once I will help.</i>
</p><p>
Jeremy feels the pain turn off, <i>Thank fuck.</i> He's silent for a second, recovering from the pain, <i>wait the squip made you do what?</i>
</p><p>
 <i>You were holding my hand too tightly and the squip decided to kill your hand.</i>
</p><p>
 <i>That's messed up.</i> Jeremy's quiet for a moment, did you break your promise or did Christine turn the shock off? Jeremy dreads the answer, he couldn't forgive himself if Jake was squiped because of him.
</p><p>
<i>I’m sorry Jeremy. It was shocking you and the doctors didn’t believe me when I said it was the squip and—I shouldn’t have done it. I’m sorry.</i>
</p><p>
<i>You promised,</i> Jeremy sounds disappointed Michael had broken a promise, that wasn't something that made sense in Jeremy's brain. <i>You can't have.</i> Michael didn't break promises, not ones to him anyway.
</p><p>
<i>I’m sorry. It was my fault. I shouldn’t have given Rich the squip and I shouldn’t have let you get it in the first place.</i> Michael tries to lay on his side but it hurts, so he just stays on his back. Eventually he gets up and lays on his stomach, face-first into the pillow.
</p><p>
<i>You didn't let me get it,</i> Jeremy sounds sad, <i>you didn't know what it would do, no one did. You let me get something that would help me and make me happier. It's not your fault that wasn't true,</i> Jeremy sighs, then, panicking he yelps, <i>disconnect,</i> and they stop hearing each other's thoughts.
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I honestly think I haven't made them suffer enough yet...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><i>Jeremy?</i> Michael asks. Jeremy doesn’t answer. He sighs. “So Toaster, can you, like, play music? My radio’s broken and my phone’s nearly dead.”</p><p><i>You're in Jeremy's room, find a charger,</i> it replies, distracted. </p><p>Michael gets up and starts looking for a charger. He finally finds one and plugs his phone in. It displays a bunch of messages from his moms. He ignores them and opens Netflix, resuming The Politician.</p><p><i>Jeremy's in critical condition. The smoke got in Jeremy's lungs and Jake kicked one. Jeremy started coughing. His lung collapsed.</i> It sounds quiet, diverting its attention onto keeping Jeremy alive.</p><p>"What!" Michael yells jumping up and sprints to his car—it hurts a lot given that he left his crutches by Jeremy’s bed. He gets in his car and starts driving to the hospital. He nearly crashes into three people. They all flip him off. He gets to the hospital and almost forgets to turn the car off. He sprints into the building.</p><p><i>You can drive at a normal speed the squip snaps at him, the only reason I told you about it is Christene programmed me to. Anyway there's no way they'll let you in until he’s stable.</i> The squip sounds vaguely amused.</p><p><i>I know that! You can’t just tell me that Jeremy has a collapsed lung and expect me not to panic,</i> Michael walks into the waiting room and goes to the front desk thing. “Can you tell me when I can see Jeremy Heere?”</p><p>
  <i>I was wrong his rib punctured his lung. Panicking won't help him.</i>
</p><p>"I'm sorry but only family can visit him right now."</p><p>Michael looks down. “Thanks anyways.” He walks over to one of the chairs and sits down. I’m not leaving till I can see Jeremy, so if my moms come, tell me so I can hide in the bathroom.</p><p>
  <i>No, I have no incentive to do so and you definitely won't be watching porn here because you'll get kicked out. I could also use that doctor to kick you out.</i>
</p><p><i>Fine,</i> Michel mutters.  He bounces his leg anxiously and puts his headphones over his ears. He puts on some music to calm his nerves. <i>Just make sure Jeremy doesn’t die, okay?</i></p><p>
  <i>I am trying my hardest.</i>
</p><p>"Michael!" Christine calls, "Michael is Jeremy alright?" She stops just short of him looking uneasy.</p><p>
  <i>Jeremy wants you to tell his dad that it's not his fault. He has instructed me to pass on a message if he does not make it.</i>
</p><p><i>He’s going to make it,</i> “Uh, he has a collapsed lung. He’s in the ICU at the moment,” Michael mutters. He doesn’t show any emotion on his face.</p><p>"That's awful," Christene looks sympathetic, "is the squip helping? I reprogrammed it to help if something like this happens,"</p><p>“The sedatives weren’t working so the squip is helping with the pain,” Michael says.</p><p>"It's the squips fault the sedatives aren't working, I'll have to fix that." She takes a few steps backwards. Hugging herself, her unease obvious.</p><p>Michael pulls off his headphones. “Jeremy will be fine, right?” he asks quietly. “He has to. He can’t not be fine.”</p><p><i>It's indeterminable.</i> The squip says.</p><p>At the same time Christene says, "I'm sure he'll be fine." She can't stop remembering last time she saw him he activated Jake's squip and then Jake had attacked her, she had been lucky to overpower him.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Michael says. “I shouldn’t have activated my squip and I shouldn’t have activated Rich and Jake’s. I was stupid and I know I don’t deserve to be forgiven but I’m sorry.”</p><p>"I forgive you but it's hard, y'know. I walk in, you’re gone and Jake jumps at me." She looks down, "it was awful. It hurts as well. We could only really talk to each other for a year and you didn't even give me a sign, I would have helped."</p><p>“I’m sorry. I overheard Rich and Jake saying something about how the only way to know if Jeremy’s squip was back was to get a squip and I didn’t know what else to do and I just activated my squip. I know that’s not a good explanation but I was scared that I would lose Jeremy again.” Michael messed with his patches more. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>Christine bites her lip, "it's not ok and it's going to take me a while to get over it but I forgive you," She jumps over to him and hugs him.</p><p>Michael hugs her back surprisedly. He didn’t realize how much he needed a hug. He nearly starts sobbing in her arms.</p><p>“It's alright," she whispers soothingly, patting him on the back, "he'll be ok."</p><p>“But what if he isn’t?” </p><p>
  <i>He is in stable condition. There is, however, about a 48% chance that his lung will collapse again within the recovery period, his squip says.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>That's not helping.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I'm not trying to help Michael. I was instructed to give you all the facts.</i>
</p><p>"He will be, he's survived too much not to." Christine soothes. Guiding him to a chair and sitting next to him, "I got you a hot chocolate." She offers him a flask.</p><p>Michael takes the flask. “Thank you.” He takes a sip. I freaking love hot chocolate.</p><p>
  <i>I know.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Can I think without you talking?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>This is quite enjoyable actually. Your annoyance, I mean.</i>
</p><p>Mr Heere comes out, looking disheveled, he spots Michael, rubs his eyes and looks again, "hi."  He says before sitting down. He looks shaken he had almost lost his son.</p><p>“How’s Jeremy?” Michael asks desperately.</p><p>"He's stable."</p><p>
  <i>For now.</i>
</p><p>"He's got so much stuff attached to him," Mr Heere pauses, "It's like last time."</p><p>
  <i>Jeremy wants you to tell him that it's not his fault.</i>
</p><p>“Uh...Jeremy wanted me to tell you that it’s not your fault,” Michael says. He takes another sip of the hot chocolate.</p><p>"When?" Mr Heere looks startled, "did he wake up?"</p><p>“It’s a long story.” Michael fiddles with his sleeve.</p><p><i>Well done,</i> the squip sounds sarcastic.</p><p>"I don't really have time, his mom heard about him and has decided to come back." He looks like he's about to cry.</p><p>“She what?” Michael says. “She can’t—why would she not come when he’s in a coma for a year? Why now?”</p><p>"I don't know, I don't care." He sounds tired, "I'm going to find some coffee and you should talk to your moms, you can't avoid them forever." He walks off, looking depressed.</p><p>Michael turns back to Christine. She looks confused, “once again a long story.”</p><p>"It appears we have time." She responds, taking the flask off him, pouring a cup and handing the cup to him.</p><p>Michael took a sip from the cup. He slouched more in his seat and waited for the earth to swallow him.</p><p>"I'm giving you ten minutes then you are either telling me about Jeremy's mom or talking to your moms," she says.</p><p>Michael debates for a moment. Either tell Christine private information about Jeremy’s family or talk to your moms who want you to stop talking to your best friend. “I’ll talk to my moms.”</p><p>
  <i>I think you should recover, you're not getting any better and you forgot your crutches.</i>
</p><p>"Don't run out on them," Christene commands, "also drink up, my turn next."</p><p>Michael takes a big sip of hot chocolate and hands it to Christine. “I won’t. But I may or may not have forgotten my crutches at Jeremy’s.”</p><p>"That's more incentive not to run away," Christene says handing the cup back, after taking a sip.</p><p>
  <i>Don't drink it. You'll get fatter. Hand it back to her.</i>
</p><p>Michael hands the cup back and crosses his arms over his chest. “I’m fine.” He shouldn’t be listening to the squip, but it hit a nerve.</p><p>"Drink," Christene orders, "and I know it's the squip just ignore it."</p><p>
  <i>She's being nice, you're fat and you definitely shouldn't be drinking this.</i>
</p><p>“No, I’m fine,” Michael mutters. “I’m kind of overheating in my hoodie.”</p><p>Christine frowns at him, "it's cold."</p><p><i>Ignore it,</i> Jeremy's voice calls to him, softly, <i>I love you the way you are. He sounds tired and weak.</i></p><p>Michael takes the drink and takes a small sip. It doesn’t taste as good because of what the squip said.</p><p>"Are you going to tell Jeremy about his mom?' Christene asks.</p><p>“Yeah. I will,” Michael says. “For now, I should go home. I can’t live in Jeremy’s room forever.”</p><p>"Call your parents, you shouldn't be driving like this." Christine says.</p><p>
  <i>Don't tell Jeremy about his mom, it'll make him anxious.</i>
</p><p>“Okay,” Michael says. He walks—well, tries to walk—outside to call his mom.</p><p>Christine helps him limp outside, she's surprisingly strong. <i>Michael I need your confirmation you won't tell him the squip persists.</i></p><p><i>I’ll tell him once he’s in less pain,</i> Michael thinks. <i>I don’t want to kill him from shock.</i> Michael pulls his phone out of his pocket and dials his mom’s number.</p><p>"Michael where are you," his Ina picks up, "your mom is crying. We've been looking all over for you." She sounds furious.</p><p>“I’m back at the hospital,” Michael says. “Jeremy has a collapsed lung.”</p><p>"I'm coming to pick you up, don't you dare run off again." </p><p>"She sounds really angry, here take the hot chocolate then I'll have an excuse to come over later." She smiles at him, "Jeremy will recover." She promises.</p><p>“Thanks,” Michael says. Christine smiles and walks away. He stares at the hot chocolate, the squip’s words repeating in his head. Or maybe the squip’s actually repeating them. He’s not sure. He doesn’t take a sip of the drink.</p><p>"Get in the car." Jasmine says when she sees him.</p><p>Michael stumbles over to the car. He nearly falls over twice. Why the heck did I leave my crutches at Jeremy’s?</p><p><i>Because you’re an idiot,</i> the squip says.</p><p>"Back seat," she orders, "front seat is for people who don't run away."</p><p>Michael sighs and gets in the back of the car. “My car’s still here,” he says.</p><p>"We'll deal with that later." She says, sharply.</p><p>“Okay,” Michael mutters. He takes a deep breath—it hurts. “I’m sorry about earlier. I just...I can’t just stay away from Jeremy. It’s not that easy. It would be like if you moved out and couldn’t see Mom.”</p><p>"That's different, I remember a time before your mom besides whenever I see her I don't come back covered in bruises."</p><p>“It wasn’t Jeremy, okay? He didn’t do anything.” Michael slouches in his seat.</p><p>"The fact still remains, we've spoken to Mr Heere about it and he agrees you've both gotten hurt too much recently and need to be kept an eye on."</p><p><i>They're separating you in hopes that his mom won't see you together. She never accepted you, she never accepted your parents. She won't accept Jeremy's sexuality or attraction to you,</i> the squip informs him while they drive in silence.</p><p>When they reach Michael's house his ina turns to him, "that wasn't an ok thing to do." She gazes at him, her eyes lingering on his bruises, his burns, the way he puts more weight onto one foot, "I got your crutches" she stands, grabs them, hands them to him and starts walking into the house.</p><p>Michael grabs his crutches. “Thanks,” he walks into his house after her, leaning heavily against his crutches.</p><p>"Give me your phone, I've already confiscated your games," his ina holds her hand out, when they get in.</p><p>
  <i>She's confiscated all electronic devices, I am the only one that remains, it sounds smug.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I would deactivate you but you’re actually helping Jeremy.</i>
</p><p>Michael pulls his phone out of his pocket and hands it to his ina. “Can I sit down?”</p><p>"Sure," his mom looks like she's going to start crying again.</p><p>"I'm going to go make dinner." Jasmine announces before leaving.</p><p>Michael goes over to the couch and sits down. “Uh, I can’t wear my binder for a while. Until my ribs recover.”</p><p>His mom looks indecisive, torn between sympathy and telling him off, "that's awful sweetie," she sits next to him, "can I hug you?"</p><p>“Yeah. Just not too tight,” Michael mutters. His mom hugs him. He hugs back fairly tight, but not too tight.</p><p>She hugs him lightly, cradling him like he was a kid again, "I'm sorry," she whispers into his hair, crying again, "I'm sorry all this has happened we've got to start trusting each other again. So I've taken a few days off work and we're going to work on building trust, no distractions."</p><p>“Thanks Mom,” Michael says, “don’t cry, it’s okay.”</p><p>Jasmine walks in on them, "Maria a word," she motions to her.</p><p>"I'm in the middle of something,"</p><p>"Now." </p><p>Maria stops hugging Michael and heads over to Jasmine. Muffled shouts could be heard, "why do I always have to be the bad guy, he ran away twice."</p><p>"We can't be mean to him look at what he's been through."</p><p>"He needs to learn he can't act like that."</p><p>Michael wants to put on his headphones and stop listening, but he doesn’t. <i>I deserve to have to listen to this.</i></p><p><i>Stop thinking like that, Jeremy will be able to hear us in two minutes thanks to Christine,</i> the squip sounds sulky, <i>this is less than ideal.</i></p><p>
  <i>How is Jeremy?</i>
</p><p><i>I don't have the power to block all the pain so mostly in pain. His chances of recovery haven't really changed.</i> The squip sounds annoyed at admitting its own weakness.</p><p>
  <i>If you were to divert all of your energy to helping Jeremy, would you be able to block all of the pain? ‘Cause you don’t have to be talking to me.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>You both have different squips just because now we are transferring data doesn't mean we have equal power, I can't transfer power contactless.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Wait so squips aren’t, like, bluetooth?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I’m a pill size superior computer. How much do you think they could fit inside me? Jeremy will be able to hear us in, 10 seconds.</i>
</p><p>Michael counts down the time, <i>Jeremy?</i></p><p><i>Michael!</i> Jeremy sounds ecstatic to hear him, <i>I asked the squip if I could talk to you but it said no, how are you? What's happening?</i></p><p><i>His dad is sitting next to him crying,</i> the squip informs.</p><p><i>He didn't need to know that,</i> Jeremy sounds annoyed and just a bit shaken.</p><p><i>I’m fine, my parents took away my phone, so this is pretty much the only way I can talk to you.</i> Michael debates telling him about his mom or not.</p><p><i>I can't use my phone anyway,</i> Jeremy does not sound happy, <i>apparently I'm waking up in a day though,</i> he tries to keep it light.</p><p><i>You might wake up in a day, it depends on how willing your lungs are to cooperate,</i> the squip sounds annoyingly smug.</p><p>
  <i>Shut up</i>
</p><p><i>That’s good!</i> Michael tries to sound optimistic.</p><p>
  <i>Why is dad crying? He hasn't stopped, the squip won't tell me and it's not like I can ask him.</i>
</p><p>The squip materializes and glares at Michael, shaking its head. In the background Michael's parents continue to argue.  Michael looks at the squip. It was reprogrammed to not hurt him and Jeremy. If it thinks he shouldn’t tell Jeremy, it probably has good reasoning. <i>I’m not sure.</i></p><p><i>Oh, well he's holding my hand pretty tight which isn't good it's the one with the broken wrist and all... Jeremy trails off, are you sure you're fine? I know I just had a brush with death but your parents said they were separating us and you don't have your phone...</i> Jeremy starts waffling.</p><p>
  <i>It’s fine. We’ll just find another way to talk without them knowing, okay?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>We are talking without them knowing but that's not the problem, you're in trouble and it's my fault.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>It’s not your fault. None of this is your fault. It’s the squip’s, okay?</i>
</p><p><i>I’m right here,</i> the squip says, pretending to be hurt.</p><p><i>Shut it.</i> Michael shoots it a glare, then returns to speaking to Jeremy. The squip literally made Jake kidnap me and beat me up. That’s not either of our faults, Michael says. He thinks it’s his fault, but he doesn’t say that.</p><p><i>It's not my fault either, it was the one in Jake's brain.</i> The squip sulks. <i>Michael's parents are arguing over how to punish him for running off, twice.</i> The squip says, hoping it would stop Michael saying stuff against it. The squip still wants Jeremy to trust him.</p><p>
  <i>WHAT? THAT’S NOT A FINE THING, MICHAEL! YOU HAVE TO TELL ME ABOUT THIS STUFF!</i>
</p><p><i>I didn’t wanna worry you!</i> Michael thinks, glaring at his squip. <i>It’s nothing, okay?</i> The squip smirks at him. </p><p><i>It's not nothing,</i> Jeremy sighs, <i>it hurts,</i> in his experience parents arguing is never pleasant.</p><p><i>They’re arguing because of me. I deserve it,</i> Michael thinks, more to himself, and immediately regrets it. <i>Shit. Sorry. I forgot you can hear my thoughts.</i></p><p><i>Micha,</i> Jeremy sounds heartbroken, <i>you don't deserve this. You don't deserve any of this. You saved humanity and free will; you deserve the gratitude of the world. Not this.</i></p><p><i>He did start it,</i> The squip pipes in. </p><p><i>Shut the fuck up! You ruined my life and put me in a fucking coma!</i> Jeremy yells at the squip, <i>He’s the reason I'm happy.</i></p><p>
  <i>The squip’s right. I started this.</i>
</p><p><i>No you didn't,</i> Jeremy insists, <i>you were trying to look out for me, I'm equally to blame.</i></p><p><i>You didn’t do anything,</i> Michael starts messing with his patches again, <i>I wasn’t a good enough friend.</i></p><p>
  <i>That's exactly what I did wrong, I did nothing. I should have realised the coma was a lie, it's not normal to dream about people you've never met. Then I didn't help you, you needed help and I didn't help. You've been pulling all the weight in this friendship. I need to be a better friend.</i>
</p><p>Michael frowns, <i>you’re the best friend I could ask for, okay? The squip is just an asshole.</i></p><p>
  <i>No I agree with Jeremy on this, he is useless.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Jeremy, you’re not useless, Michael says sternly.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>He's totally useless, the squip says.</i>
</p><p><i>That's not what I meant, I just meant we're equally to blame and if we can forgive each other we can forgive ourselves,</i> Jeremy ignores the squip.</p><p>
  <i>No i don't like this but go back to the part in which you were saying that you are useless.</i>
</p><p><i>I forgive you</i>, Michael thinks instantly, also ignoring the squip.</p><p><i>Then forgive yourself</i>, Jeremy responds.</p><p>Michael hesitates. <i>Fine. I forgive myself,</i> he lies.</p><p>
  <i>And I forgive you to. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>Jeremy.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Shut up.</i>
</p><p><i>Your dad,</i> the squip shows Michael the hospital room where Mr Heere was talking, about Jeremy's Mom and her return to their life. It wasn't good.</p><p>Michael puts his head in his hands. <i>I was literally just about to tell you that.</i> The squip glares at him.</p><p><i>You knew? He told you before me? Wait you said you didn't know why he's crying,</i> Jeremy falls silent as his dad continues.</p><p>"She wants to take you away, she says I can't be a good influence on you." He sobs at his son.</p><p>
  <i>Jeremy starts panicking, why didn't you tell me?</i>
</p><p>“Because I didn’t want you to die of shock,” Michael mutters, then remembers, <i>I was gonna wait a little while to make sure you were okay and then I was gonna tell you. And I’m not a good influence. I’m the reason all of this happened.</i></p><p>
  <i>Michael doesn't say that! You really think I would be better off with her, she left us, she left me that's her fault. There's no way it could be yours.</i>
</p><p>"She wants to add you to her perfect life," his dad adds, "I don't think I can lose you again."</p><p><i>I’m sorry,</i> Michael says. <i>She wouldn’t be coming back if I had just protected you and didn’t just sit back and watch you get beat up.</i></p><p>
  <i>Actually I convinced her to come back in a last ditch attempt to get Michael to upgrade ages ago, unfortunately she doesn't like you Jeremy.</i>
</p><p><i>You didn't sit back, you were injured, plus you saved my life.</i> Jeremy replies trying to ignore the squips comment, trying to pretend it hadn't stung.</p><p><i>Squip, you’re not helping.</i> Michael glares at it for a second.</p><p>
  <i>I know.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>You saved my life and got you a collapsed lung in the process.</i>
</p><p><i>That's the squips fault for making Jake kick me like that,</i> Jeremy sounds miserable.</p><p>
  <i>Yes, blame everything on me.</i>
</p><p><i>It's your fault,</i>  Jeremy sounds indignant.</p><p>
  <i>Agree to disagree.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Is there a way to shut the toaster up?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>No, Jeremy needs me for the pain.</i>
</p><p>Jeremy opts to try and ignore it, <i>Michael it's not your fault, please you've got to understand that,</i> Jeremy's close to tears.</p><p>
  <i>No, I think Michael should blame himself because then he'll interfering with me.</i>
</p><p>Michael stops. He doesn’t want to make Jeremy sad. <i>Okay. It’s not my fault,</i> he says. He doesn’t actually believe it but Jeremy buys it.</p><p><i>No, it is your fault. Even taking all of the squips’ actions into account—including my actions—it still appears to be you who is at the root of Jeremy’s squip problems.</i> The squip chastises.</p><p>
  <i>That's not true, it is the squips fault. It's the one that made my mom come back, not you, without you I would be dead, without the squip we would be in your basement playing apocalypse of the damned.</i>
</p><p><i>That would be fun,</i> Michael thinks. He looks into the kitchen. His moms are still fighting. His games are stacked on the counter. He slips his headphones over his ears.</p><p>
  <i>You should be doing more physical activities, video games are not physical activity.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Fuck off being in a coma wasn't physical activity.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>That was different.</i>
</p><p>The squip and Jeremy's arguments fade into the background as Jasmine walks in, "I'm sorry Michael, we've decided that we're going to be nicer on account of everything that's happened," She sounds annoyed, "so we've decided to play exploding kittens*."</p><p>
  <i>Take your headphones off they annoy her.</i>
</p><p>I literally need to keep my headphones on when there’s stuff going on, dude. I’m sorry if my panic attack prevention is inconvenient, Michael says. He takes them off anyways. “Thanks,” he mutters.</p><p><i>Just concentrate on breathing,</i> Jeremy says.</p><p><i>Shut up I've dealt with your panic attacks before,</i> the squip snaps at him.</p><p>
  <i>Not a good thing.</i>
</p><p>"Your mom brought it a few days ago, she thought you might like it," she deals out the cards, "the game itself looks pretty self explanatory, just read what it says on the card." She explains the rest of the rules.</p><p>Michael takes a few deep breaths. “Okay, cool.”</p><p>She nudges over to him a pile of cards, "Maria we're ready," she calls to her wife and picks up her own hand.</p><p>Ask her about Jeremy's mom. The squip says. Jeremy is silent, he doesn't trust himself not to reveal how hurt he is that Michael didn't trust him with the information and the fact his mom doesn't like him.</p><p>"I'm just going to pick up a card."</p><p>Michael hears his mom walking into the room. He fights the urge to put his headphones on. “Okay.”</p><p>
  <i>Ask them. The squip urges.</i>
</p><p>Maria puts down two of a kind and asks Jasmine for a card, a look of anger flashes in her eyes before she takes a breath, fans out her cards and lets her significant other pick.</p><p><i>Ask them now before they think up a response</i>. The squip says, Jeremy stays silent, scared of what would be said.</p><p>Michael debates whether to listen to the squip or not. He decides to comply, “is Jeremy’s mom coming to see him?”</p><p>Immediate silence, "Yes dear she is." His mom finally says, trying to keep her composure, "what made you ask?"</p><p>
  <i>Tell them that Mr Heere told you.</i>
</p><p>Jeremy whimpers and it sounds almost as if he's crying.</p><p>“I overheard Jeremy’s dad saying something about it,” Michael says. He’s not lying entirely—he did hear Mr. Heere talking about it to Jeremy.</p><p>
  <i>Shut up Jeremy, the squip growls at him, don't you want to know what your mom is planning?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Jeremy's definitely crying but he tries to keep quiet.</i>
</p><p>"Oh, well it is true, she's coming back."</p><p>"And what did you offer to do?" Jasmine pushes.</p><p>"And I said that we would stay out if their hair until she left, she never really liked us anyways so I thought it would be easier."</p><p>"She wants to take Jeremy away how is making him more like the person she wants him to be going to stop that?"</p><p>"I was just trying to help." Maria glares at Jasmine.</p><p>"Well that's the reason your punishment will last so long."</p><p>"He said that would be wise, he wanted us to go." They start yelling at each other again and Jeremy won't stop crying.</p><p><i>I knew I should have removed those memories.</i> The squip sighs.</p><p>Michael tries not to put his headphones back on. There’s too much going on. He looks between his moms. They keep arguing. He puts his headphones back on and tries to block it out.</p><p><i>Go to your room, we're not getting anything else out of them,</i> he squip sighs, <i>stupid human emotion.</i></p><p><i>But they’ll think I’m rude,</i> Michael looks away from his moms.</p><p>
  <i>They're not going to notice, at this rate you will be sitting here until tomorrow, just tell them your tired and sneak down later for food. That's what Jeremy used to do.</i>
</p><p><i>Fuck off</i>, Jeremy thinks at it, he doesn't sound as enthusiastic as he would have liked.</p><p>Michael gets up and grabs his crutches. He walks away. His moms don’t notice. Maybe they were getting divorced while Jeremy was in the coma for a reason, he thinks to himself. He arrives in his room and collapses on his bed.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>*exploding kittens is a real game that I enjoy playing <strike>please sponsor me</strike>. It is a game of incredible skill and wit (not really) and I 100% always win, defiantly, totally.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Tw:<br/>Idk if this is a tw but better safe than sorry, it's basically the same as the party scene with the squip freezing Jeremy to the bed and being forced to drink something. Not described in great detail but there we are</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><i>I'm sorry</i>, Jeremy thinks at him, glumly.</p><p><i>It’s not your fault.</i> Michael thinks immediately.</p><p>
  <i>I shouldn't have taken the squip, it was selfish and now it's broken apart your parents.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>He's right, it was me who did that, I planted the thoughts into their brains and now they're arguing it out like I planned. He was a causation.</i>
</p><p>Michael turns over and buries his face in his pillow. He nearly starts crying but then he remembers that Jeremy can hear him, <i>and how could I stop their arguing?</i></p><p>
  <i>Why should I tell you?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Because you're supposed to make our lives better, Jeremy argues.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>That's it, I'm putting you to sleep.</i>
</p><p>Jeremy falls silent and Michael starts to cry.</p><p>The squip ignores him, <i>you may experience some of Jeremy's dreams, that's why I didn't let him sleep properly before. I have absolutely no idea how it will affect you</i>. It sighs as Michael keeps crying, <i>Make them co operate over something, they need to be reminded how to work together as a team.</i></p><p>
  <i>How am I supposed to do that? I can’t do anything right.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>You stopped me. I did come back but you didn't exactly fail.<i> The squip sounds uncomfortable.</i></i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>Is this your attempt at consoling me? Because you’re actually doing fairly decent.<i></i></i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i><i>No, I very much stand by the idea that you're a failure and would have made things so much easier if you just agreed to upgrade,</i> it lies. The squip may be an evil supercomputer but it was supposed to improve people’s lives not crush them completely and Michael was nowhere near a failure, not many people could walk into a network of squips and come out on top.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i><i>Fair enough.</i> Michael is still crying, but less so. It’s kind of hard to cry when Keanu Reeves is standing over you.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>
          <i>What I meant by that was you can do some things right and since it's in my best interests you not getting hurt, reminding your parents of what it was like before me is probably a good idea. It glitches for a moment, Jeremy's started dreaming, I would advise you to go to sleep for this, I've no idea what it would do to a conscious mind.</i>
        </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Michael watches the squip disappear, probably because Jeremy fell asleep. He takes off his glasses and headphones and puts them on his bedside table. Then he crawls back onto his bed. Eventually, he falls asleep.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>"Why are there two of you?" Jeremy asks Michael. They're sitting next to a pool and one Michael is telling Jeremy to wake up, he's crying.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“Probably because that me—“ Michael points to the other him, “is from when you were in a coma. And this me—“ Michael points to himself, “is the one who got sucked into your dream.”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>"I've already told you I'm not dreaming." Jeremy backs away, "I'm fine, I'm happy why do you keep coming back?" The other Michael cries, "I miss you Jeremy, please, wake up."</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i><i>I’m happy, why do you keep coming back?</i> The words echo in Michael’s head. “I don’t know.”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Jeremy appears not to have heard, the world around them starts to change and Jeremy's talking to Christine. Then Michael notices the subtle differences, Christine looks younger, carefree, Jeremy looks more mature and nothing like he had just been out of a coma, "I can't stop dreaming about him," Jeremy's muttering, "it must mean something."</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Christine leans over to him, "it's probably nothing."</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>"He keeps telling me to wake up," Jeremy looks at her, frowning,"this isn't real is it, I never swallowed the mountain dew it's controlling you isn't it?" He stares at her.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Christine rolls her eyes, "not again," she mutters before glitching back into the form of the squip. Jeremy jumps backwards, "let me talk to him, please." The squip approaches and Jeremy's trembles. "Restart," the squip commands. "No please, at least tell me who he is," Jeremy screams but he's back in bed, lying next to Christine, peaceful, as if nothing happened.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Michael watches the squip restart Jeremy. “If I could tackle you, I would.” He glares at the squip.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>The squip shrugs and disappears. "I did remember you," Jeremy frowns, the squip had repressed all the memories of it trying to get Jeremy to stop struggling. They're sitting in a classroom, "I kept getting reset every time I realised, " a zombie walks in and Jeremy picks up a baseball bat, "why do you think I trusted you when I woke up?"</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“I just assumed it was because I was the first person you talked to,” Michael mutters. He grabs a shovel—why is there a shovel in a classroom?—and whacks a zombie in the face.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>"It's because it was you," Jeremy doges a zombie and whacks its head off, "I didn't trust Christine." He hits the arm off a zombie that had been reaching out for Michael. "I wouldn't have trusted anyone else, they were all ruined by the stupid coma."</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Michael hits a zombie square in the chest with the shovel. “But Christine was your girlfriend in the coma. Why wouldn’t you trust her?” he asks quietly.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>"I already told you, she wasn't Christine." Jeremy backs up against Michael and they begin heading for the corridor.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i> More zombies come in. Wait, this is level eleven on Apocalypse of the Damned! “Uh, the storage closet over there has one extra heart in it. Then the water fountain has a healing thing.”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>"Cool," Jeremy hits the head off another zombie, "you tried so hard and I'm thankful you did," Jeremy tries to dodge a hit but he fails and the zombie latches on to him.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Michael hits the zombie in the back of the head with his shovel then kicks it off of Jeremy. “You would’ve done the same thing for me.”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i> "But I didn't," they made their way to the water fountain, "you did."</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“I’m just glad I got you back,” Michael mutters. Jeremy gets the healing thing on the water fountain. Michael roundhouse kicks a zombie into a wall.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i> "You also ran into a burning building for me," Jeremy glances at him, "don't do that again." He punches a hole in the nearest zombie.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“I won’t do it if you promise not to pass out in any more burning buildings.” Michael trips and falls over. A bunch of zombies crawl towards him.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i> Jeremy lunges at them, standing over Michael, "I won't of you forgive yourself." He bats the head off three zombies and kicks a few in the shins causing them to topple over.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“What, so you’re just gonna run into the next burning building you see and take a nap? Or are you gonna commit arson?” Michael asks as he stands back up and knees a zombie coming towards Jeremy in the chest.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>"I don't think it'll take much convincing to get Rich to set fire to something else." Jeremy jokes twisting round and kicking a zombie in the face, they're back to back again.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“Fair enough,” Michael says. He swings the shovel and knocks the heads off of 8 zombies.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>"You going to forgive yourself for something you didn't do?" Jeremy asks, stomping on a zombie that had been crawling towards them.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“Fine,” Michael says. “I forgive myself. Now don’t pass out in any more burning buildings—especially ones filled with mountain dew and pikachu tic tacs.” He deadlegs 4 zombies and hits them each in the head.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Jeremy laughs, "what are you forgiving yourself for?" He slips and stumbles backwards onto Michael, only just managing to evade the claws of a zombie.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Michael punches the zombie in the face. “I don’t know dude, I’m kinda distracted trying not to get eaten by a zombie. I forgive myself for...uh...the squip?”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>"it's fine they aren't real, how is the squip your fault?" Jeremy rights himself just as a zombie throws itself at him, he ducks, pulling Michael down with him then jumping over Michael and taking down the zombies on his side.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Michael stands back up and kills another 6 zombies. There are only 11 left. “I let you get it. If I had done more research, this wouldn’t have happened and Rich wouldn’t have committed arson and I wouldn’t have gotten locked in the bathroom when it happened.”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>"Rich got a squip before we knew, he got it ages ago, if I hadn't brought one he would have forced me to swallow it then you would never have guessed that it was working." Jeremy informs him, pausing for breath. He pants heavily for a few seconds making a few half hearted swipes at the zombies. "I'm sorry, the bathroom thing, it never should have happened. I was really shaken and I took it out on you."</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“It wasn’t your fault,” Michael says. He glances down at what he can see of his arms from under his hoodie—they’re still littered with burn scars from the Halloween party. His right hand has a huge burn on it from trying to open the door to the bathroom. Plus, he has a few more scars from helping Jeremy.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>"It was," Jeremy said simply, "I called you a looser because you kept saying it was so cool and I just wanted you to know how it felt. It's stupid, you were trying to help and I," he trails off and a zombie jumps at him.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Michael takes the handle of the shovel and stabs the zombie with it. “Well, even if it was your fault, I forgive you. If you don’t forgive yourself, I’ll...uh, I’ll do something.”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>"And it's not your fault yet you still blame yourself," Jeremy sighs, "and when something is my fault you act like it's no big deal, I owe you my life twice over. You're brilliant." Jeremy knocks the head off two zombies.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Michael doesn’t know how to respond. He swings his shovel again and kills 4 more zombies.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Jeremy's silent too, he lunges at a zombie that was going for Michael, he tackles it to the ground.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>There were three more zombies left. Michael kicked one into a wall. It died. Jeremy beats the other two to the floor. He keeps hitting them after they die. Michael watches Jeremy continue to whack the zombies. “Dude, I think they’re dead.”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>"Oh yeah," Jeremy shrugs, "shit," the ground falls beneath them and it turns into a nightmare, suddenly he's pinned to the ground the squip sitting in him, "your welcome," it winks.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>"N-no," Jeremy stutters, "I d-don't want to."</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“What’s happening?” Michael asks. He almost forgot they were in a dream.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>The squip leans over Jeremy and kisses him, "No," Jeremy yells. The squip forces him to drink something and Jeremy starts struggling. </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Michael runs over to the squip and tries to push it off of Jeremy. He’s not successful.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i> The squip flickers and disappears, Jake walks into the room and starts chasing Jeremy. Jeremy runs into the bathroom but this time there's no Michael there he curls into a ball and starts crying.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Michael runs after Jeremy. He closes the door before he can get in. “Jeremy?” Michael knocks on the door.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Jeremy's sobs could be heard clearly. "I don't wanna I don't wanna," he mutters over and over.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Michael tries to open the door. It’s locked. “Jeremy, can you unlock the door?” he asks softly.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>"I'll be better," he says, he sounds harder, "I'll be better," he repeats each phrase sounding stonier</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Michael sighs and digs in his pockets. He finds a coin and unlocks the door. He opens it and sees Jeremy on the floor crying, muttering under his breath. He looks like Michael did a year ago during this party. Michael sits in front of him. “Can I hug you?”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i> Jeremy doesn't acknowledge him instead he walks to the mirror and looks himself dead in the eye, "pathetic," he mutters. Then he straightens his back and puts on a false smile, "try harder," he glares at himself.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Michael got up. “Jeremy, can you hear me?”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Jeremy doesn't break out of his trance, "pathetic," he whispers at his reflection.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Michael turns Jeremy to look at him. “Jeremy, listen to me. You’re amazing. Completely and utterly amazing. Nothing that you do can change that, okay?”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Jeremy breaks his staring contest in the mirror and sees Michael, "Michael?" He asks.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“Just focus on me, okay? Take deep breaths.” Michael helps Jeremy with his breathing.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>"I can't," shakes his head, "I can't" he starts repeating</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“Jeremy, look at me,” Michael says sternly. “Follow my breathing. Deep breath in—“ Michael takes a deep breath, “and out.” Michael repeats that until Jeremy starts regulating his breathing a little.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Jeremy copies his breathing, "Michael?" He sounds relieved and confused.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“Yeah?”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>"What are you doing here?"</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“What do you mean?”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>"H-how did you get here?"</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“You’re dreaming. I’m, like, somehow magically in your dream.”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>"Y-yeah," Jeremy's trembling, "dreaming yeah." He faces Michael, "can I hug you?"</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Michael wraps Jeremy in a hug. “I missed you.”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>"I m-missed you to," Jeremy hugs him back.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Him and Jeremy stay like that for a little while. Just hugging.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>The squip appears, "good news Jeremy you're waking up. Your body has finally found the energy, some people would call you lazy, I am one of them." Jeremy takes a few steps back from it, he turns to Michael, "it was a nice date we had before it ended badly, let's do it again sometime." He smiles shyly before fading out. "You should wake up too Michael." The squip suggests.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Michael sighs. He feels himself start to wake up. The next thing he knows, he’s sitting up in bed, his squip rambling about something unimportant.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I know of no writer that does not thrive off comments.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter 21</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><i>Michael I'm awake</i>, Jeremy joyously thinks at him.</p><p><i>He can't remember the dream,</i> the squip informs him, <i>he can't remember anything about any of it. I must admit I didn't know you were going to share dreams. Your minds are more connected than I initially calculated.</i></p><p><i>That’s great!</i> Michael thinks, ignoring the squip, <i>I would come see you but, you know.</i></p><p><i>Yeah, it's fine dad seems to want to spend as much time as possible with me now she's coming,</i> Jeremy's mood doesn't seem to be let down even knowing his mom was coming.</p><p>
  <i>Okay. But if you want, I’ll probably be able to get there, like, right when visiting hours start to see you.</i>
</p><p><i>That would be awesome</i>,  Jeremy sounds enthusiastic, <i>I can move!</i></p><p><i>That's lovely Jeremy, stop behaving like a toddler and listen to your dad,</i> the squip orders Jeremy, disapproving, Michael you need food apparently it counts as harm not eating.</p><p>
  <i>I’m not hungry, Michael thinks. Anyways, I’ll come early tomorrow and see you.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>You might not want to wait that long the squip replies.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>When should I go see him then?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Today, the squip is silent for a moment, the most favourable outcome would be asking to get your car back.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Are they still fighting?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>No, one of them is asleep. Eat breakfast then ask.</i>
</p><p>Michael grabs his crutches and starts walking towards the living room. His mom is on the couch, her face in her hands.</p><p>"Hey," she smiles weakly at him.</p><p>
  <i>Invite her to have breakfast with you.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Food sounds nice, Jeremy chips in, unaware if the situation.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Your body is not ready for solids Jeremy,</i>
</p><p>They start arguing, his mom is still looking at him, "you alright there?" She tries to put on a brave face.</p><p>“Uh, yeah. Wanna eat breakfast?”</p><p>"That would he lovely," she removes her hands from her face and Michael can see the bags under her eyes, it doesn't look like she got any sleep.</p><p>
  <i>For the last time Jeremy you are not eating that, the squip can be heard in the background.</i>
</p><p>Michael walks into the kitchen and digs through the fridge. He grabs some eggs, finds a pan, and starts cooking them. He gets out some eggos and bread and cooks it. Once everything’s done, he puts it on two separate plates and pulls out the syrup and butter.</p><p>
  <i>Don't add any to yours I said eat not gorge yourself, The squip projects itself next to Michael, it looks disapproving.</i>
</p><p>Michael stares at his plate, thinking about what the squip said. Then he thinks about what Jeremy said. He grabs the syrup and looks the squip dead in the eye as he pours some on his waffle.</p><p><i>I am very disappointed in you Michael,</i> The squip glares at him.</p><p><i>I have no idea what's going on but if the squip is annoyed I'm proud of you,</i> Jeremy thinks at him.</p><p>Michael looks back at his plate just as his mom walks in. He picks up her plate and sets it down at her spot on the table.</p><p>"This looks nice," his mom smiles at him.</p><p><i>Compliment her</i>, the squip commands.</p><p>
  <i>On what? I’m not good at coming up with things to compliment people on.</i>
</p><p><i>She's your mom,</i> The squip sounds frustrated, <i>tell her you learnt from the best, then keep up an amicable conversation until I get back,</i> The squip disappears.</p><p>“I wouldn’t have been able to cook anything if you hadn’t taught me,” Michael says. <i>Yeah, that was an okayish compliment.</i></p><p>The squip doesn't reply, faintly in the back of Michael's mind he could hear it arguing with Jeremy, <i>you don't have to turn the pain blocking back on, It's draining my power, besides I see no reason you shouldn't be on pain medication.</i></p><p>
  <i>Because it hurts.</i>
</p><p><i>You're going to want me on full power later,</i> they continue bickering.</p><p>His mom smiles, appearing to have said something.</p><p>Michael nods and pretends he heard her. <i>Is there a way to mute you guys? It’s kinda hard to have a conversation with you guys yelling in my brain.</i></p><p>Sorry, Jeremy mutters, "disconnect," he whispers, hoping no one hears.</p><p>Michael looks back over to his mom. “So how are you?”</p><p>"Fine," she says quickly, "I think we should talk about yesterday,"</p><p>The squip appears, giving Michael a headache, <i>don't do that, tell her its fine and you went to bed because you were tired.</i></p><p>“It’s fine Mom. I went to bed because I was tired and my ankle hurt a little.” Michael takes a bite of his waffle.</p><p>"Oh, that's ok then," She gives him a half smile, unsure of how to proceed eventually she gives up and changes the subject, "Who's flask is that in the hall?"</p><p>
  <i>This is good, tell her it's Christine's, ask her if you can get your car back and drop it off at her house, that'll give you more time with Jeremy.</i>
</p><p>“Oh, that’s Christine’s. Could I get my car back in a little so I could drive it over to her?”</p><p>"Yeah, sure," She nods at him, "wait no you're grounded."</p><p>
  <i>Tell her they'll tow your car.</i>
</p><p>“They’ll tow my car. There’s a 24-hour parking limit at the hospital and it’s definitely been there for nearly 24 hours.”</p><p>She looks unsure, "fine then, I'll drive you there." she abandons a half eaten breakfast.</p><p><i>Follow her,</i> The squip says, purposefully ignoring the fact that Michael hadn't finished his own breakfast.</p><p>Michael takes one last bite of his food—staring directly at the squip with a fake smile—and follows his mom out the door. He feels really bad lying to her but he wants to see Jeremy.</p><p><i>Don't forget the flask,</i> the squip doesn't comment on his finishing of the meal.</p><p>Michael grabs the flask right before he leaves. He walks out and gets in his mom’s car.</p><p>"Come straight home, ok?" She doesn't start the car, "promise me, no detours, no staying at Christine's any longer than to giver her the flask." she looks at him earnestly.</p><p>“I won’t drive anywhere but Christine’s and here,” Michael says. He’s not lying; the car is parked in the hospital driveway.</p><p>"Promise me you'll be as fast as you can?"</p><p><i>She's hoping you'll be back before your ina wakes up, this is unlikely even if you weren't visiting Jeremy,</i> the squip says.</p><p>“Yeah,” Michael says, then he thinks to the squip, I’ll just say my car broke down if I take too long. It’s a really old car. They’re bound to believe me.</p><p>The squip doesn't reply to this, Maria starts the car, "I'm trusting you," she says, "Please don't break that."</p><p>“I won’t,” Michael mutters. He already feels bad.</p><p><i>Complete the rest of the drive is in silence, Christine will meet you there,</i> The super computer informs him when they arrive, <i>also Jeremy is high.</i></p><p>"Be quick," His mom says, giving him a hug.</p><p>Michael hugs her back and gets out. He grabs the flask and walks over to his car. His mom drives away and he runs into the building as soon as she can’t see him. He nearly runs into Christine.</p><p>"Michael," She takes a few steps back, "Jeremy said you were grounded," she sounds pleasantly surprised.</p><p>“I am. Here’s your flask by the way.” Michael pulls the flask out of his pocket and hands it to her. “I came to get my car and see Jeremy.”</p><p>"He's just recovering, they started treating his burns," she's silent for a moment, "There's one on his upper arm, it looks really painful." she bites her lip.</p><p>“When will I be able to see him?”</p><p>"Now, he's had lots of morphine so he's a bit out of it. They said they would continue tomorrow but Jeremy has an unusually high pain tolerance,” She pauses, “I guess even the squip couldn't block all the pain."</p><p>
  <i>I can, I'm just very low on power,<i> it complains.</i></i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i></i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i></i>
  </i>
</p><p>“Thanks.” Michael walks towards Jeremy’s room. He finally finds his room and walks in.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Chapter 22</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Some fluff, it's very fluffy because Jeremy's brain has melted because pain medication.<br/>I'm sorry if this isn't realistic I have, fortunately, never had to go to the hospital for anything worse than a sprained wrist.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><i>Michael I'm awake</i>, Jeremy joyously thinks at him.</p><p><i>He can't remember the dream,</i> the squip informs him, <i>he can't remember anything about any of it. I must admit I didn't know you were going to share dreams. Your minds are more connected than I initially calculated.</i></p><p><i>That’s great!</i> Michael thinks, ignoring the squip, <i>I would come see you but, you know.</i></p><p><i>Yeah, it's fine dad seems to want to spend as much time as possible with me now she's coming,</i> Jeremy's mood doesn't seem to be let down even knowing his mom was coming.</p><p>
  <i>Okay. But if you want, I’ll probably be able to get there, like, right when visiting hours start to see you.</i>
</p><p><i>That would be awesome</i>,  Jeremy sounds enthusiastic, <i>I can move!</i></p><p><i>That's lovely Jeremy, stop behaving like a toddler and listen to your dad,</i> the squip orders Jeremy, disapproving, Michael you need food apparently it counts as harm not eating.</p><p>
  <i>I’m not hungry, Michael thinks. Anyways, I’ll come early tomorrow and see you.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>You might not want to wait that long the squip replies.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>When should I go see him then?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Today, the squip is silent for a moment, the most favourable outcome would be asking to get your car back.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Are they still fighting?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>No, one of them is asleep. Eat breakfast then ask.</i>
</p><p>Michael grabs his crutches and starts walking towards the living room. His mom is on the couch, her face in her hands.</p><p>"Hey," she smiles weakly at him.</p><p>Invite her to have breakfast with you.</p><p>Food sounds nice, Jeremy chips in, unaware if the situation.</p><p>Your body is not ready for solids Jeremy,</p><p>They start arguing, his mom is still looking at him, "you alright there?" She tries to put on a brave face.</p><p>“Uh, yeah. Wanna eat breakfast?”</p><p>"That would he lovely," she removes her hands from her face and Michael can see the bags under her eyes, it doesn't look like she got any sleep.</p><p>For the last time Jeremy you are not eating that, the squip can be heard in the background.</p><p>Michael walks into the kitchen and digs through the fridge. He grabs some eggs, finds a pan, and starts cooking them. He gets out some eggos and bread and cooks it. Once everything’s done, he puts it on two separate plates and pulls out the syrup and butter.</p><p>Don't add any to yours I said eat not gorge yourself, The squip projects itself next to Michael, it looks disapproving.</p><p>Michael stares at his plate, thinking about what the squip said. Then he thinks about what Jeremy said. He grabs the syrup and looks the squip dead in the eye as he pours some on his waffle.</p><p>I am very disappointed in you Michael, The squip glares at him.</p><p>I have no idea what's going on but if the squip is annoyed I'm proud of you. Jeremy thinks at him.</p><p>Michael looks back at his plate just as his mom walks in. He picks up her plate and sets it down at her spot on the table.</p><p>"This looks nice," his mom smiles at him.<br/>Compliment her, the squip commands.</p><p>On what? I’m not good at coming up with things to compliment people on.</p><p>She's your mom, The squip sounds frustrated, tell her you learnt from the best, then keep up an amicable conversation until I get back, The squip disappears.</p><p>“I wouldn’t have been able to cook anything if you hadn’t taught me,” Michael says. Yeah, that was an okayish compliment.</p><p>The squip doesn't reply, faintly in the back of Michaels mind he could hear it arguing with </p><p>Jeremy, you don't have to turn the pain blocking back on, It's draining my power, besides I see no reason you shouldn't be on pain medication.</p><p>Because it hurts,</p><p>You're going to want me on full power later, they continue bickering.</p><p>His mom smiles, appearing to have said something.</p><p>Michael nods and pretends he heard her. Is there a way to mute you guys? It’s kinda hard to have a conversation with you guys yelling in my brain.</p><p>Sorry, Jeremy mutters, "disconnect," he whispers, hoping no one hears.</p><p>Michael looks back over to his mom. “So how are you?”</p><p>"Fine," she says quickly, "I think we should talk about yesterday,"</p><p>The squip appears, giving Michael a headache, Don't do that, tell her its fine and you went to bed because you were tired.</p><p>“It’s fine Mom. I went to bed because I was tired and my ankle hurt a little.” Michael takes a bite of his waffle.</p><p>"Oh, that's ok then," She gives him a half smile, unsure of how to proceed eventually she gives up and changes the subject, "Who's flask is that in the hall?"</p><p>This is good, tell her it's Christine's, ask her if you can get your car back and drop it off at her house, that'll give you more time with Jeremy.</p><p>“Oh, that’s Christine’s. Could I get my car back in a little so I could drive it over to her?”</p><p>"Yeah, sure," She nods at him, "Wait no you're grounded."</p><p>Tell her they'll tow your car.</p><p>“They’ll tow my car. There’s a 24-hour parking limit at the hospital and it’s definitely been there for nearly 24 hours.”</p><p>She looks unsure, "fine then, I'll drive you there." she abandons a half eaten breakfast.</p><p>Follow her, The squip says, purposefully ignoring the fact that Michael hadn't finished his own breakfast.</p><p>Michael takes one last bite of his food—staring directly at the squip with a fake smile—and follows his mom out the door. He feels really bad lying to her but he wants to see Jeremy.</p><p>“Don't forget the flask,” the squip doesn't comment on his finishing of the meal.</p><p>Michael grabs the flask right before he leaves. He walks out and gets in his mom’s car.</p><p>"Come straight home, ok?" She doesn't start the car, "promise me, no detours, no staying at Christine's any longer than to giver her the flask." she looks at him earnestly.</p><p>“I won’t drive anywhere but Christine’s and here,” Michael says. He’s not lying; the car is parked in the hospital driveway.</p><p>"Promise me you'll be as fast as you can?"</p><p>She's hoping you'll be back before your Ina wakes up, this is unlikely even if you weren't visiting Jerem, the squip says.</p><p>“Yeah,” Michael says, then he thinks to the squip, I’ll just say my car broke down if I take too long. It’s a really old car. They’re bound to believe me.</p><p>The squip doesn't reply to this, Maria starts the car, "I'm trusting you," she says, "Please don't break that."</p><p>“I won’t,” Michael mutters. He already feels bad.</p><p>“The rest of the drive is in silence, Christine will meet you there,” The super computer informs him when they arrive, “also Jeremy is high.”</p><p>"Be quick," His mom says, giving him a hug.</p><p>Michael hugs her back and gets out. He grabs the flask and walks over to his car. His mom drives away and he runs into the building as soon as she can’t see him. He nearly runs into Christine.</p><p>"Michael," She takes a few steps back, "Jeremy said you were grounded," she sounds pleasantly surprised.</p><p>“I am. Here’s your flask by the way.” Michael pulls the flask out of his pocket and hands it to her. “I came to get my car and see Jeremy.”</p><p>"He's just recovering, they started treating his burns," she's silent for a moment, "There's one on his upper arm, it looks really painful." she bites her lip.</p><p>“When will I be able to see him?”</p><p>"Now, he's had lots of morphine so he's a bit out of it. They said they would continue tomorrow but Jeremy has an unusually high pain tolerance,” She pauses, “I guess even the squip couldn't block that much pain."</p><p>“I can, I'm just very low on power.” It complains.</p><p>“Thanks.” Michael walks towards Jeremy’s room. He finally finds his room and walks in.</p><p>"It hurts," Jeremy whines at thin air, "Turn it offfffff,"</p><p>His dad is sitting next to him, tired and exasperated, "Jeremy I can't turn it off. You're just going to have to brave it, you're strong."</p><p>Jeremy makes a whining noise, "Shrek could turn it off if he tried."</p><p>"Jeremy," his dad trails off then he spots Michael, "hey,"</p><p>"Red," Jeremy yells, "Red red red,"</p><p>“Hi Jeremy,” Michael mutters. “Hi Mr. Heere.”</p><p>"Who's Jeremy? I'm Spider man."</p><p>Mr Heere smiles, bemused, "Can you look after him for a bit I don't want to leave him alone but I need a shower."</p><p>Jeremy looks his dad straight in the eye, "You smell," then he stares into space, "Shut up Shrek."</p><p>“Yeah, sure,” Michael says. “Hi Spiderman.”</p><p>"Red." he yells at Michael. His father leaves the room, "Bye stink."</p><p><i>This is ridiculous, he thinks I'm Shrek,</i> the squip complains.</p><p><i>This is hilarious,</i> Michael thinks back at him. “My name’s Michael.” he tells an excited Jeremy.</p><p>"Red" Jeremy insists. He points to Michael's hoodie, "look, red, not Michael."</p><p>“Fair enough,” Michael says. “So how are you?”</p><p>"Hurts," Jeremy lifts up his arm, his wrist is in a cast and his upper arm is lightly bandaged, "I got it from being spider man."</p><p>“Who were you fighting?” Michael’s struggling to not laugh.</p><p>"Shrek, he was trying to take," at this Jeremy goes quiet, "secret," he finally says, nodding.</p><p>“What was Shrek doing?” Michael asks, glaring at the squip.</p><p><i>I have no idea what he's on about,</i> The squip shrugs looking offended.</p><p>"Stealing someone," Jeremy nods again.</p><p>“Who?” Michael asks, <i>I swear to god if he doesn’t tell me you will.</i></p><p>“I don't know what he’s on about,” The squip looks extremely offended.</p><p>"Can you keep a secret?" Jeremy asks slowly.</p><p>“If I can not tell anyone that I’m gay for 12 years, I can keep any secret.”</p><p>"No I want Red to keep a secret," Jeremy sticks out his bottom lip, "it's important."</p><p><i>I promise you nothing he has to say is important,</i> The squip sighs, <i>he’s not even making sense to himself.</i></p><p>“I’ll keep a secret.” Michael ignores the squip.</p><p>"Shrek was taking Michael," Jeremy whispers, "so I had to save him because that's what spider man does,"</p><p>
  <i>I told you it wasn't important.</i>
</p><p>"Michael is precious," Jeremy continues, "We have to keep Michael safe."</p><p>The squip rolls its eyes.</p><p>Michael smiles a little. “I agree.” He continues to ignore the squip.</p><p>"You'll help me keep him safe?" Jeremy looks at him with wide, trusting eyes.</p><p>“Of course I will,” Michael says.</p><p>"Good," Jeremy closes his eyes, satisfied. Then he opens them, "you're really pretty."</p><p>Michael’s face goes red. “Oh really?”</p><p>"Yes, your beautiful," Jeremy looks at him seriously, "you're perfect."</p><p>Michael laughs. “Jeremy, you sound like you did the one time you smoked with me.”</p><p>Jeremy looks upset by Michael's laughter, "but it's true," he sounds indignant, "you are really pretty."</p><p>“Okay,” Michael says. “But so are you.”</p><p>"Only if you say it," Jeremy still sounds indignant, "say that your pretty."</p><p>“Fine,” Michael says. “I’m pretty.”</p><p>"Yay," Jeremy tries to clap but after the first attempt he winces, "turn it off," He glares into the air again.</p><p>Michael looks at the squip again, <i>maybe just numb his wrist?</i></p><p><i>He will hurt himself, the pain is the only thing stopping him from whacking that arm against every inanimate object he can reach,</i> it replies.</p><p>Jeremy, obviously hearing something similar glares at it, "go away then,"</p><p><i>He's going to regret this,</i> it grins and dematerialises.</p><p>Jeremy cries out in pain, "I'm spider man." He mutters crossly, then he looks at Michael, "sit" he orders, using his healthy arm to point to the chair next to his bed.</p><p>Michael sits down. “I can’t stay too long. My moms will get suspicious.”</p><p>Jeremy holds his hand out to him, "but your beautiful," he complains as if that is a factor.</p><p>“But I’m also grounded,” Michael says, laughing.</p><p>"But your beautifulllllll," Jeremy whines wiggling his hand at him, "I want to hug you and keep you safe." Jeremy says, his eyes glaze over, "like Michael, I could keep you both safe." He trails off, lost in some fantasy world.</p><p>“Jeremy, I am Michael,” he says. He can barely suppress his laughter.</p><p>Jeremy remains unresponsive for a minute, "Not true," he sticks his bottom lip out and turns over, too quickly. His expression changes instantly, "It hurts," he whispers, tears of pain form in his eyes, he feels like his body’s on fire, "stop the hurt, please."</p><p>“Don’t worry, it’ll stop soon.” Michael looks over at the door and sees a doctor.</p><p>"Wont stop," he sighs, "never stops."</p><p>"Jeremy," The doctor says.</p><p>"I'm not Jeremy," he pouts, like a toddler, "I'm spiderman."</p><p>"Ok spiderman, what did we say about when it hurts?"</p><p>"Press the button." Jeremy pouts harder, "I don't wanna,"</p><p>"It'll stop the hurt," the doctor tries to keep her voice level but clearly she's exasperated, "do you want to show me you can do it?"</p><p>"No," Jeremy sounds childish, "said I don't wanna."</p><p>“Jeremy, if you push the button I’ll get Michael,” Michael says.</p><p>"Fine," Jeremy says pushing the button.</p><p>"Well done," the doctor says, sounding patronising. She mouths, 'thank you' at Michael,  "Your physio is in half an hour," she says as she fiddles with his tubes, "you ready for it?"</p><p>"After I see Michael." He pouts.</p><p>She pulls away, "I'm sure he'll come." She looks directly at Michael, winks then leaves.</p><p>Michael starts leaving. “I’m gonna get Michael.” He leaves, waits a few seconds, then comes back in. “Hi Jeremy!”</p><p>"Michael," Jeremy yells, "you're here," he sounds overly happy, he spreads his arms wide, "hug."</p><p>Michael goes over to Jeremy and hugs him lightly. “How are you?”</p><p>"Ow," he says as Michael brushes his burn, "miss you." He glares at his arm.</p><p>“Sorry,” Michael says. “I missed you too.”</p><p>"Not your fault," Jeremy continues to glare, "it's Shrek's, won't turn it off."</p><p>“Yeah, well Shrek’s a little bitch.”</p><p>"That's true," Jeremy agrees.</p><p>The squip materializes, <i>you should get going, your mom's going to start looking for you.</i></p><p>Jeremy starts talking about how much he hates Shrek.</p><p>“Jeremy, I gotta go,” Michael says. Jeremy deflates. “But you can still talk to me! Just, like, think at me.”</p><p>"It's hard to think," Jeremy pouts, "I want yooooouuuuuuu,"</p><p>“And I want to be able to visit you and not have my car confiscated.” Michael starts walking out. “I’ll try to visit you tomorrow, okay? Bye.” With that, he crutch-sprints to his car and hops in. He drives home as fast as he can without getting arrested.</p><p>"Michael," Jeremy sits there, alone, he starts crying without real understanding why.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Chapter 23</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Michael gets home and is about to get out of his car when he hears Jeremy crying. </p><p><i>Please help me, he’s being a nuisance,</i> the squip says.</p><p>
  <i>Jeremy? I’m right here.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Michael?</i>
</p><p><i>Who else would it be?</i> The squip snaps, perpetually annoyed by Jeremy.</p><p><i>Hi Jeremy. What’s wrong?</i> Michael gets out of his car and starts walking up his driveway.</p><p>
  <i>She's coming, she's coming to take me away.</i>
</p><p>Michael walks in his house to hear his moms arguing because of him, <i>your mom?</i></p><p>
  <i>Yeah.</i>
</p><p><i>He just remembered why she's coming, her dad told him when he was 'asleep'</i> the squip informs him.</p><p><i>She’s not going to take you away. I promise,</i> Michael says, he puts on his headphones and walks to his room.</p><p>
  <i>She is, that's why she's coming.</i>
</p><p><i>That's almost true,</i> The squip chips in.</p><p>
  <i>She’s coming so she can take you away, but I won’t let that happen. I promise.</i>
</p><p><i>And how do you plan to do that?</i> The squip asks.</p><p><i>You promise?</i> Jeremy asks</p><p><i>Your lie will only hurt him in future,</i> the squip starts lecturing.</p><p>
  <i>If you refuse to go, she can’t make you come. If she tries to, I’ll help you.</i>
</p><p><i>I will refuse, I’m not leaving you,</i> Jeremy doesn’t appear to have heard the squip, </p><p>
  <i>Doing physio now, I hate this.</i>
</p><p><i>You need to concentrate on it Jeremy, it'll make you better,</i> the squip tries to convince him.</p><p><i>Already better,</i> Jeremy sounds annoyed.</p><p><i>I'm disconnecting you, maybe that'll help you concentrate.</i> The squip says. Jeremy's voice disappears. Then it addresses Michael, <i>your moms will be wondering where you were, tell them you broke down near Christine's she’ll cover for you.</i></p><p><i>Okay,</i> Michael thinks and walks further into the house. His moms see him.</p><p>Jasmine tries to smile at him but fails. His Mom looks at him, disappointed, "where were you?"</p><p>“At Christine’s, dropping off her flask. My car broke down halfway there.” Michael shoves his hands in his pockets.</p><p>"That does happen quite frequently," his Mom sounds strained, "I'm glad you were honest about it though."</p><p>"Yes I'm glad to," Jasmine sounds distracted and not at all glad.</p><p>Michael looks between the two. <i>Squip I swear to god if my moms get divorced I’m going to kill you.</i> he thinks at it. Outloud he says, “Okay, I’m gonna go to my room and do whatever people do without video games.” Michael goes to his room and collapses in his desk chair immediately. His ribs still hurt like hell and he hasn’t taken a deep breath since Jake beat him up the first time. Well, since before that. It’s hard to breathe with a binder.</p><p>"No playing video games secretly, it's still banned," his mom calls after him.</p><p>
  <i>I can't die, I am not alive.</i>
</p><p>“Yes ma’am!” Michael yells back. He ends up spinning around in his chair for a little while. Then he finds a book buried under a pile of clothes. It’s a copy of The Hunger Games that he never read. He turns to the first page and tries to read a little.</p><p>The squip is silent for a few minutes, <i>about Jeremy's dreams,</i> it starts.</p><p>
  <i>What about them?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>It seems that most of them are based on things that happened, I'll admit resetting him wasn't my finest moment but he wasn't happy.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I’m guessing that the zombie part didn’t happen?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I got distracted. It replies, although you weren't there when that took place.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Wait—what?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>He needed something to, even subconsciously, push him to be better, now his subconscious mind does as I tell it because it fears the outcome if he doesn't.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>So are you still controlling Jeremy’s dreams or am I just confused?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>It was whilst he was in a coma, your voice was proving to be too stimulating.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I’m really confused right now.</i>
</p><p><i>Jeremy started realising it wasn't real every time you spoke to him, so I made it so every time you spoke to him he was being eaten alive by zombies, eventually his subconscious related it to fear and he stopped realising that it wasn't real and fighting me,</i> The squip explains, exasperated.</p><p>
  <i>So then why wasn’t he scared of me when he woke up?</i>
</p><p>The squip sounds annoyed, <i>because his subconscious had related me to the fear and not you. This isn't what I wanted to talk about.</i></p><p>Michael nods, <i>okay, then what do you wanna talk about?</i></p><p>
  <i>The one that was like the party, him crying in the bathroom is what would have happened if you weren't there, interfering.</i>
</p><p><i>Okay,</i> Michael thinks. He doesn’t know what to say.</p><p>
  <i>Do you, now understanding your role in his dreams, want to have separate dreams. I believe I've figured out how.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I don’t want him to have to be alone in those dreams. Plus, I have terrible nightmares already; his dreams are ten times better than mine are. Even before you.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>This means you'll both have to sleep at the same time and there's no telling who's dreams you'll end up in.</i>
</p><p><i>Then seperate,</i> Michael thinks immediately, <i>I don’t want him to have to see what my dreams are,</i> he can’t count how many times he’s woken up sobbing or screaming because of his dreams.</p><p>
  <i>That'll leave him alone in his own dreams, probably reliving memories he would prefer to forget.</i>
</p><p><i>So both options are shitty is what you’re saying,</i> Michael runs a hand through his hair and leans back, <i>either he’s alone in his own nightmares or he has to be in my nightmares.</i></p><p>
  <i>There's no guarantee that it'll be your dreams or you'll have a nightmare.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I have nightmares pretty much every night. You should know this—you’re literally inside my brain.</i>
</p><p><i>Anomalies do occur,</i> it says snappily.</p><p>
  <i>Yeah, well the last time I had a slightly pleasant dream was second grade.</i>
</p><p><i>I don't have the time to analyse all your memories Michael,</i> it snaps at him, <i>the choice is either you both have separate nightmares or you have a shared dream that may not be a nightmare.</i></p><p>Michael thinks for a second, <i>just let Jeremy choose.</i></p><p><i>He can't remember his dreams,</i> it informs him, bluntly.</p><p>
  <i>Fine. Then we can keep sharing dreams. But if my nightmares get too much for him, no more shared dreams.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>If he remembers it, it'll become a shared decision. Now could you please tell Jeremy that walking/ eating/ thinking is a bad idea.</i>
</p><p><i>I'm bored, this is boring, why can't I just keep trying to walk, at some point it's gonna work,</i> Jeremy's whining at the squip, <i>I can climb walls, walking can't be that hard.</i></p><p><i>Jeremy, lie down,</i> Michael thinks sternly. <i>If you don’t lie down, you can’t see Michael. Also no eating yet.</i></p><p>
  <i>but I'm bored, I could climb the wall and hide on the ceiling then jump on the next person who enters.</i>
</p><p>The squip sighs, <i>this is why I'm not turning off the pain.</i></p><p><i>Shut up Shrek,</i> Jeremy was almost definitely poking his tounge out at the squip.</p><p>Michael sighs, <i>Jeremy, if you don’t lay down you’ll get hurt.</i></p><p><i>But I'm bored,</i> Michael could suddenly see Jeremy start fiddling with the tubes in his arm, he tugs at one experimentally.</p><p><i>I would ask him to stop</i>, it tells Michael, <i>but he would do it just to annoy me.</i></p><p><i>Jeremy, don’t mess with the wires or whatever the hell they are. You’ll just be in more pain,</i> Jeremy just stares at them intensely, <i>Jeremy, if you touch them I will take away your spiderman privileges.</i></p><p>Jeremy removes his hand from the tubes, <i>you can't do that, you're not a superhero,</i>. he complains.</p><p>
  <i>What if I AM a superhero?”</i>
</p><p><i>You’re not a superhero and I'll fight you for my Spiderman powers,</i> he pouts.</p><p>
  <i>I don’t think you have the energy to fight me, Jeremy. I don’t think you want to either.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I want to stay Spiderman,</i>
</p><p>
  <i>You can’t stay spiderman if you eat, walk, or mess with your tubes.</i>
</p><p><i>But I'm hungry,</i> Jeremy whines, <i>you eat then, for me.</i></p><p><i>Okay, I’ll eat for you,</i> Michael debates getting food from the kitchen. His moms are probably fighting.</p><p><i>What are you eating? I really want pizza, or a sandwich, I want a sandwich now,</i> Jeremy starts rambling about food.</p><p><i>Okay,</i> Michael stops him. <i>I’ll eat a sandwich. What kind of sandwich do you want?</i></p><p><i>One with food,</i> Jeremy says, decisively, <i>definitely food</i>.</p><p><i>Okay, I’ll get you a sandwich with food,</i> Michael grabs his crutches and walks to the kitchen. His moms are still fighting. He tries to walk past them unnoticed.</p><p><i>Michael what are you doing down?</i> his Mom tries to sound friendly, she looks exhausted. His Ina just storms upstairs.</p><p><i>Sorry,</i> he mutters. <i>I was just gonna make a sandwich. I’ll go back upstairs.</i> Michael turns back around and starts walking back to his room.</p><p>
  <i>No dear, it's fine, I'll make it. What do you want?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I've changed my mind. I want soap.</i>
</p><p><i>I’m not eating soap and neither are you,</i> “Uh, a sandwich.”</p><p><i>Soap sandwich?</i> Jeremy tries to compromise.</p><p>"What do you want in the sandwich?"</p><p>“S—uh, pb&amp;j” </p><p>"Ok, do you want me to bring it up to you?" She asks.</p><p><i>That's not soap,</i> Jeremy protests.</p><p>“Sure,” Michael says, trying to ignore Jeremy’s soap obsessing.</p><p>"Ok then," she tries, and fails, to smile brightly at him.</p><p>
  <i>'s not an obsession, I am just hungry.</i>
</p><p><i>I’m not eating soap, no matter how much you want me to,</i> He thinks to Jeremy, outloud he says, “Thanks.” Michael stands there awkwardly as his mom makes his sandwich.</p><p><i>Fine, tell me what it tastes like,</i> Jeremy insists.</p><p>
  <i>Okay.</i>
</p><p>His mom hands him a sandwich, it's cut into triangles, "enjoy," she grins at him.</p><p>“Thanks,” Michael says. He sets down the sandwich and hugs his mom. “I love you.”</p><p>"I love you to darling." She gives him a quick hug back, then leaves the room.</p><p>Michael walks up the stairs with the sandwich in his mouth. He sits down on his bed and eats it, <i>Jeremy, it’s not soap but it works.</i></p><p><i>What does it taste like?</i> Jeremy asks.</p><p><i>A sandwich,</i> Michael says.</p><p>
  <i>Yeah but is it crunchy and sweet? What are the flavours Micha? What's the texture?</i>
</p><p><i>It has peanut butter and jelly so it tastes sweet and, uh, peanut butter-y. And the bread has little seed things in it so it’s kinda crunchy-ish,</i> Michael takes another bite, he tries to think only at the squip. <i>Could I disconnect from Jeremy for a second? I wanna ask you something.</i></p><p> </p><p><i>Don't go,</i> Jeremy yells.</p><p><i>He ate the food. What more do you want?</i> The squip replies, annoyed. <i>Your dad's coming back in anyway.</i> It disconnects them, <i>what?</i></p><p><i>Are my moms fighting because of me?</i> Michael asks.</p><p>The squip blinks at him, <i>what do you mean?</i></p><p>
  <i>Are they fighting because of me? Am I the reason that they’re fighting?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Which argument? Are you asking about the main cause because I thought you knew that's me. They have argued about you if that's what you mean.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>They wouldn’t be fighting in the first place if I hadn’t messed up so much. That’s true, isn’t it?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>You've messed up about lots of things Michael, be more specific.</i>
</p><p><i>Just tell me if it’s my fault or not. Are they fighting because I keep doing the complete opposite of what they tell me to do?</i> Michael sets the sandwich down and buries his face in a pillow.</p><p>The squip flickers and shuts off.</p><p><i>Fair enough, I wouldn’t wanna talk to me either,</i> Michael thinks. He takes off his glasses and starts crying. <i>If you had just stopped the squip earlier you could’ve saved Jeremy. You could’ve kept your moms from fighting. This is all your fault.</i></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Poor Michael... </p><p>Don't eat soap Jeremy is not in a good frame of mind.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Chapter 24</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><i>Reboot complete, the squip flickers back into existence, your moms are arguing because of me. I did this to them to get at you. It worked. They are arguing because of you but there is literally nothing you can do about it. Even a change in behaviour would not help what I did seems to have made lasting damage,</i> It sounds almost smug.</p>
<p>“Whatever. Just go away,” Michael says out loud and continues to wallow in depression.</p>
<p><i>Connecting with Jeremy Heere.</i> It responds.</p>
<p><i>Hi Jeremy,</i> Michael mutters.</p>
<p><i>Michael, what's wrong?</i> Jeremy sounds overly concerned.</p>
<p>
  <i>Nothing. I’m fine.</i>
</p>
<p><i>You don't sound fine, is it because you don't have any super powers because I'm sorry for saying that,</i> Jeremy sounds serious.</p>
<p><i>It’s not that,</i> Michael sniffles a little, <i>I’m just...tired.</i></p>
<p><i>You do have super powers,</i> Jeremy starts insisting, <i>and they're really cool, you're really cool, I think you're amazing,</i> his thoughts start to trail off, <i>you're amazing! That's your superpower!</i> He suddenly yells.</p>
<p>Michael smiles a little, <i>thanks.</i></p>
<p><i>You could also fly,</i> Jeremy continues, <i>you could fly above everyone else and be by yourself whenever you want.</i> He's silent, saddened by the idea, <i>but you would bring me,</i> he brightens, <i>we could be alone together.</i></p>
<p><i>Yeah, we could have a picnic on top of a tree,</i> Michael says.</p>
<p><i>Yeah and we could watch everyone down below and they would all be jealous,</i> he's silent for a moment, <i>and bring me food, they would have to throw it to us.</i></p>
<p>
  <i>Yeah, they could put the food on paper airplanes and fly it up to us.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>That would be fun, we should do that.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Once we’re both better, we will.</i>
</p>
<p>Silence for a moment, then, <i>did it hurt?</i> Jeremy asks, suddenly serious.</p>
<p><i>Did what hurt?</i> Michael asks. <i>My injuries? It’s not that bad honestly. You’re beat up way worse.</i></p>
<p><i>When you saved me, did it hurt?</i> Jeremy asks again, concerned.</p>
<p>
  <i>Afterwards, yeah. But the adrenaline kind of cancelled out my pain.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>I was trying to keep you out. I didn't do very well.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>You did nothing wrong. If you hadn’t pushed me out of the way, I would be dead.</i>
</p>
<p><i>You shouldn't have come back, it hurt you.</i> Jeremy sighs, <i>I tried to stop that.</i></p>
<p>
  <i>If I hadn’t come back, I would be even more hurt.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Why?</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Because you would be hurt.</i>
</p>
<p><i>I'm already hurt, it hurts all over,</i> he sounds distraught, <i>it can't hurt you too.</i></p>
<p>
  <i>You would be more hurt though.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>My hurt, it's mine and I'm keeping it, I'm not letting you have any.</i>
</p>
<p><i>But I don’t want you to be hurt!</i> Michael persists, he’s smiling now.</p>
<p><i>Mine,</i> Jeremy repeats stubbornly, <i>not yours.</i></p>
<p>
  <i>What if I steal it?</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Noooooooooo, then I would have to fight you.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Well what if I borrow it without asking?</i>
</p>
<p><i>That's stealing,</i> Jeremy sounds strangely smug that he caught on to that.</p>
<p>
  <i>But would you fight me for it?</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>I don't wanna fight... What if you gave it back?</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>But that would hurt me because then you’re hurt!</i>
</p>
<p><i>Then I would have to fight you,</i> Jeremy proclaims, loudly.</p>
<p><i>But then I would be hurt!</i> Michael says, amused.</p>
<p>It takes Jeremy a moment to figure out a solution to this problem, <i>I would take your hurt too,</i> he finally decides.</p>
<p>
  <i>But then I would be hurt because you’re hurt!</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>I would take all the hurt and then you would be happy and all my hurt would go away.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>If your hurt goes away then my hurt goes away.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>You first.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>No you.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>But I can't if you don't.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>And neither can I, so what if we both steal each other’s hurt and it disappears?</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>but then you would have my hurt and I don't want that.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>This conversation is entertaining but it’s getting us nowhere.</i>
</p>
<p>I agree, the squip cuts in, <i>Jeremy go away you're not making any sense.</i></p>
<p>
  <i>No wait! He’s entertaining me.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Great, his body is in serious need of rest but if you feel entertained.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Jeremy, do you want to sleep?</i>
</p>
<p><i>no,</i> Jeremy pouts.</p>
<p><i>He wanted you to eat soap earlier and was just arguing over stealing an abstract idea and you're going to him over me, a super computer.</i> The squip looks vaguely amused.</p>
<p><i>Jeremy, if you sleep then I’ll let you eat soap tomorrow,</i> Michael lies.</p>
<p>
  <i>You don't need to make promises like that. I'm sending you both to sleep because Michael has nothing to do and Jeremy is about to pass out. It says, any questions?</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Yes.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Not you Jeremy, you haven’t managed to say anything interesting since they put you on the morphine.</i>
</p>
<p><i>No wait I wanna see what Jeremy’s question was.</i> Michael protests</p>
<p>The squip ignores him, <i>I'm sending you both to sleep now. In<br/>5…<br/>4…<br/>3…<br/>2…<br/>1…”</i></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Chapter 25</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The world goes dark and much to Jeremy's fascination, they are plunged into Michael's dream. Michael’s laying in his bed. He gets up and walks into his kitchen. “You let Michael end up like this!” his mom yells.</p><p>“It’s your fault for never disciplining him! He turned out exactly the opposite of what we hoped and that’s your fault,” Ina yells back. They see Michael and turn to him.</p><p>“Why couldn’t you have just been a good son? None of this would be happening if it weren’t for you.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Michael mumbles.</p><p>“Sorry isn’t good enough. Everything bad in our lives is because of you.”<br/>Michael feels tears streak down his face.</p><p>Jeremy stands there, the sudden clarity in his mind mixed with the sudden yelling hurt him, he was reminded of his parents. He sees Michael, crying, anger floods his veins, "stop it, he's a perfect son it's not his fault," he yells, trying to ignore the fact he's trembling.</p><p>“He’s a mistake. We were happier without him.” Ina and Mom storm away. The dream changes. Michael, his Ina, and Jeremy are in an airport.</p><p>“Come on, Michael. We have to go,” Ina says.</p><p>“Where are we going?” Michael asks.</p><p>“Away from Mom.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Because it’s not safe there. She hates us.”</p><p>“Did I do something wrong?”</p><p>“Yeah, you did. You shouldn’t have lied to us, Michael. Now look what happened.”</p><p>Jeremy runs up to them, "it's not his fault, it's not his fault that you fell out of love, it's your fault not his." He yells at them, then he turns to Michael and softly says. "You can choose what you want to do, she can't take you away if you don't want to." he repeats what Michael said to him.</p><p>“I deserve it,” Michael says weakly. “I deserve every bit of it.” The dream changes once again. They’re in a courtroom. His moms are looking at a piece of paper in Ina’s hand.<br/>They see Michael and Jeremy and back up. “Michael, you’re not allowed within 100 feet of us. You know that.”</p><p>“What do you mean?” Michael asks. Ina holds up the paper. It’s a restraining order.</p><p>“You’ve seen this before. Stop trying to contact us. We don’t love you,” his mom says.<br/>Michael feels a tear fall down his cheek. At least this is one of the better dreams. No blood or anything.</p><p>The scene changes once again. Michael’s in the bathroom at Jake Dillinger’s Halloween party. Not again. "You don't deserve it," Jeremy says but suddenly he's far away from Michael, amongst a crowd of people. He sees his doppelganger and his heart sinks.</p><p>Michael is sitting in the bathtub, waiting for Jeremy to come in. Right on cue, Jeremy runs in and slams the door behind him, locking it and sliding it down against the bathtub. Michael puts his hand on Jeremy’s shoulder. He jumps.</p><p>“Michael? I didn’t know you were invited to this party,” Jeremy says.<br/>“I wasn’t. I needed to talk to you,” Michael mutters. Might as well play along. When Jeremy doesn’t respond, he continues. “Look, dude, the squip is bad. Not good. He’s gonna end up putting you in a coma and making me fail at saving you for a year.”</p><p>“That’s crazy. You’re crazy, right? That’s not gonna happen.”</p><p>“It is though. I know how to turn it off.” Jeremy goes to leave but Michael gets up and steps in front of him. “I’m not letting you leave until you hear me out.”</p><p>The real Jeremy bangs on the door, "no not again," he mutters, looking for something to open the door with. He finds a screwdriver on a nearby table and, without questioning the logic of how it got there, barges in.</p><p>The real Jeremy walks in but the other Jeremy already started talking and Michael couldn’t not listen, “get out of my way. I don’t care what you have to say. I never did and I never will. That’s just how it is. You’re useless. You’re nothing. I don’t care about you and I don’t care if what you have to say is worth something because your worthlessness cancels it out. Do you understand yet? I. Don’t. Love. You. You’re just a loser.” With that, Jeremy pushes Michael over, and slams the door. Michael curls into a ball and sobs. He opens his eyes to see he’s surrounded by fire in a burning bathroom. There aren’t any windows. He just lays down and waits for the fire to engulf him.</p><p>"No, no, no!" Each no growing in intensity, he runs over to Michael, "Michael look at me," he says to him, voice shaking, "M-Michael please I would never say something like that, I'm sorry." He starts crying, "I'm sorry Michael, you're not a loser you're my best friend, you're not worthless. I care about you, I love you."</p><p>Michael looks at Jeremy. He hugs him tightly and sobs. He feels the smoke fill his lungs—well, he can’t really feel it since it’s a dream. But the feeling is ingrained into his mind. During the fire the year before, Michael was locked in the bathroom and couldn’t get out. Somehow, a fireman found him and saved him after he blacked out. The only person with worse burns than him was Rich. Michael sobs harder at the memory. Nobody came for him. Nobody asked where he was. He waited and waited and waited and waited for someone, anyone to come get him. Any minute now, he kept telling himself. But then he blacked out and realized that nobody actually cared enough to help him. His Ina had yelled at him for going to a party without her and Mom’s permission.</p><p>"I'm here now I won't leave you ever again," Jeremy holds his arms out for a hug, the smoke choking him as well.</p><p>Michael held Jeremy like he’d disappear any minute as the smoke made him black out. “I’m sorry,” he mutters over and over again.</p><p>"I'm not leaving," Jeremy replies, trying to calm him down.</p><p>Michael eventually stops sobbing. He waits for the smoke to make him black out, but it doesn’t. He’s still muttering “I’m sorry” under his breath.</p><p>Jeremy blacks out, the smoke getting to him first, "I'm not leaving you." He whispers his grasp on Michael weakening.</p><p>Jeremy is about to pass out when the dream changes. Michael’s sitting in Jeremy’s hospital room—he’s in the coma still. Michael is holding a bottle of mountain dew red and is about to give it to Jeremy. Then the squip appears, grabs the soda, and pours it out. Michael tries to grab the bottle but collapses in agony when the squip shocks him.</p><p>"Michael, it's ok, I'm here, I'm well I'm not awake right now but neither are you," he laughs almost hysterically, "I'm right here, by your side, I'm not going anywhere." Jeremy glares at the squip, "fuck that toaster anyway."</p><p>Michael sees Jeremy next to him. He’s still here after seeing one of your nightmares. It was one of the less intense ones, but it was still a nightmare. He looks at the squip. “Deactivate.” It disappears as if it was never there.</p><p>"I’m here, I'm right here," Jeremy repeats, he had no idea what he was doing or even if he was doing it right but Michael needed to know.</p><p>Michael sits up as well as he can and wipes his eyes. “Thanks.” </p><p>The squip reappears. Michael gets ready to be shocked again. “Relax. I’m here to tell you that this dream will be ending in 10 seconds,” it says.</p><p>"Talk to me, ok?" He looks at Michael for reassurance.</p><p>“Okay,” Michael says. Then he wakes up. His face has dried tears on them and it looks like he threw his pillow across the room in the middle of the night. His container of paperclips got knocked over and they’re now scattered across the room. <i>At least I didn’t trash the house in my sleep,</i> he thinks, sarcastically.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Chapter 26</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jeremy wakes up, gasping at the air his mind was full of worry, he did this, he did this to Michael. It took him a few moments to realise that it was a panic attack. He doesn't attempt to stop it, "I did this," he mutters over and over.</p><p>The squip stares at him, annoyed, <i>This is actually better than you wanting to climb the walls, it’s disappointing that this can be counted as an improvement</i>, Jeremy ignores it.</p><p>"B-block Michael, h-h-he can't see m-me l-like t-this," he murmurs when he gathers the strength.</p><p>Michael hears Jeremy muttering, <i>Jeremy? You okay?</i> Michael tries to sound calm with his mind still reeling from the nightmare. He can’t remember the nightmare, can he? <i>The squip said you couldn’t remember your dreams,</i> Michael thinks, panicked.</p><p>
  <i>He remembered this one, it pauses for a moment, he doesn't remember most of his dreams but it seems he remembers yours.</i>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <i>Why does he remember it? He shouldn’t have to be stuck with my dreams.</i>
</p><p><i>I am not explaining dreams to you, anyway-</i> unknown to Michael Jeremy had just ripped out the tubes attached to him and started running. <i>JEREMY STOP</i>, the squip turns red, not bothering to cut off it's projection on Michael's side.</p><p>"I can't stay here anymore, I just can't." Jeremy mutters, the adrenaline of the panic attack was pushing his limbs to move, despite the burning of his lungs.</p><p>
  <i>Jeremy Heere stop it you'll hurt yourself.</i>
</p><p>"I don't care."</p><p>Michael could only hear the squips side of the conversation but it clearly was not going well. <i>What did he do?</i> Michael asks frantically. <i>Jeremy please be okay this is all my fault I’m sorry.</i></p><p><i>He can't hear you, he blocked you.</i> The squip looks disgusted. It turns back to Jeremy, <i>at least run out the building and not towards the operating theatre. Yes, left. If I get you out will you stop running?</i></p><p>
  <i>Is Jeremy trying to escape the fucking hospital???</i>
</p><p><i>Michael at any other moment I would be delighted to talk about this but I'm a bit busy,</i> it snaps at him.</p><p><i>Jeremy if you don't stop running you're gonna to lose your ability to breathe. That will not help the situation,</i> Jeremy ignored it, his chest was burning and his limbs felt like they wanted to fall off but he couldn’t stay, he just couldn't. <i>I get that Jeremy but you can walk out. Just take a moment to slow down.</i> It tries to cound soothing.</p><p>"I can't," Jeremy sobs, "I can't."</p><p>
  <i>Squip, can you make Jeremy be able to hear me?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>No, I can't override it. I've requested access but I doubt I'll be allowed it in time. It turns back to blue, I've directed him towards some squipped doctors, they'll handle it.</i>
</p><p><i>Okay,</i> Michael thinks, <i>I never thought I would say this but thank you, squip.</i></p><p><i>You're not going to like the way they handle it.</i> It replies.</p><p>
  <i>What are they gonna do?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Strap him down until he unblocks you.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Don’t you dare do that.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>He wouldn't listen to them, he never has, it's either this or I do what I normally do although I was under the impression you hated that and wanted me to stop.</i>
</p><p><i>Fine, just don’t hurt him,</i> Michael sits up and grabs his glasses. He puts them on and leans against his bed frame. The dream wasn’t as gory or terrifying as most of his dreams, but it still hurt. The night after Jeremy left him in that bathroom, he had a dream where he was trapped in a burning building and was pounding on a window but everyone was looking at him, laughing, and walking away. Also not one of his worst dreams. But still. If this happened to Jeremy after that dream, he can’t force him to tolerate any of his other nightmares.</p><p>The squip leaves him with his thoughts as they strap a very frightened Jeremy down. About half an hour later Jeremy's voice comes through, <i>Michael?</i></p><p><i>Jeremy? Are you okay?</i> Michael tries to calm himself down. It doesn’t work.</p><p>
  <i>Not really, could you tell the squip to let me go?</i>
</p><p><i>Uh, squip, I don’t think Jeremy’s gonna try to escape again.</i> Michael wipes his eyes and grabs his glasses. I’m sorry Jeremy.</p><p><i>He will in a minute,</i> the squip says.</p><p><i>No I won't</i>. Jeremy gets annoyed, <i>ugh, whatever. You don't have anything to be sorry about Michael, I just got a bit surprised</i>. He sighs, it had been more than a surprise but it would have been better if he had warning, <i>you didn't tell me about the party, you didn't tell me anything.</i></p><p><i>I didn’t want you to worry. Besides, that wasn’t one of my bad dreams. I’ve had way worse,</i> Michael tries to reassure him. He winces. <i>That wasn’t as reassuring as I meant for it to be.</i></p><p><i>It wasn't,</i> Jeremy agrees, and I was more worried in the dream, <i>if you told me about it before it would have been fine.</i></p><p><i>I’m sorry,</i> Michael says again.</p><p><i>You want to talk to me about it</i>? He asks.</p><p><i>It’s fine,</i> Michael mutters. <i>I just wish I didn’t have these dreams.</i></p><p><i>If you say so</i>, Jeremy doesn't feel like he's in any position to push it, <i>it is my fault after all.</i> Then realising what he had just thought, <i>I mean, it's just I…</i> he trails off unsure of how to cover it up.</p><p><i>It’s not your fault. I’ve been having nightmares since I was a fetus. None of this is your fault. I could’ve gotten out of the bathroom, but I didn’t, okay? That’s not on you</i>. Michael grabs his crutches and walks to his closet. He digs through it a little and then remembers something. <i>You never told me what your favorite band is. From the time capsule question.</i></p><p>
  <i>That just makes it worse<i>, Jeremy thinks, <i>er I'm going to have to go with Queen.</i></i></i>
</p><p>
  <i><i><i>In spite of how amazing Queen is, I call bullshit. That’s everyone’s favorite band</i>. Michael plops himself onto his desk chair. </i>But it’s understandable. I’m disappointed in the lack of variety though.</i>
</p><p><i>It's good</i>, Jeremy protests, <i>really really good.</i></p><p>
  <i>It is good, but it’s basic. Your favorite song is Under Pressure or We Will Rock you or Bohemian Rhapsody, isn’t it?</i>
</p><p><i>No it's actually, 'It's a hard life'</i> Jeremy defends himself.</p><p><i>Okay, that’s fair</i>, Michael says. <i>Although Jackson 5 is still superior.</i></p><p><i>Agree to disagree,</i> Jeremy responds.</p><p>
  <i>Fine.</i>
</p><p><i>Jeremy are you ok with Michael being able to see what happens next</i>? The squip asks.</p><p><i>It depends on what happens next</i>, Michael answers.</p><p><i>I'm fine with it,</i> Jeremy responds.</p><p>Michael’s given a third person view of the room Jeremy was in. All Jeremy's limbs are restrained and his face is slightly red.</p><p>"Hey champ," his dad walks in, "I'm going to pick up your Mom," he trails off when he sees Jeremy's face, "apparently your sister is making her own way down so I don't know if you'll see her today but you'll definitely see your mom." He runs a hand through his hair.</p><p>Jeremy had started shaking, <i>no, no, no, no</i>, he internalised it had been two years since he last saw his mom, he just couldn't. He felt the panic rise.</p><p><i>Jeremy, take a deep breath, okay</i>? Michael tries. <i>Count backwards from a hundred or hum a song or something. It’s okay</i>. Michael keeps trying to help Jeremy.</p><p>"It'll be alright son," Mr Heere says not convincing himself.</p><p><i>100, 99, 98, 97, 96,</i> Jeremy starts counting.</p><p>"You'll be alright, if I leave you here? I can tell her to get a cab if you won't?"</p><p>"I-I'll be- be fine." Jeremy stutters his reply.</p><p><i>You’re doing great</i>, Michael assures. <i>Just keep counting. Take deep breaths.</i></p><p><i>Can you come over, please</i>. Jeremy begs, <i>you could ask your mom's nicely.</i></p><p><i>Okay,</i> Michael says. He grabs his crutches and goes down the stairs as quickly as he can. His moms are in the kitchen.</p><p>They weren't arguing but the atmosphere in the room was tense. <i>Don't let them know you've been talking to Jeremy.</i> The squip says, <i>guilt them into letting you go.</i></p><p>Michael stands there awkwardly for a second. “Can I see Jeremy? I just wanna make sure he’s okay. I haven’t seen him since I left the hospital.”</p><p>They look at each other, to everyone's surprise, Jasmine nods, "you can go."</p><p>Michael expected them to say no. This is a surprise. “Really?”</p><p>"Yes, maybe it'll cheer you up." She says, "I'm not totally oblivious to the fact we've not been good parents. Think of it as a treat for being a good son." She sees his face, "You will be back for dinner and you're still grounded."</p><p>Michael smiles. He hugs Ina. “Thank you,” he says.</p><p>She hugs him back tightly, "never for a moment think we don't love you," she whispers to him.</p><p>“I love you too,” Michael says. His nightmare tugs at his attention from the back of his mind, but he ignores it. He pulls out of the hug.</p><p>Marie glares at her wife across the room, she quickly rearranges her features for Michael, "love you, drive safe." She smiles, softly.</p><p>“Thanks Mom, love you too,” Michael says. He tries to sound like he didn’t see the look Mom gave Ina. He walks out the door, grabbing his keys from the key hanging thing by the door. He jumps in his car and starts driving to the hospital.</p><p><i>I can't, I can't,</i> Jeremy starts repeating.</p><p><i>He's driving, do you want him to crash</i>, the squip snaps at Jeremy.</p><p><i>No, no, no,</i> Jeremy starts repeating instead.</p><p><i>Jeremy, it’s okay, Michael thinks. Just try to stay calm, okay? I’ll be there in five minutes. For now, I’m gonna disconnect.</i> Michael mutters “disconnect” under his breath and the squip and Jeremy disappear. He keeps driving and finally gets to the hospital. He gets out and walks inside.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>You all don't understand how happy comments make me it's like proof people enjoy this (although I wouldn't<br/>have put this up if I didn't think people would enjoy it). Thank you everyone who has left a comment you all are invited to my wedding with a snow duck.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Chapter 27</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Michael reaches Jeremy’s room he sees Jeremy squirming against his bonds, tears stain his face. "Let me go." He murmurs, "please I promise I won't run off, I promise, I promise." He keeps whispering that like a chant, like it could change anything.</p>
<p>The squip appears, <i>he won't take his pain medication in case his mom arrives and he looks like a fool,</i> it walks beside him, <i>he makes a good point.</i></p>
<p>“Jeremy? I’m right here,” Michael walks over to Jeremy and holds his hand. “It’s okay.”</p>
<p>"Let me go," Jeremy continues to struggle against his bonds, his eyes stay tightly closed, "untie me," he tries to demand but it comes out as a plea.</p>
<p><i>I'm fairly certain that he won't try to run away</i>, the squip comments. Michael unties Jeremy but makes sure he’ll be able to stop him if he runs away.</p>
<p>"I'm not running away, I'm not leaving you." Jeremy says, eyes still closed, his body was literally shaking and it was only because most of the doctors had been squipped that no one had checked up on him.</p>
<p>Michael sits down and wraps his arms around Jeremy. “I know,” he whispers. “It’s okay.”</p>
<p>He winces slightly at the hug but he hugs Michael back, "I'm sorry, I left before but I won't again. I won't." His voice sounds stronger, "even if she tells me to, I won't leave you."</p>
<p>“I know,” Michael says. “And I won’t let her take you away.” He loosens the hug a little when he feels Jeremy wince.</p>
<p>"hurts," Jeremy whispers, "hurts all over."</p>
<p>“Are you sure you don’t want any pain medication?” Michael asks worriedly.</p>
<p>"She can't see me with it." Jeremy groans, "she'll say is silly."</p>
<p>“Well she’s an asshole,” Michael says. “You’re in pain. You need medicine.”</p>
<p>"She'll call me silly," Jeremy tries to be stubborn but he was hurting, all over.</p>
<p>“If she calls you silly, she’s dumb. You’re hurt, Jeremy. If you don’t want the medication, I won’t pester you about it, but you really should take it.”</p>
<p>Jeremy sighs, "do you think I'm silly?"</p>
<p>“Of course not. It was entertaining when you thought you were spiderman, but you’re not silly.”</p>
<p>Jeremy closes his eyes and pushes the button, "good." He mumbles. "Why do you think I'm going to leave again?"</p>
<p>“What do you mean?” Michael asks.</p>
<p>"you dreamed I never woke up and that's leaving." Jeremy winces, breathing hurt too much, "I would never leave."</p>
<p>“I know,” Michael says. “I just overthink a lot. That’s one of my repetitive nightmares.”</p>
<p>Jeremy grabs his hand and looks straight into his eyes, "I promise I will always wake up and I'll always come back."</p>
<p>Michael squeezes Jeremy’s hand. “Thanks.”</p>
<p>"I'll save you next time," Jeremy whispers, "I'll save you." He's clearly fighting exhaustion.</p>
<p>“Jeremy, you should rest. You’re exhausted.”</p>
<p>"Don't want to sleep through your visit." He mutters, his eyelids drooping.</p>
<p>“It’s okay. You need sleep. I’ll find another time to visit you.” Michael watches Jeremy continue to fight sleep.</p>
<p>Jeremy's grip tightens on his hand, "be there when I wake up, please."</p>
<p>“I will,” Michael says. Jeremy’s grip loosens on Michael and he falls asleep. <i>Is there any way you could make his dreams pleasant?</i></p>
<p><i>I have requested permission,</i> the squip sounds annoyed, <i>but I have yet to be granted it.</i></p>
<p>
  <i>Then I grant you permission to make Jeremy’s dreams pleasant.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Not from you, from Christine and she hasn't checked her computer for updates yet.</i>
</p>
<p><i>I’m pretty sure there’s a payphone in the waiting room</i>. Michael walks into the waiting room and sees the payphone. He digs in his pocket for change and comes up with three quarters. He puts one in and the squip recites Christine’s phone number for Michael to dial.</p>
<p>"Hello?" Christine picks up after the second ring.</p>
<p>“Christine? It’s Michael. I’m at the hospital.”</p>
<p>"Visiting Jeremy?" She clarifies, trying to figure out how worried she should be.</p>
<p>“Yeah, visiting Jeremy. Anyways, he’s having nightmares and the squip requested to, like, be able to give him good dreams but it can’t do it unless you let it.”</p>
<p>"Let me see," she starts humming, "it requested control over yours and Jeremy's dreams and the ability to control Jeremy."</p>
<p>
  <i>To stop him running, it didn't work anyway.</i>
</p>
<p>"You sure you want it controlling your dreams? I don't think Jeremy would like that idea it can be very manipulative."</p>
<p>
  <i>She means helpful.</i>
</p>
<p>“Maybe you could edit it to be only good dreams? It’ll actually help a lot.” <i>I don’t think she means helpful.</i></p>
<p>"I can't do that, well I could but I would have to plan and code in a dream, it'll take a while and there's no guarantee Jeremy would like it. I could make a simulation but that would take years and I'm not on that level yet. You guys have shared dreams though why don't you keep doing that."</p>
<p>“Because last night we were sucked into one of my nightmares and Jeremy ended up ripping the tubes out of his arm and trying to run away,” Michael says quietly into the phone. “If the squip can control our dreams, it can’t be any worse than the dreams I’ve already had. And since you programmed it to not be able to hurt us or whatever, it should help.”</p>
<p>"I programmed it not to hurt you physically. Mentally is a different story. If you want me to make it control both your dreams then I'll do it. But if I spot something even the slightest bit shifty I'm pulling the plug. The squip is very manipulative though and you may think you can handle it but what of it's you leaving Jeremy this time? Are you really willing to take that risk?"</p>
<p>“If the dreams are still bad, I’ll tell you immediately, okay? What’s the worst that can happen?”</p>
<p>"The squip manipulates you into not talking to Jeremy," Christine sighs, "but fine I'll allow access, just tell me if anything seems off."</p>
<p>“I promise I will. Thank you,” Michael says.</p>
<p>"there isn't any chance you've seen Ritch? " Christine asks, "I've been looking for him but I haven't found him anywhere."</p>
<p>“No, I haven’t,” Michael says. “He might be back here actually. Because, y’know, he was a doctor with the squip.”</p>
<p>"The squip is still offline, also what am I supposed to do with Jake? He's been tied up here for two days. The red will be here in another three."</p>
<p>“I have no idea,” Michael says. “Rich might be at Jake’s—I doubt he’s at his house.”</p>
<p>"I'm just gonna put in all the restrictions and let Jake go, maybe he'll find Rich. I gottta dash, squips to restrict and all that but call me if you need the squip to do anything k?"</p>
<p>“Okay, cool. I’ll probably call you in a few hours to see if Jeremy’s dreams are any better. Bye,” Michael hangs up and goes back to Jeremy’s room. </p>
<p><i>You will have to sleep to experience his dream</i>. The squip sounds very annoyed, <i>it's not my fault humans need to be manipulated to get what they want.</i> It adds, grumpily.</p>
<p>
  <i>So do I just have to fall asleep here? I told him I’d be here when he woke up.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>And now you'll be there whilst his asleep to, I'll wake you up before he wakes up if you want.</i>
</p>
<p><i>Okay,</i> Michael thinks. He goes back to his chair and sits down. The squip makes his sleep almost immediately.</p>
<p>Jeremy's dreaming of when he was in the coma, except this time Michael was there. They all looked perfect sitting by a pool and basking in the sun.</p>
<p>"This isn't a nightmare," the squip appears beside the real Michel. They watch the scene unfold from behind a large window. </p>
<p>Michael sighs in relief. “Thanks,” he mutters. “I never thought I’d be thanking you.”</p>
<p>"I always knew you would." It replies.</p>
<p>Jeremy was not having a good dream, it wasn't a nightmare but he hated being back in this dream, he knew the squip was watching, one slip up and he would be reset. He tried to smile, at least Michael was here. He tried to convince himself that made it better but this Michael was too glossy. He knew it was better than no Michael but this one wasn't even trying to be realistic.</p>
<p>“Can I, like, talk to him?” Michael asks.</p>
<p>"There would be two of you, don't you think that would confuse him a bit?" It smiles at the view.</p>
<p>Jeremy is most definitely freaking out, he’s doing a good job of not showing it externally but internally everything was a mess, he wished he could reach out to Michael but Michael was just opposite him making a dumb football joke, a joke that he would never normally make.</p>
<p>“That Michael is acting like a robot. You’d think that after being in my head for a year a guy would know how to create a fake me.”</p>
<p>"I do," the squip replies.</p>
<p>Jeremy was going insane, it's just a dream. He tells himself, it can't possibly be real but Michael is there and Michael is never there, not like that, not in his dreams. <br/><i>I'm going to wake up soon, I'm going to wake up and I'm not going back to sleep ever again.</i> He thinks but what he sees shows no sign of being a dream or relenting any time soon. </p>
<p>“Then why is that me not acting like me?” Michael asks. He tries to find a way to get over to Jeremy.</p>
<p>"I don't want him to mistake it for the real you, that would confuse him and on the off chance he remembers the dream he would be confused that you don't remember what he said to you."</p>
<p>As if on que Jeremy whispers something into dream Michael's ear and they both laugh. It is on que, Jeremy can't decide how terrified he is. </p>
<p>“So can I see him or not?”</p>
<p>"You are seeing him, if you're requesting to talk to him I'll have to change the dream, you don't really belong here." It says.</p>
<p>“Okay, then I’m requesting to talk to him.”</p>
<p>The dream changes and Michael loses sight of Jeremy. The squip towers over Jeremy, "This is a dream, this is a good dream, it's the best dream you've ever had," It glares at him. Jeremy nods, too scared of what it'll do if he speaks. Michael appears next to him, they're sitting in his basement. Jeremy forces on a smile terrified of what'll happen if he doesn't.</p>
<p>“Okay Jeremy, Christine did something so that the squip can make you have good dreams. So hi.” Michael picks up a controller and tosses it to Jeremy.</p>
<p>"Yeah, the dreams are different," Jeremy goes quiet, "more realistic," he finally says</p>
<p>“Yep.” Michael turns on the console and the Apocalypse of the Damned logo glared on the TV. He started the game and they started on level 12.</p>
<p>Jeremy sits unusually straight he doesn't react when the zombies come on he just goes through the motions. Michael and Jeremy play for a little while. Michael looks over at Jeremy and sees how stiff he is. “Jeremy? You okay?” He pauses the game and turns his attention to Jeremy.</p>
<p>Jeremy forces on a smile, "yeah why wouldn't I be?"</p>
<p>“Because you look like you’re sitting in front of the queen of England.”</p>
<p>Jeremy relaxes a little, "sorry?" The smile is still stuck to his face.</p>
<p>“Dude. The squip is actually making you have a decent dream. This is the first not-nightmare I’ve had since second grade. It’s okay. I’m not gonna, like, disappear unless I wake up.”</p>
<p>Jeremy force's himself to keep smiling, if Michael's happy why can't he be happy, "that's decent of it."</p>
<p>"Yeah, for the first time ever it does something helpful.” Michael messes with his hoodie sleeve. “And you don’t have to keep that fake smile on your face dude. It’s fine.”</p>
<p>"It's not fake," Jeremy says, trying really hard to sound happy, "I'm happy that you made it do something good." I'm so selfish, I'm going to ruin this for him. Jeremy starts thinking.</p>
<p>“Jeremy, I know when you’re not telling the full truth. You’re not legally obligated to sound happy. It’s just a dream.” <i>Selfish,</i> he thinks, he should be able to enjoy it, Michael needs something like this, "I'm sure I will be happy when we win," he turns back to the game.</p>
<p>Michael looks at him one more time. He looks extremely uncomfortable. He shrugs and unpauses the game. They play but Jeremy isn't into it, he can't concentrate, he doesn't want to be pretending, he hates that the squip has control over this reality, he hates that it put him back in the worst situation it could and is now forcing him to lie to Michael. His hands start shaking uncontrollably.</p>
<p>Michael noticed Jeremy’s character on the screen going back and forth over and over. He turns to Jeremy and sees his hands shaking. His breathing is uneven. “Jeremy, take a deep breath. Count back from 100. It’s okay. I’m here.” Michael helps Jeremy set down the controller and holds his hands to try and stop their shaking. “Just focus on me, okay?”</p>
<p>"I am focusing," Jeremy yells, then realizing what he just did, "sorry," he wasn't sure how he was going to get out of this, he had to be happy, he couldn't make it because of the dream, he couldn't tell Michael what was really wrong.</p>
<p>“Don’t apologize. Just try to take deep breaths. Breathe in for 4 seconds, hold it for 7, and breathe out for 8.”</p>
<p>"No it's fine," he pushes Michael away, "I'm fine, it's fine."</p>
<p>Michael tries to keep a blank expression. “Sorry. Are you sure you’re okay?”</p>
<p>"Yes," Jeremy snaps, definitely not sounding ok, he takes a breath, "I mean yes," he sounds calmer.</p>
<p>“Jeremy, you can talk to me,” Michael says. “You don’t have to, but you can.”</p>
<p>"There's nothing to talk about," he backs away slightly.</p>
<p>“Okay,” Michael says. He doesn’t move an inch. “But you can tell me anything. I’m not gonna get mad.”</p>
<p><i>It's selfish, it's selfish to ruin this I'm being selfish</i>. Jeremy thinks over and over, "there's nothing to talk about." He repeats, he backs away further and falls over the bean bag.</p>
<p>Michael goes to help Jeremy up but decides against it. He obviously doesn’t want to be near him. “Jeremy, do you want to wake up?”<br/>Jeremy is silent, he lies there unmoving he's ruined it, it was supposed to be nice and he ruined it. He doesn't want to look at Michael and see his disappointment. He doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve Michael being nice.</p>
<p>“Can I hug you?” Michael asks. He wanted Jeremy to have a good dream and he ruined it.</p>
<p>"Yeah," Jeremy closes his eyes, he hates himself, he ruined it. Michael gets up and wraps his arms around Jeremy. He doesn’t say a word.</p>
<p>"Sorry," Jeremy mutters, hugging him back, he wanted badly to tell him what was wrong but the squip had said not to and he didn't know how much power the squip had</p>
<p>“You don’t have to apologize,” Michael responds. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”</p>
<p>Jeremy clings on to him tighter, "I'm sorry," he whispers, he wants to say is, I'm sorry I can't tell you, I'm sorry I'm too weak to stand up to the squip.</p>
<p>“It’s okay,” Michael says. “The squip doesn’t have any power anymore. Christine is gonna have the Mountain Dew Red in like 3 days. Don’t worry.”</p>
<p>Jeremy panics, fearing what the squip would do if he told the truth, "'s not the squip," he lies, face buried into Michael's hoodie.</p>
<p>“Then what is it?” Michael asks calmly.</p>
<p>Jeremy's mind races for a possible explanation, he hates his lies, he hates himself for not being strong enough to just come out and say it, "my sister," he finally says, "last time we saw each other it didn't exactly go well." that wasn't a lie Melody had been angry at him last time they saw each other but he wasn't particularly worried about it, they normally argued. He was more worried about his Mom.</p>
<p>“How long has it been since you saw her?” Michael asks.</p>
<p>"A few weeks after Mom left, she came back because she wanted to grab a few things."</p>
<p>“That’s a long time to go without seeing her. I bet she misses you a lot.”</p>
<p>"She won't," Jeremy starts crying, he's being selfish. He ruined the dream, it could have been a good dream but he had ruined it.</p>
<p>“Well she’s a selfish asshole if she doesn’t. She already is one but more of one if she doesn’t miss you.”</p>
<p>"She said she won't." Jeremy says, he hadn't believed her at the time, he doubted she believed herself at the time. He hates himself for blaming her, he knows Michael doesn't like her and this won't help but he didn't want to anger the squip, he couldn't.</p>
<p>“Jeremy, look at me.” Jeremy looks back to Michael. “You’re amazing. You’re the most amazing person I know. It’s not your fault that everyone in your family besides your dad sucks, okay? You did nothing to deserve this.”</p>
<p>"She doesn't suck she just doesn't understand." Jeremy mutters.</p>
<p>“She sucks dude. She’s not a good person. She never has been and never will be.”</p>
<p>"No," Jeremy protests brokenly, "I still love her," he pulls away from Michael slowly.</p>
<p>“Sorry,” Michael says. He shoves his hands in his pockets to have something to do.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry," he murmurs, "I shouldn't, I shouldn't be talking about this."</p>
<p>“It’s fine. Venting is healthy.”</p>
<p>"No, I really shouldn't you don't like her, you don't get it," Jeremy starts retreating into the corner, "I've ruined it," he mutters.</p>
<p>“You didn’t ruin anything Jeremy.” Michael fights the urge to take his hands out of his pockets and fiddle with his patches. He doesn’t want to seem nervous.</p>
<p>"I ruined it, I'm not perfect." Jeremy says louder, "I don't want to be perfect, I don't want..." He trails off.</p>
<p>“You didn’t ruin anything. And you’re not perfect. Nobody is. I’m not. It’s all of your imperfections and ticks and fidgets that make you you. And that’s always more than enough.”</p>
<p>"I don't want to be reset," Jeremy mutters, "please, don't reset me." He puts his head in his hands, "not again."</p>
<p>“You won’t get reset Jeremy. It can’t do that anymore.”</p>
<p>"It will, I remember so it will," he replies then takes a breath, he knows he won't remember when he wakes up, "the dream before this, it was a threat it wants me to act like that," </p>
<p>“It can’t make you do it though. It has no control over you. I promise.” Michael picks at his nails.</p>
<p>The dream falls away and Jeremy screams in agony black vines snake around his wrists and legs. It isn't clear what's hurting him but he keeps screaming.</p>
<p>Michael appears behind a pane of glass again. The squip is next to him. “What the hell did you do?!?”</p>
<p>"Told him not to say he wasn't enjoying it," it grins, "this isn't harming him physically so it's fine, it'll help him learn." It doesn't say what it's doing. The black tendrils hold Jeremy down as he screams, the squip glitches through the glass to talk to him, "will you disobey me again?" It asks.</p>
<p>"No," Jeremy whimpers, "no."</p>
<p>“I swear to fuck squip.” Michael starts punching the glass. The squip, he supposes, stimulates the pain because it hurts. He shakes it off and keeps punching the glass until he can feel it start to break. Then he starts throwing his whole body at it.</p>
<p>"Please," Jeremy begs, "I don't want forget, just don't let me forget." He starts begging.</p>
<p>Michael stops throwing his body at the glass. He starts punching it again and it finally breaks. He wedges himself through the window—getting a ton of glass in his arms and torso in the process—and runs to Jeremy. “What the fuck did you do?”</p>
<p>"I'm teaching him a lesson."</p>
<p>Jeremy let's out a sob, "please," he whimpers.</p>
<p>"Now he's more willing to obey,"</p>
<p>“You’re not teaching him shit,” Michael says. He starts hitting the vines and trying to get Jeremy out. It’s not helping much.</p>
<p>"I've taught him to obey," it smiles, "Is there anything you want me to make him do."</p>
<p>“I’m not going to make him do anything,” Michael says. “I never should’ve let you do the dream thing.” He keeps trying to find a way to get the vines off of Jeremy.</p>
<p>"Fine I will," it takes a step closer to Jeremy who whimpers, "Jeremy repeat the word apple." Jeremy does, over and over.</p>
<p>“Stop!” Michael yells. The squip looks at him. “Stop hurting Jeremy. Switch us. Please.”</p>
<p>The squip holds up a hand for Jeremy to stop, he does. The pain recedes. "I can't, you are about to awake. Jeremy will join you shortly."</p>
<p>"No, don't take him away," Jeremy whispers as the squip raises an eyebrow at him, "please." He sounds pitiful, broken.</p>
<p>“Then in every other dream, do whatever, me instead of him. Just leave him alone, okay? I don’t care what the hell you do to me. Just don’t hurt Jeremy.”</p>
<p>Michael disappears leaving Jeremy alone, the squip releases him from the black tendrils, "I don't want to hurt you Jeremy, I just want you to improve," Jeremy just falls to the floor and cries. It helps him to his feet, "you're going to join Michael soon." It tells him, "just be good."</p>
<p>Michael wakes up. He’s in a chair in the hospital. Jeremy is still asleep. The memory of the dream is clear in his head. He bounces his knee and waits for Jeremy to wake up.</p>
<p>
  <i>I can already tell he isn't going to remember it.</i>
</p>
<p><i>Good</i>, Michael thinks. <i>But as soon as he’s awake, I’m calling Christine.</i></p>
<p>
  <i>Go ahead.</i>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Chapter 28</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm really annoyed that people keep putting warnings up about gays so.<br/>Mentions of hetrosexuals don't like don't read<br/>(but please do I promise the main characters aren't lol)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jeremy starts shifting, he slowly opens his eyes, "Michael! you stayed!" He sounds delighted. "I had aN awful dream, I can't remember what it was about but I was scared." His voice goes sad. "I don't think I've ever been so scared."</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Michael says. “Hey, uh, I’ll be right back.” He grabs his crutches and walks over to the payphone. He dials Christine’s number and waits for her to pick up.</p><p>"No, don't go," Jeremy mutters, looking sad.</p><p><i>He hates you,</i> the squip replies. Jeremy flinches.</p><p>Christine picks up after the second ring. "Hello," she sings.</p><p>“You were right,” Michael mutters instead of a greeting. “The dream wasn’t anywhere near decent. I’m an idiot.”</p><p>"Oh." That's all Christine says. There's a scuffle in the background and Michael can faintly hear her yell, “Stop it you two! I'm on the phone!"</p><p>“Who’s that?” Michael asks. </p><p>"we found Rich and I downgraded it.” Christine sounds tired but happy. “Him and Jake had a chat and now it's a constant battle to get them to behave.” </p><p>"We're behaving fine," Rich yells in the background.</p><p>"Put that down you pyromaniac," Christine yells back. "Anyway, their squips have been really fighting against my programming so I have to fight back. It's getting harder. It is a learning computer after all."</p><p>“It’s good you got them under control,” Michael mutters. “At least they aren’t squipped anymore.”</p><p>"Well they are as much as you are, Rich keeps getting scared but it seems fine. I'm really sorry but I can't help revoke it's access to your dreams, it put up a fire wall." She sounds upset, "to try and hack into that with all four squips connected will just overload my computer." She's silent for a moment, "I can send you the code and you can do it from a different computer though." She brightens slightly. </p><p>“That might work,” Michael says hopefully. Then he deflates. “But I’m grounded.”</p><p>"I'm sorry, I wish I could help more but I'm between looking after these two," something thuds in the background, "and keeping the squip on minimal function. I don't have the time. I'll email it to you, that way all you have to do is find a computer."</p><p><i>You have one and a half hours left to spend with Jeremy and this is how you want to spend it?</i> </p><p>“Okay,” Michael says. “I’ll figure that out later. Right now I have to go. Thanks.” He hangs up and walks back into Jeremy’s room.</p><p>Jeremy's crying. <i>He hates me,</i> is all that he thinks</p><p>“What’s wrong?” Michael asks as soon as he sees Jeremy. He sits in the chair next to Jeremy and takes his hand.</p><p>"you h-hate me," Jeremy hiccups.</p><p>
  <i>I have been telling him this the whole time you were away.</i>
</p><p><i>You’re the biggest asshole on the planet and if you were an actual person I would happily strangle you.</i> “I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. I’m pretty sure it’s physically impossible for me or anyone with half a brain to hate you.”</p><p>"But you ran away."</p><p>
  <i>You should be ashamed of how little convincing it took.</i>
</p><p>“I had to call Christine to tell her how much of an asshole the squip is.”</p><p>"Y-you did?" Jeremy looks at him, trusting.</p><p>“Of course I did. It is literally impossible for me to dislike you in any way.” Michael squeezes Jeremy’s hand lightly.</p><p>"Good," relief floods through him, "did I tell you about Red?"</p><p>Michael smiles. “I don’t think you have.”</p><p>"Well he came in and," Jeremy starts describing animatedly what happened when 'Red' came in, "he promised to help me protect you, you need protecting sometimes." He looks into Michael's eyes, serious, "you need to be protected from all the bad things,"</p><p>Michael’s smile widens. “Well, next time you see Red, tell him I say thank you.”</p><p>"I will." Someone enters the room, "Melody!" Jeremy yells exited.</p><p>"Big brother," she yells back.</p><p>“Hey Melody,” Michael says. He plasters a fake smile on his face. “Uh, it’s good to see you!”</p><p>"Hi," she says, flatly, she walks round to the side of the bed Michael isn't and hugs Jeremy. "Mom and dad are arguing I would give them ten minutes before they come."</p><p>
  <i>We have a problem.</i>
</p><p><i>What’s the problem</i>? Michael stands awkwardly off to the side. He wants to walk out and give them a minute together, but he wants to hear what the squip has to say first.</p><p>
  <i>She's got a squip.</i>
</p><p><i>Shit</i>. Michael looked at her for a second. She paused a bit after each thing Jeremy says as if she’s listening to someone tell her what to say. <i>What do I do?</i></p><p>
  <i>Tell her you know? It doesn't really matter what you do, she doesn't care. She'll be trying to get Jeremy to come with her though and with a squip it'll be harder to stop her.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Should I leave the room so they can talk or should I stay?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Stay, I want you to cut in if she mentions leaving.</i>
</p><p>Jeremy hugs her again, "Michael's been looking after me," he smiles up at her.</p><p>"Not very well," she gestures to the cast on his leg, "exhibit A"</p><p>
  <i>Join the conversation.</i>
</p><p>“At least I was here when he was in a coma for a year,” Michael mutters, barely audible.</p><p>"Yea and I was squipped it wouldn't let me visit," she says, overdramatic. Jeremy giggles.</p><p><i>That's not true, I encouraged her to visit</i>. The squip scowles.</p><p>“I was squipped too.” <i>You’re still squipped.</i> “I obviously found a way around it, meanwhile the squip did this—“ Michael gestures at Jeremy, “to Jeremy and this—“ he gestures at himself, “to me.”</p><p>"Maybe I'm it's favourite if it beat you up so bad, what did you do to piss it off so bad?"</p><p>“Try to deactivate it for, you know, putting your goddamn brother in a coma and my moms on the verge of divorce. And, of course, my cousin is in a mental hospital because of the squip.” Michael shifts his weight on his crutches again.</p><p>"I'm sorry," Jeremy mutters, "I should have been stronger." Melody just smirks.</p><p>
  <i>She already knows all this, her squip would have told her on the way here. She'll also know by now that I'm still activated.</i>
</p><p>“Jeremy, it’s not your fault,” Michael says, glaring at Melody. <i>Could she stop smirking? I really want to punch her in the face right now.</i></p><p>"If I had been stronger none of this would have happened." Jeremy looks at Michael. Melody looks like she's about to start laughing.</p><p>
  <i>She's just happy that your rant about me drove Jeremy away from you and closer to her.</i>
</p><p>“It still would’ve happened. It just would’ve been Rich probably. Or some other poor kid he tricked into taking the squip.” Michael kept glaring at Melody. <i>He hates you, Michael thinks. You deserve it. If you could just stop being selfish for one second and leave him alone everything would be better.</i></p><p>"Yeah Jear, it's not your fault the squip could manipulate you so easily." Melody says, her features shifted into a sympathetic expression.</p><p>
  <i>Leaving him alone with her would not help anything. You're just going to have to confront her later. She's staying at your house so it shouldn't be too hard to find the right moment.</i>
</p><p>“You say that like it didn’t manipulate you. It’s manipulating you right now.”</p><p>"You've still got it?" Jeremy asks her.</p><p>"Jeremy it's supposed to make you act correctly and mom doesn't like anyone acting incorrectly so I activated it. I don't know how to deactivate it."</p><p>“Mountain Dew Red,” Michael says. “There. Now you know how to deactivate it.”</p><p>"Michael," Jeremy whispers harshly at him. He was shocked at Michael's tone, "she's suffered to." Melody just blinks at him, shocked that he would stand up for her.</p><p>Michael looks between Jeremy and Melody. “Sorry,” he says. “Uh, if you’re still here in a few days, someone ordered some Mountain Dew Red. We could get you some.” His tone contradicts the glare he’s giving Melody.</p><p>"Thanks," she sounds distracted, gazing at Jeremy, "I'm sorry," she whispers to him, "I keep having to leave. Someday I'll leave and not come back." Tears fall down her cheeks.</p><p><i>The squip glitches, I'm being hacked, and not by Christine</i>. It glares at Melody.</p><p>What do you mean? Michael keeps his glare on Melody.</p><p>
  <i>Her squip is hacking me.</i>
</p><p><i>How do I stop it?</i> Michael asks. He shouldn’t have put his guard down.</p><p>
  <i>You need a computer.</i>
</p><p>Jeremy hugs Melody, he whispers something in her ear and she nods, "Mom will be here any minute, be careful." She warns</p><p>“I have to go to the bathroom,” Michael says once Melody leaves. “I’ll be back in a little.” He walks out and runs to his car. I’m pretty sure I have my hacking computer in my car still. I didn’t want to use it because, you know, I’m grounded. Ina might have moved it though.</p><p><i>Too late</i>. A female voice comes through this time, suddenly two squips are projected. A female with blonde hair swept into a ponytail, (blonde Katie McGrath with brown eyes and straight hair), everything about her commands attention. <i>You will not be using that computer.</i></p><p><i>Sucks to suck</i>, Michael mutters. He opens it.</p><p><i>It electrocutes him, hey he's mine</i>, his squip glares at the newcomer.</p><p><i>Yeah, could you go away? You could at least look like someone cool if you’re gonna try to take over the human race</i>. Michael emails Christine before anything else. “Jeremy’s sister’s squip hacked into ours.” He then goes to the hacking software he downloaded on his computer. It’s linked with Christine’s. He tries to program against Melody’s squip.</p><p>Melody runs over to him, "stop it's hurting him," She finally arrives the female squip laughs. "Shut the fuck up Phobe, when did I say hurt him."</p><p>
  <i>It's the best way to get Michael to stop</i>
</p><p>Michael's squip raises an eyebrow, <i>Phoebe?</i></p><p><i>She likes names.</i> Phoebe replies.</p><p>“You named your squip?” Michael asks, confused. “That’s not the point. That thing is just going to hurt Jeremy more. He’s in the hospital because our squipped bully beat us up and left Jeremy in a burning building.”</p><p><i>Technically the burning building was Rich, on his own</i>. "Well you said you're getting mtn dew red in a few days, wait until then, Mom's just yelling at him to stop screaming."</p><p><i>Yes well he wouldn’t have committed arson twice if it weren’t for you</i>. “How do you stand your mom?” Michael looks at her. “All she’s done is hurt Jeremy.”</p><p>"Piss off, he stands her to, probably would have kept competing for her affections if we hadn't left." She crosses her arms across her chest, defensive.</p><p>“That doesn’t mean she didn’t hurt him. Look, you don’t have to stage a rebellion or anything, but you can’t just let her bully him into submission and you sure as hell can’t let her force him to go with you two.”</p><p>"I'm not going to force anyone. Shut the computer."</p><p>Michael keeps trying to hack into Melody’s squip. He ignores her.</p><p>An image of Jeremy screaming appears in his mind, his mom yelling at him to man up, Melody sees the same thing because she launches at Michael, "stop it, you're hurting him."</p><p>Michael stops and closes the computer. “That’s not supposed to happen.”</p><p>Any interference will lead to Jeremy Heere getting hurt. Phoebe stands there cold, calculating. "That's not your purpose," Melody yells angrily at it,"I'm getting sick of you disobeying."</p><p>
  <i>It's the only way anyone will listen</i>
</p><p>“I told you that squips don’t help. They literally took over the country.” Michael set his computer down. “Have you tried temporarily deactivating the squip?”</p><p><i>Care to tell him</i>? It gazes soullessly at her.</p><p>"fuck off," she flips it off.</p><p>“Tell me what?” Michael asks, his voice dangerously low.</p><p><i>I didn’t know you could be intimidating</i>, his squip says.</p><p><i>Shut up</i>.</p><p>"I upgraded my squip, it does what I want it to the fastest way possible." And she told me to not hurt him. She won't either.</p><p>“The upgrade isn’t going to help you whatsoever. I upgraded my dumb tic tac and it took over and made me break my best friend’s wrist.”</p><p>
  <i>No you upgraded, she upgraded her squip, she reprogrammed me to be more efficient, more effective and more compliant. If she wanted Jeremy to be unharmed more than her goal, he would be. If she really cared she would reprogram me not to. Since we're sharing secrets, I also have enough power over it to wake Jeremy up when he was in the coma.</i>
</p><p>“So you just didn’t bother to help your brother? When are you going to get it through your head that I already hate your guts. If you cared, you would be listening to me.” Michael hits his head against his steering wheel. He accidentally hits the horn and jumps.</p><p>"Stop being so judgemental, you always were. I'm going back to Jeremy, you stay away, mom hates you as much as you hate me."</p><p>“Well I’m sorry if the only two people I refuse to forgive are my best friend’s deadbeat of a mom and his sister who stood by and let her push him around.”</p><p>Melody storms back into the hospital, her squip stays. <i>You should probably just head home, take the computer we're going to need it</i>. His squip says.<br/>
<i>Use that computer and I will make you and Jeremy wish you had never been born,</i> Phoebe threatens.</p><p><i>What if you make ME wish I had never been born and let Jeremy vibe? I already wish I’d never been born so you won’t have to try very hard.</i> Michael puts his computer under his seat and pulls out of the hospital. <i>If Jeremy remembers whatever is happening right now, he’ll probably hate me anyways.</i></p><p><i>Because you won't listen if I hurt you, you don't care,</i> Phoebe says <i>He has no idea why he was in pain, nor your argument with his sister, he thinks you ditched him at the first sight of his mom. She's very counterproductive</i></p><p><i>So he does hate me</i>. Michael merges onto the highway. <i>If I go home, my moms will probably confiscate my computer.</i></p><p><i>They won't find it they're too busy arguing,</i> his squip points out.</p><p>Michael stays on the highway. He pulls off and starts on the road his house is on. He pulls into his driveway and puts his computer under his hoodie. He slips his headphones on before he goes in. Words like "hypocritie" and, "double standards," were being thrown around by his moms. Michael goes to his room. He tries to ignore the crushing feeling that it’s his fault they’re fighting. He opens his closet door and walks in. His closet is like a little hideout. According to his moms, it’s filled with old boxes and clothed he’s never gotten rid of. The entrance is covered with a bunch of box sides taped together. The inside, however, consists of those tape light things, his old record player that still works after 7 years, a pride flag, and one of those tiny fridges for sodas. He closes the door and pulls out his computer.</p><p>The squips appear, <i>Phoebe we need to talk, my objective is to keep them form harm, you can't hurt Jeremy.</i></p><p>
  <i>I see no reason why not.</i>
</p><p><i>Wait, if we manage to get control of Melody’s squip, we could use her hacking to our advantage. The mountain dew red will be here in a few days. If we keep both you and the other squip somewhat connected, we can deactivate both you and the other one at the same time.</i> Michael goes back and stops trying to remove the other squip.He starts putting the same restrictions on it as his squip.</p><p>
  <i>Get away from the computer or I hurt Jeremy.</i>
</p><p><i>You can't hurt him, that against my objective.</i> Michael’s squip argues.</p><p><i>Watch</i>, Michael sees Jeremy trying to smile at his mom, Melody holding his hand, suddenly his face screws up in agony.</p><p><i>Nonononononono stop please I’ll close the computer</i>. Michael saves what he had done so far and closes the computer. He’d put in something for it not to be able to hurt Jeremy or his sister. He didn’t have time to add himself. It would take a second to work.</p><p><i>You're enjoying this</i>. His squip says, <i>you're not supposed to be able to do that. There's something wrong with your programming.</i></p><p><i>Says you. You've got no power</i>. Phoebe defends.</p><p><i>No, there’s definitely something wrong with your programming. Not even my squip enjoys my suffering. It doesn’t have emotions. The constant torment is more of a hobby for it. You, however, do,</i> Michael thinks, ignoring the squip. <i>That’s not normal.</i></p><p>
  <i>Does it matter? Melody will still use me to get what she wants.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Your methods are too emotional.</i>
</p><p><i>Now that I’ve deleted your ability to hurt Jeremy...</i> Michael opens the computer again and continues to reprogram Melody’s squip. He looks at her information. <i>There is, in fact, a glitch. Knew it.</i></p><p>The computer disappears. <i>Leave my programming alone.</i></p><p>
  <i>You can't optic nerve block a computer just because it annoys you. You shouldn't even be annoyed.</i>
</p><p> “Did you—did you just make my computer invisible?” Michael asks. He receives a shock. <i>Yep, sorry. I forgot that I can think to you</i>. He makes a mental note to add the programming for himself to not be able to get shocked.</p><p>
  <i>You need to stop messing with my programming, it's not invisible either it’s only you that can't see it.</i>
</p><p><i>I know it’s only me that can’t see it. My squip optic nerve blocked any mountain dew red for months before I realized it was doing it. Asshole</i>. Michael continues typing. He can still feel the keys and he knows the keyboard by heart. He manages to turn off the optic nerve blocking and puts up a quick but efficient layer of firewalls.</p><p>It shocks him, it continues shocking him until he screams and it doesn't stop.</p><p>Michael tries to ignore the shocks. His hands are shaking and he’s screaming and he can barely see straight. He keeps trying to type. He manages to put up a better layer firewalls for the optic nerve blocking. He’s on the verge of passing out.</p><p><i>Stop typing</i>. Phoebe hisses at him. Michael's parents run into his room, one of them removes the computer from his hands.</p><p>Michael stops typing. He puts his head in his hands. “I’m sorry,” he mutters. It takes all of his strength to get those words out. “I couldn’t just let it hurt Jeremy and his sister I’m sorry.” He keeps muttering “I’m sorry” under his breath until his throat is raw from screaming.</p><p> </p><p>They don't answer him, one puts a hand to his forehead, he is pushed onto the bed. Someone tucks him in. "Go to sleep."</p><p>
  <i>No, I can't process dreams right now.</i>
</p><p><i>Weak,</i> Phoebe hisses.</p><p>Michael keeps his head in his hands. He’s clutching it like it’s about to split in two. He feels something wet on his cheek. He’s crying. He doesn’t tell the squip to stop or anything. He just lays there.</p><p><i>You can't do that, there's no point to it.</i> his squip says finally.</p><p>
  <i> I want to.</i>
</p><p><i>Well, don't</i>. The pain recedes, Michael I'm going to put you online with Jeremy, tell him about Phoebe, <i>he needs to be warned.</i></p><p><i>Okay</i>, Michael thinks.The squip connects them, <i>Melody has a squip. You probably know that. The point is, it has emotions. It’s glitched. Basically, everything it’s doing is out of spite. I made it so that it can’t shock you or anything but it can still shock me</i>. Michael barely has enough strength to think. <i>It also might break through the firewalls I put up, so I’m sorry. My moms took my computer.</i></p><p><i>Are you ok?</i> He's full of concern</p><p><i>I’m fine</i>, Michael lies. His squip flicks him in the forehead; he can’t feel it, but he knows what it means. <i>No I’m not.</i></p><p><i>Tell me what it did,</i> he sounds tired, he had been shocked, the screaming had hurt his lungs and he had just been forced to watch his parents argue, again.</p><p>
  <i>It just shocked me a little. I’ll live. Are you okay? It shocked you a lot plus, you know, your parents are in a room together.</i>
</p><p> <i>No, it hurts to breathe again. You don't need to pretend to be strong for me.</i></p><p><i>Did you click the button thing for the pain medicine</i>? Michael ignores the last part.</p><p>
  <i>Mom took it away.</i>
</p><p><i>She took away your pain medicine?</i> Michael sits up. It hurts like hell.</p><p>
  <i>She took away the button, she says I don't need it, Melody said I do and so did Dad, now they're arguing, Melody ran off.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Jeremy, I’m sorry, but your mother belongs in a mental hospital.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>She's just trying to protect me. In her own way.</i>
</p><p><i>Jeremy, she’s not protecting you. She’s trying to turn you into a privileged, cishet white male with toxic masculinity,</i> Michael sighs, <i>she’s a bad person, Jeremy. That’s saying something coming from me. I forgave Rich for nearly killing me while trying to kill himself.</i></p><p><i>You're not a bad person,</i> Jeremy ignores the comments about his mom.</p><p>
  <i>Just...don’t listen to her, okay? If she insults you, ignore it. I know it hurts and I’m sorry for being so blunt, but I don’t like her. Whatsoever.</i>
</p><p><i>I'll try,</i> Jeremy pauses for a moment, <i>Michael what did it do? You sound awful</i>. </p><p><i>Like I said, it just shocked me a little</i>. Michael’s squip gives him that look of disappointment. <i>Okay, a little is a big understatement. More like a lot.</i></p><p><i>How much?</i> Jeremy is almost scared to find out.</p><p>Michael looks at the squip. It gestures for him to tell Jeremy. <i>Uh, I was curled up in my closet screaming in agony and I nearly blacked out in pain because I was making Melody’s squip not able to shock you guys.</i></p><p>Jeremy’s not sure whether he should be thanking Michael for looking out for him or mad that Michael wasn’t looking after himself, <i>yhat's awful, thank you so much.</i> </p><p><i>It was nothing. I’ve been in worse pain,</i> Michael thinks.</p><p><i>Actually, Phoebe's shocks were 23.17 percent worse than being locked in Jake’s bathroom as his house burned down</i>. The squip unhelpfully points out.</p><p>
  <i>Not the time dude.</i>
</p><p><i>I'll talk to Melody if I can, she's acting differently anyway…</i> He trails off before continuing, <i>I'm sorry you had to experience that. I'm really happy that you saved me but you have to look after yourself.</i></p><p>
  <i>I didn’t expect the squip to make me feel like I was in an electric chair. Not even your squip could’ve done that and that dude was fucked up.</i>
</p><p><i>I'm sorry, please don't put yourself at risk like that ever again,,</i> Jeremy’s pleading slightly.</p><p><i>I won’t</i>, Michael says, <i>but only if you promise not to put yourself at risk either because, to quote season 5 episode 7 of Gilmore Girls, ‘you jump, I jump, Jack.’</i></p><p>Jeremy laughs, <i>if you don't I don't.</i> Then the laughs became hacks. His breaths become raspy.</p><p>
  <i>Jeremy? Are you okay? Michael panics a little. Oh shit your lung. How the fuck did I forget about that I’m an idiot what if your lung collapsed again??? Sorry I’m not helping just ignore me.</i>
</p><p><i>It's fine</i>, he lies.</p><p><i>He can't breathe,</i> the squip informs him.</p><p><i>Shit shit shit that’s it I’m driving over there,</i> Michael stands up and grabs his crutches. He’s still in a heck-ton of pain but the adrenaline cancels it out. He starts walking down the stairs.</p><p><i>No don't. It's right, you'll just hurt yourself.</i> His words fade out.</p><p>Michael ignores them. He gets down the stairs and basically runs out the door. He jumps in his car, throws his crutches on the empty passenger seat, and starts driving to the hospital, <i>You're going to be in so much trouble, you're not going to be able to justify why you left</i> the squip says, unhelpful.</p><p>Melody is sitting on the curb outside the hospital, crying.</p><p>Michael gets out of his car and limps towards her. “Why are you out here?”</p><p>"Why are you here? Aren't you supposed to be grounded?" She shoots back, sounding small and defensive.</p><p>“I am grounded. My moms are too busy fighting.” He sits down next to her. He’s still in pain from the squip being a dickweed. “If you’re here because of your parents, I understand. Why do you think I’ve been here for the past 12 hours?”</p><p>"Because you miss Jeremy," she hugs her legs.</p><p>“That’s definitely a contributing factor. Otherwise I would either be in my closet or at the gift store in the mall that sells vintage sodas.” Michael fidgets with his patches. “I don’t hate you, you know. It might seem like I do, but I don’t.”</p><p>"You literally said you did. It's not like I'm exaggerating when I think about it," she turns her head to face him.</p><p>“Okay, maybe I hate you a little bit. It’s only because I’ve never had a real conversation with you and I assume everyone automatically hates me and your mom sucks. Jeremy always defends your mom when she doesn’t deserve it and you don’t stand up to her but it’s scary to stand up to someone with that much power over you.” Michael stops fidgeting with his patches when he feels the stitching of his Zelda one rip off a little. He moved on to picking at his nails. He would put on his headphones because parking lots always give him sensory overload, but he doesn’t want Melody to think he’s rude.</p><p>It is scary, she's never satisfied with the amount of power she has." She pauses, sizing him up, "put your headphones on you look like you're going to have a panic attack."</p><p>Michael sighs in relief and puts on his headphones. “Thanks. And you could always move back in with your dad. He has a job and everything now.”</p><p>She laughs it's a dry soulless sound, "you know if I could I would but I've got a life there now, I'm not in the shadows anymore. Anyway I can't, she would never let me."</p><p>“I’m sure your dad could help you with a lawsuit. Your odds of winning are pretty good, especially if you manage to get a video of her yelling at Jeremy. But if you’re happy, then stay.”</p><p>She laughs harder, "I'll never make it out alive."</p><p>“Then you could move in with Jeremy and his dad or run away. You have a really good case and you could always file a restraining order.” Michael winces when he pulls up his sleeve a little and sees the large circuit-like scars. He pulls it back down. “So, uh, is your squip off or are you about to knock me out and drive me to an abandoned warehouse filled with mountain dew?”</p><p>"No it isn't it's telling me what to do I'm just ignoring it," Melody mutters.</p><p>“Oh thank god it worked,” Michael mumbles.</p><p>"Thanks for that, she got really mad but at least she's not trying to kill me." </p><p>“Yeah,” Michael says. “She decided to go off on me though.” He laughs a little. It hurts to laugh.</p><p>"Jeremy's fine by the way if you want to go and see him I'm sure I can distract my parents long enough." She turns away, "this doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying to achieve my objective by the way it just means I regret letting you both get hurt in the process."</p><p> “What exactly is your objective?” Michael asks as he stands up. “Your squip is defective. The squips were already shitty, but yours has emotions. That’s not normal. It’s acting out of pure spite.”</p><p>"It'll still get me what I want. You wouldn't approve of what I want." She starts walking towards the hospital, "don't let mum see you, she's very transphobic, and homapobic, she more or less hates everyone." She winces slightly at this, "just be quick and I'll be distracting."</p><p>“Thanks,” Michael mutters. He starts walking into the hospital.</p><p>She runs ahead, "Momma, there's something I need to tell you." She says as Michael sneaks past.</p><p>Michael walks past and finds Jeremy’s room.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>There will be a lot of homophobia and bad parenting after this. May be use of the word fag and other slurs it depends if I remember to sensor it, you have been warned.</p><p>Comment if you want another chapter, they all just need editing and I don't believe anyone will make it this far so I didn't edit.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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